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I was prescribed Vraylar as a mood stabilizer for MDD, which I have been diagnosed with for 20 years, along with ADHD and social anxiety. Until I Vraylar gave me an acute manic episode for over a year, which I hid from my doctor because it was so much better than being depressed. But then I came clean and we realized I actually had hypomanic episodes about 2ce a year, but didn’t realize it, I just thought I had some energy. Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else has had this reaction to Vraylar?

Hey guys, long time lurker here, and I'd really like your input on something. I'm a bit stuck when it comes to treatment, and I'd like to hear some peoples' opinions, as I wont be able to see my doctor to talk about it for a little while. I’m currently diagnosed as having GAD and MDD, but I’m starting to think I have a bipolar spectrum disorder. Here are some points: Failed multiple antidepressants (Zoloft, Lexapro, Prozac, Viibryd, Pristiq). Failed and/or had too many side effects Had side effects on every serotogenic antidepressant, even while augmenting (Wellbutrin, Buspar) like sexual dysfunction and extreme fatigue Atypical depression — BP Depression has excessive sleeping with a lot of daytime fatigue and an increased appetite, opposite of MDD Very anxious — BP much more likely to be accompanied by stronger anxiety symptoms The fact that “If all the treatments don’t work, maybe you’re treating the wrong thing” Excessive nighttime eating (seen in BP Depression vs unipolar) Racing thoughts Earliness of first depressive episode (age 19 at the LATEST), and research shows it’s very likely to be bipolar disorder if before the age of 18/20/25 (experts disagree on the age) My anxiety symptoms could actually equate to mixed state Losing and regaining interest in hobbies (I’ll enjoy my “typical” hobbies one day and then later, zero interest / motivation) Cousin has BPII (I know immediate relatives are the key, but still, a data point) Online shopping addiction (computer, iPad, something new in the mail every day) The fact that Bipolar Spectrum Disorder doesn’t require mania/hypomania, just multiple non-manic markers of bipolar (see links below for source) The odds that I have treatment-resistant depression coupled with very prominent anxiety, and considering my episodes of depression aren’t THAT bad that they would be so hard to treat So, what do you guys think? For me, it would be a big relief to get a diagnosis as somewhere on the bipolar spectrum, as I've tried so many meds already, and I just wanna feel better If anyone is curious as to my regiment and past meds, I'd be happy to post that as well. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read and respond! It means a lot! some sources: http://psycheducation.org/diagnosis/ https://www.healthyplace.com/bipolar-disorder/bipolar-depression/differences-between-unipolar-depression-bipolar-depression/

Hi CB, Long-time reader, first-time caller. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety all of my adult life and it's been a constant process of discovery seeing how deep this rabbit hole goes. I've been on disability for almost a year after an intense dissociative episode which almost killed me. There's been a lot of learning during this time but also a lot of what feels like slippage; our traction is never as good as we think it is. I'm currently coming out of a six-week hole of hell flushing out in preparation for taking EMSAM, an MAOI. It's starting to kick in which means I can answer the phone, do daily chores, eat food, and actually write this introduction instead of staring at the ceiling constantly contemplating suicide. Pharmaceutical bedpost notches: Zoloft, Prozac, Depakote, Zyprexa, Remeron, Lithium, Abilify, Ativan, Klonopin, Wellbutrin, Seroquel, EMSAM. Maybe a couple more. Nothing has helped so far. I'm anxious to try TMS but my insurance will not cover it. Other methods: CBT, DBT, Vipassana meditation This is a great community and so I wanted to jump in here and say hello.

