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  1. ... and it's taking me forever, I'm only up to the second town and I just want to have caught everything already because DAMN I want that Mewtwo and- Hi, I'm Nel. I like my games and I like my therapy and I am ecstatic to have been diagnosed. I'm of that group of people who just really wanted a name for the thing that keeps going wrong so they don't feel like it's all (hah) in their head. If you wanted to know, it's all in my signature. I love talking about it. I love thinking about it. Mental illness and mental health fascinates me, because there are all these people who have different experiences and who don't look at me like I'm a lunatic when I try to explain why I can't quite string together a sentence today. Feels like home when someone else describes dissociation, or laments the flick-of-a-switch moodswings, or the sudden rage. I might be afraid of people, but I don't actually like this feeling of being alone. I write, I game, I love my cats, I make soap. I swear a lot in real life and I have the most patient and understanding lover in the universe. I also really want you to like me. So there's that. So hi. I'm new. Please love me. - Nel.
  2. Hello there! Allow myself to introduce... myself. I am the 31 year old mother to a 16 month old, light-of-my-life, cute-as-a-button son. I'm currently in the midst of a separation and divorce from my husband. I have a fairly complex story, so let us begin at the beginning, shall we? I can remember being anxious as young as age four. I was formally diagnosed in my early teens with Clinical Depression and have undergone various forms of therapy and medicinal therapy throughout my teenage and adult life, off and on. Let's just say that I'm a mental disorder veteran! I used food as comfort. I then underwent bariatric surgery in 2007. As I lost the weight, my anxieties only increased to the point that it became intolerable. Not only was I having panic attacks, but I was experiencing excrutiating headaches, cluster migraines, neck, back, and shoulder pain. I ended up leaving my country (the U.S.) in the meantime and moving to Canada to be with my then-online boyfriend. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder in 2007 and moved to Canada in spring 2008. I underwent treatment for anxiety and eventually my diagnoses grew: agoraphobia, ADHD combined subtype, and social anxiety were added to my list. We married in the spring of 2009 and I became a permanent resident in 2010. I was well-managed at this point. By the time I decided to conceive a child, I was in the best place mentally that I'd ever been. When my son was born in the spring of 2012, I experienced severe Post-Partum-Anxiety in addition to the Baby Blues. I was obsessed with SIDS and developed insomnia. My husband was not much of a help. He retreated further into his computer addiction -- through which he had had an internet affair whilst I was pregnant in months 6-8 - and was playing 8-12 hours daily following working all day. It was then that I began to think about leaving him. I entered into counseling again. Readjusted medications. Joined support groups. Entered into some marital counseling. Things got a bit better as our son grew into a toddler; but they were never the same between us again. He would ease off the computer addiction slightly, then relapse. And he sees nothing wrong with it. It got worse and worse to the point that when I finally read a marriage book just a little over a month ago, I realized that I was finished. He had drained any romantic love left for him that I had had. I moved out to my best friend's house with her family for a few weeks and then found a basement apartment. Things have been immensely difficult, especially because my family is still in the US and I work full-time for his mother (at least until March). In the meantime, an old friend and supporter that I'd met through another anxiety support site years ago admitted his feelings for me. We developed a relationship after the separation (I know this has only been a short time) and he plans to leave his country to move here to be with us. He was an amazing friend and support; and now he's even moreso. We have a very special bond. But I am still in the stages of grief over losing the home I've made here and homesick for my family of origin. Things are chaotic. I haven't worked full-time in several years, and it's been a huge adjustment. My anxiety has relapsed due to the "acute stress" (thanks, doc) and so half the time I feel like I'm drowning and grasping for every rock, every branch, to slow myself down. My soon-to-be-ex husband is amicable, so long as we don't get into the financial details. He doesn't see his son as much as he should so far, then wonders why our baby cries when I leave the room. It's immensely painful and stressful and right now I feel like I have no base of comfort. So that's where I am right now. I alternate between recovery and relapse. I think it will always be a battle to stay afloat; but even for a "healthy" person, this would be a tremendous challenge. It's nice to meet you all and I hope to be able to speak to some of you through the chat support. Best Wishes, "Crimmy"
