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Found 546 results

  1. This question is mainly for parents of younger kids. My daughter is four. Ever since she was born I have never felt like the time I spend with her is enough... which I'm sure is a common worry among parents. Especially new parents. I know this is largely due to my severe anxiety and I just thought I would ask how other parents do things. Today I: spent 20-30 minutes playing dolls with her, we went to the library and checked out some children's books and a dvd, we picked up a snack and came home and watched the movie together. This is about the norm of time spent focused solely on her/activities with her. I try and do one activity a day, but even writing this out it just doesn't feel like it's enough. The rest of the time when I'm trying to get things done she asks me to play all day long and complains of being bored. Which immediately gives me guilt/anxiety and makes it hard to get anything done. I do include her in tasks around the house but that is just a few minutes here and there. I also make bedtime a priority and spend a lot of time reading her books/singing songs/talking about the day before she goes to sleep. I just wish the rest of the time I could feel okay about focusing on other things instead of being overwhelmed with all the guilt/anxiety and feeling like I'm being a bad mom. It's worse when I'm just relaxing or on the computer (like right now). Sorry for the constant posts/blogs on this topic... I'm having more anxiety than usual lately.
  2. I'm having a freak out about school. I made a major life change a few months ago & decided to not return to the workforce and go back to school. I lost my job (that I loved but was stressed out about) in May b/c of MI problems. I have gone to school off and on over the years and this is my first time back in 7 years. I dropped out and withdrew from classes frequently due to my manias, depressions, GAD, and substance abuse. This time around I am sober, medicated, sticking with therapy, and educated about my MI. I'm having self doubt about whether or not I can really do this. I'm so afraid of failure and am experiencing a lot of anxiety b/c of all of the pressure that I am putting on myself. Pressure about success, and feeling I can't succeed b/c of my MI. Feeling like I am not good enough. I feel like I am letting the fact that I am mentally ill get to me and bring me down. Looking at it as a weakness instead of remembering how strong I am b/c of my experiences with it and by overcoming so many obstacles to get to where I am at now. When my anxiety gets high in situations like this I tend to stagnate...which makes me fall behind...self sabotage occurs. Anyone else experience anything similar to this? I take Klonopin PRN btw for anxiety.
  3. I have been in a relationship with a great man for two and a half years now. Despite his good qualities and the fact that we both love each other, I have been struggling with doubts and thoughts like "am I just forcing myself into liking him? Are we really a terrible mismatch?" And the reason that I've been so unsure is that every time we get together, this uncomfortable, weird feeling of stress and anxiety creeps up on me and it lasts until we go our seperate ways again, causing me to believe that something about him is "toxic" or that this is a result of my subconsious trying to warn me and tell me that deep down, I know that he's not right for me. I've googled this alot, spoken to therapists, friends and so on, but everyone keeps telling me that they think I am overly sensitive (wich i probably am) and they all seem surprised that I have suffered from this dreadful anxiety for such a long time when, to them, it's so obvious that my boyfriend is the one causing it. Like, how can I possibly consider staying with this man when I can't even watch a movie with him without getting a headache from all the stress that's going on inside of me? I know I'm kind of a masochist here, but the thing is, a part of me believes that I would feel like this with every man in the world and that the problem lies within myself. I guess I should add that I had a pretty bad childhood. I grew up in a very unsafe enviroment where I couldn't trust anyone and I didn't feel loved. My mom is an alcoholic and my father wasn't around. But I just think it's weird that when I spend time with my parents (the ones who gave me the bad childhood), I feel completely at ease, but when I'm with my great and loving boyfriend, I get so anxious. It seems unfair. He is the only one who makes me feel that way, but behind all of the negative emotions, there are so many good things that I simply refuse to let him go. Also, I have always been quite the love addict, I guess it's pretty obvious that I'm trying to make up for what I lacked as a child. I'm in therapy atm, working on my childhood traumas and depression and already I can feel a new sensation of independence and growing self worth, but still I get all anxious about my boyfriend. So, I'm wondering what this looks like to you. Is that anxious feeling I only get around him, rOCD? And do you have any advise on what to do about it? Thank you so, so much in advance.
