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  1. Has anyone done this successfully? How did you deal with your anxiety--social, GAD--without your benzodiazepine? I've been taking it as prescribed since 2003. I am addicted.
  2. I tapered of ativan because I felt like it was making me like the energizer bunny. I would start reading a book, 15 min later do dishes, 20 min later go on a run, 10 minutes into the run get tired of it, go inside watch a tv show for 10 min, then do something else. I couldn't focus on one damn thing at a time. Well I refilled the prescription and I felt great yesterday and the day before but now I actually feel more anxious. Not exactly anxiety per se, but almost like an agitation that makes me on edge, makes me worry more. I function better. Showering, cleaning, not daydreaming all day or dissociating. But I just hate the rotten feeling of agitation and not being able to relax. Would a longer acting benzo help? Such as klonipin. This was the same thing I experienced on xanax except no agitation but more energizer bunny and 15 incremental sessions all day. But this time I keep worrying, I can't be patient, little things annoy me. I'm getting frustrated even thinking about thinking about it.
  3. So I have been on xanax 1mg two to three times daily for about 1-1.5 years now; Paxil is great and I don't need xanax when on paxil but it makes me manic as hell so that isn't really an option. Been thinking whether Zoloft would be any different.... Anyway, still on xanax same dosage, but just doubled my valium from 10mg at night to 20mg at night because I was waking up from sleep with difficulty breathing and panic symptoms. I asked to try ativan, eliminate the antipsychotic i use for sleep mainly since ativan 2mg really helps with insomnia, and get rid of the valium. Well she said lets try increasing the valium first then we will go from there. Valium honestly does nothing for me. At 10mg I legit feel nothing. It takes at least 40-60mg for minimal anxiety relief. I respect its long half-life but if it's not benefiting much for sleep, or other anxiety problems in the morning I feel like why should I continue it. Switching to ativan 2mg at bedtime could get me off valium and saphris for sleep (would love to not be on an antipsychotic mainly for sleep anyway). Ativan very little to no next day drowsiness, cognitive impairment, lethargy, flat mood. Refreshing sleep is what ativan gives me. Any ideas why the dr might be pushing for valium instead even after I explained it doesn't help for sleep, for anxiety, only thing it is good for is if i dont take my xanax for 1-2 weeks and I wont have a seizure, but my neurologist said lamital should cover that since it's an anticonvulsant. I don't know whether to stay on 2 benzos as the same time, whether it's xanax and valium or xanax and ativan, or to ask for an increase in xanax to maybe 5-6mg/day in divided doses, maybe 2mg twice per day and 1mg once per day, or 2mg 3x a day. My neurologist said if you need to be on these types of medications than it is warranted and pretty much OK in my case. Klonopin sucks, not as much as valium, but it does barely anything for anxiety, esp. panic, or sleep. Makes me have a depressed mood actually, while xanax uplifts my mood and helps me enjoy life without having anxious mood and panic attack symptoms. Ativan just makes me drowsy so I prefer that for sleep. My main question is regarding how i could proceed. Adding ativan, stopping valium maybe saphris, or upping xanax dose and being on only one benzodiazepine. I do have a tolerance so higher doses than 1mg sometimes are needed to stop anticipatory anxiety, avoidance anxiety, and esp. panic attacks. Restoril doesn't help with sleep surprisingly. Never tried triazolam but would love to due to its short half-life and potency/efficacy for insomnia, but my dr thinks it wouldn't be a good idea. Dr says stims may be increasing my anxiety but don't think that is the case. Really want an effective benzo combo or pick to be on xanax only, just at a higher dose. My parents think its crazy to take 3 xanax a day but it's what helps and lets me live life. Somtimes i take more than prescribed because 1mg will not help my symptoms. I just want to be on a stable dose, whether its xanax 3mg xr 1x daily with 1mg 3x daily or 2mg 3x daily. Something has got to give, and the hardest part is even bringing up increasing my xanax dose with my dr because of its bad reputation since everyone seems to abuse it nowadays. I'm ready to take a trip to mexico and take a visit to their pharmacies...
  4. I have been taking Ativan almost daily recently. I will be seeing my pdoc in another 2 weeks. Is it bad to take it daily? I don't have melt down panic attacks but I do get skaky and nervous. I feel like it just takes the edge of my anxiety and lets me relax while I'm working. Is this appropriate use or is there something else better. I suffer from essential tremors as well. Also getting rechecked on that issue this Thursday.