  3. Hey everyone! My name is Nora, I'm twenty-two, and I'm currently working part-time as a barista and a nanny. Eventually I would like to move to a commune in Virginia, then pursue a career as a doula and childbirth educator. My offical, documented dx include dysthemia with major depressive episodes (rapid-cycling), GAD, psychophysiological insomnia, PTSD (and all the fun side effects that come with it), and EDNOS. I have had two suicide attempts (only one of them was serious, the other was in a moment of panic and I realized I didn't mean it). As a result, I've been psych-hospitalized twice. I have a few issues that I'd talked about to a doctor, but treatment fell through. Those include BPD, paranoia, and depersonalization. I'm unmedicated due to being uninsured, and unfortunately I find other ways of self-medicating. I steer clear of alcohol because of family history, and it just makes me feel like crap. I use marijuana to help me sleep/raise my appetite during ED relapses, and I use clonazepam on a case-by-case basis during panic attacks. ANYWHO I am excited to be able to talk to other "crazy" folks and share experiences, tips, etc. Glad to be here!
  4. So I have been on Ativan 1mg x4 daily and no matter how much I take I feel no relief, I usually run out after a 2 weeks. Most say I'm on a lot but I don't feel that way. I still feel anxious and paranoid all the time. What's wrong with me!?
  5. New to the site.... It's good to be here.. Hope to get some support for my BP 1 , anxiety and depression and Anger Mgmt. ! LoL Just call me Rooster
  6. I've been wondering lately what the difference is between severe GAD and Pure O. Is it the nature of the worries? OCD-grade obsessions often are very outlandish and go beyond the ordinary day-to-day worries of most people, so I suppose that might be it. Any thoughts? I have both GAD and OCD. I have your standard OCD, but my generalized anxiety worries are actually much more like cyclical obsessions--however, most of them are about garden variety things. Health, money, death, aging, parents dying, family members getting hurt, getting hit by a car, falling into train tracks, public embarrassment, weight gain, etc. etc.
  7. Hi everyone.. I'm not exactly sure how this works (this is my first time) but I guess I'll give it a shot. I've suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember. I have a very low self esteem, insecurities etc.. I'm in college and I live with both of my parents and my brother. I don't like letting them see me because I feel like they will think I'm ugly and I start feeling pressure and tightness in my throat and chest when I have to be around people. I have anxiety attacks constantly throughout the day. I worry about every little thing in particular (school, the past, the future, and sometimes I worry about nothing at all) I feel the whole pressure and tightness in my throat right now writing this because I want it to sound right. I'll often get in a bad mood when I don't want to be around my family so they'll leave me alone because I worry too much about what they're thinking. Sometimes I will miss school because I fear something bad will happen that day and I don't want to be around people. (I guess I have some form of social anxiety) Sometimes it will get so bad I'll think about ending my life just so I won't have to go somewhere or do something. I want to be a doctor but I know my anxiety and insecurities are going to keep me from achieving that goal. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want it to stop and be normal. I don't want to worry about every little thing I'm doing or everything having to be perfect. My last psychiatrist tried several, and I mean several, antidepressants and none of them worked. They just made me tired, so I stopped going. I want to go to a new doctor but I don't want to go through taking more antidepressants. I want something that helps for once. What do I do?
