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Antecedent

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  1. I follow a really wonderful Youtuber who is non-binary and does not want to appear overtly male or female (but is more hurt by being misgendered as female than by being misgendered as male) what they do is go on the other hormone for a while (the one their body isn't making a lot of) and then come off it when they want. If you want the name of that particular youtuber DM me, you might like their videos, especially the ones on hormones. It sounds like their goal is not the same as yours but learning about how they go about it might be helpful Would a non-binary talk-therapist help? With therapy being online now it's probably easier to find one, as you can cast a much wider net since you don't have to drive to their office.
  2. Millicent is a good name, let's bring it back.. I mean i don't know how, I guess I'll just start calling people Millicent
  3. late to the party but no less happy for you ✴️✴️✴️ I always get colds in winter and I have IBS so i often have GI stuff so I am really worried that when* i get it it will be a while before I realize it's something new and i have to get tested but yeah I am being super cautious just in case i do have it and don't know *i say when because my job puts me in contact with a lot of people
  4. I think newbies don't realize how active it is because they don't realize how much is going on in the blogs, they just see the forum and they think there is no one here. It really is a great place
  5. both, both of them 100% of the time maybe? though the picture thoughts might not match the word thoughts. And i tend to visualize words in my head, so i often read in dreams
  6. Ha ha ha rule following safety nerd while also being a rebel! That's me. can't abide unearned authority and question everything I am ever asked or told to do and get annoyed super quick if i see any chance someone is trying to "control" me but at the same time, high visibility vest, bike helmet, lights, face mask, all the hand sanitizer... all that stuff.. because it makes sense! i can't hyperfocus when cycling so i don't think i could with driving Never got a driving licence but did move out at 18! What's impulsivity like for you then?
  7. In school i definitely would have been more on the inattentive side than the hyperactive side, but I think that was because I was just so sensitive to /terrified of being annoying to adults. When I'm on my own I beep and boop and sing and make a lot of noise and stand up and walk around and spin around, but that was kind of talked out of me, my parents always said i was talkative like it was a bad thing, and even though they are really kind people i was so hypersensitive to that and tried not to be so talkative, I was a complete chatterbox... but yeah for whatever reason i'd say I'm definitely inattentive type now.. though I can be extremely impulsive at times all right. It's like, I'm usually not, but when I am it's so impossible to control. I remember I got it into my head I wanted a tablet and i couldn't wait to get it, i couldn't take the time to research the thing, i had to have it, had to click order immediately, and then when i was waiting for it to arrive i was so irritable... and that does not suit my overall personality, I'm so not into shopping and stuff, and I remember wanting to play with other people's toys so much that I ended up accidentally breaking them while trying to pull them off them, when i was much too old to act like that, even though i didn't mean to do it and i definitely wasn't trying to bully i just HAD to have the toy, it was all i could think about. I say I'm inattentive because the few hyperactive boxes I tick aren't all the time, whereas the inattentive stuff is a daily nightmare You are a star KJ thank you so much for your empathy, I'm so glad your kids have their dx and won't have the same obstacles as we had Gosh it would be interesting to try meds, to try to feel "normal". I imagine learning to drive. That would be a dream come true, to know I could trust my mind enough to let it be in charge of a car.
  8. Oh stimulants! It's a whole thing, KJ So to get assessed for ADHD here I need my records from elementary school. I contacted my elementary school and all the records were destroyed in order comply with GDPR (they wouldn't have had to destroy them if they could find all the people and get permission, but track down 50 years worth of people, decades after they'd left the school?). So at the moment, unless they change the process, that's it!. I can get a private assessment, I met someone who did that, all they were able to say to her was "we can say with 100% confidence that if we had your school records we could give you an ADHD diagnosis". I was unsure whether to pay for that sort of validation. I just know I have this, I can spot other ADHD people and I know they can spot me too by how they act towards me, how we are on the same wavelength, but they might not call it ADHD because it's not a popular diagnosis here. I can really relate to other ND people in a lot of ways too, but ADHD is the one where I tick all the boxes, and I've read books about it, both popular ones and university textbooks, I'm really confident I have it, and I've read about a whole bunch of "disorders" (mental health has been my fixation for a few years, before that it was languages, before that it was art, before that it was music, before that it was animals) so it's not like this is the first one I learned about and so I got "med student syndrome" where you can relate a little bit to everything so you think you have everything. I know self-dx is frowned upon in places where there isn't so much gatekeeping, but it's a very different culture here. You can imagine, even physical health is not very medicalized, so imagine what mental health is like! So I figure, a diagnosis is just a pdoc saying "other people who have the same list of difficulties found benefit from X, Y and Z, so we'll try X, Y and Z with you" and so in that sense I feel it's ok to get help from the community, checking first of course that I am asking about something that is recognised as part of ADHD and not just some other thing I might have for some other reason. You probably already know about Autistic burnout but just in case you don't or someone else might be reading this and needs to see it:
  9. I've been like this my whole life is the thing... well, since I started school... so if it didn't come up that one time I got a blood test (regular blood tests aren't a thing here) then it won't come up now I'm guessing.