  4. Am I on the right meds? I have bipolar/ADD, I have been to three psychiatrist and they don't actually give me a specific diagnosis. I tried antipsychotic medications didn't work. I tried Lamictal, it made me very flat, antisocial, monotone and caused bad acne. Seroquel and Saphris were both horror meds and basically f***ed me up. The only thing that worked was Adderall, so we eventually removed all the other medications (my doctors unaware and unsympathetic of all the withdrawal symptoms that occurred to which they didn't understand) After a while on the Adderall XR and dose changes from 20mg - 25mg - 30mg. It was making me feel very jittery and the come down wasn't pleasant at all. Then we went to IR Adderall, started with 10mg 2x a day then do 7.5mg 3 x a day. The IR worked much better and stabilized my mood But it wasn't lasting very long...a couple of hours at tops, so in between doses I would get irritable, have racing thoughts and be unmotivated. We then also added Ativan, as at this time I had lost my job, pretty much my friends and was alone, unmotivated being worried about useless things and scared to get a job. I was self-sabotaging myself. The Ativan which is 0.5mg, helps me and my doctor said it's fine to take 1 every day. Which I feel bad about, there have been times when I've taken it in the morning and in the evening I have anxiety again and my doctor said it's fine to take another one some days if I need it. I just don't want to be dependent on it as I have previously had withdrawal symptoms from both Gabapentin and Lamictal and Ambien which were horrific. So we decided to go to Vyvanse - which I'm only on 30mg right now, I explained to my pdoc that I checked and 30mg seemed only equivalent to 10mg Adderall (which I was taking 22.5mg a day) but she still wanted me to give it a shot. It was fine for a few days, my depression wasn't as bad, my thoughts weren't racing and I was doing stuff. But then the past week or so I've been oversleeping. Taking naps during the day, been unmotivated, tired and hopeless. I don't know what to do, my doctor said she was going to give me a higher dose of Vyvanse, so hopefully that will be better and I'm still taking the Ativan when I need it. Any advice would be appreciated...
  5. I'm finally tapering my dose of Citalopram (Celexa) to switch to Sertraline (Zoloft). I was on 40mg, now cut to 20mg for a week, having 2 'wash out' days of no meds providing im not screwed up & then starting Sertraline at 50mg. Since it's my first time changing medication, what sort of things should I expect from a) coming off Citalopram & b) Zoloft? Any tidbits of knowledge will be useful or any coping strategies for if/when things go south x
  6. Hello everyone I am desperate need of some advice. I suffer from social anxiety, panic, GAD, depression and binge eating/emotional eating. I was on Effexor XR x75mg for about 7 years. I was fine until about year 4 of use when it started to cause extreme teeth grinding and clenching out of no where. I tried switching medications to Pristiq.. still grinded/clenched... tried switching to Cymbalta.. grinding and clenching continued. I also added BuSpar into the mix.. did not help. I went off of my meds for about 4 months and the grinding and clenching all but went away. However the severe anxiety and binge eating returned. Doctor has me trying Celexa for the last 5 days. Binge eating and anxiety is gone however i am still experiencing teeth grinding and clenching, acid reflux, severe out of it feeling with fatigue, i will also loose track of time or "zone out" for hours on end, no energy etc. I have taken Ativan (Lorazepam) on occassion and it has not caused teeth clenching/grinding. What medication do i try if all SSRI & SNRI cause teeth grinding/clenching and benzo's are only good for a short while? This is horrible I dont know what to do! I am also terrified of weight gain from SSRI/ SNRI as i gained 50+ pounds on Effexor. HELP
  7. I can see you all. I'm here. Why won't anybody tell me whats going on? When i think about death or dying I imagine myself sitting on the outside. I'm not realy there. Classic Mr. Scrooge
  8. I've had bad anxiety & depression since January this year. Some days I can manage me anxiety, others I can't even leave my house or room. I often get bad anxiety in public places, I almost had a panic attack in a supermarket last night because my anxiety was so bad. What i wanted to use this post for was to get some tips for myself, and others, about how to control anxiety, particularly in a public place? I'd really appreciate the help, I honestly have no clue :/
