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Found 572 results

  1. I was on Olanzapine for about one year and during that time I did excessive spending which may have caused lowering impulse control and consequently am now in bankruptcy. Have been off Olanzapine since December, 2018. In March went on Seroquel and experienced manic situations, where I was out of control (never had this happen to me before). I became excessively hostile towards a clerk in Walgreens, reduced my veterinarian to tears and alienated alot of my neighbors by my raging. We upped the Seroquel thinking I was having my first manic episode, it only made everything worse. Since coming off of Seroquel in last two weeks, I am now calm and the urge to act out aggressively is gone and I am mortally embarrassed about my behaviors. New psych doc now, former one retired. Started Reluxti two days ago at .5 mg. First day experienced some brain zaps and thinking it might have been due to the mixing of recently going off of Seroquel and introducing Reluxti. Today, no brain zaps. Taking Benadryl to help with insomnia as Rexulti may become stimulating. I know this is a very expensive drug and being on Medicare I do not qualify for any of the manufacturer's savings plans. My new psych doc believes he can keep me on his extra supplies forever or until they go generic. I am worried about being on this drug and loosing him as a psychiatrist and ending up with a co-pay of $400.00 a month and ending up in the Medicare Donut-hole very quickly. The trial pack he gave me has a 14 day supply. I recently did a gene study thru GenOMind. I am an ultra-rapid metabolizer and subject to many skin issues. When I first saw him, he became very frustrated with me and didn't believe me that I can't tolerate most of the behavioral meds out there but once he got the gene study, he then understood. The only drug he would suggest is Rexulti. I am in a quandary as to what to do about going on this very expensive medication with no way of paying for this and getting stuck on this drug should I loose my new psych doc and his many samples. Purple
  2. I have a dark, defeatists attitude. I will migrate to the negative view. I rarely can or will hold on to positive things, I miss out on life's joys and pleasures as I have been in the pit for so long So, my therapist has asked me on a daily basis to come up with 3 positive affimations. I have expanded it a bit to include things I am grateful for as well. I started to list my three things in my blog, probably still will. I have found it difficult but really rewarding. Really really rewarding. I have to think hard some days and others they flow. I want to hear your three things. I want to pass on the change that I have been given from what seems a simple task. So I will go first: 1) summer is here 2) I love the color green and am surrounded by it. 3) I get joy out of coloring, makes me feel better and distracts me when I need distracting. Okay so what are your three things?
  3. I've been relatively stable with a few jags here and there for almost 2 years, and suddenly I'm experiencing some depression that has me in tears at times, as well as anxiety that results in panic attacks so bad that I feel like I can't breathe. I'm very emotionally labile, reactive to any trigger, sending me to seclusion with my depression. The only thing that has changed is that I swapped Dexedrine to Bontril-PDM for my weight management (and with Bontril-PDM, off-label ADHD management, idiopathic hypersomnia management, and treatment of refractory bipolar depression). I'm thinking this may be the trigger, but I needed to take a break from Dexedrine because my receptors were too desensitized to it and I was starting to gain weight, sleep all day, become very inattentive (like almost having wrecks kind of inattentive), and feel a little depressed. So I may have identified my trigger, but I need to take a good break from Dexedrine so when I resume it, it will work as it did when I first started it. My question is how does one prevent depression (neurochemical, not cognitive)? Is there something that can be temporarily added to my cocktail? I see my pdoc Friday. I have tried lithium and it causes seizures. Depakote makes me a zombie. Lamictal causes horrendous acne. I'd rather not add a second antipsychotic. Increasing the antidepressants seem to do nothing. Should I just get back on Dexedrine ASAP? Or continue to give it a break and try other alternatives? I thought about trying Ritalin again, but a much higher dose than I've tried before, like 40-60 mg in Metadate CD form (the only form I felt anything from with methylphenidate). Concerta and regular Ritalin are useless, and I've heard bad things about Ritalin LA. Any responses or insight would be much appreciated! Thanks in advance!
