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Found 16 results

  1. Hello. I can't remember a time when food wasn't THE main focus in my life. Even when I'm so full and can't eat another bite...my thoughts wander to what else I'll eat later. Diets, eating plans, Weight Watchers Summer Camps, gastric bypass, journaling what I eat and/or exercising will START to give results the first few weeks and then my body just basically says "F you" and shuts down. No more weight loss. If I can't get the gratification of weekly seeing measurable change in my efforts...I'm right back to food. Overeating has ruined my life. Whoever I COULD have been when I started out a sweet little girl was squandered when I somehow started using food to placate myself VERY YOUNG. Then it became a horrible guilty, shameful and "what's wrong with me" set of glasses I looked at life through. I was constantly pushed by my mom to stop eating, go on a diet and exercise. She tried EVERYTHING until well into my adult life. She too had weight/eating issues and knew what life would be like for me. She tried to help the only way she knew how but it set up a terrible vicious cycle of sneaking food to make myself feel better and loved and treated special...that's what food feels like to me. When I look at my family dynamics I can see all the ways life in general contributed to this addiction. But breaking out of it has been a constant struggle. Now for the last 2-3 years I've literally given up. I'm 58 now and it feels like, short of a miracle, I'll die fat. My hips, spine and knees are in terrible shape (of course they are). Being fat set up a way of thinking and acting in all relationships with people that I also am exhausted with. I honestly with all my heart and fiber of my being think and feel that pleasing someone else will keep them in my life and they'll pay what little attention to me they are willing to give me. Not all people have been horrible, I've had some great friends over my life...but of course, THEY HAD LIVES and I was never the center of anyone else's life. I would have done anything through my mid forties to make someone else the center of my life in hopes of finally finding someone who wanted to team up and walk through life together. Now? I'm too old. I'm too set in my ways. It's just not as important. I'm past the age of finding someone to "be a couple" with...no I'll never define who I am that way. I'm too old for kids and of course at this point I should've had grandchildren. There will be no one to take care of me as I get older. I literally hope God takes me out while I can still walk and am living on my own. I never want to be institutionalized in an assisted living/nursing home type of situation. Thanks for reading this.
  2. My pdoc and I have finally found something that works for my impulsivity/compulsivity (mainly impulse buying, which I've always had an issue with, but may or may not have been exacerbated by Abilify) and my binge eating: Memantine (Namenda). For those who haven't heard of this medicine, it's an Alzheimer's disease medicine, but it is gaining use in psychiatry for many off-label uses, including binge eating, impulse control disorders, ADHD, etc. After I was prescribed Abilify almost a year ago, I started piling up some serious credit card debt because I was impulse buying, and soon both my credit cards were beyond their credit limit. I have also dealt with binge eating for several years. My I asked my pdoc about memantine, to see what she thought about it, and if it would be worth trying for these things (I told her about my debt, and she knew about my binge eating, as we have tried several things for it). She agreed to try me on a starting dose of 5 mg 2x/day. I responded very well, as I found myself able to stave off urges to impulse buy a lot easier! I also noticed my appetite has diminished, my binge eating has subsided, and I have lost 10 lb in about the span of a week (which is starting to slow down). My next visit (my most recent visit), I told her the results, and she agreed to increase to the maintenance dose of 10 mg 2x/day, and I'm noticing the therapeutic effects are markedly increased. Next time I see her, I may consider switching to Namenda XR, which has a dose of 27 mg, which is taken just once a day. I figured I would write this post in case anyone who is dealing with these issues and might be searching for any answers.
  3. Hello all, I am currently trying to figure out how to best put a stop to my compulsive/binge eating. I am doing my best to explore potentially useful medications, and had a question for all of you. Have any of you tried zonisamide (zonegran) for these issues? I know that topiramate has a much wider user base, but zonisamide seems to be better tolerated than topiramate does. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find many testimonies online in regards to its use to help curb overeating. I am currently taking 50 mg naltrexone, and it has largely lost its effects, so I am searching for an additional medication to see if it might help. Anyway, any feedback is greatly appreciated!
