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  1. So Effexor XR is the best medication I've taken for my problems which combined anxiety disorders, panic disorder, and obsessions. It has also helped with depression that inevitably follows these... So I know the SSRIs/SNRIs are notorious for this side effect, I was just wondering how other users deal with this problem as this can be difficult to talk about with peers and even doctors? I don't even like posting this here, I just don't know what to do. I was on Effexor XR for about 5 years at 300mg, last year I came down to 150mg, and currently I'm on 75mg. Luckily I've felt pretty stable and been maintaining well. However, my libido has been transient and pretty much nonexistent at times. I've tried several things, from abstaining for weeks at a time to OTC libido boosters....Oddly enough I felt my libido was actually higher on high dosages of the Effexor. Possibly to do with the Norepinephrine/Dopamine push? Anyways I asked my Pdoc about it finally and he said he script me Viagra or Wellbutrin. Neither of which I'm very fond of doing. I have a bottle of Wellbutrin sitting on my dresser right now that I haven't started yet because I've heard it can make anxiety issues worse and the fact I could be adding another side effect (truthfully I don't want to start another medication and go through that again) The Wellbutrin is a last resort right now....I don't feel like I should be having these issues at 34 and it has been very distressing as you can imagine... So I'm asking people out there how they dealt with sexual side effects on Effexor, post-effexor, or on other SSRIs if you've had experience with the Sexual side effects? Is the only option to stop Effexor to remove this side effect?
  2. I don’t know what category my question goes under, as I do have multiple symptoms in like 3-4 other categories. So, I’ll just try it here... Hi everyone. I have schizoaffective disorder-bipolar type, GAD and I also struggle with sever depression. Right now, I am currently on Nortriptyline 75mg 3x/day. This dose goes beyond the maximum dose and I’m still struggling with tiredness and just a low, funky, depressive mood all day. All and all, this particular antidepressant isn’t necessarily helping me. So here’s the thing. I used to take Wellbutrin like a decade ago before I was even known to have schizoaffecfive, so my anxiety at the time went through the roof without realizing the underlying issues of a disorder unknown to me at the time. Fast forward a decade later, I’m on a completely different regimen now and I just would like to know if anyone else has schizoaffective disorder, GAD and/or depression like me who is currently on Wellbutrin. I just want to gain some insight from people with my condition (all of any symptom) about Wellbutrin and if it was a life saver for them or not. And if Wellbutrin isn’t a favorable med, could you guys give me some insight for what works for a schizo/bipolar diagnosis? You can even drop antidepressant names and I can do a little research as well to see what my options are. Maybe there are some I’ve never heard of that could possibly work me. I’m going to talk to my pdoc about this for sure. I just want to make sure I have enough insight/info from others so that I can know what to suggest to her in case it may help her and I figure out what might or might not work. I’m sure my pdoc will know, but doctors don’t always or exactly know how their patients really feel on a daily basis. Only patients can really tell their doctors what exactly is going on with them, hence why I’d love your feedback in case you’ve gone through what I’m going through now. I’m no doctor, I know, but hearing other peoples’ experiences gives me some insight about what I can talk to my pdoc about. What does Wellbutrin feel like when you are on it?
  3. So, I went to see my GP to talk about possibly switching from Prozac to something else. I am not sure if my Prozac is pooping out or if it just normal life stressors getting to me. So, I discussed this with him and he had me do some genetic testing to see if I metabolize psychiatric meds normally. I got the results back, and apparently the only abnormal thing is that I have a gene mutation that makes me unable to metabolize folic acid properly, so he prescribed something called Deplin, generic version L-Methylfolate 15mg. With insurance coverage it is $56 a month!! I am wondering if anyone has had noticeable, positive results from this before I drop $56 on basically a pharmaceutical grade vitamin. I am thinking that maybe I should just go back to seeing a therapist and not go on the med merry-go-round again, since Prozac is still working and life is not so bad to warrant a huge medication change. Maybe possibly going from Prozac 20mg to 30mg? Since 40mg had benefits but I was WAYYYYYYYY too fatigued all the time. Another thing I want to inquire about is possibly augmenting Prozac with Wellbutrin. I had been on Wellbutrin 150mg XL 4 years ago, and I think I liked it but it made me VERY irritable. The difference then is that that was my main antidepressant, second one being Remeron 15mg, but that was mostly for sleep. I am wondering maybe the Prozac has leveled me out more so I will not be as irritable from the Wellbutrin. Anyone had success with an SSRI + Wellbutrin? Thank you all.