  8. I’m currently an undergrad studying English lit. Enrolling in university was a huge step for me and I’m glad I took it but I worry a lot about my future. Tuition isn’t cheap and the amount of debt I’m in is increasing each semester (not that anyone needs to be reminded of that). I’m not sure if English lit is the right major for me, I like to read and write but I don’t know if getting a degree in it will be helpful for my future and eventually getting a full-time job. I also often feel out of place in my classes. The people around me seem so interested and passionate about classical literature, etc. I’d rather stay at home and re-read the same YA lit books I’ve been reading for years. I’m not passionate about anything save for napping, television show marathons, and Diet Pepsi. Chronic depression zaps my zest for life. I don’t have many options. There are some obvious interests I have like psychology, sociology, women’s studies, social work, political science, but none of these lead to a career that I feel I can handle. I don’t want to be a professor or go into academic research. Psychology and social work – I love these in theory, but in practice, I’m not sure I am capable of handling the kind of intense human interaction that is generally involved. I’m a very rigid and anxious person. My strong suits are reading and writing. I’m very terrible at maths and hard sciences (serious dyscalculia), and dealing with people (just socially inept in general). Can anyone relate?
  9. Hi all, This is one of my first posts. I've been a long-time lurker and have since decided to make an account as I have gone through a series of medication changes over the last year. I have really severe GAD/PD with ruminating thoughts that I'm not quite sure are part of my GAD or border the OCD spectrum (pure O). Anyhow, I was on Lyrica which did a great job controlling my anxiety, but completely destroyed my sexuality, so my psychiatrist took me off it and I relapsed. I'm currently taking 10mg of Lexapro (used to be 20mg) but cross-tapering to Luvox as Lexapro is causing sexual dysfunction and not controlling my anxiety, along with 22.5mg of Remeron and 3mg of Klonopin. Anecdotally, my psychiatrist says that Luvox causes less sexual dysfunction - we'll see. Anyhow, I've come across a few studies via google scholar that purport that memantine (Namenda) can be used as an adjunct agent for GAD (http://www.hindawi.c...ry/2012/749796/), and it certainly has helped a lot of people who suffer from OCD (http://scholar.googl...dt=0,5&as_vis=1), as well as depression and mixed depression/anxiety states (http://scholar.googl...dt=0,5&as_vis=1). I'm wondering if anyone here has used memantine as an anxiolytic. If so, please discuss - let me know of your experience with the med. As an aside, I've read that a lot of people use memantine in conjunction with a stimulant for ADD/ADHD, and because I'm not able to tolerate stimulants, e.g. Wellbutrin, as they exacerbate the anxiety, I'd prefer to hear from those who have taken memantine in conjunction with, say, a benzodiazepine or an SSRI. I'm desperately trying to regain my sexuality and looking/thinking outside of the box for ideas to suggest to my psychiatrist at our next appointment. Thanks, all! addendum: I'm a 27 year old (male) and so not having any sexuality is absolutely terrible. Like, ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE!
  10. After getting off xanax several months ago, my panic episodes seem to have subsided. Now I feel like I live with a constant elevated state of anxiety and worry but I want to avoid benzos at all costs (I started to get really dependent on xanax and stopped that before it got out of hand). I am also taking Wellbutrin, Adderall and Prozac, the anxiety is considerably lower when my adderall is in effect but I would like something not as habit forming to add for my around the clock edginess and anxiety. Is this a med I could ask for by name? I've read it's not scheduled but I don't want to come across as anything shady, but after researching this med it seems like it would be worth a try. Any experiences with this med, added to others to help with anxiety?
  11. I was just wondering what people's experiences have been regarding anti anxiety medication in combination with Antidepressants and mood stabilisers. At the moment I'm on Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 50mgs and Epilim (sodium valproate) 800mg. I have been formally diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) but have never had any specific medication for it. Lately my anxiety has been through the roof; I talked with Hubby and have made an appt to see my family GP in a week and I see my shrink early next month. I also see a psychologist and am working through CBT. I'm going to ask my GP about going on something specific for my anxiety as it's gotten to the point that it's really impacting on my everyday life, it's not panic, but it's definitely constant high levels of anxiety. So I was just wondering what experiences people have had using anti anxiety meds in combintation with other medications and what people have found useful for them. I understand that noone is a Dr and that YMMV. thanks for your input Chiaroscuro edited cause I can't spell!!
