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  1. I got in a massive fight with some well liked people at school last friday and everyone saw it so everyone hates me now and I was suspended for today. I don't know if I ever wanna go back since everyone hates me now. Everyone keep insisting to but it's a death sentence. Everyone will pester me for the rest of my life and I'll eventually get into another fight. What do I do? Do I go to school? How can I control my massive anger and impulsivity? It feels like Mel Gibson has become my spirit animal. There's a video on Youtube where he yells at this chick on the phone and it's very relatable. It's exactly how I act when I get mad.
  2. Respectful greetings, fellow crazies. I've recently ramped-up on Wellbutrin: 150mg for 6 days and then 300mg for 12 days (18 days total). Overall it's slightly helping the multitude of mental illnesses I have (TRD, "Pure" OCD, other stuff). However. About 7 days after hitting 300mg Wellbutrin I started experiencing incredibly intense anxiety primarily (physically shaking, gut-churning, mind-racing, skin-crawling kind). I also started feeling erratic, intense irritability and even anger - (verbally) lashing out at my kids and other unpleasant out-of-character behaviour. I've seen anxiety from Wellbutrin reported 100's of times before but I couldn't find information on how to combat it. This is because normally people just stop taking it (which makes eminent sense) but that's not an option for me since I'm 23 years TRD (including resistance to ECT, dTMS and Ketamine) and this is one of the last combos left. In other words I'm beyond desperate to give it every chance of working that I humanly can. I'm now gonna blurt out my questions and suggestions and hope that some of you can identify or comment from your own experience: I have some Valium left over and taking that does take the edge off of the severe emotions. However taking benzo's long-term is generally undesirable, hence has anyone taken a non-benzo adjunct/augmenting med that actually helps tone down the insane anxiety? If so, what was it? how long did the intense anxiety last for those who experienced it? 2 weeks? a month? until you stopped the med? did anyone have success in simply reducing dose back to 150mg or even lower? Did you find 150mg sufficient to lift your mood? I'm on 300mg XL as of today (was on 2x150mg XL 'til now). Have folks had different experiences (anxiety-wise) with the IR or SR versions? E.g. would switching to 3xIR be an avenue worth chasing? any other relevant insights or experiences would also be most welcome. May the Gods of mental health be with you, Pete
  3. So I suffer from split thinking quite a lot. People are good, or they're bad. No in between. And when they're bad, I go apeshit crazy. Fuckin mad episodes of rage. For those with BPD (or any of the cluster B personalities), how do you control your anger/impulses when your emotions skyrocket?
  4. I have finally decided to go off Wellbutrin (Bupropion/Zyban) as I just cannot live with this anger and rage attacks any longer. I spend my day swearing, (I can’t fit enough swear words in a sentence), clenching my hands until they are rigid, screaming and hurting my throat, telling myself I wish I was dead and having even more intrusive thoughts than normal, even thoughts that wake me up in the middle of the night and I respond by telling myself to fuck off while I‘m laying there in bed. The anger has alarmed me and I can feel the cortisol surging through my body. I’m getting off this medication by myself without help because I went to see my psychiatrist the other day sand he virtually dismissed me and was clearly annoyed with me for having too many side effects and he was frustrated at how difficult I was to treat. There was no sympathy whatsoever. He said we’ve exhausted all avenues. I felt like a fool for not responding correctly to medications that he thought should work. It was a waste of money seeing him and I’m sick of doctors telling me it’s worth having numb genitals or inability to orgasm if you find a pill that gets rid of your depression. The doctor was frustrated with me before for all the pills I’ve been on that I couldn’t tolerate because of sex issues. The Wellbutrin didn’t do anything negative for me sexually (it seemed to have a big improvement on me sexually, actually), but the insane anger is just too much to live with. The anger was over the most minor of things, such as the vacume cleaner cord getting tangled, or losing internet connection. I’m currently on Lamotrigine 200 mg by itself which I hope will help my depression/anxiety.