  9. I have a plethora of mental issues going on (depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder), and currently I'm on Adderall and Lamictal. I don't have ADD or ADHD; I was sleeping 12-16 hours a day and the Adderall has been a lifesaver. I take 30mg Adderall XR and 150mg Lamictal a day. I've been on the Lamictal for maybe five-ish months and the Adderall for probably two months, after trying so many other medications over the course of about 7 years. I have a few major concerns that I feel could be related to my medication. To put it bluntly, I have no desire to do anything or even wake up. I sit around for hours doing nothing, just thinking about how stressed and unhappy and utterly useless I am. I feel like I'm wasting away. I am no longer interested in anything that I used to be. Its different than my normal depression, though. It's more empty. I also have NO creativity anymore. This started soon after starting the Adderoll. I used to be into photography, writing, knitting, etc. Now I can't think of anything to take pictures of, write, or knit (not that I can really knit more than a rectangle, anyway). I can't even think of things to doodle, what to do with my evenings, or what to do for a card for my dad for fathers day. I just feel like my creativity is completely gone. Last but not least, I think I've gotten less intelligent. Maybe thats not quite it, but I'm having so much trouble with stuff like retaining easy information and simple math (and I'm a math nerd). I'm also having trouble recalling information, and I find it hard to come up with an intelligent response to anything. I just can't find the words. I'm going back to college in a few weeks and I am so scared that I won't be able to do it. To sum it up, I feel like I'm wasting away and all of my good qualities are diminishing- and I think it might be my medication. Any thoughts would be SO incredibly appreciated.
  10. so the last few nights or so I've been waking up randomly feeling energized and awake. I've only had these sleep interruptions a handful of times and typically last a few days to a few weeks. I am waking up in a better mood rather than wanting to chop the head off the person that is waking me up or bawling my eyes out bc I really don't want to get out of bed. I was getting ready for bed last night and felt happy but was having a panic attack. I still am not sure what it was caused by, but I know I was having one. Then today I was getting ready and noticed that I want to spend money. I posted before about wanting to spend money and being able to talk myself out of it. I have been spending money that I usually wouldn't be. I want a detangling comb bc mine pulls my pulls my hair. I want black shoes bc I don't have any. I want, I want, I want.... and if I can justify that I need it ie. bc my comb pulls my hair. I will buy it. I've talked myself out of buying it for months now, but I had to have it. Its getting worse too...
  11. Hi, this is my first post so please be gentle. I'm wanting some feedback on medications really, have you guys had any success with the SSRI/SNRI medications for OCD racing thoughts, anxiety, agitation, etc? If so which meds? I've tried a whole bunch (Paroxetine/Paxil, Sertraline/Zoloft, Venlafaxine/Effexor, Citalopram/Celexa) with absolutely no benefits whatsoever. I've had bad side effects from some but without a doubt ALL of them made me more agitated, restless, anxious and so on. As much as I believe I have a good doctor I am running out of patience, all he wants to do is switch from one SSRI to another. I feel my main issue is anxiety not depression and I'm starting to feel the idea that anti-depressants can cure anxiety is a myth, UNLESS the anxiety is actually secondary to depression itself. Anyone care to argue differently?
  12. Hello All, I am Ryxi and I have absolutely no idea what all to put here. I have been diagnosed with a ton of different issues and am currently back under the care of a psychiatrist/therapist/case manager. I don't want to get too personal, but I come from a large family that wants nothing to do with me because of these issues. I have lost all of my children from these issues. I am currently living with an ex-boyfriend (we are still great friends) just so I can get some kind of support while I deal with all of this. I am new to any kind of site like this, as this is really my first time really reaching out to anyone, other than my doctors and stuff. Well, I guess if you want to know more about me, feel free to ask away. My therapist encourages me to talk about everything as much as possible so that I can stop being a victim and move on with my life.