  4. Second post on this forum (woohoo!), but, I was wondering if anyone has any advice for smoothing out a relationship between two bipolar people. My fiance and I have been together for nearly three years now, engaged for almost two of those years, we're both under the age of 25 (but over 18), we live together, and we're both bipolar. She has Type I and I'm just recently diagnosed Type II. Both our diagnosis(es?) have been in the past year, and we've both been trying medicines (her first, then me as my dx came months after); she is presently unmedicated. We both see the same psychologist but different prescribing doctors/GPs. We do not presently do any sort of couples therapy, our therapy sessions are separate and confidential. Our relationship in all it's years has always had very rough spots that we stick out because we genuinely love each other and care for one another, and want to see each other grow/be apart of each other's lives. However, our MIs (bipolar, ptsd, possible schizo-spect disorder on our end) have nearly ripped us apart for good many times. We took an almost month long break after our most recent big falling out, out of desperation to try and amend ourselves and our relationship. Being apart for a bit seemed to help, but we seem to have fallen right back into the "cycle" of our relationship. The extreme highs and lows that are no doubt also attributed to our bipolar. Does any have any words of wisdom or advice to think about/keep in mind when trying to keep the relationship afloat? We genuinely do love and care for one another and want to make what we have at our best work. It just seems to get more and more difficult. Hopefully meds will help even us out, we know we need to work on ourselves to help the relationship. Anything is much appreciated! -P
  5. Hello all, I'm looking for some med experience/anecdotes! I am bipolar and also have anxiety, ADHD, and PTSD. Currently I'm taking Lamictal (400mg/day), Geodon (80mg/day), and Adderall (25mg/day). I'm looking to change it up because I am seriously struggling with the side effects. Since starting Geodon I am tired all the time (it doesn't help that I'm in the midst of a depressive episode) and I've gained 20+ pounds in two months. I think it's helping with the manic side (or maybe that's just because of the depressive episode I'm in?) but I can't deal with these side effects. The Adderall works great for my ADHD but I think it's making me too edgy/irritable for my liking. On top of it I have been having terrible anxiety lately. I'm meeting with a new PMHNP next week and I like to research my med options ahead of time so that I feel more informed and can advocate for myself. I'm interested in Wellbutrin because it doesn't have weight gain associated with it, it helps with binge eating and supposedly helps you quit smoking (both current concerns of mine), and can work for both depression and ADHD. I'm also interested in Buspar as a possible anxiety med? I like that it also isn't associated with weight gain and that it isn't supposed to be sedating. I've also taken Abilify in the past (before I took Geodon) and didn't experience any terrible side effects other than it making me sleepy but maybe combined with the right thing that wouldn't be as much of an issue? Anyone have experience with this combo or a similar one? Any and all feedback appreciated! The med game is so overwhelming.
  6. Hi guys, So I've been depressed and have had severe anxiety for 3 years. Antidepressants make me hypomanic (kinda) and triggers unstable mood. I don't fit in the usual description of bipolar, but there is definitely something not right about the way i react to antidepressants - feeling high, warm, racing thoughts x 100, gets overly chatty etc. I've tried the following moodstabilizers Lamotrigine (disaster) Trileptal Gabapentin Abilify (made me hypomanic) Seroquel (made me hypomanic) Depakote/valproate (still taking) This depression is killing me, but my p.doc. won't prescribe me lithium. Tried two different doctors. What are your thoughts?
  7. Hi guys, So I'm withdrawing from Gabapentin 900 mg. I'm down to 300 mg every second day. About a month and a half ago I tried going from 300 every day to 300 every second day - skipping a dose every other day. At first it went just fine, but then at the second week mark i started getting really depressed and began crying all the time. I then went back up to 300 every day and I started feeling better again. Two weeks ago i went back down to 300 mg every other day, and again the first week was fine, but now I am experiencing the same thing all over again. So - I know this is a popular question - but is this just withdrawal or is it a relapse? I am not otherwise experiencing any other symptoms. Has any of you gone through gabapentin/neurontin withdrawal? And has anyone else experienced this pattern? I am taking it for bipolar disorder NOS and anxiety, but it hasn't really helped that much. I am also on Mirtazapine and Depakote
  8. I was prescribed Vraylar as a mood stabilizer for MDD, which I have been diagnosed with for 20 years, along with ADHD and social anxiety. Until I Vraylar gave me an acute manic episode for over a year, which I hid from my doctor because it was so much better than being depressed. But then I came clean and we realized I actually had hypomanic episodes about 2ce a year, but didn’t realize it, I just thought I had some energy. Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else has had this reaction to Vraylar?