  12. First off I want to start off by saying I do not believe Weed should be classified as a drug that is my personal opinion.If it is grown and cultivated naturally with nothing being added to it (such as PCP, coke, any pills, ext) then IMO it is natural and has been proven that it is non-addictive on a physical level. Now on the other hand I believe that it is psychologically addictive. Through my teens until 22 I tried a ton of different drugs never keeping any of them in my life except for POT. I am not addicted to anything, I hate drinking and I feel as though Alcohol should be illegal and Weed should be legal. I have been smoking pot since I was 14 years old (24 years old now), in the past year I have slowed down my cannabis intake to such a small level that 2 hits of nugget could get me high as a kite. I have BPD, GAD, PTSD, Depression, and Fibromyalgia. Weed never affected my GAD it actually helped (note: only when at home, if I smoked in social situations I get very quiet if I'm around people I don't know.) It is the only thing that helped my anxiety at home I feel so much more relaxed when I smoke. I feel so different now that I have stopped using pot (need to take a piss test for pt work) but I feel very overwhelmed that I cant smoke not only is it apart of my life but it is apart of my night time routine (I used weed to sleep also to manage Fibromyalgia pain since pain meds make me hella sick) I have been having troubles falling asleep since I stopped smoking but I am a night owl by nature. Also the first few days I felt like I couldn't handle any stress without flipping out or walking away. I feel like I have lost a friend but at the same time, I feel like I could take it or leave it, so strange huh? Is anyone else on here a long term marijuana user? have you stopped using pot before? how do you feel when you stop using it? Is it weird that I feel like I have lost a friend? Does anyone else use weed for Fibromyalgia pain? Your thought on this are much appreciated. Thanks
  13. Hello everyone, I am new here. I found this wonderful site while i was searching for info about Cymbalta withdrawal and i feel so much better, just for finding it!! I stopped taking my 60mg Cymbalta two days ago because my insurance wont cover it and my dr has not been too helpful/attentive about switching me. I missed my apt on monday and ran out. and now i am trying to work full time dealing with EXTREME agitation brain zaps, body pain, etc. So i am thankful for finding this place I am 21 years old and new on my journey to find out what can help me (meds, therapy, etc.) and i have been having a lot of trouble. Although taking the Cymbalta has deffinately helped my fatigue and depression, my anxiety is thru the roof. I have a family history of various mania, BPD, and panic/ GAD. Honestly, i feel like a loony bin right now. mostly because of the withdrawals. MY dr told me that because of fam history, i am prone to early mania presenting itself at this time.. but I heard benadryl and 5-HTP, COQ-10, B6, and Omega-3s can help so i will look into that and continue reading the boards for now, before i go back to my dr and tell him something is veryy wrong. Any input is greatly appreciated too Anyway, thats who the hell i am. Thanks for reading
  14. Hi, clearly I am new to this site.... I have never really been good at introducing myself maybe because I have a hard time reflecting on who I am as a person. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, and Depression, I also binge eat and I use to cut a lot. I have an anger issues I use it to deflect my true feelings. I feel like I don't know who I am I have a good idea but I feel like I don't really take time for myself. I grew up in a house with a drug addict and alcoholic mother and a food addicted father they did the best they could..... I say this to myself so I can forgive them, they could of tried harder.... anyways I am 24 years old I don't have a job, I stopped going to college and I feel hopeless lately.... I have a partner who is addicted to prescription drugs its hard for me at times because I feel like they choose the drugs over me also it reminds me of my childhood a lot.... I want friends badly but I feel like I am a boring person who is depressed and gets overwhelmed easily so who would want to be friends with me is usually what I am thinking. I love Magick and anything "other worldly" I get depressed when I read a great book or watch a great movie cause when its over I have to face reality that it is not my life. I feel like there is more to life then getting an education, slaving at a job you hate, saving money and then growing old just to die.... I AM A DREAMER! I try to fix things a lot I think I do this because I could never fix my mother who rejected me at every turn because I would call her out for being high and drunk. I am insecure, a beautiful disaster if you will. Coming out as queer helped my depression a lot I stopped hating myself for being different but it didn't last very long, I wouldn't say I hate myself I just don't like myself very much and I don't like where my life is going. I want to change, I want to be different but I don't know where to start. I consume myself with trying to help my partner when I am just as sick as they are, I feel trapped in this cycle of doing nothing day after day after day. I want to break free from this never ending cycle of doom but how can I do that if that person I share my life with is just as sick if not more than I am? I love them with all my heart I want share the rest of my life with this person, but how do we help each other when we are both so lost? We both had difficult childhoods with parents who didn't really give a fuck or just stopped trying so we basically raised one another, it has been hell trying to get by when we only know how to help our-self's so much. So now you know a little bit about me....