  5. I took Xanax and it made me sleepy without decreasing my anxiety. So we tried Ativan. After 4 days I was ready to kill myself in a VERY out of character manner. Luckily I recognized that it was due to the Ativan and sent the bottle to the box with all the other poisons I've tried that failed. Next, I tried taking a longer-acting one (Klonopin) and even that one has me fucked up the next day, albeit less-so. It's *almost* a solution in dire situations. Almost. But not. If I wasn't so fucking anxious I'd be less depressed. Or so I thought. Turns out the only energy I have is nervous energy, and when you take away my nervous energy I become a lump of human waste. Suicide starts to seem rational, not like a kneejerk reaction bourne of panic. I NEED anxiolytics to keep my job. I don't need them often, but they are very, very, very necessary when I do. Is there anything else anyone has had success with? Atarax does nothing but make me dangerously sleepy (it doesn't even help my allergies, which is its on-label use!...wtf) and Buspar gives me very bad headaches. Of course, marijuana helps, but we don't have licensing in my state yet and I don't count this as a solution because it's always a crapshoot when you get some. You don't know the potency, the ratios, the strain, etc. It is not a viable anxiety treatment at this point and I certainly cannot be taking that at work! Not until we get some dispensaries with very low THC strains. I mean, that's assuming we haven't started WWIII by then though.... Thanks.
  6. I used to be Ativan for my spikes in anxiety, paranoid actions/thoughts, and well generally to calm whatever was going on during an episode. It worked like a charm. Now my doctor has pulled his willingness to prescribe it to me again. I am also a recovering drug addict, so I understand why he has done this. However, now I have no means, except my coping toolbox, to combat the acute symptoms that drive me to unhealthy behaviors. My other meds include: Abilify and Prazosin. So, my question is this; Is there another med that others are taking for Schizoaffective that works like Ativan that I can request information from my doc?
  7. I have severe anxiety. I have been in the hospital for it. At times I cannot eat for days because of it. I break out into hives over it. I get panic attacks with a heart rate so high the doctors didn't think it was a panic attack until they could come up with no other answers. The burning chest, the panicked mind, etc. It hinders my everyday life more than my BPD, but no psychologist, therapists, or psychiatrists believe how severe it is. I have been prescribed Buspar which gave me bad muscles spasms and ticks that I could not control. Hydroxozine only puts me to sleep and only at the highest dose. Celexa and other antidepressents that are supposed to help anxiety as well only made it worse. I am pretty sure I was prescribed one other lower strength anti-anxiety medication, but it was a joke. Did absolutely nothing. When I was in the hospital, I was given Ativan, and it was the best thing in the world. It was fast, and it worked! It was only 1mg, but for some reason, it worked splendidly! The doctor wrote me a small prescription of Xanax only a 0.5mg which is supposed to be equivalent to 1mg of Ativan, however it did absolutely nothing and I threw the rest away with great disappointment. I have asked a few different psychs to prescribe me Ativan, even a small prescription for the worst of days at the lowest dose. They refused every single time because they said they would never prescribe me anything with addictive properties. I assume it is because of my daignosis or because I asked and are afraid of an addiction developing. I don't blame them for that, but that leaves me SOL considering nothing else has worked, and my life is suffering because of my anxiety. Someone recommended I ask a doctor about Klonopin. I am however, reluctant to see a doctor about it because I think I will probably just be rejected. I can only go see a general practitioner for it right now, and it is probably highly unlikely I will get it from her. I don't know that I want to waste my time just to be disappointed again. Has anyone had similar experiences where nothing else worked? Does Klonopin help any of you, and how does it compare to Ativan?