  10. That sounds sooo familiar too @BlahBlah, I can only work part time and this is a big part of the reason why, the burnout (if we call it that) gets unmanageable if I try to work longer hours. I had a colleague with CFS and although our tiredness was completely different and I couldn't relate to his experience (though I could emapthize) the effect was the same, we both worked the same part time hours!
  11. CeremonyNewOrder, interesting! Hmmm.... I looked it up, apparently there is one sleep clinic in my whole country, I bet that means it's expensive, it's a private hospital as well, one of our only private hospitals. Sleep studies aren't really a thing here it seems! people don't get checkups either, a doctor would be so confused if you went to them and said you weren't sick and just wanted a checkup, the health system is very different here. Higher life expectancy though so it can't be doing that much harm, i mean the life expectancy could be because of something completely unrelated to the health system but it still means that the health system isn't counteracting health too badly. I might well have sleep apnea, but it doesn't seem like that type of tiredness. It feels very different to how I feel if I didn't get what I consider a good nights sleep or I only slept a few hours. Hmmmm.. So in order to get a referral to a sleep clinic I'd need to go to a regular doctor first.. I might do that after the pandemic, plus a regular doc could say whether she thought I needed a sleep study or just a pdoc referral Thanks for the validation Oniliscious , always good to know I'm not alone.
  12. BF asked me if maybe I should get assessed for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome but I know a fair bit about CFS and I know that's not what's up, it's not that type of tired. It's the ADHD exhaustion, I hear a lot of ADHD people talk about it. Exhaustion isn't the right word, it's just always being burned out, despite working part time and having more free time than most. It's not tired as in "I need to sleep" although I could fall asleep at any time of day if you put me in a dark room, I could sleep all day if I didn't have an alarm, but the feeling is a bit different. Burned out is the best way to express it I think, except it doesn't take much to burn me out. Well after about 5 months of lockdown I've gotten really used to not being burned out and I'm dreading going back to it. Any ideas how to cope with this lack of energy? I know reducing stress and saying "no" to unnecessary projects or extra hours is really important, anything else? Also I know lockdown didn't have this affect for a lot of people, that it full on sucked for a lot of people and made everything worse, and I want to say I hear you It just really suited my mental health, personally, and that doesn't take away from how shitty it was for lots of other people. Getting up a bit later, not commuting, not having to talk to people and put on the mask all the time, just left me with so much more energy to feel "normal" or what I imagine it must be like to feel normal
  13. Oh dear lord, while the chance of finding an excellent therapist on Talkspace is probably as high as finding one anywhere else, the company itself is an absolute poop: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/07/technology/talkspace.html Such a pity, I hope they don't give teletherapy a bad name because I think it could really help a lot of people if done right
  14. It's very normal to want to know more, and knowing more than a little bit would be damaging... so how do we deal... hmm. When I ask my tdoc "how are you" he always answers honestly and in detail, I guess he is modelling for me that in the therapy room that question is taken seriously. And every now and then he says the odd thing about himself, he says "do you mind if i self-disclose?" first, as if I am going to say "yes, I do mind!" i'm not sure he gets how asking permission works. Anyway, it's fine. I think that's it. I had another tdoc who spent a large portion of the session talking about himself, I could tell you all about him. It's cool that through the tele-health stuff you are getting to peek through a window into his home, that's really wonderful. A cat person, ❤️
  15. just reading that the reason i can't do this is because of a bit of my brain called the OFC which is typically on the fritz with ADHD or dyslexia and other things, so that's interesting but unhelpful heh
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