  4. I just started taking Wellbutrin and have been currently taking it for 3 days now and I’ve been getting multiple symptoms listed from the Wellbutrin. I’ve been having stomach pains, nausea, dizziness and headaches, should I stop taking the Wellbutrin if I have these effects or would they go away after the first 1 or 2 weeks?
  5. Hello, I am currently on two medications, Zoloft 100mg and Lyrica 300mg, and had sort of a weird bought of mood swings over the last two weeks that may have been just work related though I was feeling agitated one day, and flat and depressed the next few days. Now I am sort of about as normal as normal gets, for now. Different medications have been suggested to me for managing bipolar II and I am sort of hesitant to try something in addition to what I am already on because what if my medication trial goes side ways and it makes me worse? I know start up can be rough but I just don't know if things are bad enough now to start messing around. I was feeling anxious and scared about work (enough that I took a day off to reset myself) and wondered if I could benefit from different meds that are more in-line for treating bipolar disorder. I feel kind of stuck and wish I was starting from where I am on no meds to transitioning to 1st line treatment for bipolar. Any thoughts? Anyone start out on meds for MDD and anxiety transition well to meds for bipolar? Med changes are never fun in my experience.
  6. Hello Comrades, I've been taking Sertraline (50mg daily) for 9 months now. Reason for taking Sertraline: Depression & SAD. Maybe some GAD. So Sertraline treats my baseline anxiety quite well, also got rid of digestion problems, but I am struggling with side effects: Motor restlessness, agitation. I've always been quite "hyperactive", but Sertraline has worsened it by a good amount. I cannot sit still, I feel I have to walk, to pace. I move my fingers and toes to "release" some of the energy. Also lots of fidgeting, rocking back and forth. I have the urge to crawl out of my skin. _ Indifference, amotivation, apathy, lethargy. I get less things done on Sertraline than before Sertraline. Just want to sit around and do nothing. It is really disconcerting, because things would happen like a major car malfunction or someone f*ck*ng me over and I'd be thinking "this SHOULD piss me off, but, meh.. whatever.."! I've been doing some reading & research and there is the hypothesis that SSRI-induced-stimulation of 5HT2C & 5HT2A receptors dampens the dopaminergic transmission in the prefrontal cortex thus causing these specific SSRI side effects. Antagonism / Inverse Agonism of these receptors should theoretically resolve the problem. What medications do antagonize / inverse agonize these receptors? Are there any other reliable theories on what is causing this? And what could help? _ Sleep disturbances, f*ck*d up sleep cycle, crappy sleep. Falling asleep is difficult, shallow sleep, waking up a lot in the night => daytime fatigue. (This week I've been sleeping a lot, maybe because the body wants to compensate for last months's bad sleep?) _ Heat intolerance + hot flashes. My entire life I've been loving warmth and heat. I was the guy who could sit at the top row in the sauna for 20min @ 100°C (212 °F), but right now I cannot even stand a mild summer. And I have been getting hot flashes lasting between 10-15 mins several times a day (I am a 29 year old male, so pretty sure it is not menopause related) _ I also lost quite a bit of weight, partially due to loss of appetite, but also due to increased metabolic rate. My appetite is back to normal, but I am still not gaining any weight. BMI 20 right now. _ Palpitations (BUM BUM BUM BUM. BUM . . . BUM . . . BUM) _ mild headaches and "pressure" in my neck. Nothing bad, but very annoying in the mid and long term. Now I don't know what to do. I need some meds with "less" side effects. I haven't tried any combination of medications yet. To my dismay my doc prefers the SSRI merry go around aka SSRI carousel. I found a new psychiatrist and I will have a first appointment in about a month, but I don't know what to suggest to him. Has anybody some experience with a similar situation? Which antidepressant would be suitable for me? If there is someone who had the same problem and found some solution: please write me. Thank you. Greetings from Germany!
