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  1. I've posted on this topic before, because I'm really wondering why this is happening to me, but not on other people that have been on higher-dose stimulants (without breaks) for MUCH longer.... I re-instated Ritalin (after a 4 month break) due to increase in work cognitive tasks. Pdoc increased the dosage because previous dose was starting to not cut it, wearing off early. I Was told I could experiment, but to take weekends/breaks off in order to "rest" . In the last 3 weeks, I've noticed drastic improvements in my mood, motivation, ability to focus on intellectual tasks/reading, and a po
  2. National Public Radio recently ran a story covering a Standford University study that found that Ketamine may act as an opioid, and therefore may have the potential to cause addiction. See? It's like I always say: Glass half empty. But this is a preliminary study, and the findings will have to be duplicated by others. Listen to the story.
  3. So, I guess this post is about how I can deal with this issue...My SO is on his iPhone 24/7, even while walking down the street, eating meals with me, and when we are watching TV or a film at home. I cannot get him to get off it! I look over his shoulder and its crap (not important stuff), like stupid memes, Twitter feed, sports scores. I've told him constantly that it really irritates me and makes me feel like I do not matter. I feel ignored. Yet he keeps going back on it. What else can I do??? Then I start going on my iPhone too, and this gets me depressed. I try to go out, and keep mys
  4. So basically im dead inside. I currently being emotionaly dull, i cant feel any motivation or desire to live, despite that im still doing my everyday things, going to college, working out, doing my usual duties and chores. The thing is that i have an schizoid disorder, and im very paranoid. I posted in addiction because one of the most destructive things is my addction to many things. I smoke, not weed, regular cigarettes, the thing is that my parents think that i quited smoking but i dont, i wanna quit to, i hate it, and i hate it because my parents are well known religiou
  5. I'm so fucking tired of this damn war on drugs. The persecution of doctors and even pharmacists (YES - PHARMACISTS are losing their licences in FL for filling "too many" 100% legit scripts - not forgeries, but by doctors with active DEA credentials appropriately medicating -- not some crazy ass amount of oxycodone or worse). It leaves people like me, in chronic hard-core pain (that's only gotten worse) crying in bed from the pain. Doctors are too afraid to treat their patients. Meanwhile.. it's all about the poor, innocent, helpless victims of a world where pain meds exist and they've g
  6. Hi, The subject has probably been brought up before, but I'm new here so please indulge me. I have a couple nasty pain issues that crop up. Unfortunately, I have a pain pill addiction that crops up as well. I have a good friend of mine hold my pills for me, because if they're in the house I have a tendency to take them for the addiction portion of the show instead of the pain portion . I'm tired of juggling, but I have no idea what else to do. I'm also trying to get depression and other mental health issues balanced as well. I just started taking Abilify on Friday and not feeling
  7. Ok, not sure where to post this, yet this is all tied to my mood disorder. As mentioned in my other post, I stopped going on Facebook 2 weeks ago (it was making me severely depressed. I was passively scrolling it for HOURS everyday, yet I was never posting anything). My husband told me that I have simply exchanged one addiction (FB) for another, with going on this CB Forum. I told him that I post here because it is the only support I have from people that understand what I go through. This is only place (other than Therapy) where I can express myself/be accepted as who I am. People here
  8. How did it go? "The only thing we have to fear. Is fear itself!" So a small piece of my history. I was DXed with Anxiety and my doc suggested Xanax. As I've had experience with a person who takes Xanax and his apparent vegging out on it I begged off. I was afriad that whatever happened to him would happen to me. So we went over a list of other Benzos and the only one I knew about was Valium/Diazapam. I knew one person that took it and seemed to be perfectly functional on it. In fact if she had not suddenly stopped taking it I would have had no idea she took it. *Aburpt stopping a d
  9. Can anyone one in crazymeds land relate to my cocktail. This cocktail allows me to live a productive, gainful life. I'm even pretty damn happy and funny most days. But when my mood cycles, watch out!! I've never hurt anyone, but I've scared people. Thanks to my medication and therapy, those episodes are infrequent now. I also have long term sobriety thanks to the 12 step process and medication.
  10. Hello, Could someone please honestly tell me because I can't trust myself because I'm a recovering drug addict. (Id like to put a disclaimer right here that I don't follow 12-step dogma so please don't start preaching that even though it does work for many) anyways, new diagnosis I'm a 33-year-old male finally told that I have a little bit of aspbergers disorder which is now technically on the autism spectrum and ADHD to go together with my OCD, and GAD oh I can't forget about the clinical depression either. I was a severe opioid and benzo addict taking crazy amounts I am now medicated but I'm
  11. I was just prescribed Welbutrin for depression and ADHD. I am only 17 years old and am already showing signs of having an addictive personality. I had illegally been buying adderal pills off friends at school to help motivate me to do homework and get good grades. It worked. I had been making AMAZING grades, and not only that, but I felt like a happy person due to its euphoric side effect of amphetimine as well. At first, I would only take 10 mg every once in awhile like if I had a test or just a lot homework I needed to get done. Then it turned into taking 10mg everyday, slowly turning into t
  12. I am really happy to have found this site. It seems like there are a lot of pretty cool people here, people that I can relate to. I am a 41 year old female, and the tags list a few of my diagnoses. It has been a struggle to find the right combination of medications to balance my mind. It has taken a lot of time and work to get where I am today, and I am looking for a few friends that I can chat with and get to know. I really love reading, music, and the beach. Hope to hear from you soon!
  13. Hello. I'm forcing myself to reach out and try to talk to people because I can feel myself spinning out of control again. I'm not sure that I have anything worth saying, but I'll try. I'm a twenty four year old college drop out with no job and disabled two year old twins. That about covers it.