  8. OK, i'm reaching out to see what some of you think about my memory issues and what may have caused it and will it get better... I will explain what is going on first. I used to be quick with words, but a few years ago I noticed i am having difficulty trying to remember/learn anything new. But if i am hands-on and spend a lot it sinks in. Example: If i have been around a product long enough, i learn all about it by explaining it to customers and hearing others talk. But if i try reading on it or take any training, it just doesn't stick very well at first. I can't say when it actually started, but i noticed it a few years ago when i switched jobs and had to learn some new product. THIS WAS / IS EMBARRASSING to say the least when i get a question. Also, i notice i can't find certain words when trying to explain some things in general...i know that i know what i mean to say, but some words just won't come to the surface...causing a quick stammer to find the word for what i am trying to say...Then a while later, it pops into my head, needless to say, after i don't need it anymore. If i had to explain it, I would say that i feel like when i am trying to write/think that all the words and phrases rush by and don't stick so i can't recall them. My thoughts seem flash by, racing through my brain...kinda like confusion, or thinking too fast. Its like the thoughts are there, but i can't grab them fast enough. If i try to read up on something, its like my eyes dart all over and i don't retain much, if anything, because i seem to be thinking about something else at the same time. HISTORY. I have a long history of anxiety. Probably a little OCD too. Type A personality. I experienced severe Panic Attacks in 1992 that lasted about 6 months. I was put on anti-depressants at the time to help manage. In 1995 i switched to Paxil and a few years ago I tried to taper off to stop, but have come to believe that i am much better off staying on as i feel much better in most every way. I also started on Ativan and Ambien. I have been on Paxil 10MG, Ativan 2MG and Ambein 10MG ever since - 20 years. So now that my memory/cognitive issues are affecting my daily efforts, and i have tapered down and off Ativan and Ambien completely. I am in a very good place in life and things are going really well, so its been easy and for the first time i feel good without ativan help. Also, have slept without any help...been about 2 weeks now. I am NOT experiencing any anxiety and i am sleeping pretty good. Trying to read up on all this is even more confusing, so i am asking for feedback, hopefully from experience. REMEMBER, all these issue were present BEFORE i stopped the meds, and I am hoping these issues will go away over time. So, any feedback would be welcome. And sorry if this is not written well, but its what i am dealing with. Thanks in advance!!
  9. Though I came up surrounded by close family members who struggled with various mental illnesses, I wouldn't say I had an especially traumatic or even a really remarkable childhood, apart from the sporadic, sometimes episodic fireworks Crazy can bring. On the whole I had a pretty typical middle class upbringing, for which I am grateful. My older sister served as my introduction to the mysteries and miseries of mental illness. She suffered from Bipolar Disorder, and it was clear my parents despaired at her condition. There was much acting out, at least one suicide attempt that I am aware of, multiple stays at inpatient facilities, and an ever-changing cocktail of medications throughout her teens. She tapered off meds when she planned to start a family, and has done amazingly well without them. My younger sister struggles with panic disorder and more physical ailments than anyone her young age ought to be saddled with. My mother was a survivor of child abuse, and subsequent to the passing of her father when I was about 12, she suffered a series of psychotic breaks that led to the first of several inpatient hospitalizations, and a lifetime of profound treatment resistant MDD that continues to this day. Not only did she not perpetuate the cycle of abuse she suffered but I never even knew what she'd been through until I was much older. My father never (to my knowledge) sought treatment for any mental illness, and tended towards stoicism and emotional opaqueness. I suspect however that he suffered (or even suffers still) from depression -- at the very least. HIs siblings suffered from myriad mental maladies. His upbringing was somewhat of a mystery to me, as what remained of his immediate family were separated by geography. I believe he too was a survivor of child abuse, based on what I've gleaned from anecdotes. My older brother was a bit of a black sheep, and when youthful indiscretions of the self-medicating type became too much for my well-meaning folks to handle he was given an ultimatum and joined the armed services. He was stationed in South Korea, and I gather his self-medicating ways came along