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  1. https://medicalxpress.com/news/2018-07-lack-molecule-severe-treatment-resistant-depression.html
  2. Heyup, I'm taking Vyvanse for my 20+ year treatment-resistant depression and it's working better than anything I've ever tried (the bad news is that the last 3-4 days it's losing its potency and/or taking longer to kick in, but that's another story). I am asking about its variable effectiveness since I also found it to vary even when it was still potent. E.g. Monday my mood would be 6/10 depression (10/10 is best mood) then Tues 4/10 then Weds 7/10. Anyone know why this variability happens? Anyone got any tips? FTR I'm on 150mg Brand Lamictal, Abilify 5mg, 15mg Percocet (
  3. Last night was scary for me. I felt a mood suddenly ink in and I think I may have been hallucinating or dissociating due to the anxiety I was experiencing. I actually saw out of the corner of my right eye a face that was letting out all the angst I was feeling. It was a tortured hideous expression, and as soon as it appeared, it disappeared and I could feel all those churning emotions inking back into me. Soo weird !!! Was this dissociation, am I now BiPolar, what in the heck happened to me? Never had this, this intense before. I was afraid of........ me. I could tell something ser
  4. Towards the end of August of this year and the beginning of this month, I was a bit manic, and then on 9/5/18, I saw my pdoc, and she put me on divalproex sodium ER (Depakote ER) 500 mg every morning and olanzapine (Zyprexa) 10 mg as needed for mania. Since starting the Depakote, I've already noticed that I am feeling rather flat and unmotivated, and that I'm slowly becoming depressed. It's been about four days into taking the Depakote, not long really, but I'm a little alarmed. A good friend of mine who's very knowledgeable with medications said that this is a very small dose, and I dedu
  5. I didn't realize this until I was reading another post, but here it is again, the first day of Fall in the US in two days. Already leaves are turning colors, falling, and the light outside is changing. Usually every change in season, I have one or two manic episodes. Last night had what I believe was my first manic episode in a long time. But last evening was scarier, all the typical symptoms of mania along with visual disturbances and sensations I had never experienced before. Left a vmail message on my psych docs line this morning thinking this is the smart thing to do, it usually takes a
  6. Finally came clean with my psych. I am sitting here with boxes of the same item (3) of this and that, that I ordered online and don't even remember I ordered these items. I increased my credit line on my credit cards so I could spend more. I find when I am up late at night I order, order, order and don't remember the next day what I ordered until I get an email that an item is coming. I can't leave my home due to panic and high anxiety. I have to stop spending or I am heading for bankruptcy. My psych doc just started me on Seroquel (1/2 of a 25 mg - very low dose due to sensitivities to
  7. I’ve been dealing with an episode of anxiety and depression since the beginning of January. Despite having had some similar episodes in the early 2000s, I was anxiety and depression free from 2008 until January. I have increase my Paxil dose to 40mg (I was on 30mg for the last 10 years) and I’ve added Lamictal. Just gotten up to the 100 mg range 3 days ago, so hopefully I will balance out soon! In my quest to feel better and get my life back on track, I started researching additional options and came across TMS. I had a consultation and managed to convince my insurance to cover 36 v
  8. After 2 months A/D-free, I am becoming symptomatic with depression again (crying jags, sad ruminations, feelings of hopelessness), I'm afraid I'll have to go back on something. I'm considering Cymbalta or Prozac, due to the longer half-life (compared to Effexor). Effexor helped, but it seems to have the worst withdrawal syndromes :-( I am heartbroken, I was doing so well the last 2 months without it. And A/Ds are definitely not a slam dunk for me (I've tried them all, they make me flat, anhedonic, lazy, and completely asexual at the therapeutic dosage) and Lamictal alone is not cutting it
  9. So, I guess this post is about how I can deal with this issue...My SO is on his iPhone 24/7, even while walking down the street, eating meals with me, and when we are watching TV or a film at home. I cannot get him to get off it! I look over his shoulder and its crap (not important stuff), like stupid memes, Twitter feed, sports scores. I've told him constantly that it really irritates me and makes me feel like I do not matter. I feel ignored. Yet he keeps going back on it. What else can I do??? Then I start going on my iPhone too, and this gets me depressed. I try to go out, and keep mys
  10. Tonight, a close friend hurt me very very deeply and it was done with intention and mean-spiritedness. She knew just how to push my button. As a knee-jerk reaction, I cut her off. I also went so far as to deactivate Facebook, Messenger, I blocked her phone, along with many others, to reach me. Then I went outside my door where I have a shelf for plants, and moved all of them inside my apartment, took down my wreath on my front door, no more welcoming messages. I am now officially cut off from everyone, and I don't care. I call this survival. People have been maliciously pi
  11. I want to try Nortriptyline again, but my psych doc is hesitant. He prescribed me Seroquel and Abilify but my pharmacist refused to fill them, advising not to take them together at my age (67). I used to take Pamelor for 30 years and where it did nothing for depression, it controlled anxiety, panic disorders and managed migraine. Waiting to hear back from my psych doc today if he will approve Nortriptyline. I need to sleep. I need something to help with agoraphobia, terrible anxiety and panic. Everything I take activates anxiety and panic. Leaving my home is a battle with fear.
