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Found 6 results

  1. Hello, I've heard a lot of stuff about bipolar disorder getting "worse" over time, but usually in reference to it being unmedicated. I'm 32, almost 33. I was only diagnosed 4 years ago, although I suspect I've had it essentially my entire life. I remember being depressed and suicidal when I was eleven. I just didn't realize I was suicidal because I didn't have a word to describe how I was feeling, at the time. So my question is: for those of you who are older than me - I mean like, over 35 - does this get worse over time? Does it get better? Does it not change? Could I look forward to maybe the latter part of my life being pretty okay? Is there a point where you're old enough that you basically just... calm down? Mom used to seem like she had a lot of problems, herself, but she never took medication and she seems like she's been fine starting with when she went through menopause. My own experience: Depressed around 9 y.o. Really depressed around 11 y.o... I got "better" when I was maybe 14 or so, and was okay until I was maybe 24. Then things went downhill, until I was diagnosed at 28, with a bumpy ride until around 30. I started taking medication when I was 29, and I still take medication. I still have a lot of anxiety and occasional suicidal ideation - particularly at night - but it goes in cycles. It gets worse in the spring, but it's been... less bad? I think the big change that made things a lot better was finding my current fiancé . I'm switching from Seroquel to Latuda (almost there), and hoping I can drop the lamictal and just take one pill for the rest of my life, but I don't know if that's possible. I just really wish it was.
  2. I'm new here. So, hi! Was just curious about what sort of age did it hit you? In Prozac Nation, Elizabeth Wurtzel, she says about 11yrs. Do you think this is possible? Opinions. Thanks.
  3. There are so many conflicting reports regarding whether or not BP gets worse as we age. I like to be prepared, which is why i usually need to look under every rock and hard place, no matter how scary it gets. Does anyone know about BP and growing older ? Anyone in the group who is experiencing BP as they're growing old ?
  4. so i just came down from a huge hypervenalating session.. and worried im gonna work myself up again. I think I need to give a quick background of my situation so this makes sense. I'm 29. i have an associate in graphic design. I have about a year left until i have a bachelors in graphic design. my mom has three degrees (occupational therapy, speech therapy and social work) and has been unemployeed for about 8 years and is dealing with issues of her own. ive lived with my mom and my grandparents my entire life. my grandpa is now 88, my grandma 85, my mom 59. we're all in metro detroit, michigan. i have a gappy employment history with nothing lasting over a year, if you don't count my internship that im at now (unpaid, it's a one person business (my boss)). Over the last few months, my anxiety has skyrocketed. I've started having almost daily anxiety attacks. The major thing that triggers me is dread of the future. I think if I write this down it'll help.. it usually does. So the big factors I panic about are: 1. that I've choosen the wrong career, especially for this economy, and that I won't be able to find a job or get hired as a graphic designer, and that I might not even be able to get hired at some minimum wage retail job. 2. that my mom won't be able to support herself, and that there is no way I would be able to support her. I know she does more, but it seems like all she does right now is sit in her room listening to music. At least she started seeing my med doc, and my doc said she can help my mom get on disability. I really hope she'll be able to pull herself out of what's happened, becuase it wasn't always like this. she had a stable job when I was a teenager. Stuff happened that screwed up her life in my mid 20's. 3. what my mom and I will do when my grandparents/her parents are no longer with us. I have laid out a plan, but I still panic. If anything else, both of us get full time minimum wage jobs, and she hopefully will have disability as well. we move to some place that's warm so there's no cold winter, and rent the cheapest 2 bedroom apartment we can find, where the area is semi-decent, and there's jobs. maybe somewhere in texas. So, those are basically the areas that I panic daily over. I think it helped that I wrote it down somewhere. I'd write it in my blog here, but I thought other people would relate to panic over a career in this crap ass economy. I also worry about how our state of living will be (or whatever it's called). I also get really depressed because I did really well in h/s and college, and my mom has three degrees and got like 4.0's all the way through.. and the thought that both of us will end up working at some minimum wage jobs is beyond depressing. I think back to something I said to myself at my first job as a library page when I was 16 ("well, this is just a JOB, not my CAREER") and I start crying because I think, I might just end up back in that very same kind of job again, 20 years later. I think I'm not looking at things logically when I get like this. I know my mom's situtation has affected me in a huge way. I also know the last time I tried finding any kind of job (cashier, etc) was around 2009-2010, which was the height of unemployment in Michigan. Now, the rate is slowly going back down (it's at 9% now I think, back in 09 it was at 14%, I think the highest it ever went was 15%.) My grandpa says its cause everyone's leaving Michigan (lol) but even if that is the case.. eh it leaves a bit more jobs open for the rest of us left here, right? I guess it just boils down to the fact that I'm freaking out that I won't be able to get hired and have a job that pays enough to live off of, and what to do if my mom is with me.
  5. I'm 28 years old. Every 'Age Milestone' I go through seems to be years off of the norm. Milestone #1 - living on your own. I'm still living at home (that's a can of worms for another day.) In a nutshell, 3 generations are living together, and it's causing me a lot of stress because of the strain between certain family members I both care deeply for. So, there's milestone #1 - living on your own, that I never crossed. I'll be around 10 damn years late for when people set out to live on their own. Milestone #2 - romantic relationships. The first thing I'd consider an actual 'relationship' started when I was in my early 20's. If you can call cuddling and a around two brief uncomfortable light kisses on the lips (NO TONGUE), a 'relationship', It lasted a month before it became too stressful for me and I broke it off. He said he 'loved me' and it was just too much I hardly felt anything more for him than a close friend. It was also stiffing. I felt smothered. From that point on I never dated again. So once again, the milestone of relationships that develop into more serious relationships most people are start exploring and eventually crossing in their late teens/early twenties, I have yet to cross at all.. I guess it isn't a surprise that I'm still a virgin at 28. Two years ago from 30. Most girls lose their virginity anywhere from their late teens to their early 20's. I feel like there's something severely off with me if I'm 10 years late to the party on even *starting* the process of dating that might lead to something more intimate. Milestone #3 - Financial security. I have none. Most people seem to have forged out their financial futures in their mid 30's. Considering that's like 7 years away from me... well who knows. I'm going back to get a bachelor in fine arts (i have an associate in graphic design -publishing track, with a year certificate in web design. But competing against people with bachelors and 15 years experience makes it near impossible to find a job with just that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's it for the milestones for now. I just felt depressed and wanted to write to someone somewhere over the entire thing. I know that these milestones aren't for everyone, but ti still doesn't help the sting when I feel like I've fallen off track for the past 10 years. Thanks for taking the time to listen. It's something that's been plagging me for years with feelings of insecurity and whatnot. Thanks for listening, whoever happens to be up. At least I'm not the only one dealing with crap like this.
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