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  1. Like Blahblah said, I don't know how possible it is to pick them apart, what happens in one always impacts on the other, each of them has its own ignition but they'll also fire the other one up (or freeze the other one!)
  2. Obama is right wing here, he would be a member of our right wing party if he was a politician here. It's all very relative.
  3. Blahblah's ideas sound like they're worth a shot if you like the sound of them Also I wonder if while in this numb state you can do work that will make you prepared for what things might be like with a lower dose... Building new habits that fight or prevent, that you could keep up once the dose was lowered and they became more important Working with a tdoc Having plans in place for what to do on the darkest days Having a self-care toolbox (a literal physical box) I mean the body itself can turn us numb to protect us from difficult emotions, and meds can also do that for us, and either way we can kind of gradually and cautiously reintroduce those feelings in a safe way with work and with a little help from people who care about us and our process
  4. Well that really sucks. I used to really hate my job but now that i know it's not forever i don't mind it so much. When I really really hated my job things i tried to remember was - it's not 24/7, there is still some time that belongs to me - I am having some level of positive impact on people's lives by doing this job (so are you) - meaning in life doesn't have to come from a job, there are lots of other things i am and do, my job is just one small part of me You seem to be in a super dark place right now and it must be awful
  5. yeah if they are perfect then the relationship will be fine and everything will work out It also means I can jump rapidly between blaming them for every single problem and blaming myself for every single problem and at no point feel like it's 50/50 even though I know in my head that's what a healthy way of thinking would be
  6. That makes a lot of sense, and I guess when I am splitting in the other direction, thinking the person is wonderful and perfect, it's because 1. I need them to be 2. I can't allow myself not to like them completely, just in case that means being alone and unloved again 3. maybe part of me thinks it's not ok to think they are imperfect, that i'd be betraying them
  7. I have to write a self reflection thing regarding defense mechanisms and I'm thinking about "splitting" . Anyone can do it. I do it a lot. It's very hard for me to hold in my mind that someone can be good and bad at the same time.. including me, I'm either fantastic or I'm terrible. When my partner is annoying me I hate his guts, it's very hard to feel love for him at these times, that goes for everyone I love. Then when he is annoyed at me it is devastating because i feel like he despises me at those times, and I can't handle that. He asks me to clean a dish and i choke, I'm so upset I can't breathe, he hates me and my world is ending It's normal for toddlers, you take them to kindergarden and they hate you, despise you for getting them up in the morning, but then they adore you again when it's time to go home. Some of us don't lose this... I can't figure out how it benefits us though.. why do i still do this, what's the pay off for me? Why can't people be ok? Me included . Even if there is no pay off anymore, what WAS the pay off for the toddler? How was this a defense? I just can't handle a chaotic world, is that it?
  8. I can now cut my own hair. I'm not great at it but I have definitely paid for worse haircuts. Sure it's uneven, but it's a "cheerful" look I like, not the serious haircut that the hairdressers decide will suit me sometimes. I'm also a bit less shy about talking on the phone now because I have had to do it so much Have you picked up any new skill?
  9. I'm coming to this months later but maybe something to think about in the spring... Two couples I know did this and had a great time. They stocked up on everything they would need in their car and they hit the road, so they did only outdoor/in car activities and didn't need to interact with anyone, they loved it. I think Jarn's question is perfect "If you are not comfortable, would you enjoy it?" maybe there is a way to do it and be comfortable. What do you think? Before all this I really wanted to book a cabin somewhere and stay there for a week.. I just looked at their website again.. their new slogan is "Seclusion and Safety" ha ha ha ha ha.. I swear they didn't promise safety before. What a funny world we are living in, when marketers for accommodation say "oooo... we can offer people safety! tell them how safe it is!"
  10. This is lovely. I'd like to watch the fascists trying to come up with an excuse not to let couples like this get married I used to get asked that too, I don't know if I've gotten better at masking or if it's just that the places where I work now happen to be more accepting or if it's i haven't had a lot of conversations. I do still sometimes make people say things like "well.. that was an odd thing to say" or "huh.. i don't really know what to say to that"
  11. i feel like once you are touching someone and within 2 centimeters of them masks have become a moot point, that ship has sailed. Unless you want to really push the definition of a "quicky": Maybe both people start by themselves in separate rooms, then mask up, run into a third room, climax as quickly as possible and then return the to the rooms that they came from and get dressed again. If it takes too long to climax you can return to your "prep" room and try again later. When you are in the "coupling" room you are to choose positions that facilitate distancing of the faces. So not missionary, scissoring seems ideal.
  12. I have the same problem, one of my bosses won't wear a mask and i have to go into the room that they occupy to do things like photocopy or print things. I have asked all my coworkers to wear masks and called them out on it repeatedly when they dont, but what the hell do i do when it's my boss!? I think the fan idea was good. you are right it is not about your feelings it is not a subjective risk it's objective. they are hotboxing the room with their breath
  13. the government told everyone to stay at home but through some loophole i still have to go to work till next week AHHHHHHHHHHH i hate this Wishing you a speedy recovery regardless DogMan!
  14. Another thing that is scary about him is that despots from all over the world can learn from his playbook. The next Trummp might be much worse. We need to teach kids about cults at school, I know everyone feels their own favourite topic should be taught at school, but if people don't recognize when they are talking to someone who is under mindcontrol then they will very quickly fall prey to it themselves.
  15. I feel like "sleepy Joe" sounds fine. Plus all Biden has to do to refute it is stand up straight. "Crooked Hillary" really stuck, there was nothing she could do to disassociate herself with that, good psychology for people who are unconcious. It was like she was contaminated with that name. When your target audience are people who are on autopilot to the point where all that matters is how you make them feel stuff like that is important. "People won't remember anything you said, just how you made them feel" one of Trump's campaign advisors said that and it's so horrible and so true I always alternate between being baffled at how stupid he is and then baffled at how diabolical he is He just tweeted that Biden wants to kill babies... is anyone stupid enough to believe that? Well if he'd said it 4 years ago maybe not but people are deeply entrenched in his cult now
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