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  1. Habing a hard time getting stabilized... Was doing well on Wellbutrin, Zoloft, and Dexedrine but blood platelets bottomed out. Also was on Seroquel and Lamictal, Stopped Zoloft and DEX (causing platelet issues) and also stopped Lamictal over the course of a year. Started on Effexor 225 mg (which doesnt affect platelets) but I feel like Im becoming dysphoric, irritable, more anxious. Its making my anxiety worse. Anyone have good cocktail ideas? I'm thinking of going back on Lamictal, maybe wellbutrin and a tricyclic...I don't know (or Buspar)...The problem is I can't take anything with Seratonin (SSRI or AMPS)...Perhaps concerta next as it has no seratonin reuptake.
  2. I have ADHD primarily inattentive, and until recently it was pretty much decently controlled. However, in the last 4-6 months, I have been suffering greatly from the inattentive symptoms so much so that they are practically debilitating. Also, my motivation to do anything, recreational or not, has just gone completely out the window. My room has been an absolute mess—an embarrassingly barely traversable sea of clothes and trash that I just cannot bring myself to pick one single thing up. I'm sure depression is a factor, but just... FUCK! I ran off the road the other day because I was flapping my gums talking to my friend and not paying attention to the road. I got a flat tire on my brand new set of 4 tires and bent the fucking rim of the wheel! That's going to cost a lot to fix... Going to have to probably leave my car at the dealership while they order the part to replace it with... My pdoc just simply doesn't prescribe me stims anymore. Won't get into that. We got into an argument and now she's all vindictive about it. She barely prescribed 10 mg Adderall before that anyway as the death of her husband left her very conservative with prescribing, especially stims. So my gdoc does my stims. He didn't know what to do. I asked about adding a little oral selegiline (Eldepryl) for the levoamphetamine metabolites (more noradrenergic = better for inattention) + MAO-B inhibition for more dopamine (better for motivation symptoms), but he said "that sent shivers down [his] spine just thinking about prescribing that" and preferred to stay away from it. So I asked about protriptyline (Vivactil), which I've taken before with some success, and he agreed. Problem is, it's so uncommon and hard to find that I'm going to have to use a mail-order pharmacy to get it, very likely. Any self-proclaimed ADHD experts out there? Should I be searching for a second pdoc to see specifically for my ADHD? Someone who will go above the 60 mg max of Dexedrine for my ADHD? A second amphetamine stimulant? (Adding methylphenidate to amphetamine will cancel each others' mechanisms of action out...) I have tried all the amphetamine stimulants and so far Dexedrine is the most potent, even more potent than Desoxyn (methamphetamine), which I hated... I don't want to go back to Adderall because of the shortage... Evekeo my insurance doesn't pay for, but would actually probably be best for me because of my inattentive symptoms. (shrugs) Anyone have any ideas on other augmenting options? Add something like phentermine? I don't think protriptyline (an NRI) is going to cut it. Atomoxetine 80 mg hasn't, desipramine 200 mg hasn't, and nortriptyline 150 mg hasn't either. I've tried amoxapine up to 150 mg I think, but it doesn't feel too potent, and has dopamine blocking, and maprotiline I'm afraid of the seizures and the sedation/weight gain... Kinda thinking about giving an MAOI another try, but my pdoc is so so so stingy with those...
  3. As far as I am informed you need stimulants for treatment of ADHD. Most commonly used are Methylphenidate and Atomoxetine. Sometimes stuff like Bupropion is applied. But what about classic antidepressants with stimulant (NRI) properties? Let's say Desipramine or Nortriptyline, Reboxetine!? Can they help to some degree?