The med tinkering is driving me nuts. Anyone with me here? Sigh. I have had depression and major depressive episodes for the past 20 years, but I have only been doing the med thing for the past three years. I feel like I get so close to finding a combo that works, albeit with some intolerable side effect... and then I try to get the combo better and wind up making it worse. My latest foray brought back my PMDD crying/depression/irritability for the past week and I'm just at a loss of what to do next. My psychiatric nurse is pretty much up for whatever I want to try, but I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe you all have some ideas? Here's what I'm on right now: Lamictal 200mg (for MDD; *supposed* to be my main antidepressant), Wellbutrin XL 150mg (for giving me more energy and helping with my sex drive), and Lexapro 2.5mg (I had been up to 15mg, but completely lost my ability to orgasm and decided to go off it; hence going on Lamictal). Dx: MDD, PMDD, Primary Insomnia (which may or may not be related to my depression) Antidepressants I've been on: 1) Prozac: numbed me to the point of apathy, caused periodic limb movement disorder at night, sedated me 2) Zoloft 75mg: improvement over Prozac! actually helped me sleep through the night! Yay! Killed my ability to orgasm. Boooo! ... until I added Wellbutrin, then WOW! Sedated me so badly that I only survived on caffeine pills that I had to carefully time through the day, at 100mg every four hours. I hated the sedation (as in I would fall asleep wherever I was multiple times a day if I ran low or out of caffeine), so decided to try something else... 3) Wellbutrin 150mg: Added to help give me my sex drive back. Worked wonderfully! Love this one! Wish it still worked with Lexapro... 4) Lexapro 15mg: Swapped out the side effects. Caused periodic limb movement disorder like Prozac, but NO SEDATION! :-). Sadly, killed my ability to orgasm so completely that not even 300mg Wellbutrin could touch it. I could say that I could live with this, but the endless frustration in my relationship has made me want to pursue another option. 5) Lamictal 200mg: I started this in January of this year, for the purpose of getting off Lexapro, and have been titrating up ever since! Holy crap; it's been forever. Within that seven months, I tried to go off the Lexapro three times. The first two times, my Lamictal was at 100mg and I got down to 7.5mg of Lexapro before having a return of depressive symptoms. This past attempt at going off Lexapro, Lamictal was brought up to 200mg for two weeks before attempting to titrate down on the Lexapro. I titrated by 2.5mg every 5 days and I got down to 2.5mg before having discontinuation symptoms, including depressive symptoms along with headache, irritability, and nausea. So now I'm at 2.5mg of Lexapro and have been holding there, afraid to go off it completely and afraid to go back up. Clearly the 200mg of Lamictal, plus 150mg Wellbutrin are not enough to deal with my depression, particularly the menstrual/hormonal version of it. I was at 200mg of Lamictal for 7 weeks before this last period hit, so I know that there was plenty of time for it to work. If I increase the Lexapro, it defeats the purpose of why I went on the Lamictal. I've never had good anti-depressant results from Wellbutrin, only increased energy, so no reason to go up on that. I am disappointed at the possibility that I've given Lamictal this entire year to work and I don't know if it is marginally working, or not really at all. I'd like to think that the reason I was able to get down to 2.5mg of Lexapro without return of symptoms this time means that the Lamictal is doing *something.* Do I ask to increase the Lamictal? Go up to 300mg? Do I add a different SSRI and go off Lexapro completely? Pdoc thinks I should try Zoloft again. Aaack! Must I live in a sedated state for the rest of my life?! I don't know if there is even the possibility that another SSRI would be better than Lexapro with the side effect profile. But maybe try Celexa and hope for the best? Do I add an antidepressant that is not an SSRI, like Strattera, Abilify, etc.... Since I know y'all are going to ask, I have tried Mirena and Nuva Ring to control the hormone influenced depression and it has been a crap shoot. Mirena turned me into a raging bitch for months and I bled and bled for weeks at a time. So I had that taken out, needless to say. Nuva Ring caused weight gain, pimples, break through bleeding, and did not seem to make any difference with the hormonal depression. So I went off that too. Talk to me, people. Lend me your ideas.