  14. I recently started seeing a new P doc-- guy immediately takes me off 50 mg of Seroquel after my complains about weight gain and lethargy and puts me on up to 3 mg of Ativan to take at night. Not a little bit of Ativan here and there for anxiety-- like what I assume most people take, but one big dose to take at night only for sleep. I have terrible insomnia. Is that safe to take 2 mg at once at night? So far I have been taking 2 mg nightly ( every night) for sleep. Been sleeping okay. He also started me on 5 mg Abilify because to be safe, my treatment team agrees I need to be on anti-psycho
  15. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 12, put on concerta. I wasn't really fidgedy, I just started puberty very early and around that time I started being bored with everything and not being focused. I've been on and off concerta, focalin, and focalin xr for years, but after a year of not being able to be prescribed scheduled substances, I got put back on focalin in June. I just have an addictive tendency and always go overboard with it, considering I've been dealing with a meth addiction. Does anyone have any tips on how I can control myself, or tell myself when to call it quits?
  16. What frustrates me is that binge eating is never taken seriously by the Mental Health System. As a child I was morbidly obese and it was never taken seriously by doctors. I was always eating, mostly as a coping mechanism. I remember I was constantly checking the fridge for food, even after dinner. I just never stopped eating. I gained so much weight that it took me 6 years to lose it. The only thing doctors did, was tell my mom that I needed to eat vegetables.... and they also gave me a voucher for the gym which didn't help economically much either. It took my Mom installing a lock in th
  17. I have heard of some studies done in which Topamax has been investigated for the efficacy in treating alcohol dependence, cocaine dependence, etc. (I don't have any citations off the top of my head, but after college I worked in an addiction research center, and one of the psychiatrists was running a study on using Topamax for treatment of alcohol abuse. I have also separately heard that Topamax can help with "impulsive behaviors" in general (binge/purge, self-harm, etc). Has anyone ever used it for purposes of reducing substance cravings and/or specifically to target impulsive behaviors
  18. It's been 7 months since I last used meth. 7 months since my last meth induced psychotic episode. I was doing so well. About 2 weeks ago the cravings began again. I just couldn't get it out of my head. I gave in last Monday and shot up a couple of points. Had another psychotic episode. MAJOR. I was receiving hypnotic commands again, being absolutely humiliated by the voices. They were inflicting physical pain. I could feel it. I still feel that there was some reality to it all. I can't shake the feeling that I WAS hypnotized, that the voices were real. Like it was some weird demented inte
  19. Okay, back in Winter 2011 I got into prescription painkillers. I had just had a major surgery and was prescribed hydrocodone to deal with pain. I started out okay but I noticed that taking this med not only lessened the pain, it also took away my anxiety which I had struggled with all my life. So long story short I went from hydrocodone 5mg to oxycodone 15mg abuse by early summer 2012. I ended up in trouble in August 2012 and my use of these meds was cut drastically. I did, however, continue to take them when I got my hands on them all the way up to September of 2013. Heck, for most of 2013 I
  20. Addictions are not only dangerous during the abuse of the drug or alcohol, but afterwards as well. Suffering the after math of it is certainly no easy feat, but I suppose this is the price you pay for it. There is no use now wishing that it never happened. It is over now, and all that is left is suffering the damage it left and moving forward. I never smoked a cigarette or did hard street drugs. I smoked weed for awhile, and when I was denied any other type of street drugs since all the dealers were actually looking out for me, I turned to pharmaceutical drugs. I would say I was a pill-popper
  21. So I've officially quit taking benzos (specifically Valium). I actually didn't mean to, I just ran out and didn't get around to refilling for a few days. I didn't feel addicted to them at all - took only to sleep at night and just the (relatively small) amount prescribed - but I guess my body got completely used to/ dependent on them, because day 2 and 3 felt awful. Crazy, intense headache, chest pain/heart burn, general aches, and the sort of irritability/ Mean Reds that aren't solved by Tiffany's and makes you want to set things on fire. According to Wikipedia, the withdrawal symptoms "e
  22. I feel it from the pit of my stomach. I'm in prison.barely sleep,eating a little. the anxiety is just extreme. sorry,I cant explain .its hard to think straight. the problem is I used to be addicted to valium. I told my pdoc this and told him to never give it to me even if I begged. however,I feel that right now I want one. I can't ask. I will never go to the streets again. just voicing my frustration. if you are in position to take a benzo for anxiety ,be grateful. being an addict was horrible. need to remember that. still,a walk in the park compared to MI.
  23. Does any here take naltrexone and adderall? I've never had a problem with opiates but I am in recovery. I take naltrexone to help with cravings for alcohol and to help with my eating disorder. I take adderall for my ADD, and I take it as prescribed. I'm having a tooth extracted in preparation for a dental implant and the doctor is going to give me pain killers. I've gone off my naltrexone in advance so I can take the opiate based pain killers. I've been off it about 5 days now and have another 2 days to go before my surgery. I decided to go with the opiate based pain killers because I had
  24. I live with my ex boyfriend since I'm trying to save money to move out. I sometimes (twice a month) go on a day long binge of soda, he sometimes participates. When I use all by myself I'm quiet, watching T.V. or on my computer. He will then go into a long rant calling me every bad name I can think of. It brings me to tears and worries me. Do I deserve this kind of treatment?
  25. So....I relapsed about a week ago after approximately two months of sobriety. I have been seeing a Substance Abuse Counselor for almost three months now, with whom I decided to be sober for a period of time before attempting moderation management, which seemed like the best idea. Anyways, about 3 weeks ago I began moderation management, but not with a very black & white set of rules for myself to follow. I drank twice without blacking out, feeling the need to drink significantly more, and handled myself appropriately though I was somewhat visibly intoxicated. I didn't feel that these w
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