  7. Hello all, I’m at a loss so I’m turning to this community for some new perspective. I suffer from generalized anxiety and depression. I have run the gamut of meds including SSRI, SNRI and tricyclics. Most SSRI and SNRIs I could not tolerate due to side effects. I’ve even tried off label uses for meds. I’ve been on Lamictal 200 mg for 2 years now. Initially it was great! I had more energy than I had felt in years! However, it has never helped my anxiety so I’ve tried multiple combos with the Lamictal. Lexapro, effexor, Paxil, Abilify, Pristiq. All had intolerable side effects. My mood has been so down for several months and my anxiety has been through the roof off & on since starting Lamictal. So now I’m beginning to wonder if the Lamictal is even working anymore??? I’m currently on Lyrica 50mg 3X daily (off label for anxiety) in addition to the 200mg Lamictal. The Lyrica helps a little. It got me out of my depressed mood but I think only because it’s used for pain so I almost get a high. But it really does not help my anxiety. I’ve switched psychiatrists and my new one is not crazy about me being on Lyrica & refuses to jump through the hoops that are required for the preauthorization with the insurance company. So I’d rather not even mess with it since it’s not working all that great anyways. So now I’m back to square one. I’ve had genetic testing done to see which drugs I might tolerate better but there are several on the list that I’ve already tried. My doctor is a DO so he looks at a more holistic approach. He’s had me try a few supplements. But I have a condition called mast cell activation syndrome so I get allergic reaction flare ups and since I’m on so much it’s hard to tell what’s causing it. I’ve discontinued all the supplements for now. I have an appt with my psychiatrist on Weds and I really need to sit down with him and come up with a new game plan. Does anyone have any experience with Lamictal? Did it stop working on you? Did you still suffer with anxiety? Do you think I should cut back on Lamictal to lesson the side effects to other meds or just discontinue all together? Suggestions for different meds? Am I a lost cause????? ?
  8. My doc does not think I am bipolar. My last appointment he tried to add on pristiq which I said no to since I had a horrible reaction to trying effexor (debilitating panic attacks and anxiety). I did tell him this but he suggested Pristiq. Bad stuff keeps coming back now. Anger, rage, fleeting violent thoughts, passive suicidal ideation. It is sort of like how things were prior to being on any meds. I am on 45 mg Mirtazipine Sol-tab. Lorazepam 1mg prn. Waiting until end of June to see my pdoc again. May see him sooner if things don't improve.
  9. Hi all. Would like opinions please. I've been on Viibryd for a little over 6 weeks. Went up to 40mgs, then back to 30mg now 20mgs (pdoc thought it might have been too stimulating for me at higher doses). I'm starting to feel stable throughout the day most days, but almost always have breakthrough anxiety multiple times a day, in which the .50mg of Lorazepam isn't working to control. Although my depressed mood/sadness has seemed to lifted a bit, the suicidal thoughts are hanging on for dear life. This promoted my pdoc to add Lithium 900mg a little over 2 weeks ago. I also take 200mg Seroquel and 600 nuerontin at bed to help with insomnia. Anyway, I really don't think the current cocktail of the Viibryd 20mg and Lithium 900mg is working for me. I would think that I should be a lot less anxious than I am and not be having suicidal thoughts at this spot in my "recovery". I guess I should mention that I just started intensive therapy (3 times a week). I know that therapy often makes things worse before they get better, but I'm pretty uncomfortable. Over the years, I have been on Cymbalta, Wellbutrin, Paxil, Zoloft, Lexapro and Effexor with not much luck. I would really like to ask my pdoc to be put on a TCA. I've never tried that class of anti-depressant so I'm hoping maybe I'll respond better to a TCA than the abysmal results I've had with SSRI, SNRI and now SMS. Or, is it even worth asking for a change now that I'm in therapy? I would really appreciate opinions and recommendations. Thank you so much!
  10. Hi everyone. I have bipolar l disorder with psychotic features, anxiety, ADHD and depression. Right now, I'm talking all of the medications below and I'm trying to figure out why I'm still dealing with depression. I also smoke cigarettes, which obviously aren't making my mental/physical health any better than what it could be without them. Right now, I take a combination of a mood stabilizer, an antipsychotic, 2 stimulants, a benzo and an antidepressant (Cymbalta 120mg). What I'm trying to figure out is if whether or not my med mix is causing all of my dismay or if my antidepressant is no longer effective, or whatever. I've also noticed over the years that I'm very depressive during the summertime, so that is something to take into consideration as far as having SAD and talking to my pdoc about it. The pdoc I see has a reputation for over-medicating his patients, but I didn't know this until I too started seeing him. I'm stuck with him for now until I can find someone who can make sense of my situation. I'm just so fed up with these almost 8 years of trying to find the right combination of meds or if I even need this much! My pdoc is clearly over-medicating me to some degree right now (which I am sure you can agree), but I just don't have the insight to tell the difference of what's causing my depression, what's meds work well with each other and which ones don't. What do you think? Do you think that my depression is a result of being on too many meds? The wrong meds? Did Cymbalta stop working? Can antidepressants stop working?Please provide me with your insight, experiences and knowledge! Thanks. PS. I go to work 5 days a week able to somewhat cope, then crash into depression over the weekends, then I start all over.