  9. I made the prolonged mistake of not refilling my meds for about 3 weeks. Whoops! I'm on 20 mg of aripiprazole (Abilify) and 200 mg of lamotrigine (Lamictal), which I've been on for about 2 years in varying doses. So my friends finally took me to the pharmacist today to pick them up, but I want to make sure I'm safe about going back on. Should I slowly increase dosages? Or can I just start back on my normal amount ASAP? I would go to a psychiatrist to figure this out, but I there aren't any appointments for another 2 weeks.
  10. I will try to keep this brief. I was always depressed and my senior year of college (a year ago) I had a major psychotic break where I literally thought I was flying through the universe. I was hospitalized in for two weeks, and I have been trying to fine tune my meds. I am working closely with my Pdoc, but am getting very discouraged. Any input would be appreciated. Lithium is what brought be out of my mania, and I have been on 900mg er every since. I have gone thru Latuda. Could only get to 60 mg. I took with food, but still felt ill most of the time. Cannot take Lamictal due to headaches. Tried Vryalar and I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. I am now up to 4mg of Rexulti as of last weekend. My Paranoia is the highest it has been since my hospitalization. Saw my Pdoc Friday and he said too soon to tell on the increased dosage and I can go from 7. out of 10 to 3 out of 10 in a matter of minutes. He added a small dose of Lexapro to help with my depression. Rexulti has been the best drug from a side effect profile. If I could rid myself of the paranoia I would almost be normal. Does anyone have any suggestions? Really appreciate it.
  11. Hi there, I've just started using CBD oil. Has anyone had any experience of using this?
  12. ANYBODY WITH BIPOLAR WANT TO SHARE? This is a place to share something you feel like sharing when you do not want to open a thread or post in an existing thread. This thread does not have a topic. You can share about anything you want (just follow CB Terms). The next person's share can be on a completely different topic. It does not necessarily need to relate to the previous share(s). The purpose of the thread is be heard and to give support and encouragement to others. So what would you like to share?
  13. This is something I’m thinking about a lot lately. People without a mental illness don’t understand the costs we have: broken relationships, lost jobs, and poor spending episodes (putting it mildly). Add in all the costs of meds, doctor visits, therapy appointments - I didn’t choose this, but it is what it is. Staying on meds, for me, has created some stability after years without any. But now I face homelessness in a couple days unless a miracle occurs. I’m pissed off at myself for HAVING this, although I can’t control that I do. I’ve been depressed for quite a while, but still able to get to work. Over a year ago, when first diagnosed, I was off a few months, a total wreck, and am still crawling out from the financial fallout. Last month the pdoc added a new med. Within a week, I was hearing voices (not something I do) and was terribly depressed and had suicidal ideation. I quit the med and felt better within a week. During that time I took two days off work and hibernated, feeling hopeless and majorly depressed the first day. The next day I went to the pdoc and told her the effects of the new med I’d stopped. I went because my work demands a dr note to return to work. Telling her I felt like crap but have to work because I’m alone and have no back-up for money, I needed the note. She refused and said I’d get no note until I went through IOP. I went and after week 3 I told a dr there I’m ok and can’t continue because I must work. Got the note, no problem. They said they wanted me to stay off at least 2 more weeks, maybe more, but gave me the release. *sigh* Been back at work a couple wks and doing pretty well. The first of the month came and I had no way to pay my rent. A small disability pymt was expected but hadn’t arrived (not enough for rent anyway). The way our pay works, and since I was gone 3 wks, no pay for me until the end of the month. Yesterday I came home to a 3 day notice on my door. The property management is a big corporation and not willing to even give a few days and see from my dr release I’ve been out, doctor’s orders. I’ve asked a couple of people but they can’t help. I’m sad that I’ve failed. Loathing myself and my illness at all right now, I’m just hit in the face how much having this sucks. The costs go way beyond buying something one doesn’t need. Even when doing things the way they’re supposed to be done, it still can bite ya in the butt. Tired. Exhausted. Fed up. Rant over.