  4. I am so very lost, angry, hurt, depressed, explosive, and drowning. I was put on latuda or my bipolar and depression acting up... I hate new meds for this reason. I started having my ptsd dreams again, ate everything in site and craved sugar omg terribly, have been depressed, cant color which i love to do, just wanna sleep, explosive anger, crying jags, hate life, nothing makes me happy, everything just sucks. Im so angry cause i feel like i did before i went on any meds, 20yr ago. Im so confused i just feel like im grasping at air.. I was in the er the other night and they basically sent me home after giving my dose of larzapam i didn't take in the afternoon cause i doesn't help. My theory of it is it didn't help before the latuda what is gonna make it work coming off latuda or after off.. I remember why i drank now.. I didn't need to feel this then.. I want to drink so bad and wont cause I've been clean 6 yrs April will be 7 and i worked to hard to get here and refuse to prove others right. Im so so messed up i cant sleep cant watch TV cant color yet dont want to do any of the above either but if i dont sleep i hurt... has anyone felt this way.. It sux cause the battle to find meds to work will start tomorrow cause my liver doesn't process meds it flushes them out.. oh well sorry just needed to vent and hope someone can help
  5. Hello all, I'm looking for some med experience/anecdotes! I am bipolar and also have anxiety, ADHD, and PTSD. Currently I'm taking Lamictal (400mg/day), Geodon (80mg/day), and Adderall (25mg/day). I'm looking to change it up because I am seriously struggling with the side effects. Since starting Geodon I am tired all the time (it doesn't help that I'm in the midst of a depressive episode) and I've gained 20+ pounds in two months. I think it's helping with the manic side (or maybe that's just because of the depressive episode I'm in?) but I can't deal with these side effects. The Adderall works great for my ADHD but I think it's making me too edgy/irritable for my liking. On top of it I have been having terrible anxiety lately. I'm meeting with a new PMHNP next week and I like to research my med options ahead of time so that I feel more informed and can advocate for myself. I'm interested in Wellbutrin because it doesn't have weight gain associated with it, it helps with binge eating and supposedly helps you quit smoking (both current concerns of mine), and can work for both depression and ADHD. I'm also interested in Buspar as a possible anxiety med? I like that it also isn't associated with weight gain and that it isn't supposed to be sedating. I've also taken Abilify in the past (before I took Geodon) and didn't experience any terrible side effects other than it making me sleepy but maybe combined with the right thing that wouldn't be as much of an issue? Anyone have experience with this combo or a similar one? Any and all feedback appreciated! The med game is so overwhelming.
  6. Hello, amigos. It’s day 3 on Ritalin SR 20 once a day, finally prescribed after « doctor shopping » and faulty antidepressant tryouts. It kicked in right away however I did take a nap today shortly after taking it but that’s probably my body’s usual reaction to fighting off anything new to the system. It worked right away which is a miracle!!!!!! I have the worst job in the world which is dishwashing in my family’s restaurant, basically waiting to die. Well! Let me tell you, the soul crushing agony of a wasted 41 year old woman’s life were momentarily alleviated by focus, order, and execution. I just got on with it. S’ppose it coulda been a Placebo (great band) effect but I’ll take it. Having run the gamut of, oh, every antidepressant to no avail, the last being Trintellix, which after a month left me exhausted, though I’M SURE it would’ve worked after six weeks ? So experienced créatives,my questions to you are: Has adding an antidepressant to your current stimulant (preferably Ritalin) made you exhausted/fried and if so for how long? Is Prozac a lost cause, especially according to Dr Charles Parker ? Ixnay on Celexa, Citalopram, Abilify, Viibryd, Trintellix, Cymbalta, Effexor...those last three were great for a 2 or so months then I slept all day, modalert didnt make a dent..Zoloft I would say I’ve had the most success with but maybe I should do the Ritalin for a couple months before reintroducing? And finally, Wellbutrin was great until the Cicadas in my head....I.E Tinnitus made me want to inpatient myself. Thank you!! tl;dr dx’ed MDD, no bipolar traits and other failed depression treatments include Valdoxan (Agomelatine), Doxepin, Celexa was a goddamn disaster. I aint doin’ no MAOI’s, thanks. Also I live in France and Ritalin was extremely difficult to get prescribed. Thanks, Steph
  7. Hello everyone, I am female age 49, have been on Adderall for ADD 3+ years. Starting at 5mg tabs twice daily and now at 10mg tabs twice daily. Adderall has changed my world, the focus is incredible and it really helped with work as a magazine publisher. I can no longer do my job because of severe arthritic symptoms. *I had a conversation with a college professor in the pediatric medical field, he stated that new evidence shows that Adderall can cause debilitating joint/muscle pain and damage, weakness, and maybe permanent damage in some patients. Apparently, new study information was published in 2018 stating joint/muscle injuries and pain in children taking Adderall. Can anyone help me find the study? I want to know about your adult experience. Is this happening to anyone else taking Adderall? My question is... Should the company that makes Adderall be warning doctors 'not' to prescribe to people with pre-existing conditions??? Does anyone else out there have symptoms like I do??? Anyone else out there have arthritis before taking Adderall and have arthritic symptoms quickly become debilitating??? My Symptoms: Within the past two years, my arthritis symptoms have quickly changed from mild to severe and debilitating, to the point where twisting the cap to open a bottled water is unbearable. Holding a fork while eating dinner is painful. I fight through the pain while tying shoes, doing dishes, standing for more than 5 minutes etc... Every joint is affected, shoulders are the newest pain that began about 9 months ago and now shoulders are so bad I need assistance putting on my winter coat. If I must be active, for example vacuuming, doing dishes, wrapping presents and walking through the mall for 2 hours, all in the same day, the following 1-2 days I suffer with double the pain/inflamation and fatigue! My hands, feet, hips, shoulders, neck/back and arms hurt, I drop and break baking dishes by accident because it is painful to grasp. These are just a few examples of the issues. My History: I was born with 'Stickler Syndrome', a genetic connective tissue disorder which causes early arthritis. At age 32 I started feeling stiff, at 35 I started taking celebrex, and still take it. At 47 and 48, I was doing great, walking 12 miles over 3 days on a trip to New York City. Stiff yes, but not much pain. This year my body has changed to that of a 105 year old or worse. An arthritis specialist did a battery of tests for all the common causes, rheumatoid, lupis, lyme and others. All tests negative. X-Rays show osteoarthritis in all joints. Please let me know if anyone else is experiencing this!