  11. Hello there, So I'm getting evaluated for Bipolar disorder on Thursday and during this waiting period, I thought I'd do some in depth research on the disorder. I'm 98% sure I'm going to get diagnosed with Bipolar II or Bipolar NOS (due to how rapid my cycles sometimes are), and since I'm on an antidepressant right now, I needed to see what meds Bipolar folk usually take. That's when I found out about mood stabilizers and all the ugly side effects that come along with them. To be honest, I'm scared to try any of them with everything that I've read. I just need an antidepressant to keep me out of the depression I get. The hypomanic episodes I get aren't that bad. I'm not driving recklessly, I can control my shopping sprees and irresponsible flirting if I try, and the hypomanic moods keep me peppy at work. Who wouldn't want that??? ...If it weren't for just how low those depressive episodes of mine get, I'd scrap the idea of meds altogether, but I can't. Without meds, I can't get out of bed (though my current meds hardly help that, now that I think about it), I'm emotionless or sad all of the time, I isolate, and I sometimes start to contemplate whether the world would be better off without me. It's really awful... but with the plethora of mood stabilizer side effects, is it even really worth it to try with those? I guess only my psychiatrist would know the answer to that (I question her judgement sometimes, though, since she tried putting me on an antidepressant again that previously made me suicidal the last time I needed to switch meds), but I thought I'd ask you guys: Do you think you're better off with / without mood stabilizers? And why or why not?
  12. What medications have you found that have worked for binge eating disorder or bulimia? Topamax kinda helps, but I hate the side effects (depression, hair loss, slowed thinking, tiredness, etc....) and was wondering if anybody else had success with any other medications. Or if you've found ways to deal with the cognitive side effects of topamax? Thank you.
  13. Hello, I have been taking escitilapram and resperidone for 3 years up until this june. How long does it take for the meds to get out of your system after you stopped taking them?
  14. Hey, hoping for some advice on a new cocktail. I have treatment resistant depression with social anxiety. Have tried citalopram, escitalopram, desvenlafexine, mirtazapine, duloxetine, pregabalin, bupropion, propranolol, phenelzine, tranylcypromine, quetiapine over last ten or so years. The thing I have found far and away the most effective has been phenelzine but maois gave me bad postural hypotension to the point where my psychiatrist made me discontinue. I'm on combo of cymbalta and remeron now but the only effect is excessive sweating. Any ideas for what to try next? Thanks in advance.
  15. I struggle with chronic anhedonia and it has lasted for over a year and a half now. But I have come up with a theory that might get rid of it for me and everyone else who struggles with it right here and now. I don't know if this will work or not, but with anhedonia, you have a chronically overly active part of the brain (the hpa axis which is the area of the brain responsible for the stress response) while another area of the brain turns off which is the area responsible for feelings of pleasure (our good moods). If you can make yourself pass out, then that overly active part of the brain might turn off and allow your feelings of pleasure to turn back on. The brain has to devote all its function to vital organs and such to keep them alive while you are passed out. So this would have to mean that the overly active part of the brain I mentioned would have to turn off. So when you wake back up, you might have your full feelings of pleasure back to you and no more anhedonia. Being aware of stress (both consciously and subconsciously) also causes that stress region of the brain to become overly active as well. When it is overly active and can't be regulated, that is why the area responsible for pleasure turns off. So by making yourself pass out in this situation as well, then you would have temporarily gotten rid of all conscious and subconscious awareness of that stress which would turn off the stress response. Awareness of stressful life events=overly active stress response. Absence of awareness=no stress response. So if you can also wake back up having amnesia, then that stress response would also be turned off for the time being and further give your brain the chance to regulate itself and turn its feelings of pleasure back on. This whole thing is just a theory of mine. I don't know if it will work or not. I'm not sure if I should recommend others trying it and reporting back to me to see if it worked for them or not. If it works for them, then I am going to try it. I also thought of being put out by anesthesia which would of been a better alternative to passing out since anesthesia puts you out longer. But since I don't have that option, then making myself pass out would be the only option here. There is a way to do it. I heard that you have to hyperventilate and stand up.
