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Hi Everyone! So I switched from Ritalin to Adderall about a year ago to control the symptoms of my obnoxious ADD, and it works really well to help me kind of, quiet my manic mind enough to feel motivated and capable to start and finish whatever I'm working on. Great med, The only problem is that I have lost a pretty intense amount of weight since I started taking it, and it doesn't seem to be getting much better. Did anyone else have this problem with adderall for so long? Any suggestions? Thanks! Olive <3
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Hello everyone, I am female age 49, have been on Adderall for ADD 3+ years. Starting at 5mg tabs twice daily and now at 10mg tabs twice daily. Adderall has changed my world, the focus is incredible and it really helped with work as a magazine publisher. I can no longer do my job because of severe arthritic symptoms. *I had a conversation with a college professor in the pediatric medical field, he stated that new evidence shows that Adderall can cause debilitating joint/muscle pain and damage, weakness, and maybe permanent damage in some patients. Apparently, new study information was published in 2018 stating joint/muscle injuries and pain in children taking Adderall. Can anyone help me find the study? I want to know about your adult experience. Is this happening to anyone else taking Adderall? My question is... Should the company that makes Adderall be warning doctors 'not' to prescribe to people with pre-existing conditions??? Does anyone else out there have symptoms like I do??? Anyone else out there have arthritis before taking Adderall and have arthritic symptoms quickly become debilitating??? My Symptoms: Within the past two years, my arthritis symptoms have quickly changed from mild to severe and debilitating, to the point where twisting the cap to open a bottled water is unbearable. Holding a fork while eating dinner is painful. I fight through the pain while tying shoes, doing dishes, standing for more than 5 minutes etc... Every joint is affected, shoulders are the newest pain that began about 9 months ago and now shoulders are so bad I need assistance putting on my winter coat. If I must be active, for example vacuuming, doing dishes, wrapping presents and walking through the mall for 2 hours, all in the same day, the following 1-2 days I suffer with double the pain/inflamation and fatigue! My hands, feet, hips, shoulders, neck/back and arms hurt, I drop and break baking dishes by accident because it is painful to grasp. These are just a few examples of the issues. My History: I was born with 'Stickler Syndrome', a genetic connective tissue disorder which causes early arthritis. At age 32 I started feeling stiff, at 35 I started taking celebrex, and still take it. At 47 and 48, I was doing great, walking 12 miles over 3 days on a trip to New York City. Stiff yes, but not much pain. This year my body has changed to that of a 105 year old or worse. An arthritis specialist did a battery of tests for all the common causes, rheumatoid, lupis, lyme and others. All tests negative. X-Rays show osteoarthritis in all joints. Please let me know if anyone else is experiencing this!
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Hi there, I am wondering if I could get advice regarding what type of professional is needed to diagnose ADHD? What type of training, background, credentials, etc? There have been hints that I may have ADHD (inattentive). I have seen a clinical psychologist who told me she has neuropsychology experience (her PhD or PsyD is in Clinical Psych). The tests she said she'd give me are the WAIS (Wechsler); the Woodcock-Johnson Cognitive Ability test, and the Taylor Manifest Anxiety Scale test (I do have diagnosed anxiety, and I have to say that IF I have ADHD , it does seem to be helped somewhat with anti-anxiety meds). I guess my question is this: how much subjectivity is involved in analyzing these tests? This provider is covered by my insurance, but I'm not super thrilled with her experience (school counselor who seems to be fairly new at working with ADHD folks). There is a neuropsychologist in my area who is supposed to be extremely good but is not covered by my insurance and the testing/reports/recommendations would cost over $2,000 all out of pocket. Please note that if I DO get a diagnosis of ADHD, I would not be getting counseling from either; I would simply see if adding a small amount of stimulant (or other) medication would help me. I would rather not pay that much money IF the testing is relatively objective and the results would likely be the same regardless of who administers the tests. Thank you!!
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Hello there! Brief history: ADD has been mentioned to me a few times in the past, but I never took it seriously and had some other mental health issues I felt needed to be addressed (OCD, depression). I've recently started up with a new doctor and she said my ADD should be addressed and as I've come to learn, may have contributed to my depression and OCD anxiety, along with issues I've had my whole life. My main question is this... school has always been difficult for me and I know that's super common with ADD. Does anyone else feel like they have trouble reading? I feel like sometimes the words are overwhelming and I need to follow along with the words with my finger in order to focus on the sentence. It takes me forever to get through a book. It doesn't feel like dyslexia because I don't think I mix words up or anything, but I seem to have trouble comprehending what I'm reading if I don't really strain myself to focus. Just wondering if anyone else had this experience and if it is ADD related.