  8. Hi there, I am wondering if I could get advice regarding what type of professional is needed to diagnose ADHD? What type of training, background, credentials, etc? There have been hints that I may have ADHD (inattentive). I have seen a clinical psychologist who told me she has neuropsychology experience (her PhD or PsyD is in Clinical Psych). The tests she said she'd give me are the WAIS (Wechsler); the Woodcock-Johnson Cognitive Ability test, and the Taylor Manifest Anxiety Scale test (I do have diagnosed anxiety, and I have to say that IF I have ADHD , it does seem to be helped somewhat with anti-anxiety meds). I guess my question is this: how much subjectivity is involved in analyzing these tests? This provider is covered by my insurance, but I'm not super thrilled with her experience (school counselor who seems to be fairly new at working with ADHD folks). There is a neuropsychologist in my area who is supposed to be extremely good but is not covered by my insurance and the testing/reports/recommendations would cost over $2,000 all out of pocket. Please note that if I DO get a diagnosis of ADHD, I would not be getting counseling from either; I would simply see if adding a small amount of stimulant (or other) medication would help me. I would rather not pay that much money IF the testing is relatively objective and the results would likely be the same regardless of who administers the tests. Thank you!!
  9. Hi everyone. I'm here today seeking your advice. I have recently had Wellbutrin XL 150mg added to my cocktail of 5 years, Prozac, Klonopin, and Trazodone. It is being used to augment the Prozac and to address symptoms of lack of motivation, concentration, focus, drive, and apathy. I have only been formally treated for Depression, GAD, and Panic disorder, with there being discussion about potential ADHD. This is important. The Wellbutrin has been treating me wonderfully. It was a slightly rough start up, but I no longer feel "speedy", and dear god I might even feel..NORMAL? I have my motivation back. I have my energy back. My focus is back. I'm feeling creative again, I have new ideas, new projects I'm working on, actually PURSUING those new projects....this is so different from what I am used to. The apathy for the most part is also gone. That being said, I did some research on Wellbutrin and ADHD because these things I'm feeling, are different from when medications have worked for my depression. Before the Wellbutrin I was NOT depressed. So I thought, what if the Wellbutrin is helping with the ADHD my psych had brought up awhile ago? Upon further research, I have found that people actually DO take Wellbutrin for ADHD. The first thing I ask, which obviously can ultimately only be answered by my psych, is that if what I was feeling was not a partial response to my SSRI, but more so untreated ADHD symptoms? Did the symptoms I list in the first paragraph resonate with any of you? Second...if for some reason I eventually do end up on an ADHD stimulant medication, I am worried about two things. The first thing being that ADHD medications have potential for abuse, and I have a past of drug abuse. I used opioids though, and never really cared for stimulants. Do things like Adderall or Ritalin cause any cravings or reinforcing behaviors in you guys? Or for the most part, have they only helped you? Second, I am scared about being seen as a drug abuser by my pharmacy since I would be prescribed a stimulant AND a benzo. I had a bad experience with another pharmacy regarding my Klonopin prescription, and since then I have just been kind of ashamed by some of the things I present to my current pharmacy, even though it is all in my head and the pharmacy staff is full of lovely non-judgmental people. So, is it out of the ordinary to be prescribed something like Adderall with Klonopin? I apologize for the walls of text. Please let me know what you think, because this has been very eye opening for me, and I do not get to see my psych for another 2 months. Obviously for now I am just going to be grateful for the Wellbutrin, and will not be seeking out anything new, this is all for what is possible for me in the future. Thank you so much for helping me.