  5. Hi there, I have had great success taking Trintellix (10mg) along with a small dose of Klonopin (.5mg) for a little over a year to control anxiety. However, I have recently noticed that the smallest thing can make me really angry. Often this is when I am under some stress (that's another issue -- I stress out extremely easily, but that has ALWAYS been an issue). This is anger directed at others, not usually myself (although I feel quite guilty once I realize that it was no big deal). Sometimes it's pretty bad anger (and I'll nag and give lectures to my kids, for example, for very little reason); other times it's just being extremely annoyed (usually it's the latter). I have always been the type to get stressed over little things; the Trintellix has not helped with that (but has helped tremendously with anxiety/panic). However, I feel like I'm angry much more often than I used to be. Could it be that I need to up my dosage from the 10mg? Or could it be that Trintellix can actually cause anger? Or could it be that consistent therapy is in order (can this sort of thing be "cured")? I feel like I'm ruining my marriage because I get angry at every little thing my husband does/doesn't do. One additional note: I am post-menopausal (about 4 years; went through menopause young). Could hormones still be at play? I do have a ton of hot flashes still, so I know I haven't completely adjusted. Thank you for any input!
  6. After an absolute horrid vacation with my spouse I basically said either you go or we go to counseling.. I also asked him to make the appointment cus her replies on me to do too much. It appears I am different on meds, I am not who I was. I am bipolar so completely nuts at all time. I am not. I am stable and he is an asshole. So my ? is: have you done marriage counseling? did you find it worth while? Any info surrounding this topic is appreciated.
  7. I've read on here that people are experiencing anger when on Wellbutrin and after reading that I'm wondering if that is happening to me also. I had thought the anger was independent of the drug, but it's getting worse and now I'm concerned it's the drug. I'm on 150 mg. I'm also on Lamictal 200mg. Would increasing the Lamictal help with anger, or is there something else that would help, not of the SSRI variety. Obviously I'll talk to the Dr about this but at over $100 per appointment I can't seem him every week. I could put up with the anger, but it's turning into rages and I feel exhausted afterwards and I have a sore throat from screaming.
  8. I have gotten into some bad arguments where I feel like I have explosive rage. I have had rage attacks before. Any tips on how to cope with one? It is suspected my attacks are a sometimes related to my menstrual cycle.
  9. I need help.im 15 and my birthday is in January.I have a medical Condition that effects my skin and it just cleared up and is getting so much better so I decided to go to a party with my aunt, my 3 cousins and Mum. My mum leaves early so I stay with my aunt and cousin. I had a great time it was my first party in like 2 years I felt like a normal teenager again. So that night everything was fine until the next morning. I decided that maybe I should stay there for one more night because we were still having fun and chilling but my mum didn’t like that. My mum is on medication for her emotions , you can never tell what she is going to do her emotions can switch in a second. Okay back to the story. So I try some of my cousins cream for my face because I don’t have mine and my mum said she wouldn’t bring it to me. My face went all red but I knew how to handle it but we still phoned my mum to ask her to bring up my cream that is medicated. So she brought it up to my aunts and just started shouting at me and wouldn’t stop going on and on at me. I almost felt like crying. As she was about to leave I told her I would phone her later but she told me not to bother and walked out.So when she went home my family was shocked at how angry she was. I let my frustrations out to my family and told them things about my Mum. (Just to let you know I am very depressed and go to a therapist but my Mum doesn’t like me to talk about her to my therapist so I don’t because she’s scary). Me and my cousin were watching a movie after being on our phones for a while so I sat my phone on charge and put it on silent so it wouldn’t disrupt us. The movie is a bout half way through and my mum phones my eldest cousins phone. She gets really mad and asks why I didn’t answer and I told her why but she sounded furious. After the phone call I check my phone and I only had two missed calls surely my mum can’t get mad at that and it’s not like I’m out somewhere dangerous I’m just with my cousins. I didn’t phone her back that night because she told me earlier when she visited not to phone her. Then I got a text saying what time she would pick me up at in the morning. Me and my cousins went to sleep but I kept my phone next to me so I would hear the alarm as I am a very heavy sleeper. So I got up the next day when my alarm went of and put my phone on charge while I got changed in a different room. After I got changed my aunt handed me the phone oh was my mum asking why I didn’t answer my phone so once again I tried to explain but she just got mad and hung up. I found this weird because my mum always moans that I never go out and I’m always in the house so I didn’t understand her paranoia of me being at my aunts. My mum shouted at me as soon as I got on the car. Once we got to the house she started screaming calling me a disappointment and many other hurtful things. I went to my room to get changed and cried a lot bit my mum made me sit in the living room with her. I was still a mess at this point. I couldn’t stop crying. She kept telling me to shut up and stop crying getting really angry. She stared saying things like you’ve embarrassed me and are a disappointment. It was very hurtful. I done nothing bad enough to get this treatment. I kept on saying I was sorry and I won’t do it again. She got angry and told me I’m not staying over at anyone’s again. She was acting like I was a criminal. She was saying things like if I want to act grown up then I can do everything for my self from not on and how she’s giving up on me. This really got to me I’m at the hospital a lot and I am also at therapy for depression and other things. She also kept on mentioning on how she’s my mother other things like that. I’ve tried to apologise loads but not once has she ever took my apologies into consideration. She honestly scares me so much. She always gets mad really easily and I’m always on edge. She has never physically abused me but mentally im almost dead. I’m now still crying and I am having really bad thoughts about how to let the pain out and that’s different to me because I’ve never thought this deeply about something like that before, I’ve never acctually wanted to do damage like this to myself before. I feel so ashamed. I really hate myself right now.What should I do?
