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About Ralphyboy

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    Well, love to work out, swim, love going to Hooters..lol
    I am a Veteran..
    Just trying to survive in a really fucked up world.
  1. I have been on the Ativan for about a year now. I used to take it everynight with 10 mg of Ambien because of terrible insomnia, but weaned my way off to just a PRN basis. I had a panic attack with no meds when I was in another city, and the ER doc gave me 5 mg of Valium that really didnt seem to do a lot of good. A couple of years ago I took .25 mg of xanax, and that seemed to help a lot...
  2. I am having terrible anxiety now... I am taking Ativan .05 mg at bedtime as needed for nightime anxiety, which is great cause it knocks me out.. but I need something during the day that wont put me to sleep.. I would ove some feedback
  3. Yes, I will be sticking around this time... I will be in/out during the day.. and some at night.... Looking foward to getting back into the swing of things
  4. Hello again all, Its been a very trying last few months... but I realized something in that last few months... I cant do this alone... I need help and support from people who KNOW what it is I am going thru.. So I am here... and I look foward to chatting with everyone..
  5. and I am treating my illness the best I can... but I am not getting any support.. at all.. especaiy from the people who supposedly "love me" I just have NEVER been in this kind of situation before, I am anxious, I am angry, and I am scared.. human emotions.. just reahing out... please stop stomping on the hand.
  6. This is going to take a few minutes, so please bear with me... For all of you who think your relationship is bad.. read on As everyone who reads my blog knows, and some other people on here, I live with a very manic depressive, passive/aggressive woman that refuses to get help... everything is everyone elses fault.. she is the ultimate victim... if something does not go her away, or if does not agree about it, she will brood for DAYS.. sometimes WEEKS.. this serves as a sort of "punishment" toward the supposed 'evl-doer' (mostly me) and serves notice not to do it again or the 'penal
  7. I coud never be in that type of relationship again... while it was great fun back then now, I just want to be with someone who is faithful to ME.. and wants to be with just ME I admit, I have MAJOR trust issues.. but I have gone thru utter HELL to feel that way...
  8. polyamory?? you mean swinging... right... kidding.. Polyamory has nothing to do with cheating because you enter the relationship KNOWING there will be other partners involved.. I had a relationship like that in the late 80's... best year of my life lol.. but back then, I didnt care... my wife's last husband and her tried swinging... ended tragically
  9. ahhh yes, the repulsion issue I too, would have a very hard time even TOUCHING her again if I found out she was cheating... but I would appreciate her telling me... instead of just hoping the memory would fade.. there have been times when a person just has ONE fling... ONE little fling that he/she tries to justify by saying... "its the other persons fault" or "He/She MADE me do it" No one but YOURSELF makes you cheat... I know people out there get all sorts of offers all the time to cheat.. hell, there is even a website dedicated to finding someone to have an affair with.
  10. I agree I think cheating, unfortunately, is the rule rather than the exception... I tried to justify my cheating by saying that all humans desire to mate with as many mates as possible... yea..lol.. real bullshit like that. I have, nor will I ever forgive someone who has cheated on me, just like I dont expect to be forgiven... but like I said... if the THOUGHT of cheating is there... than just get out... cheating is hard to do... it is hard to keep the lies up... and, ultimately.. the other person WILL find out... and yes, like right now.. if cheating is invoved.. the real
  11. I have cheated... and I have had an ex wife that cheated.. my wife now I believe is cheating... I dont know about physically... but I know she is mentally cheating which is just as bad... Cheating never solves anything.. it is hurtful, and makes the relationship more of a hell that it already is... As I grow older, I know I could not cheat now... now I believe that if you are thinking of heating, just break up or get a divorce... at least thrn you know what the hell is going on.. it will still hurt like hell, but you can move on... one day at a time... mentally cheating is just
  12. I appreciate your comment on my blog... consider me here for you as well..

  13. I dont think I am BP, I have been diagnosed Borderline Personality DIsorder and major anxiety/ PTSD issues... But i have this recording in my head that just wont seem to shut off... even at night, It takes my mind a good 2-3 hours ( 1.0 mg of Lorazepam) to finally shut my mind off.. my body is ready for sleep... but my mind, thats a whole different matter. Its affecting my mood, my school I go to at night, and my life. Its a recording I have had my whole life... it says "you arent good enough"... "you suck at everything you do"... and "You have wasted your life... just quit now"
  14. Good Morning to you as well!!

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