  10. Hello there! Brief history: ADD has been mentioned to me a few times in the past, but I never took it seriously and had some other mental health issues I felt needed to be addressed (OCD, depression). I've recently started up with a new doctor and she said my ADD should be addressed and as I've come to learn, may have contributed to my depression and OCD anxiety, along with issues I've had my whole life. My main question is this... school has always been difficult for me and I know that's super common with ADD. Does anyone else feel like they have trouble reading? I feel like sometimes the words are overwhelming and I need to follow along with the words with my finger in order to focus on the sentence. It takes me forever to get through a book. It doesn't feel like dyslexia because I don't think I mix words up or anything, but I seem to have trouble comprehending what I'm reading if I don't really strain myself to focus. Just wondering if anyone else had this experience and if it is ADD related.
  11. hello all, i'm having a lot of trouble with some inattention/hyperactivity and i've been seeing psychiatrists for 16 years+ now but only recently my pdoc started suggesting i have some ADHD symptoms and i was wondering if those of you who have ADHD for sure and have been aware of it for a long time validate some symptoms for me? like do you experience the same kinds of things? - inability to sit in lectures for longer than 10 minutes, feeling like need to move and feeling like "being on fire" and needing to leave? - inability to read for longer than 10-15 minutes, lose thread of thought, feeling almost like emotional pain because can't go on with reading? - same for everything that requires concentration for longer than 15 minutes? - at work doing 1000 things at the same time (write 3 words in an email, then go back to the Word document, then adjust music volume, go back write another 5 words in the email, check another email, forget to add attachments etc etc) - panic while watching movies bc losing track of what's going on have to take a break? the problem is i also have borderline and boredom is a huge thing for me, and i can't escape boredom but is it bc i can't pay attention? or just.. what? WHAT'S GOING ON I'M SO CONFUSED?? could i really have had ADHD for years and decades and never realized it until now that i've stabilized my bipolar on meds? is that a thing? pls help guys thanks i'm not a freak right.
  12. Does anyone else find that the days you take your stimulant, you sleep like baby at night and wake up refreshed? I do! I'm so happy that I am finally getting restful and conistent sleep with the help of Adderall. I take 10mg IR once in the morning and sometimes I take a second dose around lunch or dinner. I was reading good article abut it. Let me get the link. It's from Tuck.com. If it's accurate information, it seems very informative. https://www.tuck.com/stimulants-and-sleep/
  13. Hello again friends. It has been a few years. I was HaloGirl66. Or IndyMode. I can't remember. But I re-registered because I couldn't recover my old user info. I've had severe insomnia, ADHD, GAD & Migraines for years and am now going through a bipolar diagnosis. So hello again. -Mandy
  14. I am 22 y/o and have filed for SSI twice. The first time I got denied I didn't appeal within 60 days so I had to apply all over again. Now I am going through to extensive appeal process and no lawyer seems to want to help me. They claim since I am young, I almost need to have schizophrenia or an autistic/spectrum disorder to be able to actually be approved and get benefits otherwise it is going to be very hard to get SSI. Now here are some of the facts of my case. I was fired from my job last November due to "no call, no show" because I was in a bipolar depressive episode where I literally didn't leave my room but maybe 5x to make a microwave meal and shower once. This episode lasted a little bit shy of 2 weeks. So for my 3 no call, no shows I was terminated from my job at University. I asked if they would accept a physician's note explaining my circumstances but the manager actually refused documentation, saying "No it's not necessary, I don't need that". She also said that I should have called and at least have told her what was going on so she knew I couldn't come in, but let's be real guys, doing that during a severe bipolar depressive episode is like writing a PhD dissertation in less than a day. So I applied for unemployment and get a denial letter saying I am denied benefits of $50/week because they contacted my former employer and was told I was terminated for misconduct. So that was the end of that. I had applied for SSI last year around August I would say and was denied 1st time. Re-applied December and got denial letter again, this time on Feb. 8th stating "your conditions are not severe enough for you not to work. You are capable of substantial gainful activity". Yet on my listed disabilities I listed epilepsy (reoccurring grand-mal seizures), bipolar disorder NOS, insomnia NOS, ADHD, generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks, manic episodes, social anxiety disorder, delayed sleep phase syndrome, and listed all the medications I was on and how some of them has side effects that were impairing themselves. Has anyone here who is young actually gotten approved for SSI benefits? If so, how many times did it take for you to finally get approved and did you use a lawyer to help you through the process? Also, if you don't mind, what conditions/disabilities did you report to them that you believed qualified you for SSI or SSDI? I can't apply for SSDI because I don't have enough work credits so I can only apply for SSI. This whole process kinda sucks and is difficult especially for people with disabilities. So frustrating.