  13. I was at work tonight, having a very light evening when that demon inside my brain started attacking me again. It started its seductive whisper about killing myself, and when that didn't work, it seemed to grow in size and threaten me. I'm now medicated enough and aware enough to know that this monster is really a tiny little creature masquerading as a giant monster. I was able to fend it off, but it took some effort. The problem is, while my meds are great, they make me feel tired all the time. I'm now taking B Complex to give myself energy and ward off the crazy talk that crops up any time I feel weak, but between working odd hours, having money problems, not having nearby emotional support and getting ridiculous phone calls from my parents where they want attention that they don't deserve and I'm not up to giving (tonight I left my phone home and found out later that my Alzheimer's-ridden father who was emotionally abusive to me wanted to talk this afternoon- I feel like I dodged a bullet; earlier this week it was my narcissist mom who wanted to play mind games by pretending she was dying), I feel like i'm under siege. Sometimes I want to die or pretend to be completely gaga so I can check into a hospital, just to make this merry-go-round stop for a few minutes. While my boyfriend is great, he's too far away to give me all the soothing I need, and doing things like getting into bed and rocking gently for hours isn't always practical or desirable. Drinking Sleepytime Tea and meditating? They're great, but I can't fall asleep at work, and i can only meditate for a few moments at a time while I'm at work. Exercise isn't always practical either (although the other night I gave my feet an awesome massage under my desk, and did leg swings to pump up my heart rate). From those of you who are doing everything right, or trying to (taking your meds, not using illegal drugs or alcohol, working or volunteering, trying to get sleep, pursuing hobbies, eating right, being mindful), how do you defeat the monster or hold it at bay? How do you self-soothe in a healthy fashion?
  14. Well I've onyl just joined this site and so interested to find this many other people who can't sleep properly! I don't know what is up with me but I haven't been able to fall asleep properly for as long as I can remember. I sleep very lightly and it takes me hours to fall asleep. For the past 5 or 6 years I have been feeling extremely anxious as I'm trying to fall asleep and keep thinking about bad things that could happen or the 'dangerous' situations I put myself in that day (for example driving my car) - this jerks me awake and my thoughts are racing. Once I am finally asleep I almost always wake approx 30 minutes later and I'm wide awake not feeling tired atall. I go to the loo and try to rest again and finally drop off. Throughout the night I wake approx 5 or 6 times and feel the need to empty my bladder before I can drop off again. This is so uncomfortable to have to keep getting up and out of bed as I have trapped nerves in both my lower back (for the last 7 years) and my neck (last 6 months). When it comes round to 6 or 7am and I am woken I really feel like I'm in a deep sleep and getting some good rest and hate to be woken up - I don't feel refreshed atall and my eyes are so sore. This is all quite serious to me and I'd like to try and find some help to sort it out. On a more amusing note - I wear glasses during the day and take them off to sleep and when I wake during the night I can still see them round the sides of my eyes! This is a bit annoying and freaky (but still funny I suppose). Any help or advice here?
  15. So I'm new around here, I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Sophie, I'm 19 & from the UK. I'd say I'm fairly easy to get on with though I can get a little irritable sometimes, just cyber-punch me & I should stop that quickly though. Ive had depression on & off since I was 13, currently I've had 'severe' depression & anxiety since January this year. I've tried counselling at my university, that seemed to have no effect on my whatsoever. I spoke to my GP in June who diagnosed me & prescribed me with 20mg of Citalopram, this was increase to 30mg & has now been increased again to 40mg. I'm waiting to see if this latest increase actually starts working... Lately I've had an interesting phenomenon where I keep switching to a strange hyperactive, restless & jittery mindset, its been described to me as acting 'manic'. My GP currently doesn't think I'm bipolar, but agrees it would be useful to keep a track of that. A tad concerning. I joined this site to find support of some sort & maybe some tips on how to survive being crazy. So, Hi!