  15. Hi folks, First post here, so hello to everyone. The purpose of this post is just to get out all the stuff that's been floating in my head for years and that I've been bearing primarily on my own. I guess the question I'm asking is, after reading everything below, what would you recommend I do next in seeking recovery? This will be long, but I've made an effort to include only information that feels pertinent - I've left only the biggest issues. I also have put spoiler tags around things that might be "triggery" for those with anxiety. I know I hate reading other people's symptoms because they tend to be "contagious" for a couple hours! 1. Overview of when Anxiety started The anxiety issues I'll describe below started with a singular event in late 2008 of high stress + low sleep + marijuana use (which I was experienced with at the time). I essentially had what I later learned to be a multiple-hour-long panic attack. I've never experienced anything similar since (although with my first use of marijuana at 14 years old, I had a massive freakout that I would call a panic attack in retrospect). I had close to zero experience with anxiety at that time, and began obsessing over how I could feel so awful and whether the marijuana had somehow caused brain damage/made me into a permanent basket case. Turns out this was the worst idea - I started Googling and began worrying more and more about mental illness and whether I had developed something as a result (of course, this was all just waiting to come out one way or another). Things progressed from that point as described below. 2. My bizarre symptoms I'm writing this primarily because I think I have some very odd symptoms - I don't really want to ask "is this normal!?" because that's just more frantic searching. I'm posting it more as a log for my own sake, and hopefully something that other anxious Googlers can run across and realize they're probably fine (although I'm not sure if I'm "fine"). If something jumps out as "PLEASE GET HELP!", please let me know (and provide a reason why), and I will do so. I would appreciate comments that back up what I'm experiencing as somewhat normal, or at least that I'm not progressing to some other, worse mental illness. These are from currently most troubling to least troubling: - Retroactive jealousy: I find it very difficult to not think about my girlfriend's past sexual relationships while we're being intimate. It's quite troubling, and I know this doesn't happen to "normal" people - they can just move on and chalk it up to "being in the past". She's very faithful to me, so it's nothing to do with the present. It's just nearly impossible for me to get over this thought pattern. - Trouble with work: I got a well-paying job early this year (2012) that is in a field I'm interested in. I was freelancing previously, so I lost a lot of freedom. I regularly am overcome with sadness and nervousness about "losing so much of my life", and think very negatively about the situation in general at times. It's like I can't get over the notion that I could be working on my own and making money. The fact is, I need to stay with this job and have a reliable source of income - I have a lot of debt to take care of. It just turns into this monolithic, frightening thing every morning when I get up to go into work - it's like the world is ending and I'm being forced into slave labor. Heh! - I'm constantly monitoring my thought patterns. This might not sound so bad, but it's exhausting. I believe the reason for this is my fear deeply-ingrained "mental illness hypochondria". This "mental illness hypochondria" comes and goes, but tends to focus around bipolar/schizophrenia. It's really difficult because if I start feeling better, I start wondering if I'm "cycling manic" and get terrified that I'll turn into a monster and spend all my money/cheat on my gf (which I have urges to do regularly, but have not - I think this is normal for a early-20s male though, to some degree, as long as I keep it in check). So, if my thinking seems "off" at all (e.g. if I notice that people are looking at me, I'll have a "pseudoparanoia" where I am not actually worried that they're following me, but I'm worried that I will be worried that they're following me which would indicate some sort of paranoid schizophrenic ideation). I could go on and on with this mental illness hypochondria definition, but what it really comes down to is me sort of obsessively monitoring my thought patterns to determine if I'm losing it. - Fear of having violent / angry outbursts. I pride myself in the fact that I'm mild-mannered and handle arguments generally quite well. I'm logical and fair and don't blow up at people for expressing their views, etc. But for whatever reason, I have been getting flashes of fear that I will violently outburst and hurt my girlfriend or someone close to me. I know this is a typical symptom for anxiety, normally chalked up to OCD. But I do really dislike this one quite a bit - I cringe at the thought of hurting someone, but I have been getting surges of annoyance along with it which is new. However, this seems to be more "pseudoannoyance", almost as if my brain is tricking me into thinking that I am annoyed and that the annoyance could cause me to lash out. I know I'm not more irritable in general because when truly annoying/stressful things happen, I keep calm and collected (for the most part - stressful things can get me hyperventilating, but I never feel angry or violent from stressful things). 