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  • Stuff That Makes You Feel Like Crap
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  1. Sorry if you think this should go in the being a crazy student topic... Today during afternoon registration my 'mentor' ( each group of students in my year have an allocated teacher to help them with things but also just to sign the students in in the morning and afternoon) came over to me and wanted to talk. Apparently 3 of my teachers have spoken to my mentor and my years receptionist person who deals with any issues we have. Anyway all the teachers said that I have seemed like I'm not enjoying the lessons. I wouldn't mind if this was true but I'm clinically depressed, along with other th
  2. In my french class today we were talking about drugs and their effects, my teacher then went on to talk about hallucinations and described how not all hallucinations are good and he gave the example that someone may see their friend being murdered right in front of them. As soon as I heard him say this I completly froze and I my blood ran cold, I felt, for some reason, that I was "caught". I have hallucinations of the exact same thing that he described and yes I know that hallucinations of people being killed in front of you is associated with a possible hallucination of someone who takes drug
  3. Have you told your boss that you are having depression issues? That it takes too long to complete an easy task because you can't concentrate? You let him/her know when you are switching meds? Have you explained that you don't contribute in a meeting because you don't know what is going on? Is that a good idea? How did it work for you?
  4. sorry, my searching of this forum is failing me. maybe i don't know the right search words. as you may know, i'm new to this on a more extreme scale to me than i've ever experienced before. how fast can you go from hypomanic to depressed? just a few days ago i felt fine, had a minor bump over the weekend, but that was most likely situational. or at least there was some situational stuff that would explain feeling down. and i think i bounced back on monday. but last night and today i feel like i'm losing it. maybe not super depressed, but i don't feel very well. like things are s
  5. Ok, this is my first post on here so sorry if I seem like a newbie as...I am. Anyway, I have been feeling extremly low for the past 5 years, i am now 16. Over the past 3 years I have felt suicidal and recently even more so. However now instead of spending half of my time (mainly in lessons) creating my own death I imagine me murdering others in various imaginitive ways and how to not get caught. I get a bit of a buzz from it. I have always had a morbid fascination with death but now I feel like something is taking me over and bringing these morbid thoughts to a whole new level. When I feel t
  6. Since I was a little girl I always felt there was a greater meaning for me, that I was going to seriously defy all paradigms and trends and be as unique as I could be, because I was special. My mother and brothers took care of beating that belief out of me and by the time I was 9, I was determined to get the hell out of that toxic environment. Early on middle school or so, I came across the idea that we are "supposed" to finish school, go to college, find a mate, get a job, get married, buy a house, have kids, and grow a family, all this while looking fabulous. So I have made part of this chec
  7. Hello! I am looking for some answers and user experiences about using Wellbutrin and Cymbalta together. (I am not English or American, so I apologize my mistakes in English grammar.) I am 31 years old woman and I have been "ill" for 10 years. I can later explain why I got sick, but now I am on Cymbalta 30 mg and Wellbutrin 150 mg, and I would so like to hear about other people´s experiences with this combo. My diagnoses are longterm depression and borderline personality disorder. But I´am a nice person!
  8. There are some murmurings of ECT going around. I know people on here have suggested I give Emsam a longer trial, it has been almost a month. The thing is my suicidal desires are real high, the only thing keeping me from acting on them is the fact that I have no money and I don't have the time needed for IP if I messed up. Even still I've had desperate thoughts like covering myself with the last of my Emsam patches and binging on cheddar cheese. I'm not sure it would do anything but the thoughts been there. I don't know what other options I have. Emsam is the only MAOI I've been on,
  9. Hi... I don't know the best way to give you a background about me... but as I've said on my other posts, I have been depressed for some time, currently on Lexapro 10mg. My doctor said it is also possible that I have adhd. He didn't want to give me treatment on adhd yet, and it has not been officially diagnosed since the depression was really affecting me so much so he wanted to focus on that first. The thing is... I really feel that I have adhd. So I'm wondering if any of you can relate to some of my experiences. For example, I started reading two books at the same time... and then I s
  10. I'm dealing with a depressive downswing at the moment and I'm looking for some opinions so that I can go into next weeks pdoc appointment educated. 1. Does Geodon have an antidepressant effect? If so, will going up on the dose help? 2. If Geodon doesn't do much for depression, will adding an antidepressant help? 3. Is there a different anti-psychotic that might have a bit of a lift for mood? 4. My therapist mentioned today a drug that I didn't catch the name of and wondered if I was on it. It wasn't one I'd heard of before. Is there an antidepressant that works well with my current med
  11. Ach, another depression post! I've noticed that this summer/fall my depression has taken on an unusual pattern: deathly depressed for some/part of the day and perfectly okay for others. There seem to be no triggers for these mood switches. If I'm lucky I'll wake up feeling okay but I might feel miserable later for no reason, and vice versa. Sometimes I have a few days where I'm fine. This is incredibly frustrating because I have no idea how I'm going to feel and there seems to be no way to regulate my moods because they do not seem to be environment-related. During my other depressive epis
  12. A couple of days ago, I began sleeping too much again.. though I was feeling fine. This weekend, I went on a beach trip with my family. And.. I FELT NOTHING. No pain. No joy. No happiness. No sorrow. I could not feel. I was numb to the core. Even the songs that ordinarily made me cry had no effect on me. I txted my pdoc and he said I was depressed. Huh? I guess I was used to mixed states- lots of anger, energy and aggression. But this? Life as a vegetable with no motivation, energy and emotion? This was new. I felt so...lifeless. I looked out the window
  13. Depression, for me, is pure self sabotage. I had a three hour job last night, it went well, the boss said I did a good job. I was supposed to go again today, but was feeling depressed so I emailed her and told her I couldn't go due to a migraine. Even though working made me feel better. Why am I doing this to myself? What's wrong with me? I just felt it was impossible for me to go, and that I would rather stay in bed. I need the money and I need the time out of the house. Anyone else sabotage themselves while in the midst of depression? What do I do to get out of this pattern?
  14. Hi everyone, I haven't been on crazyboards for a long time. Since I've been here last, I've finished uni, and I've been doing well mentally. I've applied for graduate jobs and I'm waiting to hear (will take a while). I'm working part time and keeping myself occupied. I haven't seen my pdoc for months and months because I've been episode free and really stable. changed onto pristiq to get rid of side effects from effexor. But basically - good. My partner is dealing with his depression and I find it really hard. I take him to his appointments, I encourage him to do positive things
  15. Hey, I'm posting this rant because I don't have anyone to talk to and it's a Saturday and I'm pretty sure I can't speak to a counselor/therapist until Monday at the latest. I just need a soundboard (is that the right word?). I would appreciate your thoughts (kind of unkind, helpful or unhelpful) I just would like to hear feedback of what people think. ... Here is the situation. I've been dating a guy for 7+ months. Really like him. I currently don't have a job and it's putting a lot of stress on me. I'm a gay male and I've come to decide I don't like a lot of my friends in where I'm cu
  16. Basically this is my question - how do you know the difference between 'I'm better' and 'they're working'? I'm on venlafaxine XR (Effexor) 150mg and have been for what seems like a ridiculously long time but is probably less than a year, which won't seem much to you hardcore Crazyboarders out there, I'm sure. It's been fine - great really, especially compared to every other AD I tried - and for many months I haven't really had more than a mild attack of the unexplained sads. What I have had is the occaisional crazy, not-sleeping, bipolar-friends-start-chanting-'one of us' spell, but it see
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