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Does anyone else find that the days you take your stimulant, you sleep like baby at night and wake up refreshed? I do! I'm so happy that I am finally getting restful and conistent sleep with the help of Adderall. I take 10mg IR once in the morning and sometimes I take a second dose around lunch or dinner. I was reading good article abut it. Let me get the link. It's from Tuck.com. If it's accurate information, it seems very informative. https://www.tuck.com/stimulants-and-sleep/
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Hi all. This post is a last resort. No, I’m not suicidal. But I am on the verge of something — going back on full dose Wellbutrin, a drug that’s been both effective yet awful for me. I’m very desperate to find another solution. I've literally been trying for decades. I’ll explain as concisely and non-boringly as I can. I’m 43. I’ve been on 150 SR Wellbutin since I was 19 for depression (possibly mildly bipolar) and ADD. Initially it was a wonder drug — I went from being a C to an A student. I helps me stay productive and keeps me from getting depressed (I’m not happy on it, far from it, but not exactly sad either). But over the years, my side effects have gotten worse: anxiety, fidgety-ness, tinnitus, stuttering, restlessness, paranoia. I hate that everybody knows me as this stressed-out restless person when that’s not who I am. I’m trying to date and it’s tough when I’m so anxious. It's like I could never relax and enjoy myself. I want to believe there’s a better way, that I’m not broken and that with the right combination of food, supplements and exercise my brain will work properly without it. But increasing the dosage turns me totally nuts and lowering it tends to utterly crash my motivation and basic brain functioning. I have tried to quit many times. One time I got down to 100 mg for awhile — then I lost my job, so I hopped right back on. I have tried many, many other drugs too. SSRIs — including most recently Brintellix — increase my happiness (yay!) but also turn me into a total couch-snoring zombie (oh no). So those are out. Mood stabilizers like Lamictal have side or ill-effects. ADD drugs like Adderall, Monafidil or even Strattera boost my productivity, but then I crash and feel super angry and send ill-considered emails. Tried Pristiq, Effexor, etc. I once tried a bunch of natural things that bump dopamine (I'm a dopamine seeker), but that didn’t work. So a year ago, I got really serious about trying to quit Wellbutrin for good. I went to a shrink who specializes in hard cases. He thought some degree of reduction would be beneficial, he said my brain was like an engine that was being driven too fast (I know -- 150 mg isn't that much, but everything hits me hard). But he warned that he’s never seen somebody on a drug this long who successfully fully quit — “your brain starts to need it.” We started cutting back very, very slowly — like a mere 10% cutback every couple months. I also ramped up some other things. While I’ve always been relatively healthy, I'm working out four times a week and eating well. I take a bunch of supplements (multi, b-energy, ginkgo, astragalus, vita D, pterostilbene, vita c, CQ10, acetyl l carnation, cod liver oil, coconut oil, green spirilla powder). I drink green and chaga tea. Meditate a few times a week. I’m trying everything I can to give my brain and body what it might need. My labs say everything is at the right level. Along the way, I added low-dose Naltrexone, which definitely helped a little (like 1 mg before bed) — it’s used off-label as all-over anti-inflammation drug. That one has stuck. Other exotic ideas my shrink tried, like carbamazepine for a few weeks, and clonidine for another few weeks, did not. In a way, what’s happened this year has been a success. I got down to 75 mg in late summer and was still functioning and far less stressed out— I have never come anywhere close to doing that before. But I can’t cut more than 75. Because ever since hitting this level — where I’m still at — I’m also feeling a bit sluggish and low energy and forgetful and sometimes unmotivated. Those are all symptoms, to me, of not quite enough Wellbutrin. Basically, I’ve traded some problems for other problems, and I can't continue to accept these problems because I don't want to endanger my job. Here’s the really frustrating part: There are times when I start a new drug, or sometimes when I initially increase my dosage of Wellbutrin, when I’ll feel FANTASTIC. Like utterly fantastic and alive and confident and happy and social and productive and like myself — or at least who I want to be. This happened most keenly when starting the low-dose Naltrexone, and it stuck with me for 3 incredible days …and then, invariably, those feelings will slip away. And that’s a horrible feeling, like the guy in Flowers for Algernon. I’m teased with being in this light, that feeling being whole and mentally healthy is actually possible if only my brain has the right combination … then I slip back down into the clouds again. So here I am. A year later, ready to surrender and bump up Wellbutrin back to maybe 100 or 125 and be kinda-okay-but-not-really. Ultimately I don't care if I'm on a drug or off a drug, I just want to be happy and side-effect free, like everybody else wants on these boards I guess. Maybe it's hopeless. But I've tried so hard -- reading and researching and experimenting over the years. I figured I would post here in case there’s anybody who has any thoughts about my case, anything I should do that I’m not doing. I was planning, after triumphantly beating Wellbutrin, posting something on these boards about how I did it. I wish I could write that post instead. But maybe there’s somebody like me out there who has and knows some clue to solving my decades-long brain puzzle. Thank you for reading.