  15. So I met a guy who I really liked. We went on a few dates, then I ended up spending the night last night. Once I got home, he texted me and asked me what medications I took this morning, which I was honest. He said that hasn’t scared him away, but he has been distant and stopped texting me. I know the answer, but it just makes me depressed how stigmatized we are as a community and I wish I never spent the night with him. I’m sorry for the long rant. Anyone else experience anything similar while dating?
  16. So I went to my doctor on the 19th . An the last couple months have been horrible for my memory an my ability to focus . Like I can't remember dates at all if I don't. Write anything important down I will forget it in 5 minutes . And that has been a main cause of a lot of anxiety an frustration . I plan to go to school an I'm scared I will flunk out cause I won't be able to retain the information . I told my doctor my fears and she said one that a nurse can not diagnose anything . And two my memory problems could just be my biploar slowing down my brain which is common . And that ADHD. Medication can mess with bipolar so I would have to get tested by a specialist before anything else happens . I'm honesty confused cause I always been told I had ADHD or that I had problems concentrating
  17. Psych Dx: treatment resistant depression (major + persistent), generalized anxiety, adhd Psych Rx: bupropion 450 qd, buspirone 15 bid, adderall 20 am 10pm, clonazepam .5 prn Other Dx: celiac, gerd, vulvodynia/vulvar vestibulitis, oab, seasonal allergies, idiopathic chronic nausea, neuropathy, myalgia, & arthralgia Other Rx: myrbetriq 50 qd, pantoprozole 20 bid, topical estrogen qd, topical clobetasol prn, topical lidocaine prn OTC: mucinex 12-hour bid, vitamin D3 qd, fish oil qd, probiotic qd, zyrtec qd, nasacort qd, saline spray bid, melatonin prn Previous Psych Rx: seroquel, depakote, lamictal, remeron, trazadone, lithium, ambien, sonata, zyprexa, lexapro, prozac, temazepan, xanax, rozerem So I've clearly been on a lot of meds over the years (since first being put on seroquel in early 2013) partially because I was initially misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. I've been on my current cocktail for quite awhile, and I had been doing pretty well with my depression but it's gotten significantly worse lately due to some life events + unyielding chronic pain that has been getting worse for the last two years. For the neuropathy I tried gabapentin for several months and it did absolutely nothing. I've been suggested Lyrica (which even with my good insurance is still $100 a month or $200 for 3 months with a mail order pharmacy which is a lot more than I can reasonably afford) and Cymbalta. Does anyone with depression and/or neuropathy have any experience with taking Cymbalta and Wellbutrin together? The two SSRIs I've taken (lexapro & prozac) in the past both gave me severe gastrointestinal side effects and I wasn't able to stay on them long enough to see if they even helped. It would be great to have a cheap, generic drug improve my nerve pain and depression, but I'm nervous about trying another SSRI. I'm also fairly uncomfortable with the idea of going off bupropion, bc it's been pretty damn effective if not adequately so. Because when I wasn't on bupropion I was a MESS and I'm afraid of going back to that level of depressed. Also curious if anyone has any success with using any med, Cymbalta or otherwise, as an adjunct treatment for depression? I have recently gotten back to therapy so I'm hoping that will help some but it's hard to follow through on anything from my therapist (or from my physical therapists, doing anything besides going to work & sleeping) bc of executive dysfunction, constant fatigue, pretty severe anhedonia, general feeling of emptiness.
  18. Hi guys, so I am currently still in the process of finding my correct dosage of Adderall, but I had a question for those who have had more experience with the drug. How do you feel when your dosage is too high? Since we're still adjusting I want to know what to look for in myself to tell if I need to scale it back or if it feels right. I've heard some people say they feel like robots if the meds are too high, but I'm not sure if there is anything else really obvious that I should look for. I'm guessing too much of a euphoric feeling? Like maybe how people feel when they get high on Adderall? Maybe high heart rate? Anyways just trying to be safe with this drug. I really don't want to abuse it or take too much if I don't need it. I know everyone is different, but just thought I'd ask for some opinions. Also, I've heard some people say you build up a tolerance and some people say you don't... any thoughts on this? Thank you in advance!!!