  16. I struggle with depression and I have never perceived any good meaning, love, joy, happiness, and inspiration in my life while having it. I am wondering if there is a way I can though if I were to work on my thinking. Or if my thoughts alone cannot give me those things. I would like to ask this question. How can our thoughts alone while depressed be any form of rewarding experience for us? Aren’t they all just thoughts? Aren’t they all nothing more than just the “thinking” experience of our brains that cannot give us any good meaning, love, joy, happiness, inspiration, or rewarding experience? Don’t they just give us nothing more than just words and phrases of those things? There is the difference between words and phrases and our mental states. So what I am asking here is can we achieve the mental state of love, joy, happiness, and inspiration through our thoughts alone while depressed? Or is it just simply the words and phrases of those things and not the actual mental state of having those things? If this sounds confusing to you, then let me explain more on this: If a blind and deaf person told his/herself that he/she still has sight and hearing, then he/she would just be telling his/herself nothing more than labels (words and phrases) of sight and hearing. That would not give him/her the actual mental state of sight and hearing which would be the mental state of visualizing objects and perceiving sound. So in that same sense, I am wondering if our thoughts alone while we are depressed do not allow us to perceive good meaning, love, joy, happiness, and inspiration just like how a blind and deaf person cannot perceive sight and hearing. So for that very reason, I am thinking that it is only our good moods alone that allow us to perceive good meaning, love, joy, happiness, and inspiration in our lives. Our reward system being fully up and running to give us our good moods is the only thing that can allow us to perceive the full degree of those things in our lives. It has been considered as to whether good and bad are objective or subjective terms. So I am wondering if there really is an objective version of good and bad which would be our good and bad moods. It would be a universal version of good and bad that applies to all human beings. We might currently be deluding ourselves that our lives can be good without our good moods and bad without our bad moods. Same thing applies for the terms love, joy, happiness, inspiration, suffering, despair, anguish, sadness, rage, etc. They are all our good and bad moods.
  17. Hi, I wonder if anyone could help please... I am a 33 woman and I took Zypexa for 6 years due to very mistaken and stupid diagnosis (10mg`s for 2 years and 5mg for 4 years) and Cypralex for first 3 years. I quit Cypralex 3 years ago while on Zyprexa and quit Zyprexa 11 months ago after a 3 months taper.I am absolutely,100% drug free.I am in full withdrawal/discontinuation syndrome and I have experienced a lot of debilitating sypmtoms,severe insomnia,severe muscular pain throughout the body,uncontrolled rage,tremors,severe headaches,stiff/pain in my neck and shoulders,severe stomach pain,vulvodynia,PMS,IBS.. over 80 symptoms in total... I`ve changed my diet completely,I becomed a vegan (no meats,no eggs,milk or gluten),I eat very very clean,I cook my own meals at home and stay away from any processed foods,conservants or additives.I don`t take any painkillers,absolutely no pills at all.I manage my pain with ginger tea and a arnica based organic solution.I don`t drink coffee,alcohool... I don`t smoke. I try to live a very healthy,clean live and exercise (take gentle walks in the park).The diet change paid off and the symtomps are starting to dissapear and I am starting to have good and lasting windows.My sleep has improved a little but not so much... my night sleep depends of how my day was... if I had a stress free day and everything was fine I am sleeping 4-6 hrs... if my day was not a good one or I have something relatively important to do the next day I might sleep from 5-6 am to 11 am or not sleep at all until 9-10am! Overall I am doing fine if I stay away from cold,bad postures and stress and take care of what I eat.I have very low stress tolerance and any little arguement,contradiction or event in my life brings a very bad wave of symptomps,the insomnia returns in full swing,the muscular and head pain returns,convulsion/ tremors as well and of course the depression as a result of lack of hope.Suddenly I have the feeling that I never healed at all because the symptoms are exactly as bad and severe as when I quit Zyprexa.I am very fragile and I wonder if I will ever heal completely and have 0 symptoms exactly like the normal person I was before drugs. 11 months of endurance and pain have passed and I really want my old life and body back... no pains,no restrictions (from cold air,stress or bad postures). If anyone has COMPLETELY healed from Zyprexa and be 100% free of any psihotropic drugs please e-mail me and let me know how you`re doing,how long it took you to be normal and live a normal live again.If your stress tollerance is normal,if you don`t have any pains no matter the climate condition,if you`re sleeping well no matter how your day was,If you can eat or drink anything and don`t have any symptoms.PLEASE E-MAIL ME AT [removed email address] Many many thanks and hang in there!
  18. ...is anybody familiar with this triad? Did it work for you? I see pdoc Friday...thanks for any information/experiences you can share!
