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Hey guys. I've just gotten into quite a panic after considering an incident I had earlier this year. I've been primarily convinced that my issues are related to HPPD (Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder), though this incident has always been on my mind to some extent I suppose. I suffered from acute hyponatraemia at a festival I went to in January: it was incredibly hot, so I was drinking a lot of water (and only water, I was 100% sober the whole time). When I got quite a bad headache, of course I've been told all my life that water's the best solution, so I kept on drinking :S. After jumping around for a bit at a concert, I left and had a tonic-clonic seizure, accompanied by falling over and hitting my head. The next 12 or so hours are missing from memory save what I've been told and blurry pieces here and there. A couple found me and took me to the paramedics, I can recall having very slurred speech and laboured comprehension interacting with them. They didn't really stick around to describe what had happened very thoroughly which is unfortunate. Apparently I was very dazed and out of it. I woke up in the ER, while peeing for a drug test managed to drop the bottle of piss all over the floor before falling asleep again, so I guess that's an indicator of how gone I was at the time. I'm really not sure just how adequate the initial treatment was because they'd assumed it was all because I'd taken drugs (I hadn't) and were trying to "flush anything out" before treating whatever else. They tested my vision and I had a blindspot in the left field where I couldn't see the torch they were holding. This lead to me being kept in the hospital over the weekend (not a fun time). When I got out, people were telling me for a couple of weeks that I still didn't seem completely with it. What's followed has been a year of hell, of course, but I don't know what role that episode has played. Of course, at the time I was already experiencing pretty unpleasant HPPD (hallucinogen persisting perception disorder). I really can't remember too well how different life was before and after the incident, save that it was really shitty all around. I had an MRI and EEG at the time which weren't remarkable save for a slight white spot in the upper-right (really not sure exactly where and don't have the scans on me at the moment) "consistent with having bumped my head" which I was assured was mild and would recover quickly. I'm aware though that a lot of brain damage just can't be picked up by typical scans and now I'm fretting that I'm not only looking at HPPD but also an undetectable ABI. I'm just wondering if anyone knows what I'd best do in this scenario? I've read that there are more sensitive scans that can detect the "shearing of brain cells" from traumatic brain injuries that would normally go undetected but still cause a notable blow to cognition. I read something about a qEEG possible also being of value. I'm not sure if there's anywhere I might be able to receive any such specialised scans in Australia, or indeed whether I might have already undergone the best analysis I have access to. The scans I've received were at the Australian Brain and Mind Research Insitute which has a sizeable neurology sector but I'm not sure of just what scans they might've run given my main claim at the time was drug-related impaired cognition... They did know about the hyponatraemiac seizure episode, of course, so perhaps they ran tests with that in mind... I don't know whether it's appropriate to email the research professor I've been seeing about this, I don't really want to bother him with a spur-of-the-moment hypochondriac rambling... He's clearly a very busy, highly qualified guy who's gracious enough to consult patients when he can. Fuck. Being in a situation like this really does foster rampant hypochondria. Fuck all this ambiguity about what's caused what... I'm just quite panicked right now. Eugh
Okay, so I live with my mom and my grandparents. My mom is going through some serious stuff right now. A couple years ago she was in a back car crash where a little car pulled right out in front of her van and she broad sided them. It gave her serious whiplash problems with her neck. (Luckily, the other drive was ok). About a year ago, she fell and hit her head really hard on the corner of our concrete step (right between the eyes). We took her to the emergency and about half way through the visit, she started acting really loopy (wanting to get out of bed and wander around, super cheerful, wanting to stay to look at the art after she had been released (we had been there around 5+ hours at this point, it was around 3 or 4 AM). I've noticed over the past 5 or so years her mood has progressively gotten more and more unpredictable. She'll sway dramatically from being super upbeat and positive about the future to thinking everything is absolutely horrible and breaking things and throwing stuff. She's been unemployed for around 8 years now, but she has a masters in speech, a 4 yr in occupational therapy, and a 4 yr in social work, so it's not like she can't function and apply herself. But my uncle died, and then all this stuff happened, and she basically fell apart. it seems like it's been getting progressively worse for these last few months. She holds some serious grudges against my grandparents for things that happened when she was a kid/teen/young adult, and even though they give her a roof over her head, don't make her pay rent, and let her eat their food, and basically make a mess out of the house at times, she still acts as if she's been seriously wronged. I know I can't relate to where she's coming from since I didn't have the same situations as she did growing up, but I hate when I get placed in the middle of things, even though she claims she doesn't. The most recent thing that happened, was she consulted a chiropractor, that said that he would be able to help her with her neck. Her neck injury is so severe that she can't lift or lower her head, and has to keep it at a... 90 degree angle from her neck, if that makes sense? Basically it's looking straight forward, and not up or down at all. We found out that a few of her neck vertebrae are so bad that they are basically flipped and completely out of alignment. Like, one is completely tilted the wrong way, or something. Anyway, my grandpa asked how much the chiropractor visit would cost, and she lost it, since money is a sore spot for her. I know my grandpa was just trying to plan a head, but she took it completely the wrong way, and from that point on, it's been like walking on egg shells around her. She's started saying she won't take another cent from him, despite the fact that he's told me he doesn't mind helping her financially at all, it's just that he needs to know a head of time the price of things so he can plan his budget accordingly. I just feel completely useless and helpless in this case. I love both my mom and my grandfather dearly, and there's just this huge gap that's widening between them right now and I can't do anything about it. I keep telling my mom she needs to talk to a counselor, and not me, who is someone from her family and not removed, but so far she hasn't taken my advice. I just feel... so drained. I'm already stressed because of a full load of college courses that suck up 70% of my time, and an internship that sucks up the other 5%, so I have hardly any free time to just calm down, and usually when I do have free time, my mom is stomping around in a pissed off mood which then sets off my anxiety and i end up with a minor anxiety attack over it. My mom also has taken to self diagnosing herself. I keep telling her she needs to get diagnosed by a professional and she keeps saying she will, but she never does. First she thought all her symptoms were from whiplash, then it was PTSD, and now it's bipolar/manic depression. I just don't know what to do. I feel so bad for my grandpa. He doesn't deserve to have her yelling at him all the time. And I also feel really bad for my mom, because of all these issues she has. I just wish there was something I could do to help someone. I just feel so useless.