  10. Today started off well enough with me relaxing and watching a documentary. Everything was just peachy until I got to work. The most minute things my manager did made me feel absolutely furious! I had to try keeping my mouth shut in order to keep myself from going off at her. She didn't even do anything major, she just wasn't grabbing the register and left it to the rest of us to do... and also wouldn't help us with making smoothies unless we asked her to... and a few other things-- okay, so she freaking sucks as a manager, that makes sense. But the degree of my anger was absolutely uncalled for. I found myself wanting to scream at her, burst into tears in the middle of my shift (even though I wasn't even that stressed), floor the gas pedal on the way home, and be pretty destructive overall. I did none of these things, thank god, but the feeling was still there. I heard people with bipolar disorder can be irritable, angry and aggressive sometimes as a symptom. Is this true?? This irritation and anger feels like it came out of nowhere. D:
  11. Hi y'all, I'm having a problem and I really am at a loss. I don't know what else to do. My boyfriend and I have plans to get married in April, we're both going to be 29 this year. I'm feeling like I don't know if I can go forward because of this problem involving his best friend. I introduced them a little over a year ago. They talk on the phone and text several times a day. He lends the friend money whenever he needs it. We live downtown and don't have a car, so he calls this guy first if he needs a ride, every time. They go party together twice a week or so. I really didn't have any sort of problem with any of this until I realized that the friend had no respect for me. It built up over time with small things and now I just don't want him anywhere near me. After attempts to squash hipster-racist and ignorant mysoginistic jokes in my house my concerns are laughed off and the jokes continue. This fella obviously doesn't respect me and tells my guy all kinds of things about me and my depression that 1) aren't true and 2) put a wedge in my relationship with my guy. I got yelled at a couple of months ago by the friend over a conversation that took place in my home with a few mutual friends. My boyfriend never stepped in to say that the things he was yelling at me for saying came from my boyfriend's mouth first. The friend told me I was wasting my life (I've been struggling lately and have stayed home a lot for the last few months) and when I told him to get out of my house he said that technically my boyfriend paid all of the bills here (untrue) so that I couldn't kick him out. I still kicked him out. Oh, he told my boyfriend that my crying fits/panic attacks are a "bipolar ruse" (I'm not bipolar) and not to "fall for it." I'm not sure what he means by that, but really, he isn't a doctor the last I checked. I've had multiple sit down talks with my guy about this situation. I know that I've tried to communicate about it. I try to look at the situation and break it down in pieces and try to tell whether or not I'm feeling this way because of external forces or if it is all inside myself. My feelings at this point are that 1) their relationship is unhealthy, 2) if this friend were a woman that it would be considered inappropriate, 3) if I had a friend who treated my guy like I've been treated they would cease to be my friend, and 4) the way they cling to one another it makes me feel like a third wheel in my own relationship. I'm trying to evaluate whether or not those feelings match reality, or if I'm just a victim of my own brain. I'm starting to think that I just get mad at the friend because it's easier than being angry at the man I love. Since my boyfriend knows how I feel, and I've requested space several times over the last 4 months and not gotten it, that the problem lies with my boyfriend. He obviously sees something in this overgrown man-child. I don't know quite what to say about it or how to say it, since I'm starting to feel like I can't marry someone who doesn't seem to care for how I feel. He loves me, calls me his family, is helping me to get help for my depression, but just doesn't seem to understand that I am serious about this. Bless your heart if you got through that mess. Thanks for reading.