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I have a constant urge to start over... to just run away from my life. It happens in the immediate sense, for instance, I could be sitting at a traffic light and have an intense urge to drive out of state or away for a week (yes, I have acted on these urges). Or I can have an urge to sell my house in the city and buy a farm in another state (yes, I have acted on these urges). I always want to move, I always want to start over. At the same time, I crave stability and planting roots. If I didn't have kids I would probably just wander all the time. It's like I'm always seeking something... I always want to see something new. At the same time, when I picture my ideal life/ future, I'm on a farm/ homestead with my husband or life partner (whoever he may be), am I am firmly planted, happy, grounded, rooted, etc. Anybody else have these sort of feelings? -Captive
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How likely is it that I'll be prescribed vyvanse if i have used drugs (not stims) previously I'll probably be put on something for either ADHD or just adhd symptoms, probably will get a dx but pdoc might just treat symptoms, i hope I get the dx though, not in a 'I want to have adhd' way, cause i dont think anyone wants that, just because it would explain a lot and be a relief to have a diagnosis, anyway what stimulants would it be likely for me to try with my history? my parents would be giving it to me by the week btw, and if needed they could just give me each days dose in the morning, I'm willing to do what would make the pdoc comfortable, I really think they would help me, clonidine didnt, but I'd be willing to try strattera first but I'd prefer a drug I dont have to wait a month to see if its working anyway, (as usual) sorry if that makes no sense EDIT: Also going to add that I've now got my anxiety under control thanks to my current Seroquel dose, so these symptoms are my next priority because school is hell at the moment
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Newly diagnosed with Bipolar2 (predominantly depressed) My previous diagnosis was major depression. I'm now on a mood stabilizer (Lamictal) which is effective, but I want to get back on a stimulant (was on Ritalin) to help with ADD symptoms as needed for work. I have 20-years of chronic depression/increasing apathy that will not go away. I've been on the gamut of SSRI's and SNRI's, even Abilify and high-dose Wellbutrin for long periods, and none of these effectively targeted the depression, just gave me annoying side effects. I think I need something that directly targets Dopamine (not Serotonin or Norepinephrine). Problem is, i was never officially diagnosed as ADD as a child because this diagnosis was not common in the 70's (I have had the problematic symptoms my ENTIRE LIFE but untreated) No pdoc wants to prescribe me a stimulant, no one around does testing/diagnosis for Adult ADD. My question is: How many people here have been prescribed Stimulants since childhood? If not, and you have other co-morbid mood issues - How was it that you were prescribed a stimulant? Ritalin is the only med that noticeably helped me with no major side effects (was on 20mg for 9 months), but since I've run out (and newly diagnosed Bipolar2), no one will prescribe it. I've never had Mania, just some intense mood-cycling dips (never euphoria/enthusiasm, but the opposite: intense depression/dysphoria) which seems to be corrected by my mood stabilizer. Please give me your impression/thoughts.....I am very saddened to have finally found something that helps my major symptoms with no immediate side effects. I don't understand why doctors think stimulants are so detrimental/ineffective, yet they readily pass out dangerous/powerful antipsychotics & addictive benzos (to people that aren't even psychotic, schizophrenic or have panic disorder)?