  19. Hi, I have been on several antidepressants and have yet to find the right one or combination. What I am looking for is an anti-depressant that will give me energy and motivation and a desire to socialize again (instead of simply laying in bed all day). However, a major problem I suffer from is high anxiety and have heard that many 'energizing' antidepressants can increase anxiety. Therefore, I am also looking for something that will help with my anxiety but not make me feel tired all day. An aside- I am also prescribed concerta for ADD but even that fails to keep me up with certain medications. Medications I have tried in the past: -effexor- did not find it to be particularly effective -remeron- thought this helped my depression when I was at my lowest but it made me way too tired throughout the day -brintellix- I felt like it was helping but I started to experience too many side effects with extreme itching and rashes - wellbutrin- dr. prescribed this as an add-on with the brintellix- seems to work ok as an add-on but not alone - cymbalta- started taking this (along with the wellbutrin) about 4 weeks ago (2 weeks at 20 mg, 2 weeks at 40 mg). Initially I was really hopeful because I felt like it was helping with my anxiety but for the past week I have felt extremely exhausted all day (even with the wellbutrin and concerta) So does anyone have any suggestions?? I am starting to get really, really discouraged and would appreciate any input. Also, I am willing to start trying some TCAs so if anyone has had any positive results or suggestions about TCAs I would be interested to hear them. Thank you so much for any suggestions or input. It is greatly appreciated.
  20. Everyone must always be cool to me. In other words, I must always get a good vibe from them. If they show a bad attitude towards me and show scorn and/or detest towards me, then they die. I don't care who they are and I don't care what situation it is. Even if it is a situation that others would deem as very minor such as getting in an argument with someone. As long as they give off a loathsome bad vibe to me through their display of scorn, frown, and detest towards me, then they all die by my hands. The fact is, I do not put up with any problems. So not only must people always be cool to me, but this life itself must always be cool to me as well and not give me any problems. Otherwise, that will make me psychotically enraged. If my own brain gives me problems of depression and anhedonia (absence of all my pleasant feelings/emotions), then I die. I will become ruthless, fierce, and take my own life right then and there just as how I would also become ruthless and fierce towards other people who give me problems. But the moment this life and people no longer give me problems is the moment that everything returns back to normal. Everything would all immediately return back to a normal good vibe to me once again.
  21. so for the last 3 years at least (I don't really remember the pattern of episodes earlier than that), October-February has been a really rough period depression-wise. My doctor suggested supplementing my medication (which by then will be 15-20mg of abilify and 200mg of lamictal) with an antidepressant, but historically I've been on 3 SSRIs and one tricyclic and they all either made me suicidal or gave me side effects that made me suicidal. There seems to have been research on the effectiveness of light therapy for seasonally affected bipolar disorder, with some indications that it can cause hypo/mania, but it seems to be pretty inconclusive? Does anyone have any experience or cautions or recommendations here?
  22. Has anyone else here ever experienced an anti-depressant or medication induced manic "switch"? Was it after being diagnosed, or were you diagnosed because of such an episode? I ask because I was recently re-diagnosed as bipolar following such a switch. My now-previous pdoc felt the diagnosis fit well, considering my reported history. My new pdoc seems to take an entirely different view; he thinks that anti-depressants can cause, in some people, symptoms that mimic mania. He's less interested in my reported history and more in what symptoms I present with at the moment. Needless to say, I'm confused (and as far as I understand, so is the profession of psychiatry on this issue). I am concerned about what this means for my long-term care, so I was hoping to hear some other experiences.