Short story - MDD d/x'd 3 years ago with EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified - i.e. I restrict, but I'm not thin, I used to purge, but not too much). I also self-harm and have situational anxiety and chronic insomnia. Current meds: 50 mg Pristiq, 450 mg Wellbutrin XR, 2 mg Klonopin (1 at 5:30p, 1 at 8:30p, occasionally 1 as needed), and 10mg Ambien. I've been on the klonopin/ambien combo for a long time and it works pretty well for my sleep. I've been through most of the SSRIs with limited success or horrible side effects, only to find out via a recent GeneSight test that I don't have the whatever/enzymes to process SSRIs (and SNRIs) correctly. Only Pristiq and Fetzima are in the "green column" for me. Meds I've tried - Celexa (worked for a while and then nada), Lexapro (similar), Zoloft (horrible reactions), Paxil (little effect), Brintellix (not enough and bad side effects), Wellbutrin solo (worked for awhile, but then became not enough), Abilify (gained 20 lbs in one month with little effect), Risperadol (no impact), and I'm sure other combos I can't think of. We went up to 100mg of Pristiq but I felt like I was in a fugue and would lose all sense of time, so we backed it down. I'd like to go up to 600 on my Wellbutrin as it works well for me but my pdoc won't even though I've been purge-free for 13 months. My eating disorder is ok - my weight is stabilized and I'm not restricting or binging. I'm in therapy regularly and see my nutritionist every other week. But I am exhausted all of the time. It is difficult for me to get out of bed, it's impossible for me to do anything. I have no memory, and it is a struggle for me to think, let alone work (I'm a professor). With the Vyvanse, I'm sometimes able to get out of bed. I can feel my brain "knit" together and kick on, and even have started writing again. I still can't bring myself to get things done or to exercise or even get outside unless I must. The problem with the Vyvanse is that it wears off pretty quickly for me. If I take a dose at 6:30a, by 11:30p I'm scattered, can't think straight, and feel lost. I take a second dose at noon but it barely holds me to 4. Then my brain is gone. I am still exhausted, and then I can't really think at all in the late afternoon/evening. I'm completely distracted. I have a call with my pdoc this week and I'm considering asking her to switch the vyvanse to adderall because it has an XR, and the up and down with vyvanse is shitty. I'm really reluctant to switch from the Pristiq since the worst of my depressive symptoms (hopelessness, sadness, flatness, isolation) are better. I like that the vyvanse cuts the cravings so I don't turn to sugar to try to help with the lack of energy because that worsens my ED. I can't take anything that will cause weight gain, or anything that increases appetite. I'm on a meal plan, I'm not losing weight, but I can't take aggravating my ED on top of the shit I'm dealing with. Does Adderall XL last longer for depression-related ADD symptoms? Does it cause jitters or increased hunger? Anyone use it as an add-on to antidepressants?