  14. Over the past month, since my mood swings have become more prominent, I am not sure if these are hallucinations I am having or not. I see out of the corner of my eye, fleeting forms, but when I turn my eyes to the object in the room, it disappears. This morning I saw a white cat sitting in the bathroom staring at me out of the corner of my eye just near the doorjam, when I looked it disappeared. But I am seeing things like this continually throughout the day.
  15. Hi, I have Epilepsy and I'm also Bipolar. I have been taking Lamotrigine for years which tackles both. I started taking Topamax for my Epilepsy and it's given me serious issues with finding words, so I need to change. I also take Abilify for the Bipolar issue. I've been reading about Vonisamide for Epilepsy, and am curious if anyone has taken it along with Abilify or with Lamotrigine and Abilify. Thanks so much!
  16. Just wondering if anyone out there has had any experiences with the medication Rexulti (brexpiprazole)? My psychiatrist chose to give this a try (2mg) after evaluating and attempting to treat my persistent manic symptoms -- I would go days without sleeping and not feel tired, racing ideas and thoughts, increased in "goal-directed" activity like cleaning the kitchen for hours and sexual promiscuity, inflated self-esteem, inattention or inability to focus, pressured speech, rapid talking, and hyperactivity. Seroquel is super effective for stopping my mania but the negative cognitive effect and zombification I experienced were too much, and this was only at 50-100mg If you have tried Rexulti please share your experiences with it in terms of treating your symptoms of bipolar disorder, whether or not it worked for you, side effects you experiences, and the main symptoms that resulted in you trying this medication. So far it has been about a week on Rexulti 2mg, and I am beginning to notice a slight increased in motivation and better time-management, which really surprised me given my past experiences with AAPs. This could be due to other medication, as my dexedrine dose has increased from 40mg to 60mg, but I have been on this high of a dose in the past and not noticed the increased thought organization and motivation to complete tasks/assignments before the last minute. It hasn't directly induced sleep as Seroquel did, but I do notice I am getting on a better schedule. Also, if you have not tried Rexulti but have been on Abilify (aripiprazole), I would be happy to hear your experiences as well, given that the two are similar in structure and chemical composition (I acknowledge that despite this, the two can still have very different and distinct effects).
  17. I didn't realize this until I was reading another post, but here it is again, the first day of Fall in the US in two days. Already leaves are turning colors, falling, and the light outside is changing. Usually every change in season, I have one or two manic episodes. Last night had what I believe was my first manic episode in a long time. But last evening was scarier, all the typical symptoms of mania along with visual disturbances and sensations I had never experienced before. Left a vmail message on my psych docs line this morning thinking this is the smart thing to do, it usually takes alot for me to bother him in between sessions, but he does encourage this, fortunately. I left him the data and left it up to him if he feels he needs to call me back next week. I see him in two weeks. So, I remember my psych doc telling me once in a mood change, one can take a little extra medicine to help. I only take Seroquel as needed, so took 1/2 of a 25 mg of Seroquel and nothing happened. Thirty minutes took the next 1/2 of the 25 mg and finally sleep arrived. I slept 14 hours straight and when I woke up, I woke up to a totally different person. That scary weird out of control mood was no longer there (thought I was going to have to call 911 for help), the cycling was almost gone and slowly drifted away throughout the day. I am 67 and finding that my brain is functioning differently lately. It's beginning to scare me, of course the aging process is very scary. I have addressed this with my psych doc many times, even my neurologist and they do not seem concerned. I had an MRI and all was normal there for someone my age. These are all new symptoms to me, or maybe the same but more dramatic, I think. I have had more than my share of significant triggers last 9 months. I tried therapy last two weeks and actually ran out of the therapists room last week due to a panic attack. I warned her not to push. I even had it all written out for her to read, but oh no, she wanted me to verbalize it and then she swung into asking me about bodily feelings, that was when I ran out of her room in a blind panic. She wanted me to reveal too much stuff too fast and I kept warning her. Will not go back to her. So, now I have to get up the courage to seek out someone else. My psych doc will not refer me to anyone, as is his way, which makes it harder on me. Okay, will close for now.
