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I crave love and affection so bad I want to fall to my knees hug myself rock soothe myself and cry. I just... I feel insane. I have an unstable identity. I go from goth to emo to flapper (Me now) to lesbian to straight to bisexual to Christian to Pagan to Satanist to BLAH-and these are just off the top of my head there are plenty more where they came from-looking for it by fitting in with a group (Basically finding it in the group). I suffered from neglect my first 15 months of life by my emotionally unstable (Possibly bipolar) birth mom (I am now adopted). My therapist thinks this is the
I don't think an hour goes by in the day that I don't wish I was a little kid again. I know why at least. When I was 4, 5, 6.. my life was secure. My mom had it together. There was never any uncertainty about what the future was going to bring. Now, it seems like the only thing I have is uncertainty. About my mother. About if I'm going to be able to support myself. If I'm going to be able to find a job.. the list goes on and on. I just get so mentally exhausted of always worrying that my brain has made some kind of coping mechanism where I just mentally reminiss about what I would be doing rig
I was curious how many people have been separated from parents or someone else in your early childhood? I think it caused my BPD. It would explain a lot. I started seeing a counselor at age 10 at the recommendation of my teacher. This counselor said if I am ever diagnosed with problems my separation from my birth parents and previous neglect are most likely the cause. I am just curious if anyone else has been separated. I read it is a common history for those with BPD. In my signature is my story... revised.... very much revised. My full story is long but for anyone actually willing to read it