3. What I've done so far as treatment Therapy: - I've seen a few therapists, but never proceeded very far in any CBT methods. - Most therapists seemed to not have much experience with the symptoms I described above, which generally made me feel ostracized/misunderstood and somewhat like I was "too crazy for them". - I was recommended to a psychiatrist, but never went. I am very against drugs currently, but I am open to my mind being changed if the evidence presents itself well. Medication: - I was prescribed alprazolam (Xanax) about a year and a half ago. I have a prescription for 30 x 1mg/month, but literally never take them unless I just feel like chilling out hardcore for an evening (I always tend to have some baseline anxiety, so xanax is the only true 100% escape I have. However, I usually get depressed the next day so it's not without it's downsides. I'm also committed to never getting addicted to it.) - I've refused SSRIs/SNRIs on the basis of side effects. I feel they would cause more anxiety as I am very acutely aware of my body and would be over-analyzing every side effect, terrified that it would make me feel worse. Diet: - I generally eat healthy - lots of veggies and fruit when possible, and I try to get a decent bit of fish - I get a little upset about this one because a lot of my friends are poor and eat really crappily but seem just fine. I've eaten very well my whole life (health nut mother), so I always think "well why would I need to eat better if they're doing just fine!?" Exercise: - I've attempted to exercise, but really suck at committing to things. I'm in young, and toned, but not in particularly good cardiovascular shape. - I'm sure this is just my brain screwing with me again, but when I started lifting weights / running I felt like I was getting more irritable with my girlfriend, so I stopped. - Same logic applies as with diet - many of my friends are healthy and happy and don't exercise, so why would I need to? I was a competitive swimmer for 8 years when I was younger, so I do have a history of being very physically fit. 4. Further avenues to explore Therapy: - I would need a good recommendation, but someone who identifies my symptoms and can immediately understand where I'm coming from would be imperative. Otherwise, I don't want to waste my time and money. - I've found the very best method for combating any symptom to be Claire Weeke's method: floating through. What this amounts to is basically just sacking up and letting whatever terrible thoughts/anxiety come. It's not comfortable, but it tends to shorten the duration and I feel it makes me stronger (which is most important). Part of me repulses the idea of therapy because it basically puts the magnifying glass over something that is a figment of my imagination anyway - why scratch the itch and possibly make it worse? Medication: - I'm still researching whether more "natural" medication such as SAMe/5-HTP might be effective and have much less chance of side effects. I would be much more open to one of these drugs than to a typical SSRI/SNRI. - Xanax is working very well as a "last resort" drug. I always, always have 1mg on me just in case I something seems insurmountable. This has never happened so far - I've been able to power through everything and avoid taking the xanax. I would view myself as failing (and more importantly I feel it would set a precedent in my mind that I "got to the point where I HAD to have a xanax" which would establish the anxiety as something that is monolithic in it's power, and I'd be worried of developing a habit and eventually getting addicted). Diet: - I could improve my diet in some ways, but I find it very stressful trying to organize my eating habits in this way. Exercise: - I know exercise is good for mental illness, but I'm concerned still about the irritability I noticed. One of my bigger fears is that I will become rude and "testosteroney" and destroy the relationship with my girlfriend or make her feel really crappy but she'd stay with me. I am very frightened of being a crappy person in general, so I keep a close check that I'm not being rude. I feel there's a demon inside me, to some extent, and if I don't keep myself poised and aware I will snap at people and be a huge jerk. Alright, questions/comments very much welcome. I've detailed most of he last two years of my experience with this. I am particularly wondering if this sounds like anything other than GAD? Does anyone have similar experiences and have you found anything helpful other than just "powering through"? Also of particular interest is getting rid of this "retroactive jealousy" - I really don't want my hangup on something in the past to cause relationship issues. Thanks for anyone who read this far - I very much appreciate it!