  4. Hello all, This is my first post on this website. I'm posting because I have a few questions regarding compulsive/binge eating and naltrexone. First off, a little background on me. I have a pretty long history with eating disorders; I was diagnosed with anorexia when I was thirteen, and I am now twenty. In this time I have been all over the spectrum, from anorexia to bulimia to binge eating and back again. I'm so exhausted of all of this, and I just want to move on with my life. Anyway, my latest "cycle" has been in the form of compulsive/binge eating and some purging (although not very often.) I use these different terms because sometimes I will "binge" (eat a large amount in a short time) and other times I will "eat compulsively"(eat a large amount throughout the course of the day.) These differing episodes have been occurring every day for nearly three weeks, and needless to say my health has been negatively effected because of it. I became so desperate that I began researching medications that might help with this, and the one that seemed most promising was naltrexone. So, I asked my psychiatrist and she prescribed me 50mg/day. I have been taking it for nearly two weeks now, and while I have seen a bit of improvement, I still find myself overeating (in fact I had a pretty bad binge today, which is what prompted me to post here.) It is strange because it seems as though my ability to feel satiated or full is completely missing; no matter how much I eat I still want more, and my body/brain don't turn off the hunger cues. My stomach can become very distended, but I still feel "empty." Anyway, My questions are: Have any of you had success with this medication? What has been the optimal doseage for you? As I said I take 50mg/day, but I think that 100mg would be better (I sent an email to my psychiatrist today requesting an increase.) How long did it take for you to see marked improvement? As stated above, I have been taking it for nearly two weeks with a bit of improvement, but not nearly what I was hoping. Does it take time to "build up" or to introduce the full effect? I understand that medication is not a fix-all for these issues, and that work is required on my part. I would simply like to lessen or stop the constant rumination on food and eating that I experience in all my waking hours. It's driving me crazy! Sorry for the long-winded post, I'm just making sure that all relevant information is avaliable to you. I am also more than happy to answer any questions you may have for me. I appreciate any feedback or thoughts, and I look forward to interacting with you all in the future! Thanks for reading.
  5. What medications have you found that have worked for binge eating disorder or bulimia? Topamax kinda helps, but I hate the side effects (depression, hair loss, slowed thinking, tiredness, etc....) and was wondering if anybody else had success with any other medications. Or if you've found ways to deal with the cognitive side effects of topamax? Thank you.
  6. I have binged as far as I can remember, eating in secret all type of food that was "not allowed", just because I could at that instant. If it was then needed to have two dinners, I did for nobosy to notice. Then I moved to eat as much as I could when I was alone. Finally, in the unciversity I crashed, and I got topiramate and fluoxetine for my anxiety and depresion. After that I got better, but I gained 30 kg that I haven't been able to lose (200 pounds, 5" height). Now I am in treatment again with lamictal, and waiting for therapy for the binge eating. i have got the different steps to start working on my own (diary the food, eat more meals, plan the meals ahead, etc.). But I just don't do it. How can I be so stupid? I plan my meals but then I have a hamburguer instead. I pack to swim, or decide to walk but I just don't do it. It feels I fight against me, and I just gain more and more weight. I am starting to have problems to do the dayly things, I now I could die for this... But I do nothing. I really don't know how to stop destroying myself.
  7. I suffered from bulimia from 2011-14, and along with weightloss it caused all sorts of physical problems. I eventually recovered, but the binge eating kind of stayed in the background until this year, when it exploded. I've gained so much weight it's ridiculous. None of my clothes fit and I can tell my family is embarrassed, and I have no friends in this city. It's costing me, both emotionally and financially, a phenomenal amount. I keep promising myself I'll stop but never being able to. I feel like a drug addict sometimes. Who is the best person to speak to about this sort of thing? How on earth do I tackle it when I live alone and have no one but myself for support?
  8. What frustrates me is that binge eating is never taken seriously by the Mental Health System. As a child I was morbidly obese and it was never taken seriously by doctors. I was always eating, mostly as a coping mechanism. I remember I was constantly checking the fridge for food, even after dinner. I just never stopped eating. I gained so much weight that it took me 6 years to lose it. The only thing doctors did, was tell my mom that I needed to eat vegetables.... and they also gave me a voucher for the gym which didn't help economically much either. It took my Mom installing a lock in the fridge for me to lose weight. It's only recently that I can manage without the lock. I still open the fridge door to check what there is but I don't eat anything. The new way I manage is by doing my own shopping and cooking. So the way I manage to stay healthy and thin, is by buying only essential food and eating a lot of food that is low on calories so I can subconsciously tell my self I've eaten enough. I am just fed up that food effects my life so much, it is so hard to resist eating crap and my metabolism don't help either. I can cope with it, although the problem is still there and now that I am thiner it is even harder to get help for it . I am disappointed with the mental health system, I feel as they don't support everyone. They are excellent at helping me with my other problems that effect my life but not when it comes to food addiction. Does anybody feel like that anyway?