  12. Does anyone have suggestions for great add-on meds (even natural options) for the chronic dysthymia & anhedonia that remain after Major depression episodes have subsided? Trying another round of Abilify now and if this doesn't work, will go back to a stimulant (any stim suggestions?) I feel like I'm running out of options that work for this condition without giving me worse/intolerable side effects than the condition itself. I am completely mired in this, can't move forward, and it's debilitating. Unfortunately, after trying about 30 meds, and making many positive healthy lifestyle ch
  13. Hi. Years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar II but after 6-7 years of messing with med cocktails I'm seriously wondering if I'm not just depressed and that's that. I've never had mania. Never had a "high". I definitely get depressed- and sometimes, when not medicated, I can get extremely irritable. My psychiatrist says that the irritability is my version of "mania" but I've never seen anyone else describe going through this or having this kind of bipolar. I've never seen this listed as the symptoms of bipolar anywhere. I don't fit the criteria of bipolar II that I've seen written anyw
  14. Since starting Wellbutrin last august i have felt fairly stable as far as my depression goes. I have felt normal and sometimes almost upbeat in a way that did not slip into euphoria. I started taking Ritalin last year or this year due to insurance issues with my nuvigil for narcolepsy. I also had a......traumatic?? life experience where I learned that my husband had cheated on me and may have gotten this girl knocked up. We are trying to work things out, and I've been dealing, but it is hard. It constantly plays through my mind. She is always between us. That had a big triggering effect on me.
  15. Apologies if this sounds a trivial issue but it's something causing me daily anxiety&blame and also something that puzzles the hell out of me. Why is taking a shower so damned hard? I can do other morning "chores" e.g. make breakfast, get dressed, brush my teeth relatively easily. Plus I know that showering : feels really good is necessary is actually enjoyable only takes minutes etc. I've tried various CBT techniques e.g. rate perceived v.s. actual difficulty, list pro's and con's and so on to no avail. The best I can come up with is "don't think ab
  16. Hi. I just started Vraylar today, we're trying it in place of Latuda, which doesn't seem to be doing anything for my BPII depression. Has anyone had any experience with Vraylar and depression? Looking forward to hearing everyone's experiences. Thanks.
  17. My apologies for the long post, I'll try to keep it as brief as possible. As the title says, I'm just picometers away from checking myself into a psych ward. I have shit going on in my life with my family that I'm just about done with trying to care about and mange. We have a live-in "stray" we picked up who is a mooch, a biggot, a homophobe (I'm gay), an a real class A ass hole. My friend and I and him got into a shouting match last night and he almost got violent with us. Of course, my mom, who is infatuated with him (and if I didn't know any better, is having an affair with him), hardl
  18. A while ago i had a moment when i was suicidal and i attempted its not like i had it too bad but i took my meds and wanted to get better and i wanted off of em cause it had been a while and who wants to stay on em and so i told my mom and she agreed with it and it was alright for a while but i had a breakdown and my mom put me back on them ( theyre zoloft btw) and i dont really have an outlet so im here and i wanted to know if it ever truly does get better.
  19. Greetings, I have been struggling with my Bipolar II depression for years, and am now going to pursue ECT due to my being medication resistant. I take 250mg/day of Lamictal (an anticonvulsant), 12mg/day of Valium, and an anti-depressant. I had a consultation with the ECT doctor, and he said that not only will my Lamictal make it difficult for him to induce a proper seizure, which I was already aware of, but that Valium, a benzodiazepine, also prevents seizures. I never knew that, but apparently paramedics use a benzodiazepine nose spray for people having seizures. So I got hit w
  20. Hi, everyone. This is my first post! I was diagnosed with atypical depression a while ago and was wondering if anyone else has been dealing with it. According to WebMD, one thing that differentiates atypical depression from melancholic depression is "mood reactivity" and it also is characterized by a "more intense reaction or increased sensitivity to rejection, resulting in problems with social and work relationships." I do have these issues and also have another thing on the list, which is "a feeling of being weighted down, paralyzed, or 'leaden'". Adderall often helps with this
  21. Has anyone here come to realize the moments when you are projecting in a relationship? By Projection, I mean the behavior where you do not accept your own thoughts, motivations, desires, and feelings as your own. These "unwanted" feelings or thoughts are dealt with by being projected / placed outside of yourself or attributed to someone else... I've noticed (as a chronically depressed, anxious, highly-sensitive person) that I have a habit of often projecting, and misinterpreting other's behavior as critical, unloving, uncaring, angry and disapproving...when in fact, these are the constant
  22. Hi everybody. I have been taking Agomelatine for 3 weeks (as an add on to Duloxetine). I don't feel any better. I feel sleepy and slightly more depressed and anxious. How much longershould I keep taking it? Or should I stop? What have others' experiences been? Thanks!
  23. I wish I had never been placed on it adjunctively for depression/anxiety. I was first embarrassed because it is classified as an antipsychotic. I was on the lowest dose for a few months. I gain about 15 pounds. I haven't been able to return to my pre-abilify weight. So frustrating.
  24. So far this year, I think I've missed 17 days of work. There was a time I missed four days of work in January. I wasn't on medication at the time. I just had a hard time finding a new psych doctor until a few weeks ago (prescribed 20 mg of Latuda). I would just wake up and sometimes if it was raining, just decide I wasn't going to work. I just didn't care if I got fired or not. There were even days that I didn't get paid for. How about coming home with only $200.00? Despite this, I would continue missing work. I would make every excuse in the book. Thankfully I didn't get fired. The depression
  25. I just turned 30 last November. Seems like all life does anymore is pass me by. I've dealt with severe anxiety and depression for the better part of the last 2 decades, and before that, ADHD as a child. I have tried every medicine under the sun, including experimental ones like ketamine and such. I've done ECT treatments, hundreds of therapy sessions and group therapies. The doctors switched my diagnosis from bipolar, to severe GAD, to borderline personality disorder, back to GAD, many times, and I'm not even sure what the current one thinks I am. I mostly sit there staring into space when I'm
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