Though I came up surrounded by close family members who struggled with various mental illnesses, I wouldn't say I had an especially traumatic or even a really remarkable childhood, apart from the sporadic, sometimes episodic fireworks Crazy can bring. On the whole I had a pretty typical middle class upbringing, for which I am grateful. My older sister served as my introduction to the mysteries and miseries of mental illness. She suffered from Bipolar Disorder, and it was clear my parents despaired at her condition. There was much acting out, at least one suicide attempt that I am aware of, multiple stays at inpatient facilities, and an ever-changing cocktail of medications throughout her teens. She tapered off meds when she planned to start a family, and has done amazingly well without them. My younger sister struggles with panic disorder and more physical ailments than anyone her young age ought to be saddled with. My mother was a survivor of child abuse, and subsequent to the passing of her father when I was about 12, she suffered a series of psychotic breaks that led to the first of several inpatient hospitalizations, and a lifetime of profound treatment resistant MDD that continues to this day. Not only did she not perpetuate the cycle of abuse she suffered but I never even knew what she'd been through until I was much older. My father never (to my knowledge) sought treatment for any mental illness, and tended towards stoicism and emotional opaqueness. I suspect however that he suffered (or even suffers still) from depression -- at the very least. HIs siblings suffered from myriad mental maladies. His upbringing was somewhat of a mystery to me, as what remained of his immediate family were separated by geography. I believe he too was a survivor of child abuse, based on what I've gleaned from anecdotes. My older brother was a bit of a black sheep, and when youthful indiscretions of the self-medicating type became too much for my well-meaning folks to handle he was given an ultimatum and joined the armed services. He was stationed in South Korea, and I gather his self-medicating ways came along for the ride. Upon returning stateside he had a hard time reintegrating, finding stable work, and had to rely on the support of his family more than I think he would have liked. He was a very emotional person, and felt things very deeply. I imagine if I would have asked him for one word to describe himself he might have chosen "failure". That's certainly not how I would have described him, but he was the type of person for whom every setback might have seemed like the universe pointing a spindly celestial finger at the tip of his nose and proclaiming FUCK. YOU. By the time my brother killed himself with the sputtering exhaust of the sparkly brown hatchback my mother had given him, I was living my own kind of Crazy. Today, I find myself at a strange cross roads. I am happily married. Successful, especially considering I never finished college. I have more than my fair share of material possessions. I have family and friends whom I love, and who love me. As much as I curse those who use the phrase, I'm Blessed. And yet, I can't recall a time I felt more lost. You see, growing up as an insatiably curious child in a household surrounded by Crazy, and where both parents worked in the medical field. So I didn't just *live* with Crazy, I, in a sense, *studied* it. Psychology. Anatomy. Psychiatry. Biology. Pharmacology. And most especially *Psychopharmacology*. I was never under the illusion that reading medical texts would make me a doctor any more than reading cookbooks would make me a chef. But I found, and still find the subject phenomenally interesting. In the late 80's and early 90's before webforums, TV drug adverts, wikipedia, etc., it seemed physicians expected laypeople to know almost nothing about medicine, so much so, that if you knew even a little, and went in with talking points memorized, you were going to leave with whatever it was you came for (within reason). Maybe it's always been that way. But I certainly felt clever, and in retrospect maybe a part of the burgeoning vanguard that changed how pharmaceuticals are consumed. Modern medicine is so unabashedly, brazenly consumer driven, I doubt any clinician bats an eye when patients come in and know exactly what their diagnosis is, the name brand and dosage of the drug they want, and oh by the way I've already printed off my own coupon that makes my copay 3 dollars until the drug goes off patent in 2030. But back to my personal tale of medico-consumerism. 22 years ago, at about 14 years of age, I self-diagnosed myself with depression. PART II To Follow Later

I've been on a number of depression meds for 15 years. After trying a bunch of different ones I finally got on Abilify with a fair amount of success. It was added to a few other meds and has helped bring me out of a nasty depression 8 years ago. The other meds were lamictal, lexapro, and wellbutrin. The major side effect I had from this cocktail was sluggishness. I had no energy and significant lethargy so after 8 years of this I decided to remove the Lexapro. The result has been fewer sluggishness and more positive emotions (like tearing up from joy or getting chill bumps after hearing something that moved me--the Lexapro apparently held these emotions in check). But I am having a slight slip in mood. As such I feel like adding something like Brintellix but can't decide. any thoughts on Brintellix or suggestions for another add-on?

I just went from Prozac to Brintellix, it's apparently a really new drug that came out in September of 2014. I can't find much on it with it being that new, and no one I know has been on it. Can anyone tell me their experiences? I'm on 10mg right now, just took my first pill about 30 min ago. So far...nothing but it takes time so... I'm also recommended by my doctor to go to a treatment facility for group therapy can anyone talk to me about their experiences in group therapy or treatment centers in general? I've been to therapy twice but not this.

Hi Everyone, Quick Timeline: In 2009, I was initially diagnosed with MDD, ADHD and also had anxiety issues. Then in 2012, I was re-diagnosed with Bipolar I Disorder, accompanied with ADHD and still have anxiety issues but with no official diagnosis for the anxiety. However, I do take anti-anxiety meds. My medication cocktail entails Abilify 10mg, Adderall 20 mg, Ativan .5mg and Lamictal 200mg and I take everything in the morning. However, I truly believe that there is something very wrong with this med combination and that I have the wrong diagnosis. Some days, I may feel somewhat energetic and can start my tasks but then the energy disappears midday. Most days, I feel fatigued, miserable, a loss of concentration, tired and even become depressive sometimes. With these particular days (even right now), I just do nothing all day... which all happened... today. I think that the Abilify/Lamictal combo is a no-go. Secondly, the Adderall is ineffective probably because all of the other medications cancel the hell out of it. Thirdly, I do not think that I have Bipolar Disorder. I think that I have MDD for sure, hence why I think that the Lamictal is a no-go even by itself. I've even tried supplements - 5 Hour Energies, Vitamin B12, Fish Oil, Vitamin D, etc... not all during the same time period. But of course, they still don't help. Oh, and trust me, I've told my pdoc about all of this, but he doesn't have much to say except to go up on the Abilify - part of what makes me feel tired and miserable...smh. Does anyone have ANY insight? I'd like to know what others think about this issue...

