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Antecedent

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  1. Ah I hate group work, one or two people end up having to do everything, assuming it's even possible to do everything since the workload is meant to be divided between everyone. I understand the importance of team work, but in your job everyone has to be there from 9-5, so while they are there they will presumably do something since they are there anyway, it would be very different working in that kind of team. If they are going to give people group work they should use an odesk/upwork style program where people clock hours and the people who put in 0 hours fail regardless of how well the final project was done, and the people who put in all the work get a little bonus considering it would have been better if they'd had help.
  2. I don't know.. not yellow anyway... hmmm warm colours, but i like to wear cold ones... hmmm... i like to wear bright colours anyway, regardless of whether they suit me if you buried a time capsule, what would you put in it?
  3. there are some non-GM meal replacement shakes available if that is your thing, and if you have time you can make your own
  4. Well you've had more interactions with this person than I, but even if you hadn't I wouldn't have tried to change your perspective. I hope you get some sleep soon, ❤️ take care
  5. I'm inclined to believe people's versions of events until I think that not believing them might be helpful to them, but you're welcome to think different Sometimes challenging people can be really helpful to them, who is expert on when to say what, nobody! Forums are great because you get different perspectives
  6. there is a strong correlation between spirituality and happiness, a lot of people see that as a causation and try to encourage us to become religious... even if it did guarentee happiness I'd rather be true to myself and my own beliefs. Brene Brown says you can't be a good therapist if you aren't spiritual... i think a lot of therapists believe this, but certainly not all, I think Coa has had terrible bad luck.... it is possible that they said something ambiguous that seemed like it might have been religious when it wasn't, but it's not at all unlikely that they genuinely are preaching
  7. Sounds like the situation is new and acute... have you given yourself a chance to... i don't know what the word is. I remember in the Buddha and the Borderline Van Gelder talked about the importance of giving yourself a chance to say Oh shoot, what a pity or whatever words you want to, before moving on to accepting or trying to reframe or any other skill. Acknowledging your own negative feelings... Anyway, assuming you've done that and you feel ready to move on to trying to accept check out the replies to Geek's thread The skill is really hard, it's so easy in theory and then you apply it to absolutely anything and it becomes so hard. How do we accept things that we really really really wish weren't. well we still wish they weren't the case, we don't try to let go of that preference.... and then.. I don't know, I hope something in the thread above might help
  8. Yeah it is worth a shot, i have heard good things about it. The experiences I've heard were that as long as you have a good internet connection it works well, they can connect and work well together
  9. oh i have another one, maybe this is useless too, don't worry Zeno wrote: "When a dog is tied to a cart, if it wants to follow, it is pulled and follows, making its spontaneous act coincide with necessity. But if the dog does not follow, it will be compelled in any case. So it is with men too: even if they don't want to, they will be compelled to follow what is destined." Ok so the thing is the cart is pulling us along, but we do have a choice about whether we want to walk along with it or be dragged or try to pull in the opposite direction, but that's not the only choice, it is going slowly enough that we can stop to sniff the odd thing, and look at the scenery and say hello to the dogs we pass etc. what i mean is we are tied to the cart but that's not all we are sorry if that's not relevant
  10. i'm not getting into the topic of serial killers in training but i'll tell you that it's common for people with anxiety of both genders to have difficulty talking to members of the opposite sex and also difficulty in becoming and maintaining arousal. both these things can be overcome with therapy, especially CBT. i'm not saying any more don't @ me
  11. 1. I ate an orange even though you could never grow an orange here 2. I found the thumb drive i was looking for 3. there are 2 free albert ellis audiobooks on youtube so i listened to them while playing video games (i feel really debauched for admitting that i played so many hours of video games, but hey, i was reading!)
  12. As I understand it, in REBT they would would have said... and in stoicism as well.... I would strongly prefer not to feel trapped, but it's not that i "must not feel trapped" , i have been surviving it and i will continue to handle it and there is no reason why i cannot also find some moments of joy in days when i am trapped apparently the weird paradox is that when you can accept stuff like that as strong preferences and not things that you absolutely need, things start to feel better I hope that is in some way relevant, it's just because I happen to be reading a book on that topic that it happened to come into my head, don't worry if it's no use, no reason why it should be (though i would prefer that it be useful to you )
  13. 1. I found the book I was looking for for just $4.50 in a second hand book store 2. the cat was cute 3. crossed the road several times without getting hit by a car ( i guess i could have still said that even if i had been hit by a car one of the times )
  14. - I was able to give someone in work a Tylenol for their headache when they didn't have any - had time to read a bit - someone gave me a lift home so i didn't have to walk to the bus stop in the rain!
  15. had a healthy lunch read a little drank lots of coffee meditated
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