for the ride. Upon returning stateside he had a hard time reintegrating, finding stable work, and had to rely on the support of his family more than I think he would have liked. He was a very emotional person, and felt things very deeply. I imagine if I would have asked him for one word to describe himself he might have chosen "failure". That's certainly not how I would have described him, but he was the type of person for whom every setback might have seemed like the universe pointing a spindly celestial finger at the tip of his nose and proclaiming FUCK. YOU. By the time my brother killed himself with the sputtering exhaust of the sparkly brown hatchback my mother had given him, I was living my own kind of Crazy. Today, I find myself at a strange cross roads. I am happily married. Successful, especially considering I never finished college. I have more than my fair share of material possessions. I have family and friends whom I love, and who love me. As much as I curse those who use the phrase, I'm Blessed. And yet, I can't recall a time I felt more lost. You see, growing up as an insatiably curious child in a household surrounded by Crazy, and where both parents worked in the medical field. So I didn't just *live* with Crazy, I, in a sense, *studied* it. Psychology. Anatomy. Psychiatry. Biology. Pharmacology. And most especially *Psychopharmacology*. I was never under the illusion that reading medical texts would make me a doctor any more than reading cookbooks would make me a chef. But I found, and still find the subject phenomenally interesting. In the late 80's and early 90's before webforums, TV drug adverts, wikipedia, etc., it seemed physicians expected laypeople to know almost nothing about medicine, so much so, that if you knew even a little, and went in with talking points memorized, you were going to leave with whatever it was you came for (within reason). Maybe it's always been that way. But I certainly felt clever, and in retrospect maybe a part of the burgeoning vanguard that changed how pharmaceuticals are consumed. Modern medicine is so unabashedly, brazenly consumer driven, I doubt any clinician bats an eye when patients come in and know exactly what their diagnosis is, the name brand and dosage of the drug they want, and oh by the way I've already printed off my own coupon that makes my copay 3 dollars until the drug goes off patent in 2030. But back to my personal tale of medico-consumerism. 22 years ago, at about 14 years of age, I self-diagnosed myself with depression. PART II To Follow Later
  10. I recently started seeing a new P doc-- guy immediately takes me off 50 mg of Seroquel after my complains about weight gain and lethargy and puts me on up to 3 mg of Ativan to take at night. Not a little bit of Ativan here and there for anxiety-- like what I assume most people take, but one big dose to take at night only for sleep. I have terrible insomnia. Is that safe to take 2 mg at once at night? So far I have been taking 2 mg nightly ( every night) for sleep. Been sleeping okay. He also started me on 5 mg Abilify because to be safe, my treatment team agrees I need to be on anti-psychotic. The 5 mg is making my daytime anxiety worse ( I take it in the morning) so far it is helping my depression though as an add on to the 40 mg of Prozac I am taking. Is it common practice to give Ativan ( or any other benzo) for sleep only? Is it safe to be taking 2 mg at one time? Will I get addicted to it if I take it every night? thanks in advance
  11. I've been taking a small to moderate amount of Ativan since 2011. At first the scrip was for 30 1mg tabs a month, but that got tapered to 20 and then 15. So it's not like I'm taking it every day or anything. The problem is that it's only ever been moderately effective, and I often have to take 2mg instead of 1mg to get the appropriate anxiolytic effect. I've been reading the bipolar and other forums for a few months and seem to notice that the vast majority of bipolar people seem to prefer Klonopin over the other benzos. I myself have taken it a couple of times in the past and do recall that it had a better effect on me than the Ativan does. I'd like to ask my pdoc to switch from Ativan to Klonopin, but I'm afraid he's going to say it's because of tolerance buildup (which it isn't, it's always been this way) and won't want to do that for me. Is there a way I could couch this to him that would make it more likely he'd agree to the switch? In this day and age of addiction paranoia, I'm sure there's a right way and a wrong way to go about this.
  12. I'm Jess. I'm 22, and I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder (as recently as six days ago). I'm obviously really early in the process of finding the right combination of medications and coping through talk therapy. But for now I'm seeing both my psychologist and psychiatrist once a month, and am taking Lamictal as a mood stabilizer and Ativan for anxiety as needed. It's nice to meet you all.