  19. I turned 30 recently. I live in a city with 5mn people. I'm reasonably attractive and have been for most of my adulthood (not to sound arrogant), but STILL FOUND IT HARD TO MAKE FRIENDS. I make people laugh, smile, people flirt with me... but a couple things have held me back. -I lost a lot of weight when I was younger, almost 80-90lb. I have some excess skin. I am getting rid of it this month. -I didn't realize but I was treated wrong when i was 20-21... I have ADHD and sometimes I feel definitely or maybe not Bipolar II. They've both been diagnosed. -I had to spend a hell of a lot of time, when I was mistreated with SNRI medication, to adjust my life. I stopped smoking, eventually stopped drinking. My friends for years were other substance abusers. WHen I was younger, I had made friends easily at times - but they were popular, and I was kind of popular, to very popular, to not popular and not trying at times throughout my life. I want to leave my current city. BUT, I wanted to leave the city I grew up in. Eventually i had to, because there was an extortion period... where I was a victim and got into a lot of trouble. Financial ruin, academic ruin etc. Ever since... I feel better when I do better in school or in working out. But I've maybe gone out on 20 first dates, and a couple more. I feel one needs to have sex immediately, otherwise they have no chance of having a real relationship. I messed it up because I was insecure about my excess skin (not that bad) but it made me nervous. Also at times I had an impaired sex drive - and I am now using NOFAP to help that. It does really help. BUt now, I'm correcting the skin issue --, and I'm trying to do nofap (hard with ADHD and Bipolar, but I think its necessary for me to have strong relationships with women). I think ideally I have a few best male friends, and while I won't be as outgoing as some of my social butterfly friends, I can still make people enjoy their time and I enjoy my time, and I go out with girls that interest me. How come everyone I know is on facebook and everywhere, and loves to go out... AND I can't act normal. I wake up at crazy hours, go to bed in the day when I'm really depressed. Everything just messes me up. I went to two universities... graduated late, thought I'd save up for the abdominoplasty, and things would get better. I started losing hair on stimulant medication but still looked nice and well. But I lost more hair on lamotrigine. Meanwhile, I am beginning to feel and its crushing... that the only way I can even have a "semi-normal" life is on medication. ANd its fucking heartbreaking, because no matter what I do I'm going to be alone. I didnt trust people for a long time, and my parents and family were narcissistic, so I self medicated and drank a lot. BUt, I corrected that. Well I quit substance abuse mostly, worked out, ate well, became attractive and fit - that didn't solve my problems. Occasionally I succeeded in what I attempted in school and work... it didn't solve my problems. I feel eccentric and I don't want to be. It's great I can charm others but I used to not give them a chance, or maybe I wasn't giving myself a chance. Are there any Bipolar II/ADHD people that feel alone still? As an obese smart boy I was alone, fledgling in I.B., and in universities (2) , I was alone. Girls ignoring me, to later flirting with me and actually occasionally asking me out (mostly its the guy's job), I'm still alone. I have too many black marks on me now. I can't win.... and I don't get it. I can't go on another 20 or 30 years or 1 year like this. I truly can't. It doesn't make any sense... I'm not stupid, I'm not ugly, I still can't decide a career. What I want is impractical because I can't have a normal life anyways, but I desperately want one. I'm missing milestone after milestone. I was petitioning classes, my cousin was graduating Harvard. I was wondering wtf was wrong with me, my brother was starting medical residency. Everything I do destroys something else. I have law school as a back up plan. But the market is bad, and my grades aren't that good either. AND I'd hate it except for litigation maybe later. I want to be a person who loves their life, not goes through the motions. Will a mood stabilizer or some combo of meds help me : -get to work on time -be more optimistic about career chances, and love. -allow me to ignore the thousands of missed opportunities dating (due to sex drive, not realizing I was attractive, being SHY/awkward, being speedy, hyper, and being behind in my work and needing to catch up otherwise -- I'd be fired/ fail). -AND BOND with others. I have had many best friends in life, and I move away or they move. people smile at me and come near me and when I don't look pissed off, or are not running around like I'm on a rampage (I move very fast, and walk very fast), they are inviting to me at times. Can someone please tell me if I can get what I want in life or if its too late? I don't want to be a burden on my family, I don't want to be a fuckup anymore. I don't want to be alone anymore either. And I just want to be free. -I know how to make people laugh, but I can't stay friends. I can't open my heart a lot of times. And I lash out and get mad and believe they are like my old friends and misusing me. I meet the prettiest girl and she likes me, but I feel she's trying to fuck me over. I become more confident (fit) and start losing some other good quality. I succeed a bit in school (past) and somehow lose time still. Every decision is last minute - last three places I lived. I just can't take it anymore. I can't be the only person in my family to struggle so much. I really think part of it is the city. I have two artistic friends that are either moving or have moved elsewhere. I have family in New york and everything I'm interested in is closer there.... My family doesn't believe in me half the time, or doesn't know how to show love/ faith in me. I don't want my life to pass me by. Will the right bipolar meds help me be a proper functioning adult? Living on my own helped me and got me closer to some goals. Trying new work is next... BUT, what if I'm still this loner that can't solve their problems? I wanted perfection before relationships... but that doesn't make any sense and will never happen. You don't need to be perfect. But every single medication I take fucks me up in some way. Every career I want negates the chances of the other ones. I was so full of life and I loved people as a kid sometimes.... but now fuck... I try to smile. I felt happy on lamotrigine but I felt like dying with some of the side effects. I don't get it why can't I find a solution. I want to see the bipolar specialist again after my surgery at the end of the month. Even my younger cousin will be done Medical school before I can do anything with my career. WTF is wrong with me. I'm thinking of euthanasia these days, and its mostly cuz of side effects -- hair loss, and being doomed to need the hair drugs. AND even if those were not problems.... WTF how am I going to live a normal life now, if I haven't up until now?