Hi crazies, So I've been in outpatient care for over a year now trying different medications and therapies to try and make me feel better. See, here's the catch... none of the medications seem to have any effect on me at all. I mean nothing. Or nothing that I can see. I read about some people seeing a marked difference sometimes when they try some new medications, either bad or good, but I've never had anything close to that ever happen to me. My case presents like an easy-to-treat depression, which is what my psychiatrist said, and that after a couple of anti-depressants I should be feeling better shortly. Yeah.. that didn't happen. We've tried so many medications that he is starting to panic now and he even recommended electroconvulsive therapy. My question is does anyone else have this problem? And if you do what are you trying/what works for you?

Hi crazies (lol), I've been on your website recently and found the information and sense of community quite inspiring. Well, I'm a 17 year old high school senior with major depressive disorder... that's about it i guess, that's all I've got. Obvious symptoms of a mood disorder surfaced at 14 years old, but now that I know more about mental health i realize that I was probably very different in the way I think from early childhood. Two years ago my family saw that my mood was become a problem and starting to affect my life so they made me go to our general practitioner and from there I referred to a psychiatrist, whom I am still currently with. I was hospitalized three times in three months back in mid 2013 for suicidal thoughts and intentions, self harm... and other usual stuff that we all go through here (stay strong together (: ). There has been some debate on the diagnosis which may explain why nothing has worked thus far. I was once given a diagnosis of bipolar 2 and bipolar NOS and doctors were treating me accordingly. However, after my most recent hospitalization the diagnosis is now MDD, but I think all of us (including the doctors) are a bit confused as to what exactly is wrong with me. So yeah, that's where I am now... in a long stalemate of doctor giving medications and me staring at them hoping one day one of them will work. I realize this is getting long so I'm done now thanks for reading if you did .

Hi everybody! A while ago I asked about switching to MAOIs from tricyclics. I ended up switching from imipramine to clomipramine instead with (surprise!) no results. Now I'm actually making the switch from clomipramine to Nardil/phenelzine. I just wanted to know of anybody who has been on Nardil, what side effects they had and how they found it, especially those suffering from severe or treatment resistant depression. I have a history of serotonin syndrome which worries me a bit but I'm going up slow (15mg a week) with a seven day washout. Hopefully, since my SS is usually caused by combinations of tricyclics with Pristiq, I will be okay but I'd like to know if anybody else has had problems and what helped/didn't. I am scared but I always hate switching meds and I'm pretty miserable at the moment as well. If anybody wants to talk to me that'd be great. I'm exhausting myself worrying and just want concrete information, be it good or bad, to arm myself against the fancy conjured by my imagination. Thanks gang.

Hi everyone, I'm relatively new here and had a recent tentative diagnosis of Bipolar II after months of being MDD only. The tl;dr of this is that I'm not sure I understand the difference between "agitated depression" and "mixed states," and how those related to a dx of MDD versus Bipolar. Read more below. I've struggled with depression for years, and finally saw a pdoc and started an SSRI in October '12. Still having breakthrough episodes in Jan so upped dose to 15 mgs and promptly went into my first real manic episode -- hypersexuality, spendy, restless, considered divorce, flying high for days, etc. I found it both thrilling and troubling and knew something was "wrong" but wasn't sure what. Googling revealed that antidepressants can trigger mania in people who are bipolar. Further reading on bipolar helped me realize that I've probably been experiencing hypomania for years, primarily in the spring: restlessness, agitation, super bitchy/angry, unable to feel settled or content, taking on lots of new projects/hobbies, spending money, wanting to move (or moving!), wanting to have a baby (and getting pregnant!), wishing for major life changes, etc etc. But I wasn't ever flying, happy, or euphoric, and had a lot of bad, grumpy, unhappy days. When I described this to my pdoc at our last appt, when I finally 'fessed up about the manic behavior and we were discussing mood stabilizer options, she mentioned "agitated depression" as another possibility. I'm confused as to what the difference is. Is there a difference? Is it just a matter of terminology? Does the fact that I was triggered into mania by my antidepressant mean I'm not "really" bipolar? Could it just be atypical depression? She was less interested in nailing down a dx than understanding and treating the symptoms (for now, I am continuing the Lexapro and titrating Lamictal, with plans to lower the Lexapro dosage after I'm stable on Lamictal). Which is the right thing to do, I'm sure. But in trying to wrap my head around all of this stuff, I'm finding myself wanting to be able to say "I have MDD" or "I have Bipolar Affective Disorder" or whatever. Can y'all help? Thanks for any insights you might have.