  13. Hello lovelies! So, some back story first. I'm a 22 year old female. Diagnosis history: Age 8: Anxiety/panic disorder Age 12: Depression Age 15: ADD Age 19: minor OCD During elementary school I dealt with very severe anxiety symptoms. I had frequent panic attacks, wasn't able to eat lunch in the school cafeteria, and I had separation anxiety from my mother. I was started on Paxil which helped. In middle school I was diagnosed with depression. I was taken off Paxil and prescribed 20mg Lexapro per day, which was later brought up to 40mg. I self-harmed mildly and infrequently for several years but quit on my own and without psychiatric intervention. I was on 40mg of Lexapro per day up until this past March. I felt that while it had my anxiety almost completely under control (it was at least very manageable most of the time) but I was lacking motivation for many day-to-day activities. I felt tired often and like I had no drive to do day-to-day tasks. At this point I was switched to fluoxetine (aka Prozac) 20 mg per day. I found that it made me feel much more agitated than the Lexapro, but I thought it was pretty manageable so I started taking it every other day (my own choice, I did not consult with a doctor on this). That was working fine until two weeks ago, when out of nowhere I started to experience very bad anxiety symptoms for the first time in a good ten years. It started somewhat mild, with restlessness and some agitation. Then, when I tried going to my job, I felt very trapped and anxious, nauseous, and generally very agitated. After that it gradually got worse and I was less and less able to leave the house. I felt light-headed, agitated, anxious, etc. I had some leftover Lexapro and called my psych's office to see if I could switch back to that. My primary psych doc is out of the office til late October so I just spoke with the nurse on call. I was switched back to Lexapro, 40 mg a day, immediately. The next two days my symptoms were worse and my mother drove up to my apartment and took me to the ER. The told me I'd taken too much Lexapro too soon and to cut the dose to 20mg per day for a week and see how I was feeling. Two days ago was the height of the severity of my symptoms. I started feeling pressure in my chest like I couldn't breathe, I thought I was going to pass out, and I was having severe muscle tremors constantly. I couldn't walk to the kitchen without having to shake my hands and arms and even my neck. I felt weak because I'd been shaking my legs so fiercely for so many hours overnight and hadn't slept. I was having severe nausea and repeatedly almost vomited, so I called an ambulance, worried I was experiencing severe serotonin syndrome or something. At the hospital I was given Ativan which calmed me down significantly and basically put me to sleep, since I hadn't gotten more than probably 3 hours of sleep in 48 hours. I was given an Ativan prescription, as well as Zofran for nausea. Yesterday I visited a psychologist at the same clinic where my primary psych doc usually sees me. He prescribed Ativan, .5mg twice daily as needed, and klonopin, .5mg twice daily as needed. He believes I do have some mild serotonin toxicity so I am now off of Lexapro and Fluoxetine. So here's where you guys come in! Have any of you had an experience like this? What helped? I'm currently feeling less anxious and less agitated, but still slightly uneasy. More prevalent is the fact that I can't stop wiggling my leg. If I start to feel worse I'll have to start shaking my hands or my head too. It's like I can't sit still and I'm extremely restless and need to keep moving, so my leg is constantly shaking. The klonopin and ativan seem to calm it down a bit, but not completely. Thoughts? I can't try to go back on the Lexapro for awhile because there's too much serotonin in me right now. (Doc said maybe a week off of it would be okay.) Some concerns: Klonopin and ativan really relax me, so I've just been in bed for two days, basically. I worry about worsening depression symptoms. What if this leg shaking doesn't go away? Have any of you dealt with increased motor movement from anxiety where you just can't stop moving one or more of your body parts? Any other stories, tips, input, advice, etc would be so greatly appreciated! I haven't been this unwell in many, many years and I wanted to reach out to a community like this one where I'd feel a little less alone in dealing with this. Thank you all so much, and I hope you're all doing well today.
  14. Hello, I have Obsessive Ruminations that are so bad they make me feel like i'm going to lose my mind. Here's a piece of my Introduction that will explain my thoughts: "I have "Obsessive Ruminations" about life, why we are here and how none of it makes sense to me. It started when I was around 11 years old. I am the type of person that has to see it to believe it, so this whole being alive thing and there being no explanation for it really drives my mind crazy. These obsessive ruminations can get so bad that I become dizzy and disorientated, and my greatest fear is that I stay in this disorientated state permanently. The disorientated state that I'm talking about feels like I have lost my mind and nothing makes sense. Luckily, the duration of these episodes is normally only a few seconds and has only happened around ten times in my life. One thing to note is that these ruminations always start when I'm having a tough time in my life; stress, anxiety and depression can all be start of it." So, I am