  20. Hey, I was wondering if anyone knows whether a possible reaction i'm having can be part of this interaction. My pdoc says hes never heard of it and has no idea but I know that there may be others in the same situation. My morning meds are cymbalta alternating 60mg/90mg and biphentin 50mg which i usually take at the same time around 9 or 10 am. The problem I'm having is that before I started on the Biphentin, i never had withdrawal from the cymbalta unless i missed a dose by like 3 hours or more. Cymbalta is one of those snris with really bad withdrawal where you have to take it the same time every day. I'm now finding that I feel withdrawal (shaky, slurring words, trouble moving, exhaustion) even if i take it 24 hrs apart. I was wondering if the biphentin could be making the cymbalta metabolize quicker. Thanks,
  21. Hi, New to the site, this is my first post. I'm an undergrad sociology student in Canada. I've been working on my undergrad for 9 years and I am so close. I have 96 out of 120 credits that I need. Every day I feel like I'm pounding my head into a wall. I've been in the mental health system since I was 7 years old. I have so many different supports that I use, but at the same time I feel useless and pathetic. I am currently working on an assignment that is 5 weeks overdue. Classes are already over for the term but I have something like 12 assignments of varying lengths to finish. I have very understanding profs who will mark everything whenever I get it in, but all my diagnoses and medications and supports just make things difficult. I spend my parents money to see an adhd coach/mentor as often as I can because its essentially the only time I get my work done. Every week I see her and I get so much done, and I feel so confident afterwards, but then, I sit in front of my computer and I either start or don't and I keep getting stuck. I came home today sure i was going to finish this assignment tonight, and now I'm doubting I'll ever get it done. Every week I say I'm going to get so much done and I end up just sleeping. I also work in retail and I barely function well enough to get to work, even though I'm good at my job. My self care and activities of daily life, as I learned they are called today, are horrific. I shower maybe once every two weeks if I'm lucky, I brush my teeth about once a month. I haven't done laundry in about 3 months, and I end up just rewearing the same dirty clothes. I found this forum today while trying to find resources to help convince me that going to shave my beard is a helpful self care activity instead of a waste of time and an avoidance tactic, and I am super impressed with this board. I still have no idea how I'm ever going to finish school because I barely do any work and I start new courses in may. my bipolar depression has been awful because I feel useless and pathetic, but then I hope to get hypomanic when I take my adhd pills so that I can actually get shit done. I'm constantly tired and I use sleep as my number one avoidance tactic. Essentially I feel like a complete fuck up who's never going to accomplish anything except when I don't
  22. Hi,. Ever since I started on biphentin, I get very nauseous when I eat. It gets to the point that even looking at food or smelling it makes me feel like I'm going to throw up. Any suggestions?