  9. hi everyone. i'm new and not sure if i'm in the right place. i have dealt with an eating disorder for about a year and a half now. i lost a lot of weight, then gained it back, and then some. i was overweight in high school and lost a lot of weight without trying my freshman year of college due to ptsd. (fun times!) i got a lot of praise for that, from my parents, old friends, etc. it felt so good to go home and hear people say "wow, you're SO tiny" and now... i'm not as big as i was in high school, but significantly bigger than i was this summer. i'm so scared to go home in a month, to have people notice, to have them talk behind my back. when i was thin, i felt like the other fucked up stuff in my life didn't matter, because at least i looked good. now i just feel like a loser. what on earth do i do?
  10. Hello everyone I am desperate need of some advice. I suffer from social anxiety, panic, GAD, depression and binge eating/emotional eating. I was on Effexor XR x75mg for about 7 years. I was fine until about year 4 of use when it started to cause extreme teeth grinding and clenching out of no where. I tried switching medications to Pristiq.. still grinded/clenched... tried switching to Cymbalta.. grinding and clenching continued. I also added BuSpar into the mix.. did not help. I went off of my meds for about 4 months and the grinding and clenching all but went away. However the severe anxiety and binge eating returned. Doctor has me trying Celexa for the last 5 days. Binge eating and anxiety is gone however i am still experiencing teeth grinding and clenching, acid reflux, severe out of it feeling with fatigue, i will also loose track of time or "zone out" for hours on end, no energy etc. I have taken Ativan (Lorazepam) on occassion and it has not caused teeth clenching/grinding. What medication do i try if all SSRI & SNRI cause teeth grinding/clenching and benzo's are only good for a short while? This is horrible I dont know what to do! I am also terrified of weight gain from SSRI/ SNRI as i gained 50+ pounds on Effexor. HELP
  11. I'm a person who has used Naltrexone as per the Sinclair Method (1 x 50mg 1 hour before drinking alcohol) to beat my destructive drinking and save my life. Now I no longer drink alcoholically the old binge, comfort eating and bulimia has come to the fore. I've always had a tendency to over eat but I can be so controlled at other times. I'm also an athlete but do have a proper nutrition plan which I do stick to however when I let loose I really let loose. This is affecting my confidence, my work and my sport. I am really fed up and want to change. Since I already have a Naltrexone prescription and support from my GP (I'm UK based) I'd like to explore using it to help with these issues. I've also had approximately 60 hours of therapy with a PCC/TA private counsellor, which I'm currently doing as part of a group although I've booked myself a 1-2-1 this week so I can bring this issue to the fore instead of thinking I can deal with it and it'll go away. If anyone can help me with how to use Naltrexone as part of this I'd appreciate it. I'm not on any other meds although I was prescribed Prozac about 15 years ago. If anyone would like to know what the Sinclair Method is here's a link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinclair_Method it works on directly breaking the link between alcohol and endorphins, for me this means I no longer have any cravings for alcohol whether I take Naltrexone or not. I only have to take the Naltrexone when I drink in order to maintain this, and I drink like a 'normal' person - ie can get drunk if I want, or decide one glass is enough. Alcohol just doesn't bother me on the days I don't drink or take the med.
  12. I feel like I've improved so much over the past couple years and the only thing that remains constantly out of control is binge eating. I feel so shameful about it and about my body and the weight gain I've experienced. I don't even want to be seen by other people. I've gained nearly a hundred pounds. Can anyone relate? Anybody have any tips? I just want to eat normally. I don't remember the last time I enjoyed something I ate, and I've done the "mindful eating" stuff and it just doesn't do anything for me. I feel fuller faster but that doesn't help because I associate that "full" feeling with binge eating and it only aggravates the compulsive eating behaviour. I do a lot of secret eating and I hate it so much. I get so frustrated with myself. When I do manage to stop binge eating, I get discouraged because weight loss doesn't come easy for me--I have a sluggish metabolism. I hate that people assume because I'm fat that I'm lazy. I do cardio several times a week and walk a great deal every day. It's not lack of exercise and laziness, it's not a lack of education about nutrition, its out of control eating. My health is fine, blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. is in the perfect range but I think that's mostly because I don't eat a lot of "junk" or processed foods. Like I said, it's not what I'm eating, it's the behaviour itself. I've brought it up with my psychiatrist but I find him more judgmental than supportive on this topic. He constantly points out if I've gained more weight and asks about my habits even though he knows that as a teen I starved myself for years. I realize that it is his style, he's always been honest with me and I appreciate that, but this is also something that doesn't need to be pointed out to me. I think about it every day. I hate that if I talk about any of my other obsessions/compulsions people are understanding but my binge eating is just because I am a slob or have no discipline. It's ridiculous. I've tried going on weight loss forums online but I feel I have nothing in common with those people. For them they have problem foods like sweets or junk. I don't have that issue. I will binge on food I outright dislike.