currently on 2.5mg/day of Abilify and 0.5mg x 4/day of Ativan. I've been on Abilify for 5 weeks and Ativan for 6 weeks. This seemed to keep my mind at peace for a while, but now I am anxious as hell an hour after I take a .5mg dose of Ativan, and sometimes I don't feel the Ativan at all... The Ativan: Without my doctor's permission (I don't see him for another week) I have bumped my dosage of Ativan to 1mg x 3/day, which seems to help, but I feel like 1mg x 4/day would really be the right dose. The Abilify: I can feel that the Abilify is blocking my thoughts somewhat, which is good, but without the Ativan it makes me feel a little strange and anxious. However, maybe bumping the dosage (only with my doctor's permission!) will help. I don't know and a worried because it makes me feel a bit strange, but mabe because my body is not completely used to it. I believe that either the dosage of the two drugs is wrong or my cocktail is wrong (I already know my brain is wrong ), so I'm curious to know what other people are taking for Obsessive Ruminations. What are you taking for Obsessive Ruminations and how much? Any thoughts or suggestions about my situation; in general, the meds, etc.? Thanks, Ryan D
  15. As per the thread title really. About 5 months ago I was given ativan to help with general and social anxiety. 1mg three times per day as required but I don't use the full dose daily and some days I take none. It does work well but I have to double up dose if I'm entering a particularly stressful situation as 1mg isn't enough, my doctor is OK with this. The downside is 2mg definitely gives some inhibition and euphoria so I have to be careful about how I behave on the rare occasions I take 2mg. My problem is I'm going through a very stressful patch at the moment that will last for at least another month. I think I would benefit from sustained relief from anxiety rather than the peaks and troughs ativan gives. I'm wondering if asking my doctor to switch me to a long acting Benzo (diazepam, clonazepam, etc) is the way to go? Or if long acting meds just increases the risk of dependence? I do not want to change my antidepressant at this time and I have never had any anxiety relief from antidepressants anyway. Strangely enough my mood is quite good at the moment I just have that sick feeling in my stomach and constant worries, racing thoughts, rumination, etc. The only concerns I have is are the long acting benzos as good for social anxiety, and how to make sure I get the correct dosage equivalent. (1mg ativan is barely effective so I don't want a lower equivalence). Any thoughts please?
  16. I have been taking Ativan / Lorazepam for around 6 months to help with social and general anxiety. Last couple of months averaging 1 - 2mg daily but sometimes more. Last week I decided to cut right down as I no longer need them for the social anxiety and my exams are over so I have less stress. I cut down to 1mg in the evenings, then .5mg and the last couple of days nothing. I'm having a severe blow up of my OCD ruminations after a triggering event. I mean my head has been going round non stop in circles for the last 36 hours or so; if it isn't ruminations then it is just a song or words going around and around. I feel highly anxious, lots of guilt with need to confess/reassurance, I have had about 5 hours sleep total over the last two nights. I know nobody here can give medical advice so I am just looking for personal experiences: Is this likely to be benzo withdrawal or just a coincidence? I know I have tapered fast but I was only on a small dose. Are these symptoms likely to get better soon or just get worse? If this IS the ativan then I feel like I don't want this crap in my system and I want to ride it out. But maybe I would be better off taking .5mg and tapering more slowly? If this isn't withdrawal then I feel like my OCD and mental health has just regressed 10 years in 3 days.
  17. I know that people develop tolerance to benzos after a period of time, but I have maintained the same dose of Ativan (4 mg) for many years. I have been stable and doing well for me. I have periods of anxiety; they go up and then back down. But starting last Monday, I just felt like something struck me out of the blue. There was nothing different going on in my life. No new stressors. No medication changes. I suddenly became extremely shaky. I never had any panic, but I described the feeling as "agitated" (although I'm not sure if that was the right word), maybe extremely edgy feeling in my brain is better. I completely lost my appetite. I would wake up shaky and instead of waiting to take my Ativan when I woke up normally, I'd have to take it in the middle of the night just to get by, but still couldn't fall back asleep. I've been sleeping 2-3 hours each night instead of my usual 7-8. I've lost 7 pounds in the last week. I attribute that to having no appetite (I have to force myself to eat), and I've also had unusually loose stools (not diahrea, but loose relative to what I normally have and a color change to yellow). I would feel OKish if I frontloaded my doses of Ativan early in the day, but of course that left me in a bind at the end of the day. I called my psychiatrist of 3 years all week and found out for the first time ever when I needed to call her that she doesn't "do phone calls." I would have to make an appointment but then found out she was out of the country at a conference. Last night the shaking hadn't subsided and I felt like I had been in hell so I went to the ER. I