  23. (NOTE TO READER: I AM ON THE VERGE OF GOING INTO SOME PSYCHOTIC RAGE. PLEASE READ EVERYTHING I'M SAYING HERE. I KNOW IT IS LONG-WINDED LIKE MY OTHER POSTS. BUT IT IS VERY IMPORTANT HERE AND NO ONE SHOULD HAVE DISRESPECT AND BELITTLE MY SITUATION BY TELLING ME THINGS SUCH AS THAT I AM JUST WASTING EVERYONE'S TIME HERE AND THAT I SHOULD JUST TAKE THIS ELSEWHERE AND/OR KEEP IT TO MYSELF): My anhedonia (chronic absence of pleasure) that is there all the time 24/7 in which there are never any brief moments of pleasure, I was told by my doctor (psychiatrist) that this is a negative symptom of schizophrenia since I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia and that there is no validated treatment for it and that I am just going to have to learn to live with it. There is no way I could ever possibly accept living a life in which I have no pleasure to enjoy anything in my life. My pleasure, to me, is more important than the air I breathe to stay alive. I live off my pleasure. It's more important to me than my heart which beats to keep me alive. Me having this strong desire to have my full pleasure back in life is not just some want. It is far more important than a want and is far more important than a need. Needs are defined as being more important than wants since needs are things that we use to survive such as the air we breathe and such. But since my pleasure is far more important to me than any of those other needs to survive, then my pleasure is more important than some need. It is an intrinsic part of me that defines me and my life as being good and worth living. I would rather be dead from lack of air and other things than to live a life of no pleasure. To me, how I feel is the only thing that matters in terms of my personal life. In other words, if I feel good, then that means me and my life are going great. But if I feel bad or if I don't feel anything, then me and my life are nothing good at all. It doesn't matter how much I help others and make their lives good without my pleasure, me and my own personal life are still nothing good at all without my pleasure. All my personality traits such as my intelligence, creativity, and everything else in life are nothing good at all in terms of my own personal life without my pleasure. This is a strict value and belief I hold. Please do not try and change it at all. Otherwise, that will cause me to become enraged and psychotic. This is because I MUST have my life of full pleasure back and I could never possibly accept my absence of pleasure and to live for other things in life instead without my pleasure. Yes, I still value other good people such as my family. But since I have just as much good value as any other good person, then that gives me every right to have focus towards myself and to want my own personal life of pleasure given back to me. To say that I have no right to have value and focus towards that and that I should instead focus and live for other things and for other people would be no different than if I came up to you and told you to have all the attention and focus towards me. Therefore, it would be selfish of you to tell me so and it would be selfish and offensive for me to tell you to abandon your own values in life just so you could live a life that is not only nothing good at all without that said thing in your life which was the one and only thing that made your life good and worth living, but is also a life in which you have abandoned your own value (focus) towards yourself and are catering to me. So if I can never recover my pleasure, then that gives me every right to end my life since I have just as much good value as any other good person. Since I am a good person, then why keep me alive just to suffer with a life that is nothing good at all? Also, I wouldn't be having lesser good value towards my family and other people in me choosing to end my life. Rather, the good value that I once invested towards the message of me living for my family and helping them out, this good value has been redirected towards another message of value towards my family. This new message would say that I just wish for them to move on and find their own ways and strengths in life without me and that I still have full good value towards them even though I have chosen to end my life. I wouldn't of chosen to end my life with a message towards my family such as that I just don't care for them anymore and that I am the only one who matters in life. Therefore, since I wouldn't be having such a thought towards my family in me choosing to end my life, then I wouldn't be having lesser good value towards them if I were to choose to end my life. If I can't get my pleasure back, then I will end my life. I won't have it any other way. I was on some other depression forum with a user who went by the name "itstrevor." He said that even though anhedonia does tend to recover for many people, those people who have anhedonia due to schizophrenia tend to not fully recover. He said that many people with anhedonia do tend to fully recover and that once they recover, it tends to remain recovered. But as for people with schizophrenia, the anhedonia in schizophrenia tends to be an intractable problem. He says that anhedonia that is a result of other things in life besides mental illnesses such as Parkinson's disease and schizophrenia, that this version of anhedonia tends to recover since there has been no loss/damage of axons in the brain. But as for something such as Parkinson's disease and schizophrenia, these mental illnesses cause damage/loss of axons. Which is why I am asking here if there is some intelligent expert in the mental health field who can tell me if there is any chance of recovery from this anhedonia, what my chances of recovery are, and if it is really due to schizophrenia. If it's due to something else, then it just might be likely to fully recover. But in the event that it doesn't recover or doesn't sufficiently recover, then to tell me to accept this anhedonia and that I am just going to have to learn to live with it, this would be a complete mockery and insult to me and to the one and only good and greatest life there is to me which would be a life of as much pleasure and as little suffering/little absence of pleasure as possible. It says to me that I am just going to have to accept and learn to live a life that is nothing good at all without my pleasure. How we accept problems and move forward in life can only happen if we have found other things in life that makes our lives good despite our problems. Some people might claim that they can still live their lives even if there is nothing good about them and their lives. However, these people would of attributed a good value towards living such a life such as them saying that they are fine accepting and moving on in such a life. Otherwise, if they didn't attribute any good value at all, then they would find no reason to accept and move forward in such a life. Therefore, since my pleasure has and always will be the only good thing in my personal life, then I can never accept this anhedonia. I am going to tell you just how much my pleasure matters to me and how enraged I would be if I were to lose it for life. If there was some ferocious lion who somehow took my pleasure away from me and told me that I am just going to have to accept and learn to live with this loss of pleasure, then I would become an enraged psychopath and would slaughter this lion. I don't care how dangerous and ferocious this lion is. My pleasure is the one and only thing that defines me and my personal life as being good and I would fearlessly go and slaughter that lion even if it meant me being mauled to death since my life wouldn't matter without my pleasure. Even the most elite trained warriors might have fear facing something such as lion. But not me. I would become so enraged that there would be no trace of fear. My pleasure is so vehemently important to me since it was a very profound good experience for me and my life and made me and my personal life good and worth living. My personal experience of depression and anhedonia also made me realize just how important it is to have pleasure in life and just how devastating it is to lose your pleasure. You can take away my limbs, you can take away my sight, and you can take away my hearing. But if you take away my pleasure, then... So as you can clearly see here, my pleasure is what personally defines my human existence as being good and worth living. Absolutely nothing is going to take that away from me and leave me in a permanent anhedonic state. No one or anything else in this life is going to take away and try and change my personal values and beliefs regarding my pleasure either.