  18. Hi there! Recently a new girl has started work, and I've taken a liking to her. The trouble with this is that I've walled myself off from other people for around 7 years. I've been managing to deal with my illness by not talking to other people, not having friends, not having a partner. I wasn't looking for anything with this new girl, but unfortunately, my body has had other ideas. I've been hit by a wave of emotions for her that I'm just not able to deal with. What makes it worse is that she's been seeing a guy for 14 years and there's no chance that we will ever get together. I think that she was attracted to me when we first started talking; I don't think that she would want to go out with me still, but life isn't black and white. I was flattered that she was like this, but I didn't push the issue, I knew how things were. On the mood scale chart that I keep seeing everywhere, I'm normally between 5-8. Since this has all started. Since her turning me down, I'm now between 2-5 most of the time, I think I've dipped down to 1 twice in the last couple of months. With my mood being all over the place, it is becoming more difficult to talk to her and I think she's pushing me away now; I can see things from her perspective and I can't blame her. Recently, she's been smiling at someone else in the office that isn't me and I'm having difficulty with it. It all feels so stupid, but I've now let someone have too much power over me and it is keeping my mood low. I don't know how to get out of this. I'm worried that if it continues I will need to take time off work and if that happens I might lose my job, my house, etc. I need help! Does anyone have any suggestions for how I can move on more quickly? Has anyone dealt with similar issues?
  19. In your experience have you taken an antidepressant specifically an SSRI and it made you activated, agitated, irritable and unable to sleep
  20. Hi. Years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar II but after 6-7 years of messing with med cocktails I'm seriously wondering if I'm not just depressed and that's that. I've never had mania. Never had a "high". I definitely get depressed- and sometimes, when not medicated, I can get extremely irritable. My psychiatrist says that the irritability is my version of "mania" but I've never seen anyone else describe going through this or having this kind of bipolar. I've never seen this listed as the symptoms of bipolar anywhere. I don't fit the criteria of bipolar II that I've seen written anywhere. I just can't relate to anything I've read. Also, when I get depressed, it's accompanied by sheer panic. Not flat-out panic attacks but just feelings of dread and fear. I become convinced I'm going to lose my job, lose my house, etc. Things at work haven't been perfect but the level of fear I experience is completely out of proportion to the situation and it feels "chemical". I also feel like someone is sitting on my chest... I feel it in my chest and shoulders. It's bizarre. Can anyone relate to any of this?
  21. I know that a lot of bipolar folks take an SSRI as part of their daily regimen of meds and apparently it seems to help. But there's some growing concern in the pdoc world now that SSRI's may be causing manic symptoms and even directly causing manic episodes. I was on SSRI's for 10 years before quitting last October. In chronological order: Celexa, Zoloft, Celexa again, Lexapro, Zoloft again, Prozac, Zoloft again briefly, back to Prozac to close it out. For me, personally, after stopping them altogether, I was able to see what they were doing to my system. I truly believe they made me much more unstable and greatly increased compulsiveness and just made a bad situation worse. Switching from Lexapro to Zoloft sent me immediately full-on hypomanic for over a month in early 2015. I was high as a kite and on top of the fucking world. It was unreal and so obvious at the time. From the beginning of it, I was certain something unusual was going on. Now I wasn't diagnosed bipolar yet, just depressed, so I didn't even know what hypomania was then. It fizzled out eventually (sigh) but I had at least two more, shorter, and less intense episodes late spring 2015. I've not had anything quite as euphoric as those since. My last pdoc expressed some concern about the prozac but wasn't very insistent on me stopping it, just that I would want to eventually. I've since read that there is increasing concern in the pdoc community. Yet a lot of bipolar people still take SSRI's and don't seem to have problems. Do SSRI's seem to help your causes? Do you notice any unusual side effects? Have any of you stopped taking SSRI's and noticed a change? Other comments? This could be interesting.
  22. I noticed a few people on the board talking about having problems in summer. I was curious about whether the months of July and August are activating for you? If do you think this is from sunlight or heat? Is the pattern consistent for you from year to year? What do you do about it?
  23. How many people here work consistently (full-time or part-time?) and how are you also able to also manage this condition successfully? Is your job high-level/stressful or is it a relief/distraction? Have you ever had to take medical leave, had frequent hospitalizations or have you ever been "let go" due to your issues? Also: Do you live alone or with roommates or with your parents? Have great supportive friends that regularly check-in with you? Do you worry about losing your health insurance and being able to afford treatment? I'm just curious how other people here cope.
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