told them all of this. It was a really bad experience. I think they forgot I was there. After a few hours a nurse finally came in and said the doctor was leaving for the evening and I'd have to see the night doctor. I told him what was going on, and said shouldn't we order some tests in the mean time? So he did some blood work. Before the bloodwork came back, the doctor came in and wanted to put me on Abilify to calm me down. I told him I was already on Seroquel and that they're both second generation atypical antipsyhotics, and it seemed like an odd thing to add. He said he didn't know much about psychiatric pharmacology but thought that was a good one! He then asked me why I took such a small dose of Ativan! The whole reason I am addicted to Ativan is from doctors like him who think it's "benign" as he called it. He said a person of my size could be on up to 12 mg a day. I asked him if he realized that was a huge dose and he didn't think it was. I told him that for years i have been fine on this dose, and the reason I was there was to find out if something medically was wrong. He left and eventually after prodding over and over I finally got the nurse to give me a print-out of the lab results, where they apparently just tested my CBC, electrolytes, and thyroid. The doctor never listened to my stomach, ignored when I said about the lack of appetite, etc. For him it was all psychiatric before he even saw me. My dad was there with me and he laughed and said to him, "This is what the ER is like, you have a room like this that's 0 and the next one over's 100" (meaning that I was not an acute case). But it's very acute to me—I've worried I'll have to drop out of school if I don't feel better. I researched more today and I did see that gastroenteritis (an upset stomach--which I seem to have) can cause reduced drug absorption, particularly for anticonvulsants and birth control. When I asked the doctor if there could be any reason my body was suddenly not absorbing the medication, he said there was no way to know. I've been trying every relaxation technique I know. I've been doing all the things I had to do in the bad old days: meditations, hot milk, breathing exercises, but it just feels physically sick in my head nonstop. I can never let go and relax. And I know that not sleeping and eating well is compounding it. Do you think I am grasping at straws when I try to explain it as not being anxiety and being instead from reduced absorption? I've been feeling so bad that I've been obessing all week about what it is. I also theorized that maybe I have some sudden cortisol production problem like a heochromocytoma or cushing’s because I've felt very, very speedy. My blood pressure and pulse have been high as well. I've contacted my pharmacy to see if any changes were made to my drug, and it seems to be fine. Any ideas? Anyone else had this?
  18. Aint life grand when changing meds for anxiety causes anxiety? FML I have been taking Pristiq for approx 3mo's. Went directly from Celexa one morning to Pristiq the next night. Transitioning from an SSRI to an SSNRI was physically brutal, but I worked through the initial side effects (some not so negative), and found that Pristiq REALLY helped my GAD. I mean, insanely effective. But I would still have moments when I would have to fight off a panic attack--the Oh my god, I can't breathe, I CAN'T BREATHE!!!/ Oh my god, I'm having a stroke/heart attck/aneurysm while driving with my kid in the car!!!/Oh my god, the sky is falling, THE SKY. IS! EFFIN. FALLING! Don't you get it?!?! varieties. So, I would take an Ativan when I knew I would be in one of these helpless positions where the people around me would not understand/be able to help beyond taking me to the ER. As time passes, I've relied less and less on the Ativan. I like to have it with me, but I only take it as a last resort. Trouble is, between the Celexa (taken for 1yr) and Pristiq, I gained a ton of weight, and w/Pristiq, lethargy and fatigue have taken over my life. Not helpful. Not worth it for me to become diabetic to mitigate anxiety. I asked my pdoc about an SNRI, and we settled on WellbutrinSR, 50mgs to start while I ween off of Pristiq--a process I wouldn't even wish on someone I really didn't like. My energy is up, my appetite a bit lowered, but I am still well doused with Pristiq. Just found out that my pdoc wants to discontinue my Ativan rx. I am becoming nervously concerned that when the Pristiq wears off and the Ativan is gone, my anxiety might come roaring back. Such is the mind of someone so wound up about everything, everywhere, all the time.
  19. As the title says really, why would lorazepam 1mg (3 per day) not help for either agitation or social anxiety. I'm completely new to benzos having previously tried loads of other meds. I was expecting the benzo to help me cope with social interaction but so far I've used a few times with no success at all. Today I tried a double dose (2mg) and still wasn't able to talk or ask questions in class and in the end I left early. The benzo was my doctors idea and a bit of a last resort option as everything else has failed to help with the agitation and anxiety. - I'm talking years of various therapies, antidepressants, meditation, exercise, etc. Maybe my expectations were too high but I feel quite disappointed right now and I'm not sure where to go from here. My Dr said go back in 1 month but I think I need someone different as lorazepam just isn't hitting the spot. Anyone else had similar experiences?