  24. I have developed severe chronic anhedonia as a result of depression. It has lasted for over 7 months, still hasn't gotten any better, and there are never any brief moments of pleasure. My feelings of pleasure (such as love, joy, motivation, etc.) are the most important things about me as a person. They are far more important than my attitude, actions, personality, etc. As a matter of fact, my attitude, actions, and personality do not matter at all without my pleasure and are neutral (neither good or bad). My good and bad value as a human being is solely based on the level of pleasure (good value) I have in life while my bad value is solely based on the level of suffering I have in my life. In other words, if I suffer alot from anhedonia/depression and help many people out around the world, then even that wouldn't make me a good person at all and my life would still be nothing good at all. I would still be a bad, weak, and inferior person regardless of the fact that depression and anhedonia are mental illnesses and that they are not choices in which people can snap themselves out of it. I would have helped others and made their lives good. But without my own pleasure in life, then my own personal life is nothing good at all. My thoughts, actions, and everything else in life are nothing more than just sounds, words, images, phrases, gestures, etc. without my pleasure. For example, if I think of a good thought in my mind (such as a profound loving thought towards my family) without my pleasure, then that good thought is nothing more than just a thought. There is no sense of empowerment, "high," or any profound experience whatsoever from any of those thoughts since they are nothing more than just thoughts. They may make us do certain actions and such as well as other important things, but that is it. So all my thoughts and personal created meanings in life including my attitude and actions are nothing profound or anything good since they are all neutral experiences without my pleasure. It has nothing to do with me having a bad attitude and attributing a neutral value to those things that is making them neutral. They are all actually neutral in of themselves and it has nothing to do with me attributing a neutral value judgment to them since they are all neutral experiences as I've said before. If I were to create a very profound good meaning (thought) in my mind, then the meaning itself would be something very good and profound (but only in the sense that they are nothing more than just words, sounds, images, phrases, etc.). However, the conscious experience of that meaning is a neutral (neither good or bad) experience and it is only my conscious experience of pleasure that is good while it is only my conscious experience of suffering that is bad. Therefore, who I am as a person and what my actions are do not matter at all. As long as I have my full pleasure back to me in life, then that is all that matters to me. Growing as a person and becoming more of an empathetic, compassionate, understanding, intelligent, insightful, creative, etc. person through my suffering does not matter at all to me either without my pleasure and I could care less about growing as a person or who I am for that matter. As long as I am happy (have my full pleasure in life), then that is all that matters to me and that is the one and only thing that defines me and my life as being good. The one and only greatest life there is and is the one and only life that matters to me and nothing else would be a life of as much pleasure and as little suffering as possible. If I can't get that life, then I would end my life since I would be living a life that mocks and insults me and the one and only greatest life I wanted to live. Therefore, I must have my life back in which I had a normal full amount of pleasure before. If I can't get that life, then I would end my life. In conclusion, I would like to say something very important here which is that I am absolutely convinced that my pleasure is the only thing that makes me good and my life good while my suffering is the only thing that makes me bad and my life bad. There is nothing anyone else here can tell me that can make me change my mind on this. These are my own personal values and beliefs. But the reason why I came here and talked about it anyway is simply because I want others here to listen, relate, and sympathize with me and my described situation.
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