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    art, taxidermy, collecting

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  1. they're being abused by strangers, that's a totally different thing- and yes you can become hardened to it with exposure it's not like being abused in an intimate relationship, or by family. just like how your own problems are serious and big, but hearing about someone else's, you are able to be objective.
  2. I am a true badass. Seriously. And crazy as a shitehouse rat to boot. I'm usually too depressed to go outside and prove it though. -I mean, I make a living from my art and have no other job. I don't even get disability or any kind of welfare. Like I said, BADASS.
  3. They started me on this recently. I don't know what my thoughts are yet because I only just started but I as glad to see this thread, hope more people chime in. I get nervous about new medicines
  4. I get what I call "mice" in my periphery. driving at night, they look like white fluffs running across the sides of the road. in the daytime or indoors, like mice running along the baseboards. I also get tiny floaters, but they don't move like real floaters, they're specks in my vision. when I am at my worst I see shadows move or flicker, and I see everything almost pixelated. I don't know which are tricks of light and which are bona fide hallucinations. The "mice" show up in all different places and lighting, so I am pretty sure those are hallucination.
  5. that totally sounds like a mixed state, or at least what my pdoc called a mixed state, you have the energy of a mania but the emotion of a depression. I have no advice or ideas but it sounds awful. I have really bad chronic insomnia and I wanted to let you know that I know that feeling, and I feel bad that you have to go through this I hope that you get some better help from your doctor very soon
  6. "I have no reason to be depressed, that's why they call it MENTAL ILLNESS and not JUST BEING SAD" freakin people, kids these days, I swear, bang zoom to the moon alice!
  7. robkay I get that kinda searing rage too, less often now with my medicines, but it used to be pretty strong. I didn't realize it was part of the disorder but since it has mostly gone away with treatment I guess it must be
  8. for some of us it is selfish to go one way, for others it'd be the other way...I think that's a very individual thing. for me, having a kid would be selfish indeed, but that's not true in general for everyone. I think. I tell people when a related subject comes up. Sometimes that is right away, sometimes not. I tell people I'm dating, as soon as I decide I want to keep dating them, haha I'm lucky at work because they're accepting of it, so I can be open there too but that varies for everyone too I think.
  9. when I get dumb advice I just give them a look like "SERIOUSLY?" when I give dumb advice I expect that look.
  10. I try hard to avoid stressful situations because of this I say no a lot these days, it's better for me to say no, than to say yes and then stress over something. I'm still figuring out how much stuff I can do before it's too much though
  11. yeppers, always let them know. there may be something they can do to fix it...whether it's anti anxiety stuff or changing a dose or the time you take a dose or...something I hate the restless legs, I get them too. I started taking my seroquel a little earlier than bedtime, because they seem worst right after I take it, along with being more tense
  12. despair sex is a big one for me. three suicide attempts, one successful (I was revived with paddles and stuff) I died for a few minutes, tehnically. never clean anything, myself or anything else. dog poops and pees on newspaper, goes out once a day if I can manage it. I feed the dog when I get up to use the bathroom. so that keeps him ok... I'll read a little then nap, nap, then read. I tend to sleep a lot, but can't fall asleep easily ever so I end up on vampire schedule. no toothbrush, soap, or laundry done. no food in the house. it gets bad. books and papers and scraps and food containers all around the bed. moldy fridge. isolation. I could go on but it's more of the same
  13. When I am coming out of a depression, my psychosis lingers longer. Lately it hasn't, but I am on APs now instead of just prozac. when I was only given antidepressants it took longer for my brain to clear. for me it just meant that it took longer to go away than my other symptoms
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