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Hi there, new to this place, wanted to know if anyone had any issue adding Adderall to their pre-existing Effexor script. I'm on 225 of Effexor XR, and since adding Adderall (it seems) but I'm not sure- that I'm withdrawing from the Effexor. I know this makes no sense... Symptoms- feeling brain zaps, eye shutters, which increase as the evening and night sets in, feels EXACTLY like Effexor withdrawal to me, and I've come off it about 3 times in the past ten+ years so I know thats the familiar feeling. However- I'm sooo confused b/c my dose has NOT changed. And the only real difference is the Adderall, which I take 25-30 IR everyday. Please help- I am realllly uncomfortable with these feelings as its like everyday I withdraw or something. I will not forego the Adderall though.. Should I try another SSRI? I have pretty bad depression, and anxiety (which the adderall helps strangely enough), a bit of OCD (thoughts only), and Innatentive ADD. Also, I've been on the effexor-adderall for about 1.5 months and this has continued and seems to be getting maybe worse- slightly. It started about 2 weeks in. THANK YOU!
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Hello, Could someone please honestly tell me because I can't trust myself because I'm a recovering drug addict. (Id like to put a disclaimer right here that I don't follow 12-step dogma so please don't start preaching that even though it does work for many) anyways, new diagnosis I'm a 33-year-old male finally told that I have a little bit of aspbergers disorder which is now technically on the autism spectrum and ADHD to go together with my OCD, and GAD oh I can't forget about the clinical depression either. I was a severe opioid and benzo addict taking crazy amounts I am now medicated but I'm worried about the amount of stimulants. I have never abused stimulants other than MDMA really and I don't know much about them. I was just put on Adderall XR seven months ago now I'm a 6 foot tall 240 pound male. It was amazing to see the effects that it had. I can finally look people in the eyes and my brain was finally slow. It was like for years they tried to numb with the stupid benzo's but my brain would still race. However, the dosing scares me because I don't know anyone else that takes this. I take 60 mg in the morning and another 30 mg capsule at 1400. They don't last 12 hours and I work about 10 hours a day so I find the 90 mg keeps me good for the majority actually really good for thee whole day and I still sleep for 6 to 8 hours But I didn't quit shooting up heroin to die from a heart attack..so can any of you give me some input please. Ps. By the way I also take 60 mg of Paxil and 4 mg of Xanax which sounds high but is pretty good considering before the Adderall I was taking eight and this was prescribed by my addiction Doctor. I honestly was not abusing that. I needed that to function soon as I went on the Adderall I stopped having the stupid panic attacks and have managed to cut my dose in half. I also take an opioid called Suboxone which is used to treat addiction. So yes technically I'm on amphetamine, benzodiazepine and opioid and an SSRI but, I'm the happiest I've ever been and I'm actually functioning and holding down a job and stuff for the first time in my life. I could really use some helpful opinions
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Apparently Buspar no longer comes in brand name, which generic(s) is best for trying out to see if the medication is useful/worth taking? I'm in the USA; any help is much appreciated! These appear to be the current manufacturers: Ethex Par Zydus Major Pharmaceuticals Inc. Strides Arcolab Limited Accord Healthcare Inc. Heritage Pharmaceuticals Inc. Watson Teva Mylan
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Hi everyone, I/we just joined up because.. Eh. Needing support/people who relate and such. Social media's alright, but the privacy is always wonky and the ability to compartmentalise isn't so great. Forums/IRC are better for this kinda thing, I think. Anyway, yeah. Barrel of raccoons, etc. We have a long list of things, most diagnosed, some not (some by choice.. I don't want DID going anywhere near my medical record. :x). I keep thinking I've processed my abuse stuff and then discovering yet another delicious core of it under the next layer. Heh. My resolution this year at least is to not end up like 2015.. Too many near misses on suicide (we suck at it, it turns out), too much.. Retreating back indoors, not doing anything, not going anywhere.. Barely creating like we used to. So, yeah. I want to change. However, treatment-resistance is a pain on that front (in the 'my brain chemistry gives no fucks for your puny pills' sense, rather than 'my doctor thinks I talk back too much and all I got was this crappy diagnosis' sense). I took about 15-20 variations on antidepressants before throwing the towel in at hardcore-MAOIs (having to give up ADD meds, painkillers and basically-eating? Nah.). Anyway, pluralwise there's four of us. We'll probably all stick our noses in here once in a while. I'm Whisper. There's also Wynn, Tri and Felix. We're fairly recently plural.. Had a breakdown last year and that did it, I think. Also; * Autistic * ADD * C-PTSD (not diagnosed yet but plain as day) * General Anxiety Stuff that includes panic attacks, OCD symptoms, social anxiety. * Chronic Pain from Ehlers Danlos Syndrome * Depression-Dysthemia (Chronic/Severe/Treatment Resistant) * Oh, we get psychogenic seizures, too. Trying not to be embarrassed about that. Er. Anyway. Hi.
