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About ohhmydarlinclementine

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  • Location
    New England.
  • Interests
    Biology, biotechnology, reading, writing, singing, and listening to music.
  1. Alright I'll call the dr in the morning...however, now that I think of it, I have some oral Lex solution from a year and a halfish ago...should I mention that to the pdoc? The zaps get better when I take my meds at night and then when I'm not focusing on them as well...but thanks!
  2. Side effects. What do I do? I'm going nuts here, I'm sick of being on it.
  3. I went to the pdoc on Friday and I got the okay to go off of Lexapro 15mg. I went to 10mg and have been taking it since. I didn't miss a dose but yesterday after taking 10 mg steady for 5 or so days, I got brain zaps and withdrawal like symptoms... What the hell? Why is this happening? What should I do?
  4. much better today/tonight, keeping original pdoc appt. right now unless one more thing happens in that case i WILL call. i just feel guilty with bothering my parents with all of these medical expenses... :/
  5. I really need to sleep...and I'm gonna try to soon, crying makes me tired and now I'm too worn out to do anything. Thank you.
  6. I didn't call my pdoc, but I stayed home from school today. So right now I've just completely crashed down into a depressed state and I told my friend, who proceeded to go off on me about how I choose to be fucked up and feel bad for myself and I'm just looking for attention. I want to hurt myself now, because all I want is to feel better, and have somewhere to vent. She used to be my somewhere, and now she's not there. I'm incredibly upset and kind of suicidal at this point, but I can't tell my mom. I can't go anywhere, I can't tell anyone because I can't go to the hospital or a day program or something. I don't have the money, and the stress of going somewhere would just make everything so much worse. I don't know what to do, I'm just in such a bad place right now... I should have called my pdoc today, I really should have but I felt better earlier, it just started now. What should I do...? Thanks for reading...
  7. Hi, like I said, if you need to talk let me know. I also live in New England. :)

  8. Alright, I will call tomorrow as it's 10:00 pm here so that's not gonna work lol. I'm not currently suicidal, but I was earlier. She doesn't want to go up on the Lamictal or the Lexapro for some reason though...I find it weird but you know, she's the doctor, I should trust her. She's pretty decent anyway.
  9. I'm proud of you for not cutting! It's a big achievement, and just think: a day leads to a week, a week leads to a month, a month leads to a year... Don't beat yourself up for slipping either. Just pick yourself back up. And for your boyfriend, I really know how that feels and you're gonna be okay. I promise. If you need someone to talk to I'm here for you, okay? I hope you feel better!
  10. Hey...it's been a while since I was on here but I really don't know what to do right now. I'm currently on 200mg Lamictal, 15mg Lexapro and 300mg XR or whatever it is Wellbutrin. I've been on the Wellbutrin for a month or three weeks or SOMETHING and it was working so well for the first few weeks! I finally had my energy and ambition back, and I was *happy* for the first time since I was thirteen (almost sixteen now). Apparently now the BP diagnosis doesn't stand, I don't even know. I'm still depressed right now. I've been this way for a few days, and it's really not due to most of the life stuff I'm experiencing (gf broke up with me, girls want to kick my ass, grades suck and I feel like I'm a failure). I'm tired again, and all I want to do is eat junk food and sleep. I'm scared to go to school because I don't want to deal with the girls that want to kick my ass, and school is just miserable in general. I barely get through the day. I was thinking of suicide a lot today for the first time in WEEKS. I was also thinking of cutting. The urges weren't strong enough to act on, but still... Anyway, I don't have an appt. with my pdoc until the beginning of April I think, and I don't know what to do until then. I can't tell anyone I'm suicidal because they're going to commit me or send me to a day program. My parents really don't have the money and I don't want to miss school...the guidance counselor and the adjustment counselor as well as the nurses know about my situation, but this still sucks... I really don't know what to do...ideas? Thank you sooo much for listening.
  11. Ah...two days later... This weekend was really bad because I ate a lot of junk food and I feel horrible about it and I want to throw up. I took a ten mile bike ride today so I was trying to equal everything out but I'm having anxiety over that. I'm planning on telling my pdoc so she can refer me to a tdoc. The tdoc I had in the past I don't think I can go to. I have trust issues with therapists. When I open up to them, I feel that they know too much. But I can't do the food journal thing. I go insane and totally obsess over the calories and the amount I'm inputting and outputting and ugh! it's just really bad. Anyway, I will keep you posted.
  12. Yeah, that too. A bunch of my friends are all "I'm so OCD" when all they do is want to be organized.
  13. To start off, I've had some sort of body image disorder since I was 8 or 9...and I've had troubles with anorexia since I was about 11. My last huge problem with it was a year ago, and that was for a year. I stopped somehow without counseling by FORCING myself to eat and having people force me to eat. I never lost that much weight but stayed at a weight that was borderline underweight. But lately, I've been having obsessive terrible thoughts about how horrible my body is and how I want to lose 8 pounds and I want to make myself throw up and/or not eat. I can't bring myself to do it (guess I enjoy food too much) and that also makes it worse. I find that the urges to throw up are in situations where I wish I had more control. I don't know what to do and I really want to lose the weight and I'm totally obsessing over it. Any advice. By the way, I'm 5'2 and 118 pounds
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