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weordmyndum

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About weordmyndum

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    knitting kninja

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    saratheb5freak
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    browncoatrebel@hotmail.com
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    browncoatrebel
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    browncoatrebel

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  • Gender
    Woman
  • Location
    Northampton, MA
  • Interests
    reading, writing, poetry, fiction, literature, acting, Shakespeare, knitting, yarn, sci-fi, fantasy

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  1. Appreciated. But to restate what I said in a PM: Proving someone's being an asshole by being an asshole yourself doesn't make you clever. It just makes you another asshole.
  2. Gee, yanno, that's a pretty sweeping statement there, Indigo. As someone who has had brain surgery, I find that pretty offensive. I don't agree with what Bueler said--but I also don't appreciate being called stupid and inarticulate just because I had brain surgery.
  3. I've struggled with this too, and still struggle with it sometimes. The first time I really stopped cutting, it started out as being for other people. I was in treatment, and I'd had a terrible family meeting, to the point where I was curled up on my therapist's couch sobbing. She said something to the effect of she hoped I'd take care of myself, and I said it didn't matter. She said, "It does matter. You matter." I went back to my room, still planning on cutting. I had the blade against my arm, but I started thinking, "What if she's right? What if I do matter, even if not to myself?" And I didn't cut. This isn't an Oprah story, and I wasn't suddenly cured--but it was the first time I'd viscerally understood that it mattered to other people. And as I stopped hurting myself, it got easier and easier to resist. I started thinking about other things; I started planning for a future. I didn't want my future to include hurting myself. What I wanted started to matter to me--I started to matter to me. I had a pretty bad relapse a couple years later, which included several ER trips. I was working with a different therapist at this point, and she really pushed me to look at and talk about what was driving the behaviors. (In my case, it was a lot of unresolved trauma stuff.) As I started talking about it, the urges to self-harm got easier. Maybe it was because I already had the groundwork laid for wanting to live, I dunno. I just stopped needing to harm myself, although I still sometimes want to.
  4. Short version is I was too sick to be outpatient, but inpatient psych has never helped. My OP therapist strongly recommended I go to a program for people with treatment-resistant MI. The centerpiece of that program is intensive individual therapy, which is good because I now know that I need therapy, not just meds.
  5. I've not dealt with a psychiatric NP, but I had very positive experiences with the NP's who worked with both my neurologist and neurosurgeon. My neurologist had NO grasp of bedside manner--he told me I had something in my brain, rattled off the name of it, and left the room. I was absolutely terrified that I had some terrible brain tumor or something, and the NP managed to calm me down and explain to me exactly what was going on with my brain. My neurosurgeon was awesome, and his NP was really great. She explained to me all the technicalities of what would happen before, during, and after my surgery, which really helped with the anxiety. I've not experienced NP's as bitterr, uneducated, or bitchy. In fact, my experience has been that they're very good at dealing with the nitty-gritty stuff that doctors sometimes overlook.
  6. I take prazosin and love it. It's done wonders for my nightmares--I used to wake up screaming, and now I hardly have nightmares at all. Occasionally they'll still happen, usually when I'm really stressed out or have to deal with my family. I do have to be careful because I tend to have low blood pressure in general, and prazosin lowers it more. I only take the prazosin when I'm ready to go to bed and am not going to get up again. If I have to get up to go to the bathroom or anything, I do have to be careful because my blood pressure drops quite a lot when I stand up. I haven't had any issues with morning hangovers--I think prazosin has a fairly short half-life, and people who are taking it to lower their blood pressure have to take it 2 or 3 times a day. And on its own, it doesn't make me sleepy. Hope it works out for you.
  7. B vitamins tend to be activating and increase energy, so yes, that could increase one's anxiety. I agree with Olga, though. Even if you can find more information than your doctor is giving you, you should run this stuff by hir. Just because they're vitamins doesn't mean they're totally safe--for instance, if you're taking too much of a fat-soluble vitamin (A, D, E, or K), you can build up a toxicity.
  8. Well, that's all well and good...but has nothing to do with my initial point. When someone is in distress, telling them to wait 20 years and get over it comes across as really invalidating.
  9. With Deplin (L-methylfolate) I had an initial increase in anxiety. What are you taking? Are you working with a doctor around this?
  10. First of all, welcome to CB. I can only speak to my own experience of dissociation, but the only thing that's been helpful for me is ongoing therapy. It sounds like you didn't really "click" with the guy you were seeing, and that can make things much harder. If therapy isn't a viable option, grounding techniques are good but only part of the solution, IMO. For me, the really vital part has been identifying triggers. Once I know what's driving the dissociation, it's easier to stop it before it starts. Generally, for me, that's some sort of emotional overwhelm. Deciding whether to tell people is hard. It may be useful to tell the disability services office at your college, as they can often give you accommodations to help you manage school. Other people...it can be hard to tell. I tend to tell people only when absolutely necessary or when it's someone I really trust, but that's just me. You may just need to feel it out.
  11. That comes off as really condescending. When you're dealing with stigma, it seems incredibly dismissive for someone to say, "Just get over it; it'll be better in 20 or 30 years."
  12. I'd have to side with your friend here. You may not be engaging in behaviors that are physically unhealthy, but it's definitely not mentally/emotionally healthy. That level of obsession with weight and diet get portrayed as normal in our culture, especially for women, but that doesn't make it true. If you were displaying that level of obsession with anything else, people would be concerned. Same holds true for an obsession with weight and diet. Also, in my experience, that obsession makes it easy to go from what is nominally healthy, calorically, to cutting out another 100 calories, then 200, then 300, and so forth. The rigidity makes it easier for disorder to slip in unnoticed.
  13. One big thing to watch for with Ambien is weird parasomnias. Most of them are fairly innocuous, but there was a news story a few years back where a Congressman drove to the Capitol in the middle of the night because he thought he had to vote on something. He had a wreck, and there was something of a scandal with accusations that he was driving drunk. I dated a guy who'd eat all kinds of weird stuff while on Ambien--entire sticks of butter, uncooked pasta, etc. When I took it, I didn't have any issues with parasomnias. I did have morning hangovers, but that may just have been because I still wasn't sleeping much/well even with the Ambien. Hope it works for you.
  14. You didn't say how bad your sleep was, so this might not apply--but sleep deprivation can cause psychosis. The only times I've had psychotic symptoms were when I wasn't sleeping for days at a time. So perhaps your symptoms could've been a result of sleep deprivation and not Seroquel.
  15. your asking if being grounded is all that? i think if i had the choice id stay in my body...:/ I imagine various people have various answers to that question. We probably all have different experiences of being in our bodies and being out of them
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