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Found 6 results

  1. Right, so I have schizophrenia with hints of MI, and I've had two Others (Personalities? Facets??) for several years now. When they aren't acting as Primary (fronting???? I don't know the common terminology I'm sorry) , they kind of... just exist? Like I can feel them there sometimes and during those times I can talk to them without becoming them. I CAN willfully become one if I'm calm enough and it'll happen forcefully if I'm extremely stressed for extended amounts of time. When it happens forcefully, it's as if I've blacked out, but once I'm back I remember everything and can control things. I can act as an observer when it's a chosen switch... Anyway, about a year ago, a new personality just kind of... started existing. I could feel it but for a long time I couldn't do anything with/to it, until a forceful shift happened. I can see and hear them, and they all have distinct characteristics that are kind of... set in stone I guess and this new one is a freakin CAT it makes me really upset but I can't change it no matter how hard I try to overwrite it. I feel like nobody will take me seriously because of this nonhuman Personality and I've avoided telling people close to me because of it. She doesn't say hardly anything, unless she has to, or if it can be typed or written. I'm afraid that a shift will happen and it'll concern people that it's not a personality they know, and because there's almost a... refusal to speak. Any ideas?
  2. Note: I posted this question in the bipolar forum because my personal experience with this topic has been through a bipolar lens and I'm eager to hear responses from other bipolar people, but really this topic applies to anyone with an MI and I'll value any and all responses regardless of diagnosis. How many of you can't/choose not to drive? I'm a very rapid cycler and for that reason have decided that driving is not in the cards for me at the moment. I've had more than one close call while driving without realizing I was manic and I could very easily have cost myself or someone else their vehicle or their life. Driving while depressed is dangerous, too: My reaction times are so slow that I miss signals, lose track of where I am, or can't maneuver my vehicle quickly enough in traffic. I feel that these are all pretty valid reasons all by themselves, but now I'm also experimenting with AAPs and benzos and I don't feel confident that I know my body's responses to these medications well enough to risk driving, even if no other symptom were present. Still, I often feel guilty that I don't drive. I struggle with thoughts that I'm just lazy or selfish, that I could really drive if I wanted to--I know how to operate the vehicle just fine, after all--and that I'd be fooling people to say that I "can't" drive, so I usually just say that I "don't" drive. I do have a driver's license, but I sometimes lie when people ask me why they've never seen me drive anywhere and say that I haven't got one. Can you guys relate? On the flip side, how many of you drive on a regular basis, and does it feel comfortable?
  3. Rant warning sorry. My mum has been very supportive over the years (and still is) but there are times in my life when I know she's trying to help, & that she wants to help, but she just makes it harder. Over time, I have put on a lot of weight. This has resulted in me becoming unhappy with how I look and doing my best (but not yet succeeding) to loose weight (for myself, for my hubby and for my son). My mum is very fit and into exercise and eating right, she is also rather forthright and pushy. So, the short of it is that once again we're going through a cycle of her commenting on things in my life and it hitting a nerve with me. She comments on my weight and how I need to eat right and exercise for my family, how I need to keep my house clean and organised etc and how I need to work on all of this so that I can get better and become more stable mentally, and then get a job and support my family & supplement my husbands income. Now, she does help us immensely, she pays for my personal training sessions once a week and we rent her house off of her at a low weekly rate. All of these things and more I am so very grateful to her for, I really am, and I thank her often for her help. However, when I get to this point/cycle of her comments wounding me, it's really bloody hard to explain to her that whilst from her perspective I'm not doing enough to help myself or my weight or the house, or looking for work, and how in her eyes it all seems easy to sort out, that for me it's not. I'm seeing a new Shrink, I've only had the first meeting with her, so tbh, I'm not sure if it'll work out or not, for various reasons. I see her again in a month, so will have a better idea after that meeting. What I would like to find is a Shrink who is able to see that I could really benefit from some intensive psychotherapy which due to my location and family life is best able to be achieved by short stays in a private psychiatric facility on a regular basis. As I feel that I would really begin to gain and re-gain the life skills I so desperately need to help me. It is all of the above that I find hard to communicate to my mother. I know that on some level she almost sorta grasps it, but not quite. So until I can achieve my treatment goals, I'm bumbling along as best I can. I just wish I could get my mother to see it that way. My husband is very supportive and understands what I need and how I'm holding on, which is good. It's just a pity he works 60 or so hours a week at 2 jobs. I feel like a failure *sigh* /rant
  4. So I really like my therapist, she is nice and listens. But at most recent session she wanted to know what I wanted to work on...I usually just vent/ramble/try to make decisions most of the time and don't really work towards something. Can anybody give me topics or advice on what to talk about? I see her 2x a week and usually could spend the whole hour talking and her listening...its like an outlet. When she asked what I wanted to work on I said "anger". But what other topics could be useful for someone with: Schizoaffective - Bipolar type Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
  5. Not in the delusional kind of way, but I feel like others are living this charmed life that I don't get to be a part of. Like I can't talk about my son that has MI to people because they are judgmental and try to offer suggestions, like we haven't already tried that. It's like we are already neck deep in the muck and they are at the beginning where you step in mudpuddles. I know the meds, the side effects, how long they take to work, we've tried a handful on him. No, he's not just acting out because of hormones. Stop trying to help. (I had to call out on a big training thing at work because of his meds not working so some people know) Then there's the, well I can't go do this because my son might freak out or be totally inappropriate, no, we have the pdoc appt or therapy. I can't make dinner without someone arguing sometimes. So yeah, I get sort of envious sometimes when someone else's kid goes to dance and excels or soccer, whatever have you. That's just not our existence and I'm not sure it will be, ever.
  6. Hello Anyone have information on Rose Hill residential treatment center in Holly, MI. It is for higher functioning bipolar and other disorders to help learn or relearn life skills. I am planning on going but it's a 6 month program and I'm a bit worried. Can someone tell me what it might be like? Brandon
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