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thunder

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  1. When I'm coming down from hypomania I often get short bursts of intense agitation where I feel a combination of depressed, overwhelmed and restless. Obviously for me, being on a mood stabilizer that controls the hypomania is the best long-term solution, and lamotrigine has helped cut that down a fair bit. I have had some breakthrough periods though of this and I've found that ativan helps in those moments. I discovered this when my previous psych had prescribed me ativan prn for anxiety and I decided to see if it would help since there is often anxiety mixed in for me. I don't really need ativ
  2. I take it in the morning. When I was originally put on it, my psychiatrist recommended morning but told me I could switch to evenings if I had any issues with mornings (for example, when I was on celexa I took it at nights because it made me slightly nauseous, but taking it right before bed didn't cause problems). At one point I tried to switch my Zoloft to nights since I was having a hard time remembering to take it in the mornings, but it gave me insomnia, so I switched back to mornings and worked on other ways to make sure I took it.
  3. It sounds like she is trying to push you farther right now that you feel like you can manage. Would you be able to tell her that you need to slow down and that adding one new activity a week feels like too much to take on? Maybe see if you can pick one activity outside your house and talk about little steps to break it down, what your fears are at each point, and how you can handle them when they come up. Then try to take one step that week and come back and talk about how it went and if you are ready to try another step.
  4. My reaction to lexapro was pretty similar to dancesintherain - irritable, anxious, agitated and what I thought was akathisia, although my psychiatrist at the time told me it couldn't cause that. She also denied that I could possibly be bipolar despite very clear (in retrospect) hypomania, so there's that. Celexa was actually less problematic for that, although without a mood stabilizer I eventually became hypo and then cycled down to depression and it didn't work anymore for that. Similarly, Zoloft helped with my depression initially without immediately causing hypomania, although like celexa
  5. I was originally prescribed lorazapam for anxiety, but I do get some benefits when I am hypomanic. It helps me sleep, which in turn can help control hypomania. It also helps with some of the symptoms when I am already on the wind-down from hypomania. I often get really irritable after a few days of feeling really good. This often precipitates a crash towards depression, but it seems that lorazapam can reduce the irritability and soften how I come down from being hypo. I've never been fully manic and since being on my current dose of lamotrigine (400mg), my hypo's have been pretty mild. However
  6. Pretty similar when I'm depressed. Any little negative thing feels like another huge indicator that I am worthless and the world is a terrible place. I sometimes experience the flip side when I'm manic and in a way become hypersensitive to negative feedback and get angry quickly and feel like everyone else in the world is doing everything wrong and why can't they just realize that they should have included me or let me make the decision or whatever.
  7. I wonder if your doctor could give you some general guidance as to what sort of symptoms merit getting checked out quickly in case they do indicate something serious vs those that you can try to ride out with your ERP for a while and then come in if they don't subside. There are a lot of variables, so I don't know how much help they can actually give toward that, but it might be worth asking about since it sounds like you have a pretty understanding doctor.
  8. One term that a therapist I had used was "aborted suicide attempt" to describe an action I took. I feel like this captures the fact that I began something that I hoped would kill me, but stopped myself before I did anything that I thought could kill me. I feel it validates the severity of the suicidal intent while still acknowledging that I did ultimately decide to stop and keep living.
  9. If you haven't already, I would carefully double check the language in your insurance plan. Some plans will have a way of getting an additional number of sessions approved through some sort of appeal process where you show medical necessity.
  10. I took it briefly a few years ago when I had an anti-benzo pdoc and we were considering a PRN anxiety med. Propranol helps with physical anxiety symptoms, like racing heartbeat, but this also means that it decreases your cardiac output during physical exertion by not allowing your heartbeat to get as elevated then. I'm a serious runner, and this was noticeable, even if I had taken it in the morning and wasn't running until 8+ hours later (my pdoc told me that this effect should wear off within 2-3 hours, which was NOT true for me). It wasn't worth it for me and I just managed without a PRN for
  11. Specific policies will vary from school to school. Most will have a certain period of time during which you can withdraw and get a partial or full refund, but generally the further you are into the quarter/semester the less refund you'll receive if you receive on at all. Generally, after whatever deadline the school has set, you would have to petition to receive a refund because of exceptional circumstances. Your, professors, were grading your assignments and you were using school resources, and funds for these have to come from somewhere. I can only speak to the environment I work in, wh
  12. Every school is going to be different in exactly what they offer as far as mental health services and how they structure these. In my experience, disability services are usually separate. In college, I saw a therapist & pdoc at our student health center. My grad school had more limited student health services and I used a community clinic. In school I never identified myself as having a disability or used any sort of accommodations, partly because I did well academically, and partly because I had a lot of internalized stigma around mental illness. I now work at a community college as
  13. I've been dealing with this recently too. I haven't found a full solution - I'm seeing my doc in a few days so we'll see if I might need something med wise to bring me down a bit. Putting as many steps between you and hooking up helps. I'm a gay man, so its super easy to find quick sex using several different apps. I've tried deleting apps (but have a few times ended up re-downloading them in moments where I lack self-control), since it's my main way of identifying partners, but it might be harder for someone who is straight since most men could be a potential partner - maybe some others
  14. Before I even schedule the first appointment, I check about general availability to make sure I'm going to be able to see them consistently. Then I have a couple of specific things I ask about. What's their experience and approach to working with people with mood disorders & potential suicidality? Even if suicidality is a current concern, I have enough experience with it, that I want to know someones ability to handle it if it comes up. What's their experience working with transgender individuals? Even though I'm long past transition, I still want to make sure someone is knowled
  15. You say that half the session is spent on more-or-less checking in how things are going and, "what's next" rather than addressing your goals. Does he actively steer you away from these goals, or just not bring them up on his own? Would it be possible at the start of the session when he askes how you are/how your week has been/whatever opening question he asks to give a brief summary and then explicitly bring up your goals? Like give a one or two-minute summaries of your week and then transition and say something like, "what I'd really like to talk today is [whatever it is you want to talk abou
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