  12. I have noticed that I can be completely relaxed and chill, but at times if someone says something or touches me without me expecting it, I can become instantly FURIOUS. Anyone else have this issue? Anyone have any suggestions on how to "bring it down"? I get extremely angry...literally wanting to become violent...at the drop of a hat. I feel bad, but I do not always know what to do about it. Any suggestions are helpful. Thank you in advance.
  13. I already ranted randomly in another topic, so won't do that here, but I have real issues with my anger a lot of the time. The slightest thing can really get me going - like real rage!! I mean, I've never hurt anyone, but I can really flip out. I feel high with it almost. Stupid little things... esp when I'm already feeling jittery. Anyone else?
  14. Today I saw my parents as they came up from California, and my dad has been saying the last couple days how He and I need to talk. Being 26 that doesn't exactly make my stomach drop anymore so I thought nothing of it. Today, I was told by both parents that I'm too negative (ahem-dad's bipolar and mom is hypochondriac) and they don't want me in their lives anymore. Really?But they still want to see my daughter. What in the fuck are they smoking? I know I've been really depressed lately, but is that something worth turning your back on your daughter? So...after my mother freaks out on me for a half an hour, I apologize for things I'm not sorry for, and they abruptly leave. I hope they enjoy their lives without me and my family.
  15. Over the past few days I've been quite snappy with my partner over small things like her not cleaning up after herself and other things I generally wouldn't be upset by. Pretty sure this is the beginning of hypomania again. Afterwards I usually feel fairly guilty and try to explain that I'm stressed or in a bad mood. I know everybody can get angry but it's very out of character for me except when I'm episodic. Today it happened at work. Thankfully it wasn't aimed at anyone and it was just me muttering expledetives as I passed through the office. Inbetween these pockets of anger I've been quite elated, getting along especially well with clients at work, possibly too well with some if that makes sense. Basically my coping mechanism is to remove myself from peoples company, have a cigarette and try to calm down. I massively overshared some stuff with a workmate at lunch and was completely unprofessional with some colourful types that lease a shed from me. Anyway I was wondering what coping mechanisms people have for this kind of thing. I see my pdoc on monday so hopefully we can med tweak or something before shit gets real. From past experience I feel thats not far away. So if my meds go awry which has happened before how do I run damage control. I'm thinking this is brought on by stress because our rental manager quit so I'm doing his job and mine. I haven't eaten lunch for 3 days now and I'm drinking coffee like it's water which probably isn't helping. My concern is I can be quite self destructive so if anyone has any advice I'd love to hear it.
  16. I am new to this place, so please forgive me if this is in the wrong catagory or place. If this violates the rules, I will gladly move it where a moderator tells me to move it. I honestly don't know where to begin. I feel absolutely lost. I have felt that way for years. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, Severe Depression, and Social Anxiety. I Have been put on Prozac (fluoxetine) 20mg to treat it. So far the meds haven't improved my condition at all, and I have been on them for almost a year. 'Bout all they do is make me sick to my stomach if I don't eat. I haven't been able to keep a stable relationship wether it is romantic, or simply that of friendship. Sometimes big things trigger a depressive state in me, sometimes it is little, almost silly things. As I look back on my early childhood I recall not fitting in, or getting along with others. The staff at the public school I was going to, both Elementary and High disliked me and my mother. After already been assaulted by a P.E. teacher in 3rd grade, the bullying by the students and what I would call is the ignorance of the teachers reached a boiling point. My year had already been ruined by some kid who disliked me who spread rumours around saying I had tried to kill myself. Even though at the time the thought of doing such never seriously crossed my mind. They also said I had threatened to blow up the school. So the resource officer pulled me out of class and rumaged through my stuff as a member from the board of education made insulting statements about how I choose to organize my back pack. Whilst that was going on the sherriff had went to my house and decided to barge in without a warrent and turn my room upside down looking for bombs. As if a kid in sixth grade would have the resources and ability to manufacture explosive devices. My back has been screwed up from that year to this point, after a kid assaulted me in the restroom and picked me up and slung me against the wall. Naturally I was blamed for it. Guess that is part of why I am screwed up. After I got to the high school things improved, but I still had anxiety, and nightmares. Before eigth grade my brother was killed in a car accident. He was the only one I could go to and talk to about things of this nature and feel better. I will never forget standing there in the hospital seeing my brother laying on that table, dead, blood covered, and bruised. It still haunts me in my dreams to this day. I have flashbacks to that and other horrible events. So after the stress was too much my mother pulled me out of school and home schooled me. As always that improved things, but nothing has ever been good for long in my case. Please don't take that statement too literally. For a while I was thinking heavily about it. I was put on trazadone by my doc. to help with my depression. I decided to take the entire bottle with intentions to kill myself. Well I was almost successful. My mother found me on the floor and made me vomit. I am thankful for her concern, but not thankful for the action. Though now I have no motivation to kill myself, I have no motivation to live. I infact welcome the thought of death. I am not a religious individual (please no debates on such) and the thought of my concious being snuffed out forever is almost morbidly appealing to me. I had started cutting myself for a while, but I stopped. When my depression flares up sometimes I slip up and do take the blade to my arms. Though I hate myself even more than normal because of such. The stress was so much I started smoking. (Please do not lecture me on how I should quit). I have a gnawing feeling at my gut that no one will read this and give a damn, but I guess this is one of those times, where for no reason I just ignore my gut instinct.