  16. So I've been vomiting at random times, pretty much without any warning. Usually, it has been in the middle of the night and at home. It's acid reflux, and I've noticed that if I take fluoxetine without eating anything, I'm going to feel sick, and well most likely, vomit. Only thing is, the last time I vomited (While back now, to be fair) was in public, at a concert, which resulted in me having to explain to them that I had a medical condition, that I hadn't known it was going to happen and that there was no way I could have avoided it happening, and having to say about twenty five times that I was not on drugs, or drunk...and in the end, I got kicked out, partly for the vomiting, partly for getting frustrated with the guys six million questions. I have a feeling it may have been due to the Chinese food I'd eaten before at the buffet, and the fact I ended up walking across the city in a heat wave from the restaurant to the O2 place, because somebody thought that that was a brilliant idea. And we also had to walk back after getting halfway there because said person decided they didn't need there handbag, before remembering the tickets were in there. I'm being taken off the stomach protectors, which lets be honest, weren't stopping me being sick much. However, whether it's because of something else, or whether it's because I'm off them, or maybe even because of anxiety, I'm beginning to feel nauseaos pretty quickly when eating, and well...I'm obviously eating less at meals, and I'm skipping them, out of anxiety that I will start to feel ill again. And it's really beginning to mean that I'm struggling to leave the house right now, in case I am sick again, in public. If anything, I just want the stomach protectors back on because it gave me some confidence that I had them. Guess it was mostly a placebo. But still...I have my suspects that a lot of this is caused by anxiety, or made worse by anxiety... Does that make sense? Could anxiety be making this worse, and be causing me to feel nauseous pretty quickly after eating, and avoiding eating?
  17. Hello. Amongst other things, I've recently been diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder. I've been put on Effexor as my daily medication, and Ativan/Lorazepam as what I take to calm me down when I'm having a panic attack or when I'm going into psychosis. Obviously, Ativan doesn't stop the psychosis, but it makes me calm enough to deal with it rationally. I've had no negative side effects with Ativan so far. Effexor, on the other hand, hasn't been great on me. I haven't gained any weight; in fact, I've lost some, so there's one positive. But I'm experiencing constant dizziness, I've blacked out about ten times, I often lose feeling in my limbs, and it doesn't seem to be helping me much with my anxiety. It did at first, which was why I was let out of the hospital, but now it doesn't have any effect in that way anymore. I don't want to tell my doctor, because if they know that everything is getting worse and the meds aren't helping, he'll probably send me back there again, and there's no way in hell that I'm going back. So, I'd like to hear others' opinions; should I just stop taking Effexor and rely entirely on Ativan, or are there negative side effects to that, too? Have you experienced anything similar on Effexor?
  18. Has anyone been treated with B-12 for their depression??? After months and months of fighting depression thinking I might be bi-polar I finally realized that I'm in top mental condition the 2 weeks following my b-12 shot and then I go to hell the next two weeks while waiting for my next shot. I want to try and convince my P-Doc to write me a script for a weekly b-12 shot. insurance pays 100% for it. (Otherwise I will go to a local clinic and pay 15 for it) I thought the Effexor was the miracle drug because I was amazingly happy and anxiety/stress/ocd/adhd free for the 2 weeks following my initial dose... and then BAM back in hell. Well, I just took another B-12 shot 2 days ago and I'm back on top of my game. I checked my journals and it's been like that since August when I started doing the B-12 shots. (I had a gastric bypass and malabsorb... my B-12 was 200 and from what I'm finding, those of us with mental issues should have a B-12 level at the 1000-2000 range) Hopefully someone on this board is familiar with this? I just want to know what the dosing is. I want to show up Saturday to my P-Doc appointment ready to plead my case. I want a weekly shot and not a monthly. If this is the reason my mind is all wonky then praise be.
