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Everything posted by squirmy

  1. The FBI raided my home back during the Oklahoma City Bombing business because I served in army with boys who done that deed ,,, talk about paranoid I still am as of today thinking that my house is being watched and that I am to. I install five securety cameras around my and can monitor everything on my phone..I really dont the difference between fear or terror and being paranoid.
  2. I think it was anxiety if the xanex worked that well for you, but I was wondering if it could have been brought on because you hadnt eaten that day and that made you volnerable to something like this I would definetly monitor,,oh yea almost forgot it could withdrawel from one of your meds it being that late. hope your ok squirmy.
  3. In my case I grieved alone over the dx my wife wouldnt except it and as of today I wonder if she excepts it or is it a game of some sort I'm playing or maybe she thinks we're playing well she is the only one who knows and the only whom needs to know . there is one reaction she's having at least once a week she asks whether or not I ok and I can tell she doesnt trust my judgement like when driving or talking to people which is a given lol. Any way listen to what vapourware wrote and you'll be ok she's been at this longer than alot of us have......
  4. In mid 2011 I must have went 6 times volentary and involuntary the place is a hell hole its not the place to go with depression, and I say that because of the loud confusion it's miserable and I swore the place off the last time I was in that hell hole
  5. It has been atleast a year for me but if this depression doesnt lift soon I'll be packing my bags.
  6. I would definetly speak to my pdoc I think sylvan hit the nail on the head that this is fear manifesting into a nightmare situation for you and you perception like jen78 said is merely the product of the fear
  7. I completely agree with everyone else but no matter what keep taking your meds that your on now tell your pdoc let him make the change he or she see fit and they might miss and youll have to try something else or a different way or time that you take your meds main thing dont get off of your meds.
  8. I know you mean about isolation I can barely leave the house just to mow my grass I'm trying to get this through my pdocs head but I think just where I'm stable he doesnt want to change any meds
  9. could psychosis be some sort of severe paranoia if so I can relate those were scary times and uncertain days "confused" I cant figure out why my son killed himself at 16 years old I wonder what was going through his mind was he biplolar depressed or what because I went a hell of lot when I was sixteen ans it didnt lead to that.
  10. I remeber somewhat when I snapped I found everything funny especially the though or voices I was hearing in my head I would go into histerical laughing fits in my twelth grade classes I knew something was wrong with me but I didnt know what
  11. I'm ok but iguess kinda living in the past I guess I'll definetly take your advice and we will chat sometime you are very interesting and a lot of other great attributes I think we would enjoy chatting I'll give you a yell homegirl your still in NC arent you
  12. Hi humanoid ; how are you ? its been along time hope your alright, I must agree I dont remember that much but if I ponder it seems like I remember bits and pieces but what does it matter I guess you have got to deal with the here and now but I am really glad to hear from you.
  13. When I came off of pain pills I took alot of hot bats stayed in the bed mostly I took alot of vitamins and shook the paint off the wall
  14. I was sitting here trying to remember when it went wrong when I was healthy mentally and then what happened that caused all this medication and therapy and I just put my finger on it can anyone else out there
  15. its has been a couple years ago but upon entry to the local emergency room I thought for sure that I had a tumer on my hypothilimous and after a couple of grand for test it all come back negative and I argued with tests and I have trouble believing is the fact that it had something with my being bipolar wich they knew about I dont know maybe thet wanted my money
  16. No-one told me I did I was getting dangerous to my coworkers and me also some morning's I left with shame because after doing the job for twelve years the pressure surpassed my good judement it was time to go so I am now disabled I dont like it but its the way its got to be..
  17. thanks,,sylvan its good to be back. Are you ok is everything alright you sound good,,oh its not my keyboard its these hands I was a industrial mechanic for the last twelve years and my hands are ate up with arthritus and there like really big to; so I apologize for my mistakes before I type them it's good to hear from you if you need me I'm there buddy
  18. and that is what I intend to do as soon as I build another canvas thanks nice to talk to you again Plutonian,,,,, are you ok you sound good
  19. great are you still working in gems and all, I had to go out on disability for now...........
  20. gearhead really nice to see you again also are you ok and everything ????
  21. painting my whole body hmmm that sounds like it might help unlock painters and everything else its a hell of a good idea but it would be really hard to do by yourself
  22. who put the////// 0 warning points //// thing under my photo and why doesnt anyone else have it I give this sight good money hard earned money to post here whats going on........
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