Have you heard this? What do you think about it? Is it true? Is it an oversimplification? I saw a new counsellor last Friday and he said this to me and it made me uncomfortable. Not because it isn't applicable in many situations, but I do think it vastly oversimplifies depression - specifically clinical depression.

I'm totally and completely new here, and have no idea really what I'm doing, but I felt the need to just GET MY THOUGHTS OUT OF MY HEAD. I feel like they're circling around in my brain, slowly chipping away at my sanity. Am I okay? WTF is going on?? I just feel like I'm going freaking crazy! Half of the day, I lay around on my floor (no joke) and either watch TV or go online, feeling like a lazy depressed slob, the other half of the day I feel agitated and the need to move around, clean, organize shit, etc. I've been seeing my psychiatrist 2x a week for the past several weeks (started with an every day meeting while I was inpatient for non-psych related medical issues). Currently he's out of the office for a week and a half...that's two visits that I'm missing, and I feel like I'm going to EXPLODE...or implode. I constantly feel like I need to punch/throw things (though I don't, because I feel guilty about feeling that way)...I should probably mention that I've been dx-ed with MDD, with aspects of GAD/OCD, which I suppose is true (I have a bit of a problem with psychiatric hypochondria, if there is such a thing). I feel like I don't know what's wrong with me, I know something is, I think...I don't know... GOD I just feel like screaming and tearing my hair out! It's been a week and a day since my last psych appt, and I'm going NUTS. I talk to him about stuff I never talk about to anyone else, and it's all building up inside me. I keep getting thoughts popping into my head...weird morbid stuff like gory images, SI/suicidal stuff (ps: just thought, not action!) or just insults from the back of my head talking to me, like "lazy", "loser", "moron" etc, etc. I tend to get obsessive about thoughts and feelings in particular, and tend to analyze them to DEATH (pdoc says it's my defense mechanism). I just feel so confused and scared. Sorry for the rant... I think I just really need someone to talk to.

I dunno wth I'm supposed to say here. I am glad I found this place as most other 'support/advice' sites are complete bullshit. I'm 38, have had PTSD for 32 years, MDD, anxiety, and now add to that ADHD - non attentive, most likely BPD, and I'm sure there's a slew of other shit I fit as well... I've been on and off meds for years, generally preferring to self-medicate. I'm recently back on the legal ones (about a month now), taking 300 mg Wellbutrin (generic) SR and 1 mg Klonopin 2x/d. My energy and motivation are shit. I'm constantly tired and feel like I could crash down on my keyboard right now. Anyone else out there experiencing this?

sure it is.

Hi everyone, what a great site, glad I stumbled across it! I'll just indulge myself by giving a quick history: I've suffered recurrent depression (generally pretty middle-of-the-road but sometimes severe) since I was 17. I also have a childhood diagnosis of ADHD, which has come back to haunt me at university, where I'm in my final year of a maths degree. Currently struggling with both in approximately equal measures. I joined the boards here hoping to see how crazy people like me (and crazy people unlike me!) approach life, and generally share experiences. I'm quite open IRL but often it's difficult to share constructively with people who haven't been through the mental health mill. Hopefully this site will fill a gap, and I also hope I can contribute in a way with others might find useful or interesting. See you all around!