  19. Hello, so I'm looking for some advice on medication. To start I've been on most every medication a Dr. can prescribe. Currently I take 40mg of Valium a day (Just switched from Klonopin), 30mg of Dexedrine a day, and 900mg of Neurontin. Doxepin is prescribed to me for Insomnia but doesn't do anything. My issue is I have horrible depression, but I can NOT take an antidepressant. I turn into a psychopath..well more of one lol. I've tried mostly all of the anti-depressants and they all screw me over. Does anyone know of any other medication that can help with Depression but is not an SSRI/SNRI/Trycilic or antidepressant? I've been on: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Remeron, Depakote, Lithium, Risperdal, Zyprexa, Seroquel, Abilify, BuSpar, Sonata, Klonopin, Adderal, Adderall XR, Concerta, Vyvanse, Atarax, Trazodone, Clonidine, Trileptal...and more. Anyways, If anyone has any suggestions on medication that could help my Depression. It is mostly caused by boredom, feeling like a loser because I have too much anxiety to do anything and I'm on SSI, I seem to find negativity in everything, my mood is all over the place which damages friendships and stuff, and in general have a constant feeling of hating life. PLEASE HELP!
  20. Hi my name is nothere I am in my 50’s. I am an adult survivor of child sexual/physical abuse. I have survived with lots of substance abuse, PTSD, depression, dissociation, paranoia, nightmares, phobias anger and Anxiety. I think I will have the BPD with a side order of DID please. Being crazy can be fun sometimes but it has it’s drawbacks. Like no friends. I had one good friend for over 30 years but he died yesterday. So today I am very hung over, sad and not here really. I need to get my shit straight. Just saying that makes me want to kick my own ass because I been saying that for 35 years. But today I sank into a new low place and it’s got kind of scary. So I called a crisis hot line but since I didn’t have a gun to my head they told me to go some ware else. So I looked around and found this web site. Looks like I can find some answers and/or direction here.
  21. I was not quite sure where to post this as I have multiple issues overlapping here, so I thought I would post it here since hallucinations can be a symptom of depression. Late Thursday night I was driving home from a friend's house, and I thought I heard my cellphone going off, but it wasn't. Usually, if I have an auditory hallucination, it's just someone saying my name. Anyway, the phone thing made me extremely anxious, so here I was driving home late at night, about 13 miles from home. The trip was hell. I kept trying to do breathing exercising and repeating mantras in my mind, but I couldn't calm down. I love to drive, but that was one of the worst driving experiences ever. To make matters worse, there was also thunder and lightning, which normally doesn't bother me, but when I'm anxious like that and feel like I'm on the verge of paranoia or panic, everything makes it worse. At the time, I was not even thinking about what was triggering my anxiety. It was not until I had a chance to reflect on the experience that I finally realized what set me off. Here is why the hallucinations bother me. My biological father was a paranoid schizophrenic, which means that there is a chance of becoming schizophrenic or bipolar, so I have developed a fear of mental illness, and considering the fact that I already have problems with depression and anxiety, it just makes matters worse. It’s even gotten to the point where I keep asking my therapist if I am bipolar, and she says no, so then I become paranoid, thinking that she is trying to hide the truth from me. I know my fear is irrational, but it needs to be addressed, and I feel like she doesn’t take that part seriously.
  22. Hi everyone. I've been on some "support forums" before but I like the sound of this one. Looking for a place where I can get some advice/different opinions that are not sugar coated. I am female in my mid 20's, live alone with 2 dogs and 2 cats, working full-time at a job I enjoy. I have been on antidepressants since I was a young teen, been on celexa for about 10 years now, varying doses. I have bouts of bad depression and bouts of okay-ness that last a few months at a time. My state of life doesn't affect it - ie. I would be just as depressed if I was a millionaire or broke. I have had good jobs and bad jobs and it doesn't make a bit of difference. What brings me here now is that in the past couple years I have been getting ANGRY which is a new thing for me. I feel especially angry at night. My patience is very low and the littlest things piss me off to no end. One of my dogs is quite young and she is full of shenanigans, and stuff she does in the morning or afternoon that wouldn't bother me much absolutely infuriates me at night. She gets a lot more yelling at and scruffings after dinner - and I don't want to cow her from over-disciplining just because I'm in a bad mood. It's not fair that I take out my bad mood on her. The worst part is that it feels like I get relief when I get mad. I know that getting mad at her doesn't do her much good training-wise and I like to use positive re-inforcement most of the time, but it's like blowing up is rewarding for ME so I keep doing it. Now when the sun goes down she walks around on eggshells and it breaks my heart. I don't want to be like that. It makes me think that if I can't even handle a dog what kind of wife or mother would I be. It makes me think I might be better off being alone forever. I honestly can't imagine why anyone would want me - for a wife, a mother, or in the dog's case, for an owner. Not looking for judgement. I know I can be an asshole to my dog but I'm not abusive, just not nice. She gets lots of love and quality time with me and the old dog too. It's just that when the dog gets hyper I get hyper, except I get hyped up in a negative way and I don't like it. Anyone have success keeping their anger at bay and learning to be peaceful? Like should I try yoga or meditation or something? One of my therapists seems to think that trying a different medication might be helpful, but I am TERRIFIED to try it. When I changed to celexa it was the worst time of my life until I got used to it.