  16. So I met with a new psychiatrist today who wants to eventually pull me off of Klonopin. She doesn't want to start yet, as I relapsed into a state of complete dysfunction not too long ago and haven't pulled myself out of it, but she does want to get me off of the drug. While this may seem like a good idea, I have severe GAD/PD, and I'm not sure if this is such a great idea, but her rationale was that benzodiazepines will only make anxiety worse in the long run if used chronically and not on an as-needed basis. I've read about this happening, and while Klonopin doesn't have the same efficacy it once did (I've been on it for some five years at 3mg/day from the get-go and tolerance has set in), I haven't noticed that my anxiety is any worse due to taking it. I suppose I'm all for getting off the drug if she can taper correctly without leaving me with severe withdrawal symptoms as I've read the whole experience can be horrendous. I recently, well, six months ago, went through pregabalin/Lyrica withdrawals after a taper and it was the worst thing I have been through in my entire life. Suggestions? Find a new doctor? Is she right? Stay on Klonopin for life to avoid withdrawals even if I'm not getting the benefit I once was? BTW, she is starting me on Lamictal along with the SSRI I'm taking as she says that Lamictal helps stabilize anxiety in certain patients via minimal GABAergic activity and anti-glutaminergic (NMDA antagonist) activity. She says that if Lamictal fails to provide sufficient anxiolytic relief on its own, that memantine can be used as an augmenting agent. Her long-term goal is to get me off the SSRI or to greatly reduce the dose, and get me completely off the benzo, allowing only for PRN use. Addendum: I'm a little worried about the potential sexual sides of Lamictal. Even though it's touted to not be deleterious in this regard, my sexual functioning is really impaired due to the SSRI. I'm not even sure Lamictal is the best choice for anxiety - if I were to choose an NMDA antagonist, I'd rather be taking memantine/Namenda over lamotrigine/Lamictal because there have been studies showing memantine's efficacy in treating anxiety-spectrum disorders and I haven't found any re: Lamictal and anxiety.
  17. Hello, new here and hoping someone might be able to offer advice on medication resistant GAD. My main dx's (since 2004) are GAD and depression; the GAD is giving me major problems. My main problem is extremely bad brain fog-short term memory problems have cost me jobs and are threatening to halt my attempt to start a college degree; depression from a parent's passing has made this even worse. I have been seeing various pdoc/tdocs since 2004 and am on .5-1 mg of klonopin 1x/day. Given that I've taken up to 3mg/day of klonopin, I am extremely concerned about its effects on memory and would like to slowly taper off this med. I'm also on 88mcg of Synthroid (borderline hypothyroid, dx 2011). Over the course of eight years, I have tried all the major families of meds with these results: Tricyclic and tetracyclic ADs/SNRI's killed any motivation I had to to do anything; SSRIs: largely the same w/little improvement; AAPs (Serequel), extremely sedating at 25mg w/no improvement Neurontin: knocked me out at 600 mg; Lamictal: no effect Wellbutrin, Viibryd: agitiating; worsened GAD Modafinil (for focus): no effect I am considering ADD meds, even though I've had neurospych testing w/o that dx. My concerns (as well as my current and former pdoc's) are that most of the ADD meds (Adderall,etc.) would be far too agitating. I'm thinking about valproic acid; my pdoc has mentioned Abilify at low (2-5mg) dose would help,but given my med record, what would I take it with? I have heard some good reports about Deplin; I'm also going to look into Cytomel. I'm taking one class twice a week and it is a major struggle to accomplish any work. I am scared to death that nothing will work medwise. Any help would be very much appreciated.