  23. Hi there. I'm a male, late twenties. I was diagnosed (correctly) with ADHD a few years ago. I take dexedrine on and off (mostly on during school or work - but I take breaks). Many years ago I was prescribed Effexor XR (eventually Seroquel, Zoloft). I didn't realize at the time but (first time) I eventually became seriously Manic, and destroyed everything around me. That was my second year of university. That and untreated ADHD, and a lot of other bad things (that made me have to leave the country) happened - and it was really bad. I was dx G.A.D. then and later swore off all psyche meds ever. I got a lot better in some ways. Lost 30lb I gained, got better in sobriety, worked my ass off... BUT it was a major struggle. And quitting alcohol, later drugs, and smoking, and trying to piece together my life, and force myself not to be depressed/anxious - did not work. ADHD meds later helped with motivation, etc, but it was kind of late. I recently (1.2years ago or so) saw someone who is one of the "experts" on Bipolar Disorder Research, in North America. He diagnosed me or "strongly suspects" me of having Bipolar II. I got a prescription from my regular Pdoc for lamotrigine (that other expert is hard to see and is a research doc/lecturer mostly I think). It was the generic. I was scared to try it and waited 9 months. I gave up after a month due to swelling/ bloating. That was September. Now I tried Brand name (GSK) and I think its better, its been 17 or so days. But I may quit - for the same reasons and dry/irritated eyes. I'm very serious about fitness/ lifting weights and the bloat is sabotaging me there. And I really need a job and to apply myself to get into grad school sooner than later. I feel anxiety decreased dramatically and there are antidepressant effects in lamictal. And perhaps that and dex are a great combo... but I worry about side-effects and the fact that lamotrigine binds to melanin. My eyes felt like they were burning day 16-17 at times. I had "red -pen marks/ scratchy" like rashes a few days in week 2 on 25mg... But they just occurred a couple hours after taking the medication (around 10pm every night). This is probably the first medication or substance besides (alcohol, cocaine, original first time use of dexedrine/adderall) that "lifts" my depression. I wonder can I switch to something like Gabapentin? Is gabapentin good enough as a "mood leveler"? I usually can go out with people and be very fun to be around, for a while - but then I'm back on my own again. Like I did improv, was very funny, outgoing at different times in my teens and twenties --- but sustaining any relationships are HARD/ impossible for me. Agitation, impulsivity, anxiety, depression all seem to be reduced on Lamictal... Is there anything else that can do this and blend well with adhd meds? I don't think I need any cocktail of meds like those often prescribed for Bipolar I. My therapist (PhD -psychology), and pdoc (Psychiatrist) see me more as ADHD. But, that serious depression is something they don't really see. At 16 I thought it was anxiety, then at 18-19 I treated that, ruined everything around 20-21... And rebuilt my life, the next 4-5 years. I was happy to be 40-50% functional on ADHD meds, but it doesn't seem enough. I will not go back on anything like Effexor... but maybe Wellbutrin or Gabapentin will help. Any insight into this? Thanks for reading. Using only ADHD meds in my last university courses seemed to have helped -- but sometimes I was awake 3-4 days. This is kind of how I was during high school finals, job applications, two different universities - even without ADHD meds. BUT at least instead of taking lots of coffee and missing tests/ etc... I was alright. Getting B's and B+ on classes I hated at a school I hated... So that was OK, but now I'm off into the real world and need something more fast. I also think clearer, and such on lamictal. But it makes me fall asleep very late -- 9-10am... and while I sleep 8-9hours, its at the wrong time!!!!! I am planning a major surgery, deciding for or against law school, and getting more work experience in this year. TL,DR: -I am ADHD and Bipolar II (more time spent in depression). -Lamictal seemed to be better as an antidepressant than I've ever experienced. I used generic 30days and brand name now 17 days. -I'd like to quit and find something better, with less side effects. I'd like it not to mess with my ADHD treatment.
  24. Hi, I have sever social anxiety, depression and very likely ADHD (I'll get assessed for it soon hopefully). My GP prescribed me Citalopram 10mg, I'm starting taking it tomorrow but I was just curios because from reading around I understand it can make depression and anxiety worse at start. I was wondering if anyone had experiences with this drug and how was it?
  25. Hi, I am a 17 year old male with anxiety - mostly severe social anxiety - and depression. I've been suffering from the anxiety for my entire life and I always get it in social situations and whenever it comes to trying something new to the point where I avoid it. I find myself having bipolar/Adhd symptoms also. Since I know myself I would have daily mood shifts and find it difficult to pay attention to things as my mind always wonders off into constant daydream . In November/December I was under constant depression but with some daily manic moments. Now I've had a manic week with some depressive moments. Whenever I happy a manic/happy episode or depressive episode it's still not constant. For example today I woke up happy then got depressed when I thought about my non existent social life and how I want to be normal.i always try to push to be social but fail and get depressed. Because I'm in a happy /manic time, tomorrow I'll wake up happy and if my thoughts don't get too triggered I'll probably stay like that for the day. I'm waiting to get counselling but until then I was wandering on what you guys think I have? Am I bipolar with anxiety, ADD and bipolar, or is it something else? Thanks,
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