  13. Hey everyone. I am a diagnosed bulimic and I have major issues with binge eating. For my 5'4" frame, being over 160 lbs is torture due to my anorexic past of being underweight. Anyways, I realized I couldn't live like this anymore and just started doing the day intensive treatment program at the Renfrew Center in the US. Has anyone been to an ED treatment center? Did it help? I'm having issues sticking to my meal plan and not binging horribly at night, mainly due to my fear of going to bed on an empty stomach and insomnia-like tendencies. Anyways I started mid-week last week and would like any input from you all!
  14. I have been a binge eater since I was a child and have found that most of my behaviors manifest themselves at night. Don't get me wrong, I can certainly binge eat during the day, but I definitely have much less control at night. I eat dinner and after that I can't stop obsessing about food and eating nonstop. Eating everything in the house and going out to the nearest store to pick up a ton of food and binge on that all night long. Doesn't matter how much conviction I have during the day to lessen my bingeing at night- I do it anyway. I am seriously out of control. feel like I have read every book out there, tried every therapy, etc etc. Nothing has helped. Scared to death. Just wondering if anyone else finds nighttime more difficult in terms of compulsive eating/food obsessions?
  15. I've been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and binge-eating disorder, and I'm 99 percent sure I'm suffering from comorbid depression. I have been seeing a therapist on and off for the past few years, but I'm currently living and working in a very remote area, and my options are *extremely* limited (the best I can do is a marriage counselor and an LBGT therapist who specializes in addictions, and neither of them accept my insurance). I feel absolutely out of control and helpless. I have two months' worth of Wellbutrin that I've considered taking to help me with the depression, but it exacerbates my anxiety. I haven't been able to stabilize my binging, which has also been out of control. I keep trying to practice stress-relieving techniques and read self-help books, but it feels like things continue getting worse. I take Klonopin as needed, but it's not nearly as effective as Ativan was (my psychiatrist, who is now out of network and on the other side of the country, decided the Ativan was too strong). My psychiatrist also prescribed Paxil, which I have, but I'm too terrified to try it because of the potential weight gain (I had the pleasure of that on Lexapro). I'm also scared to start a medication when I no longer have access to a specialist. I'm gaining weight already because of the binging, which is severely stressing me out. Do any of you have advice for someone in my position who doesn't really have access to therapy? My insurance doesn't cover phone sessions, but I could really benefit from talking through my issues with someone. I'm beginning to wonder if just talking to anyone at all is better than what I'm dealing with.
  16. Okay, so.. My crazyboards blog title here used to be 'happiness is a warm pizza.' Now, I don't agree with that. Lots of things have happened to make me realize what kind of problem I have. When I was visiting my girlfriend, I was disappointed when we didn't eat as much as we could have. I stole a slice of pizza from her when her grandmother said it was okay, even though she didn't get to eat much of it at all. We went to a sushi bar, and I was pouting-- pouting-- when she told me to put a little plate back because we reached our 20 dollar budget. My whole life has revolved around food. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat. When I'm angry, I eat. I look forward to food every day. Well, recently I haven't been looking forward to it as much as I have in the past. Whenever I eat, I feel like I shouldn't be. Hell, I went to the doctor last week and I weighed 270. That's about 24 more pounds than I weighed over the summer. I went back today, and I was 277lbs. Granted, I was wearing a heavy jacket, I still.... God, I knew I had to curb my appetite, but this means I really really need to lose weight. I'm a compulsive overeater. I have been since my father decided to overfeed me as a baby. It just stuck. And now I'm pushing 300lbs and wondering what the hell I'm going to do. I feel like I'm out of control. My weight is just the icing on the cake. I eat like a pig, and I'm absolutely disgusted with myself. All I see is fat. I used to just see chub, but now I'm morbidly obese and I just.. I feel awful. I'm trying not to eat as much as I have before, and I've been doing a good job, but I think it's the things I eat. I don't know. I just wanted to put this here. For the first time in a long time I feel like my body is out of my control and I hate not having control within myself. I hate it. I hate it so much. I'm going to talk with my tdoc about this. I just wanted to .. you know, put this here. I'm going to need help. If anybody has any advice, it would be much appreciated. Thanks.
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