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My insurance pooped out and it's going to be another day or so before I can fill my dexedrine prescription. I'm entirely out. In the past, when I've tried to take a break, I've experienced crushing depression, even after a day. I've read it can start after 12 hours, and I took my last dose around noon today. Hopefully will be able to pick up more tomorrow afternoon, but I'm worried that I will go way down and not even be able to leave the house to get to the pharmacy (agoraphobia/depression). So I've taken the advice I've read online: tyrosine every two hours, continuation of clonazepam, and magnesium/b/c. Wondering if I can (or should) combine it with one of the other many drugs I have around the house that I've previously taken: Topamax (saw clinical study showing that has been shown effective in preventing relapse in meth addicts) Olanzapine Cymbalta/duloxetine (saw some doctors prescribe for this purpose) An increase of the celexa I currently take Trazadone (again, saw that is recommended) Does anyone know whether this would be advisable, on a very short-term basis, given the other meds I take (hopefully included in my signature). Would really appreciate any help to head off crippling depression tomorrow (or even longer, depending on how long my damn insurance company takes to get it together). Thanks.
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I've been reading a lot on this board about the new Fetzima. I was put on it four weeks ago by my GP when my Cymbalta just didn't seem to get the job done anymore. I've been on antidepressants off and on since 1996 but wasn't diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and ADD until four years ago. Up until then I had been on every drug you can imagine for depression. Cymbalta changed/saved my life, but my insurance company began to only supply me with generic, and I could tell immediately that it just wasn't the same. I started getting brain zaps, and that would usually only happen if I missed a dose. So my GP suggested Fetzima. The first couple of weeks I had the zaps and was a bit fuzzy in the brain, but all in all the transition was a smooth one. I felt decent and was just glad to be taking a non-generic for a change. Then last Friday night happened. 12/19/14 went to holiday party and proceeded to poison myself with shots of liquor. By 10 p.m. I had fallen down twice, blacked out (although I was awake) and could not stop throwing up. (Not typical behavior when I drink!) Husband drove me home. I did not take my Fetzima that night because I knew I would throw it back up. Threw up all the next day until around 3 when I could finally keep some soup down. That's when I took my Friday dosage of Fetzima. Had to stay in bed because I was so physically ill. Slept a majority of the time, took Fetz at normal time Saturday night. Sunday was still ill, brain not functioning correctly, irrational thoughts, completely depressed, slept most of the day and night. Took Fetz on time Sunday night. Monday was hoping to feel better but depression was worse. Fought with husband who doesn't understand what's going on, threw a fit and threw crap around the house, scared the cats, announced that I hate Christmas and I hate my birthday (on Xmas day), I don't want people at my house on Christmas, I don't give a crap about the stupid gifts and everything can be thrown in the trash for all I care. Threatened to leave my husband to be alone at our lake house, he wouldn't let me leave because (mostly) he thought I would hurt myself there or on the way up have a wreck on purpose. I scared him and scared myself that I was being so irrational. I told him of suicide plans that I had made back in the 90s, that it's always there in the back of my mind. He asked if I needed to go to the hospital but I eventually calmed down and showered for the first time in two days and brushed my teeth for the first time in three. I took two Klonopin and slept most of the rest of the day. I felt insane. I now feel incredible guilt for my behavior which compounds this helpless feeling. I want to feel better so today I'll be leaving the house for the first time since Friday. But I'm still here crying, guilty... Everything was fine until the alcohol Friday night. I haven't eaten hardly anything, trying to stay hydrated with water but I'm hardly peeing and can't remember the last time I pooped. I don't know if I'm not eating because I'm not hungry or if I'm just trying to hurt myself? I've lost 10 pounds since November... not on purpose, just burning more calories than I eat. I'm a runner but haven't been able to since last week because the weather is so bad and I really don't know right now if I could run if I tried. Am I doing this to myself - am I in control of my actions, or did all that alcohol and Fetzima really affect my brain so significantly? My family has been through a lot these past two months; my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 renal cancer and had to have her kidney removed and three tumors in the artery from the kidney to the heart, the same week I started taking Fetzima. I have been strong for her and my family but everything seems to be crashing down now. I had been fine until Friday night. This is supposed to be a wonderful time of the year but I just want the holidays over so I can get back into a routine. I am a teacher and I hold my shit together and I'm a professional but these last 4 days have been the worst of my life. I have presents to wrap and I don't even care if they get wrapped at all. I have got to have a better day today.... certainly my brain cannot still be mucked up from the alcohol 4 days ago??? Has anyone else had this experience... getting REALLY drunk on Fetzima (I weigh 107 and had probably 10 or more Fireball shots) and then being bed-ridden for four days??? I'm desperate for advice... I don't talk to my friends about this because I'm embarrassed, and my husband has never suffered from mental illness, so while he tries to make things better, (yesterday he told me I needed to snap out of it - I snapped alright), he only makes things worse. And that compounds my guilt also. When am I going to feel better? Can alcohol + Fetzima basically make someone go insane???