  17. Hello everyone. Just wondering if anyone else out there has to make every appointment for the afternoon or night because they constantly worry about it. Sometimes it used to be, if I had to get up at 11:00 a.m. I thought, "Oh shit, I'll have to get up around 9:30 a.m. and I'll be really tired if I can't fall asleep quickly-- or do fall asleep quickly and am still really tired--because I have to do my hair (somewhat), make-up, and the general "getting ready". For years now I have been nervous about , "what if I'm tired tomorrow?" When I have to go somewhere?? I don't get nervous if I know I'm staying home. It's gotten to the point where noon appointments made me nervous now 1p.m. makes me nervous. I feel better if its 2:00 p.m. or later. I've cancelled appointments because when I got up in the morning I felt too exhausted and just made up an excuse. I am sick of kind of being afraid of mornings...I remember as a kid I used to like getting up early and watch cartoons or play. I had an operation on my wrist where they had to remove one bone and fuse 4 other bones together.....I am really angry about this and get all riled up if I talk about it because I have arthritis now and it really f'ing hurts. I'm nervous that I'll never be the same again. I used to do yoga and pilates and I can't do a lot of the exercises or poses (forget about downward dog).....then I remind myself that people go through way tougher things than me (cancer, amputation, burns) then I feel really shitty. I so f'ing mad at myself, at my injury, at being obsessed....there isn't a forum for anger but I wish there was. I guess I'm obsessed about the amount of motion I've lost forever in my wrist. I want to stop but I can't. Whenever I try to rationalize it, it just comes back. I feel so fucking mixed up lately that I can't fall asleep because I can't stop thinking.....sometimes I wish I could sleep all day and when other people around me are hyper or just have more energy I get annoyed.....I know its a shitty thing to do...but I'm just being honest. Any one struggling with similar things???
  18. I was diagnosed with bipolar type 2, but I was not completely honest with what happens to me out of shame and guilt. These things are very hard for me to admit, and while I have before many years ago, I have no since. Until now. I do not know what to call it, but I am hoping someone can give me a little insight from their own personal experience of psychosis, mania, or any related experiences. I am also no longer taking medication currently. I struggle to swallow pills after two years of abuse. My body convulses when I try in remembrance of getting sick every day because of it when I was in my late teens. It has been 3-4 years since. When I hear mania, I think of happy. What I was told recently was high energy that everyone experiences differently. Mine seems to be anger. No, not anger. Fury. A wild and violent anger. Violent- to anyone who knows me this seems impossible. I am typically very calm and act just like any normal person. I take care of myself, my home, and my family. I'm doing well enough with my classes, etc. Even my SO tells me that 80% of the time no one would ever know something is wrong (unless I'm being depressed). Yet, when I get angry, no furious, it happens so easily and it is not normal. It can also happen in different ways. One way is how you may think of this rage. My body literally increases in temperature to the point where I could be sweating outside when it is snowing. I can feel the blood rushing to my head like someone is holding me upside down and a sinking, devastated feeling all at the same time. Then, as pathetic as I feel for saying this... I throw a temper tantrum. A massive two year old temper tantrum that can become violent if anyone interferes. I have choked someone who attempted to. I thrash the entire place causing damage to walls, floors, and break doors. I scream and cry agonizingly and for some reason, I literally cannot stop. It is as though I'm screaming for help because my body is on fire. I become cruel, furious, and out of control. Well, I have enough control not to hurt anyone who stands out of my way and that's it, so I am not dangerous to others as long as I'm given space to let it all out. It can go on for hours. It can be set off but paranoia. I can have realistic things that I am worried about, but fear them to the level of obsession which sets this fits off. I can fabricate problems out of tiny things and make them larger than they are. I'm often told I'm looking for something that isn't there to be mad at. The other type is much more worrisome. In a desperate attempt to control myself I become almost completely unresponsive, as if I am retreating into