  18. I liken my day to day living with bipolar disorder and several other mental illnesses as being traveling down the road in the car with them, each fighting to take over the wheel. They never let me drive. Bipolar Mania speeds out of control at over 100 miles an hour, darting in and out of traffic, constantly distracted by billboards and the occasional sportscar, always out of control. Bipolar Disorder is always somewhere in the front seat. While driving recklessly, this disorder often gets pulled over or in an occasional accident. At that very moment my anxiety disorder kicks in. Gone is the self assurance and larger then life feeling of moments ago only to be replaced by a racing heartbeat, shortness of breath and underlying fear goone out of control. All the while this is happening I am locked in the truck with no control of the situation, trapped in my own body with a mind gone mad. Let’s see. So far I have mentioned my Bipolar Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and whatever the “normal” me is (locked in the trunk) Traveling with the group is PTSD and ADHD. The ADHD is constant, not allowing me to focus on anything for a long period of time, my short attention span and complete inability to take things apart and put them back together again (correctly). PTSD stays in the back only to fight for the wheel when something triggers it along the road. A billboard, child walking down the street, almost anything from my past. The whole concept of this analogy is to make the point that each disorder, even if not in the foreground in control is still in the vehicle. They are always with me. They never leave but are tried to be kept in control by medication and Psychotherapy. I don’t want much out of life and am thrilled that I can walk, talk and most often function. All I ask is that they stop constantly switching drivers. And perhaps occasionally they allow me to drive. I did in fact neglect to mention the down side of my Bip[olar Disorder, Depression. This is simply because although in the car, when in a depressed state we never leave the garage.
  19. Hello, i'm really wondering why there are not many threads on Lyrica in here. whatever... i would be really glad if someone with lyrica experience could explain these to me. i started Lyrica 100mg (50mg-0-50mg) 3 days ago and for the first two days it felt really good. no panic or social anxiety what so ever and i was also kind of euphoric. so here are my questions 1.is the euphoric stuff just an initial (side) effect that happens in the first days? 2.is it possible that lyrica starts after days or weeks or so and i'm actually not yet feeling the actual benefits i'm supposed to geet from it? (THE IMPORTANT QUESTION). i know the studies say it works after 1-4 weeks or whatever but i need personal experience. i dont believee those guys 3. Is lyrica any good for non anxiety related restlessness and agitation? i i have not so well confirmed diagnoses of bipolar and possibly some psychosis. i'm also on zyprexa and valproic acid thanks for reading cheers bear
  20. Hello everyone, nice to meet you in cyber city. I am here for support and to give my support to others going through similar illnesses as mine: bi-polar disorder, panic attacks and GAD, as well as severe fall out symptoms such as major apathy, isolation, food issues due to Seroquel(I am now on Geodon) etc. I was dx'd with bi-polar disorder in 1998 and I finally gave in due to extreme stress and hospitalization after hospitalization over the years and I applied for disability. I was fortunate enough to receive it on my first application. But I suppose that also tells me I have a pretty bad case. I've learned to just be grateful and stop worrying about 'looking normal.' I mean who the heck is normal really anyway. So, it's nice to meet you all......
  21. Names Olivia but I prefere olive, liv, or via. I think this sites really cool so I had to join. Its like facebook for the mentally troubled:D I'm very friendly but not good at being open with the people I trust which is usually why I come to sites like this; Its like practice.. I injoy quiet evening and long walks on the beach. (I'm joking. Walking sucks.) Anyway I tagged what brought me to this site in the 'topic tag' thingy. I'll get to know people here very soon. Please strive to do the same for me even if I hesitate.
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