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I am nineteen years old and I haven't told my parents that I love them in eleven years. I also can't call them the traditional "mom" or "dad", but rather silly nicknames I came up with as a young child. This is confusing, especially since they are good parents. I have never been abused (by them, at least). Neither has an alcohol problem. Neither fight. I essentially am living with the Brady Bunch. Several of my friends have died in freak accidents over the years (my two best friends were killed within two years of each other when I was in elementary school, for one thing). I was abused in every sense of the world by my step grandfather. I've been in an and out of psychiatric institutions since the beginning of high school - yet, I was always visited. I was always cared about. Strings were pulled so that I could be transferred to better facilities, the works. I don't get it and most people I've talked to say the same thing: "give them a hug, for once, Bethany. Just say it. They'll be so happy." But I can't. When is the right time to say that I love someone after not doing it for so long? Do I love them? I should. I have been so blessed. I can't say it and I can't give any logical explanation for why I stopped saying those words and why I can't go back to saying them again. It all feels foreign in my mouth. Any general insight? I know I didn't give a very detailed overview; however, I didn't want to get too wordy and start on a ramble fest, which I am famous for doing. Does anyone else have the same or a similar problem? Thoughts, please.