my own little world and paralyzing myself to try and keep control. I do not move for a long period of time and stare at the wall repeating a single sentence in my head. This typically happens when I start having intrusive thoughts of wanting to hurt someone. I will keep repeating to myself how badly I want to, and somehow it makes me realize how terrible that is, and as if thinking it over and over is getting that same relief, letting it out in a non-violent way. Or even if it is a different sort of thought, I will keep repeating it over and over, struggling to keep control of myself. These things are triggered by events only and I always know the reason. When it is over, I feel like an entirely different person and I have a hard time believing that I ever felt that way. During those times I also feel wired with energy, restlessness, but not sleeplessness. I can actually fall asleep like that if I enter the second state that I talked about and I can fall asleep that way. In the morning I end up feeling like it never happened. Please no negative thoughts, I'm trying to do something about this and feel bad enough for acting this way as it is.
  19. I'm starting to get into really deep stuff in my therapy sessions, about my best friend dying last year, about how cold my mother was to me, my overwhelming feelings that others do not care about me etc. All stuff that I can't " fix" or resolve. I have been in therapy for half my life, for 13 years with the same therapist, and it's suddently occurred to me that my time is being wasted. What is the point of talking about all these stuff? I have a deep attachment to my therapist and I feel like I am going just to have a " paid friend" or someone to talk to, or to be close to her and use her as a surrogate mom. Meanwhile as I'm depressed about all the topics we bring up, what work is my therapist doing? She's the one getting paid to do nothing but listen and intersperse advice meanwhile her weekends are freed up to party. I'm the one sitting at home angry and sad with no coping mechanisms to deal with the stuff we bring up in therapy. Can anyone give me any insight into why I should stay in therapy? Why do you go to therapy? How do you deal with the anger/depression outside of sessions that a session might have brought up. What should I tell my therapist about how I feel? If I come off as angry as I do in this post, I doubt I last long in the next session...
  20. Do any of you have a problem with explosive anger? I seem to be always slightly irritated about most things, which occasionally blows up into frightening displays of anger (screaming, throwing and breaking things). I always feel horrible after these episodes happen. Depending on the severity of the episode, I might be down for several days. And of course, there's all the apologizing I have to do. These episodes are different from the mixed episodes I get. When I'm mixed, I'm incredibly agitated inside and it's plain from looking at me that there's something wrong. I'm more likely to self harm when I'm mixed more than anything else. The explosive episodes seemingly come out of nowhere, though they do happen more often when I'm tired, hungry, etc. I try not to let that happen so it happens less frequently. Still, the severity of these episodes really frightens me sometimes. Most recently I got upset about a prescription not getting refilled, and I just lost my shit about it. I was driving WAY too fast, flipping off other drivers, and when I got home I started throwing things. Then I sent a very rude text to my pdoc. My family just kind of shrinks back and avoids me when I'm like that. Sometimes they can't, though, when I'm screaming AT them. It sets up a lot of self-loathing that doesn't do me any good. My pdoc is out of town at the moment but I'm scheduling an appointment as soon as I can for when he's back. I did send him an email detailing everything going on in my head and apologizing. He understood and said we need to be doing better with my meds if I'm having this much trouble. I've been doing some research lately since not all of my symptoms fit under the umbrella of bipolar, and I'm pretty sure I have GAD and OCD as well (I've always had PTSD). The OCD makes me obsess constantly about bad things happening, which I know contributes to my general overall tension from the GAD. I'm sure always being in such a tense, potentially irritated state doesn't help the anger problem. I just wish there was some time between getting angry and acting on it, because right now there isn't so I can't stop it before it happens. I think I'm mostly venting since I know the first thing to do is see my pdoc, but it would be nice to hear others' experiences with anger and how you managed it.
