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Found 11 results

  1. Ok, I am just curious, I am a 45 year old Mom, have been married for 20 years, have occasionally suffered from depression and anxiety in my life but not consistently. Also ADD, and take Adderall regularly. I had been on anti depressants for short spurts and occasionally anxiety meds as needed. I have never been suicidal or anything and never had a manic episode up until 40. At 40 I was on an Pristiq for about 9 months and decided to go off it cold turkey. I ended up having a manic episode within days and was forcibly hospitalized. The Dr's told me I was bipolar, gave me Depakote and Abili
  2. I just joined CB and I didn't really want to make a new thread to whine about myself but I guess I feel a bit scared out here on my own. I'm currently trying to complete my last semester of college, after already having to repeat a year. I'm only taking 1 class, but it's a constant struggle. I can't attend class and I got behind from the start and have yet to fully catch up. I was just diagnosed last year with BPNOS--BP1, with rapid cycling. I was on Lamictal for a bit fall/winter of 2013, but my dad lost his job so there went my insurance, and I just got it back this semester. Back then
  3. At times I can be walking around or whatever and I feel like I'm transforming, I feel this incredible, intoxicating energy, and I feel like I'm becoming a demon, or specifically a kitsune because I've always related to them. I can practically feel the claws and fangs growing. I walk around and I imagine how with such a power, such claws, I could easily kill these puny stupid humans, and I imagine cutting/stabbing them with my razor sharp claws, biting them, essentially, going feral and attacking the heck out of everyone. It's so much fun that it's hard to keep from leering at everyone. I'm gra
  4. i'm gonna try to say this as concisely as i can because my journey with mental illness has been a long one (even though i'm only 19 lol) (omg i'm now reading over this as i'm writing and this is basically my life story in a nutshell please bare with me!!!) as a very young child, i was very happy but extremely hyperactive. once i started school, i started exhibiting clear signs of mental illness - the hyperactivity persisted, along with tantrums, angry outbursts, impulse control issues, and general unhappiness. (also, funny story, for some reason cravings for carbs are a sign of childhood
  5. There are so many conflicting reports regarding whether or not BP gets worse as we age. I like to be prepared, which is why i usually need to look under every rock and hard place, no matter how scary it gets. Does anyone know about BP and growing older ? Anyone in the group who is experiencing BP as they're growing old ?
  6. this sucks so bad. I was invited to visit my parents for my mothers bday. going there involves a 3 hour car ride w my younger sister. this is difficult since she is a lawyer and really successful. i first said yes,then no. it's this kind of behavior they hate. I freeze thinking about conversation and appearance . I get so nervous in others company sometimes. maybe this was a bad idea to post but I feel super guilty. they understand and all,it's ok,I do most of my family "obligations",but not this weekend. ok,have a great weekend,everyone!
  7. i am probably jumping the gun with this. please humour me anyway. i'm feeling anxious about what's happening with me lately. i've probably said it a million times here already, that i've developed hallucinations that have so far persisted for the last 9-10 months. for the first few months i thought the auditory hallucinations were real. i know now that they're not, just like i can figure out that the shadow animals and the raindrops i can feel falling on me aren't real. i didn't tell pdoc or tdoc until about a month ago. the idea that someone is going to tell me i'm making it up i
  8. it seems like there's lots of talk lately about hallucinations, so here's my post. (clarifying that although i do have DDNOS and frequently hear the voices of my others, they are very recognizable to me and not unusual at all - the following questions have more to do with possible BP symptoms). i'm not the type to see or hear things that aren't there. when we were processing trauma (PTSD, now under control), it wasn't unusual. but that was years ago. that they were visual hallucinations was very clear, like a tree appearing in the living room. it only took a few seconds to realize
  9. i don't know if this should be here or in the BP forum. i'm supposing it could apply to folks with depression and/or anxiety too. all my life i've loved music. i grew up listening to my parents very loud stereo (mostly disco and classic rock, that betrays my age). when i left home i carried on the same tradition. my daughter grew up listening to grunge, industrial, and rap (again louder than it probably should have been). now she does the same (good thing she has no kids yet, god forbid one of them should grow up to dubstep heh - there's more cussing in that that gangsta rap!). fo
  10. Hi! I'm really glad that I found this site. My current diagnoses are BP I, BPD, and ED-NOS. Those labels have changed throughout the years, but I believe these diagnoses describe me the best. I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 18, following my dad's nervous breakdown the previous year (he was dxed with bp II). This last year I was able to get A LOT of DBT and that helped my BPD enormously. Although I'm not taking my medication regularly, I'm doing really well. I've been hospitalized about a million times and I've been on most of the meds (or so I've been told).
  11. I was looking up some stuff for my lorazepam and I came across a board on here. Really a cool place. I don't really do big introductions. I'm Kathryn, 23, mom, hair stylist. I live with severe ADD and anxiety and BP. I guess my main concern that I've been struggling with, the past couple years since I've had my twins especially, is realizing that I am 23 years old and that I will be taking these medications for.....80 more years? I am chemically dependent 110%, and the meds DO work, but i guess I just feel trapped by them? For example: I take 70mg Vyvanse, 100mg Lamictal, 1mg Lorazepa
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