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I am really happy to have found this site. It seems like there are a lot of pretty cool people here, people that I can relate to. I am a 41 year old female, and the tags list a few of my diagnoses. It has been a struggle to find the right combination of medications to balance my mind. It has taken a lot of time and work to get where I am today, and I am looking for a few friends that I can chat with and get to know. I really love reading, music, and the beach. Hope to hear from you soon!
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I know there is some research out there relating Celiac disease to depression and ADD and autism...I havent really done much research but its there. Does anyone think that dietary choices play a big role in mental illness? or even a small one? I have a cousin who is a homeopathic doctor and she is constantly posting stuff on facebook about ailments, both mental and physical, and it just has me wondering. Has anyone ever tried changing their diet to eliminate symptoms? have you had any luck?
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I need to discuss symptoms with my pdoc but I can't get in to see her soon. I have to work until 5 and she leaves at either noon or 3 on the two days she works in my town. What should I do? I feel like I need to see her before the 3 wk follow up but can't actually get in to see her due to my work schedule conflicting. ugh Suggestions? -Mary
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Ontop of every anxiety disorder known to my pdoc, I have a sneaking suspicion that I might have a form of ADD. Def not ADHD, b/c I have very little energy after being on Pristiq for three months and becoming a female Jabba The Hut. And before that, blossoming into a a surly caterpillar on 20mgs of Celexa. The thing is, my pdoc's eyes seem to glaze over when I mention that I have intense troubles with attention span and focus. As in, it is difficult for me to get through a few pages of reading at a time, and I am a student so that don't fly. It is beyond procrastination, it is beyond disinterest. I have had complete emotional meltdowns because I can't concentrate on finishing a simple paragraph--written or read. In home/social life, I forget about timers less than half a minute after they've gone off. I have, "what did I come in here for?" moments 3+ times a day. If I don't stay on topic during a conversation. . . it is gone. GONE. I am currently tapering myself off of regular benzos (feels impossible b/c I suffer from panic attacks which will inevitably send me to the ER). And I am transitioning from Pristiq to WellbutrinSR, b/c while Pristiq works miracles for anxiety, it also imbues in me an all consuming love of my couch, sleeping bag, and remote control. I'm on a VERY low dose of Wellbutrin (50mgs/day), while tapering off Pristiq (which feels like dying). I am concerned my anxiety will return when the Pristiq wears off, but I am hopeful the Buproprion will help my focus and decrease my rotundness. Does anyone have insight? Is this just the meds?