  21. So about 3-4 days ago through today (when I got my period) I became increasingly angry. I would snap at everyone, act like an entitled brat (when I am not usually one), horrible anxiety, rage, crying, so many emotions all at once. It was awful. I almost got kicked out for my behavior. This is not usually me. It's the PMS. If anyone on here takes Birth Control or Progesterone or any kind of hormone assistance, please share your experience, the name of the product you are taking and if it has made an impact on the emotional aspects of your PMS. The period part is fine, my periods are light and easy to handle...the PMS - emotional side, not so much. Also, please don't recommend an AD because I am not allowed to take those. Thanks in advance!
  22. Am I the only one who gets scared wondering whether their physical symptoms of anxiety and panic are really that or if it's a sign that something is wrong in their body? Example: Tingling of/ pain in extremities or a headache turns into "Oh my God! I'm having a heart attack or a stroke!" I feel like I'm getting bad again from the lack of benzos (long story as to why I can't be on them anymore). It's so frustrating because the sensations are so real and intense but in reality my mind is just overreacting. Please tell me that I am not the only one that has this issue.
  23. Hi Forum, Does Seroquel XR 100 mg (or IR generic) help anger the way Risperdal and Abilify does? I have a lot of anger towards a family member who I live with (most of which I think is justifiable, given my age (30) and I've been on Seroquel IR 100 mg generic for over a month. So it seems that not all AAP's help with anger. I was briefly (2 weeks) on Risperdal and that is known to mitigate anger and is FDA approved to help with anger. I also remember being much less angry on Abilify 2 mg, but I stopped it b/c of unwanted side effects. Although I feel like the anger is justifiable under the circumstances for a 30 year old like myself, I don't like having anger towards a close family member who I live with and being mean to them and resenting them.
  24. Hi my name is nothere I am in my 50’s. I am an adult survivor of child sexual/physical abuse. I have survived with lots of substance abuse, PTSD, depression, dissociation, paranoia, nightmares, phobias anger and Anxiety. I think I will have the BPD with a side order of DID please. Being crazy can be fun sometimes but it has it’s drawbacks. Like no friends. I had one good friend for over 30 years but he died yesterday. So today I am very hung over, sad and not here really. I need to get my shit straight. Just saying that makes me want to kick my own ass because I been saying that for 35 years. But today I sank into a new low place and it’s got kind of scary. So I called a crisis hot line but since I didn’t have a gun to my head they told me to go some ware else. So I looked around and found this web site. Looks like I can find some answers and/or direction here.
  25. Hi everyone. I've been on some "support forums" before but I like the sound of this one. Looking for a place where I can get some advice/different opinions that are not sugar coated. I am female in my mid 20's, live alone with 2 dogs and 2 cats, working full-time at a job I enjoy. I have been on antidepressants since I was a young teen, been on celexa for about 10 years now, varying doses. I have bouts of bad depression and bouts of okay-ness that last a few months at a time. My state of life doesn't affect it - ie. I would be just as depressed if I was a millionaire or broke. I have had good jobs and bad jobs and it doesn't make a bit of difference. What brings me here now is that in the past couple years I have been getting ANGRY which is a new thing for me. I feel especially angry at night. My patience is very low and the littlest things piss me off to no end. One of my dogs is quite young and she is full of shenanigans, and stuff she does in the morning or afternoon that wouldn't bother me much absolutely infuriates me at night. She gets a lot more yelling at and scruffings after dinner - and I don't want to cow her from over-disciplining just because I'm in a bad mood. It's not fair that I take out my bad mood on her. The worst part is that it feels like I get relief when I get mad. I know that getting mad at her doesn't do her much good training-wise and I like to use positive re-inforcement most of the time, but it's like blowing up is rewarding for ME so I keep doing it. Now when the sun goes down she walks around on eggshells and it breaks my heart. I don't want to be like that. It makes me think that if I can't even handle a dog what kind of wife or mother would I be. It makes me think I might be better off being alone forever. I honestly can't imagine why anyone would want me - for a wife, a mother, or in the dog's case, for an owner. Not looking for judgement. I know I can be an asshole to my dog but I'm not abusive, just not nice. She gets lots of love and quality time with me and the old dog too. It's just that when the dog gets hyper I get hyper, except I get hyped up in a negative way and I don't like it. Anyone have success keeping their anger at bay and learning to be peaceful? Like should I try yoga or meditation or something? One of my therapists seems to think that trying a different medication might be helpful, but I am TERRIFIED to try it. When I changed to celexa it was the worst time of my life until I got used to it.
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