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Antecedent

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  1. My therapist gave me this and I love it What blows my mind about it is that 1. Everyone will have completely different answers, and all the answers are equally good, objectively 2. I can choose my values https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/values-clarification.pdf That number 2 is a really big deal. Say I wanted to be a millionaire by 40, and then I lost my job, well, theoretically, I could just change my number 1 value to friends, and spend more time with my friends. Ok, it's not that easy, but just that sense of choice is very liberating. I had this kind of tunnel vision, thinking the way I had in my head of being happy was the only way, and this little photocopy made me realize that if one of those doors closes I can find something else on the list and work on that. You know? I think sometimes our culture tells us we need to fill no. 1 into all those boxes and have each and every one of them and spend 24/7 chasing each and every one of them, nonsense. I also like how it helps me understand other people. For me free time is higher than wealth, but someone who rates wealth higher might be perplexed I choose free time, because they don't see values as subjective, that's fine! That's their deal. I don't need to feel embarrassed about working part time, because it lines up with my values... Peace, calmness, health, free time [no need to mention i'd fall apart and be let go if i tried to work more hours] Seeing this as feasible is a sign I'm not depressed right now, I get that, this will be impossible when I am depressed. All those values will look equally important and unobtainable
  2. This is a true story, but has the makings of a great joke: I watched a video about bad counsellors recently and a counsellor was quoted: "My client has avoid spider personality disorder" " . . . ? I'm not sure that's a personality disorder. . ." "Oh yes, it must be, she just avoids spiders instead of ants"
  3. It used to happen all the time, whenever I was stressed, especially if I had to do social interaction. Then my tdoc was talking to me about visualization, and I realized that's what I was doing, I was visualizing it because it calmed me down, lowered my blood pressure. So that was important information, I knew I was someone who was already benefiting from visualization, I just needed to find a healthier place to go. Now when i find myself doing it I know I am stressed and trying to calm down, and I use one of a bunch of other images I have come up with that help calm me down and focus on one of them instead. It's different for everyone, maybe you'll be behind a waterfall, or in a forest, or on the beach, maybe stroking a pet, or whatever, some visualization that helps you calm down, include something for every sense if you can, not just sounds and sights but what can you smell, what temperature is it etc. I hope that helps! We are all different and there are lots of different reasons people self-harm or think about it so it might not be relevant for you but there we go
  4. Oh no! That's awful. My current tdoc has a bit of a sense of humour, a cautious one. He's starting to come out of his shell thankfully. I know they are encouraged not to laugh at jokes because jokes are so often being made to protect from an underlying emotion which is painful, but actually taking a joke seriously... 😧 I get that you don't want to laugh and get off track but you should still, hopefully, get the joke if you are going to get me.
  5. i hate potpourri it's just asking to get knocked over and picked up, one tiny pointless piece at a time
  6. I thought I was getting headaches when there were solar flares because they seemed to coincide, but it turns out I was just spending too much time using my smartphone! Which way do you put the toilet paper? (assuming you have a thingy to hang it on.. we don't!)
  7. Videos of people steam cleaning stuffi pu: I put my own music on in the background
  8. I don't have an ad blocker but I don't see the ads... I guess I should pay then!
  9. My goals are.. I want to get better at handling stress, get new tools or get better at using the ones I have. I want to look at stress and learn to deal with it instead of always evading it. I want to know myself better and accept myself a bit more, well I don't want to accept myself more, cause I suck, but I know that I should want to, so it's a goal. I'm hoping my interpersonal skills can improve, but I don't want to be picked on and insulted and told I'm wrong like with my second therapist.I want it done gently and mutually, and let me instigate it. Once I've done that I'll know I can work well with this tdoc and can go into, you know, the sad stuff.
  10. It's been studied in the sense that it has been consistently found to help people in RCTs. From what I've heard the thing is that no one knows why it works, there is no evidence that the original hypothesis on why it worked is true. But hey, it works. We don't actually know why most psych meds work either, there are just unproven hypothesis. I was pretty stunned when I found that out, but hey, if they work they work! Every time I say this someone "explains" to me how they work, but they are just explaining an unproven hypothesis. So it's no more "alternative" than psychiatric meds are alternative. (I think this is the course where they explained the different hypotheses of anti-depressants, but I forget which one i twas because I did a few of these free courses https://www.open.edu/openlearn/health-sports-psychology/health/understanding-depression-and-anxiety/content-section-0?active-tab=description-tab ) The main reasons humans want to know why is that if we know why we can streamline it, or find different applications, or new and better ways of doing it, but in the meantime.. it works!
  11. It sounds like we all agree that great therapists are hard to find, but most of us would be delighted to find one who was just "good" or "ok" and we would settle for that, even when we really need help, it's actually so hard to find a great one that anyone who isn't bad is automatically very good... does that sound right? Marsha Linehan of DBT fame gets her trainee DBT therapists to knowledgeable and say aloud that "most therapists are jerks" and to never doubt what a client says about a previous therapist! My new one seems respectful and tentative and flexible and open and at least somewhat interested... and is affordable! I think I'm on to a winner
  12. That would be fantastic, how do I get that? Can I add "respectful": somebody who always treats me as an equal, even when I'm completely wrong, and discusses things with me rather than just making orders as if they were omnipotent and were definitely right and my doubts can't possibly be reasonable.
  13. Coffee is a miracle drug I adore it. I couldn't have it yesterday because of a stomach upset and i was back to the old me, clumsy, grumpy.... This youtube channel is run by a doctor and they say it's healthy! That's all the proof i need
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