  23. quick intro- 18 years old & have been in and out of therapy since the age of about 12. I don't remember ever being happy as a kid, but that's when depression started interrupting my ability to function daily. Since then, I've had 4 therapists, 3 psychiatrists, and tried prozac (6 months), lexapro (1.5 years) , wellbutrin (with the lexapro), & viibryd (6 weeks). The former two made me feel lethargic and groggy, while the latter two had no effect on my mood, though viibryd made me extremely nauseous. Also since then, I've moved schools three times and moved between living with each of my (divorced) parents twice. (they divorced shortly after i was born, and both remarried quickly. I went from an only child to having two older step-siblings and three younger half-siblings pretty abruptly. I have good relationships with everyone except my stepmom, who is vile, and my dad, whom i love very much but is as crazy as me.) I've been diagnosed with major depression, panic disorder, and social anxiety for years, but i was diagnosed with borderline only about a month ago. It fits, it explains some things, but it's still left me very confused about who I thought I was. Right now, I'm between therapists and meds. After six years, I'm starting to get really sick of going through this whole process over and over and not seeing any results. I've been cooperative in trying to get better- read the books, done the exercises, taken the pills, even willingly tried an outpatient program at a psychiatric ward. I'm exhausted. Would rather not do any of it anymore (not an option right now). My current psychiatrist is recommending that I next try effexor, pristiq, or abilify. thoughts? as far as my personality & interests, i'm a bit cynical, vegetarian (3 years), secular humanist, anti-privelage, cinephile, want to go to art school & become an illustrator. thank you.
  24. Hey everyone, just wanted to introduce myself. I'm 20 years old and have been dealing with health anxiety for a long time now. It usually manifests as an obsession over a symptom or problem area (which sometimes I produce myself by being scared of that symptom). It then takes over my life and ruins at least a good few months. I was prescribed Prozac a few years ago. It helped immensely, and after 1 year I weaned off of it with ease. About a year later the pattern began again. Initially I was prescribed Ativan, but it only made me worse in the end. Then I went about 8 torturous months without seeking help, refusing to admit I had relapsed, so to speak. I took Celexa this time, with absolutely horrific side effects, but kept taking it anyway. I was at 40mg for about a year, and now I'm at 20mg. SSRIs have been a lifesaver for me. But even so, I still have little troubles from time to time. I also take .5mg Clonazepam as needed. I have been doing quite well, but recently my brother had a sudden paranoid psychotic episode involving fugue, which was quite disturbing (he had never had any incident before). I think his official diagnosis is Bipolar? Not too sure, but he is taking seroquel, effexor, and lithium. I bring this up because I am starting to fear developing a psychotic disorder and it is quite troubling. My brother is doing better now (after 2 weeks in a psychiatric hospital). Occasionally he will ask me if I can read his mind and tells me he has a feeling that he can. It's really upsetting to see someone going through that, so if anyone has any experience or wouldn't mind talking about it, I'd appreciate that. Hope this wasn't too long. Thanks for reading!
  25. So I have been on Ativan 1mg x4 daily and no matter how much I take I feel no relief, I usually run out after a 2 weeks. Most say I'm on a lot but I don't feel that way. I still feel anxious and paranoid all the time. What's wrong with me!?
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