  20. Am I on the right meds? I have bipolar/ADD, I have been to three psychiatrist and they don't actually give me a specific diagnosis. I tried antipsychotic medications didn't work. I tried Lamictal, it made me very flat, antisocial, monotone and caused bad acne. Seroquel and Saphris were both horror meds and basically f***ed me up. The only thing that worked was Adderall, so we eventually removed all the other medications (my doctors unaware and unsympathetic of all the withdrawal symptoms that occurred to which they didn't understand) After a while on the Adderall XR and dose changes from 20mg - 25mg - 30mg. It was making me feel very jittery and the come down wasn't pleasant at all. Then we went to IR Adderall, started with 10mg 2x a day then do 7.5mg 3 x a day. The IR worked much better and stabilized my mood But it wasn't lasting very long...a couple of hours at tops, so in between doses I would get irritable, have racing thoughts and be unmotivated. We then also added Ativan, as at this time I had lost my job, pretty much my friends and was alone, unmotivated being worried about useless things and scared to get a job. I was self-sabotaging myself. The Ativan which is 0.5mg, helps me and my doctor said it's fine to take 1 every day. Which I feel bad about, there have been times when I've taken it in the morning and in the evening I have anxiety again and my doctor said it's fine to take another one some days if I need it. I just don't want to be dependent on it as I have previously had withdrawal symptoms from both Gabapentin and Lamictal and Ambien which were horrific. So we decided to go to Vyvanse - which I'm only on 30mg right now, I explained to my pdoc that I checked and 30mg seemed only equivalent to 10mg Adderall (which I was taking 22.5mg a day) but she still wanted me to give it a shot. It was fine for a few days, my depression wasn't as bad, my thoughts weren't racing and I was doing stuff. But then the past week or so I've been oversleeping. Taking naps during the day, been unmotivated, tired and hopeless. I don't know what to do, my doctor said she was going to give me a higher dose of Vyvanse, so hopefully that will be better and I'm still taking the Ativan when I need it. Any advice would be appreciated...
  21. Hello. Amongst other things, I've recently been diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder. I've been put on Effexor as my daily medication, and Ativan/Lorazepam as what I take to calm me down when I'm having a panic attack or when I'm going into psychosis. Obviously, Ativan doesn't stop the psychosis, but it makes me calm enough to deal with it rationally. I've had no negative side effects with Ativan so far. Effexor, on the other hand, hasn't been great on me. I haven't gained any weight; in fact, I've lost some, so there's one positive. But I'm experiencing constant dizziness, I've blacked out about ten times, I often lose feeling in my limbs, and it doesn't seem to be helping me much with my anxiety. It did at first, which was why I was let out of the hospital, but now it doesn't have any effect in that way anymore. I don't want to tell my doctor, because if they know that everything is getting worse and the meds aren't helping, he'll probably send me back there again, and there's no way in hell that I'm going back. So, I'd like to hear others' opinions; should I just stop taking Effexor and rely entirely on Ativan, or are there negative side effects to that, too? Have you experienced anything similar on Effexor?
  22. Hello. I was given 1mg dissolve under the tongue tablets for treatment for my cymbalta withdrawal. 1mg did nothing and I was wide awake. 2mg seemed like it lessened my withdrawal a bit. An hour later I took zopiclone and went to bed around 12am or 1. The problem was the next morning. I could not get out of bed till 430pm. I slept forever. Can anyone tell me if this is a normal side effect or perhaps something that will stop happening if I continue with Ativan?
  23. Did you know you can only get 5 days worth of Ativan on an 'Emergency Prescription' in NY. I discovered that today in my endless calls to the pharmacy and my pdoc trying to get a re-supply to help me through a medication change I'm currently going through (geodon to latuda). Needless to say, the change has left me in a bit of a mixed state... agitated, uncomfortable in my own skin, etc and I thought the occassional Ativan would be a good way to ride it out. I eventually gave up on NY and had my pdoc fill it at my pharmacy in NJ and I'll pick it up when I get off the train tonight. And I think my pdoc thought I might be a bit hypomanic (and maybe I am) with all the phone calls and energy I put into getting this sorted... she left a message offering an 'emergency session' with her tonight, if I wanted it. At $200 a session, I'm willing to give the Latuda a bit more time and suppliment with the Ativan for now.
  24. ive taken ativan once in my life, and it really helped with my anxiety. how do i ask my pdoc for it without sounding like a druggie?
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