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Okay, I completed my MS with a 3.82 (admitted to national honor society in my discipline). I just finished my first semester of PhD studies in a slightly different field (most of my MS credits transferred), and saw my GPA plummet to a 3.65 yesterday at the conclusion of my first semester. The offending semester's GPA was a 3.55, which isn't that bad mind y'all. However, descending from five semesters of a 3.82, obviously there's something bad going on. Especially when I earned solid, hard-worked As in two of my three classes this term. There was just one class I earned this BLUDGEONING BLASPHEMOUS EYESORE of a B- in. This is the lowest grade I've ever gotten in my 6.5 years of college study (4 years BS+BA, 2 years MS, 1 semester PhD). No, the problem is not that my instructor was enough of a d*****bag to give more than half the class below a B. (Our graduate MS and PhD programs require a B- or better in every single valid credit, meaning that about a third of the class basically failed the course -- me almost!!!). Well okay, he was part of the problem and I'm currently seeking the grade distributions to call him out. If a third of the class can't pass it, either he can't design a course properly, or one-third of the 30 MS students and 6 PhD students in the program are incompetent. Too bad said d*****bag is conveniently leaving the campus forever next month, otherwise I'd make it so he'd never teach a course again. Or maybe it's a good thing, since I shouldn't be exercising my vengeance privileges that often. Did I mention I fortunately was 2% above essentially failing the course and possibly forfeiting my scholarship and position as a PhD student? Do I have a sense of entitlement? Hell yeah. Is it valid? Hell to the yeah!! My sense of perfectionism Just Does Not Like This. I don't know if the issue is my entitlement of perfectionism, or a broader concern for my fellow students. Probably both. I Do Not Want To See my PhD cohort cut in half. </rant></rave>
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My psychiatrist will not have a proper conversation with me. It's like I go in, she yells at me a little bit, gives me my prescriptions and I'm out the door. I keep telling myself to go to a new doctor but then I resist as I am exhausted telling my story over and over again. I research a lot about my mental health conditions, which she does not like. When I tell about medications I've researched she asks me why I have done that. She told me I can not email her and it seems she only cares about money as shes the only psychiatrist who hasn't let me come in when I'm short of money (all my other one's would let me post date a check or pay the following month when necessary) I have also tried different dosages of my meds on my own judgment as well as meds not prescribed to me and have found better results but I don't know how to bring this up to her. She's very much about low dose of everything, even if it's not the correct dose. I don't even have a correct diagnosis. She just yells at me and I just let her and for some reason I keep going back for me. She doesn't that I educate myself with mental health issues but will not trust my judgment. She has also made so many prescription mistakes that have to be amended by the pharmacists. I don't know what to do, if I should find a new doctor, but that seems scary.
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Am I on the right meds? I have bipolar/ADD, I have been to three psychiatrist and they don't actually give me a specific diagnosis. I tried antipsychotic medications didn't work. I tried Lamictal, it made me very flat, antisocial, monotone and caused bad acne. Seroquel and Saphris were both horror meds and basically f***ed me up. The only thing that worked was Adderall, so we eventually removed all the other medications (my doctors unaware and unsympathetic of all the withdrawal symptoms that occurred to which they didn't understand) After a while on the Adderall XR and dose changes from 20mg - 25mg - 30mg. It was making me feel very jittery and the come down wasn't pleasant at all. Then we went to IR Adderall, started with 10mg 2x a day then do 7.5mg 3 x a day. The IR worked much better and stabilized my mood But it wasn't lasting very long...a couple of hours at tops, so in between doses I would get irritable, have racing thoughts and be unmotivated. We then also added Ativan, as at this time I had lost my job, pretty much my friends and was alone, unmotivated being worried about useless things and scared to get a job. I was self-sabotaging myself. The Ativan which is 0.5mg, helps me and my doctor said it's fine to take 1 every day. Which I feel bad about, there have been times when I've taken it in the morning and in the evening I have anxiety again and my doctor said it's fine to take another one some days if I need it. I just don't want to be dependent on it as I have previously had withdrawal symptoms from both Gabapentin and Lamictal and Ambien which were horrific. So we decided to go to Vyvanse - which I'm only on 30mg right now, I explained to my pdoc that I checked and 30mg seemed only equivalent to 10mg Adderall (which I was taking 22.5mg a day) but she still wanted me to give it a shot. It was fine for a few days, my depression wasn't as bad, my thoughts weren't racing and I was doing stuff. But then the past week or so I've been oversleeping. Taking naps during the day, been unmotivated, tired and hopeless. I don't know what to do, my doctor said she was going to give me a higher dose of Vyvanse, so hopefully that will be better and I'm still taking the Ativan when I need it. Any advice would be appreciated...
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I current take Zoloft for depression and anxiety, lamictal for mood stabilizer- anger-, and topiramate for seizures and migraines. The way I am now I can't complete work what so ever or drive, to the point I've crashed into a ditch. I have friends that sell theirs and was considering getting a low dose to see if it'd make distance. Researching interactions has been very vague, does anyone know?
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