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i've been having this thing where my eating disorder and adhd kind of combine forces: i'll take 10mg ritalin LA (+150mg bupropion) in the morning, not feel hungry all day, then when it wears off and i get hungry again i overeat, feel guilty, and struggle not to vom. tbh even if it's a normal amount of food i'll feel bloated and want to vom. sometimes i'll try to get myself to eat while the medication's still in effect by smoking weed, but i end up b/ping almost 100% of the time. i'm seeing my psychiatrist soon so i'll discuss this with them, but i'm curious if anyone else has had these experiences.

I don't know why but after not really struggling with binging and purging for several years (9) I seem to be picking it up again. I told my psychiatrist and he recommended a place that has services for people with eating disorders but I feel like they'd not believe me that I have a problem because I'm overweight or they would judge. I'm scared my teeth will be ruined because it's hard not to whenever I binge. Seems like I almost-impulsively plan to binge hours in advance.

I know the title sounds a little silly but let me explain (buckle up this is going to be a long one) As a person that has struggled with heavy eating disorder tendencies for over 6 years now, you would think that I would have this all figured out by now... But that just isn't the case. It kinda just crept up on me when I was 10 and it never went away. I can't exactly pin how it started or why (otherwise it would be easier to treat it. Go figure) however, I never actively thought, "I want to skip meals and be thin". It just became a habit, one that I just can't break despite my best efforts. Its not that I don't want people to know because I dont want them to stop me, its mostly because I'm ashamed that my life has come to this. I am a very happy person that is friends with everyone and just wants the best for people. I just don't want this to change the way they see me. Such a strong and nice person being controlled by some thing so awful. Besides, there is a lot going on in my home life anyway and I dont want to add this on top of it all. I know a lot of people say that "biology eventually rules out" and "you're setting yourself up for a binge the more you don't eat" I wish it were like that for me. I don't even have to think about it and I end up not eating for at least 3 days to sometimes a week at a time. And the few times that I do eat I just end up throwing it up anyway. Everything just feels so dull and repetitive that I don't even notice. I actively try to eat. But I keep falling back into the same behavior I don't want to die but I don't want to keep living this way. What should I do?

Hey I am new. Long-time eating disorder sufferer. Started with anorexia and morphed into bulimia, then went to drugs, then went back to EDs, then went orthorexic/exercise bulimic. Went to treatment for the second time a couple years ago and have a treatment team. Noticed that once I started working hard on my ED, I was spending like crazy. Also was on Rexulti at that time. Spending comes and goes but gets bad when my eating gets better. Drives me nuts! Brain needs the rush. Feel like I can't escape. I hate spending, but drugs and bulimia seem worse? Anyone else struggle with this?

What medications have you found that have worked for binge eating disorder or bulimia? Topamax kinda helps, but I hate the side effects (depression, hair loss, slowed thinking, tiredness, etc....) and was wondering if anybody else had success with any other medications. Or if you've found ways to deal with the cognitive side effects of topamax? Thank you.

Hi y'all.... I am 39 and exhausted ? When will this hell end? That moment when you're in the grocery store and you find yourself going down the snack cake isle .... heart starts to race ,you even start to get panicky and hot all over almost break into a sweat hoping that the strong hold of food addiction and the need to purge surpasses. ..... but it doesn't ? That bastard wins again! Next you find yourself in the parking lot looking around hoping that no one is around to witness what's about to happen..... I WANT TO FREE ! I WANT TO LIVE LIFE NORMALLY ! WHYYYYYYY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? TO YOU?

So it's the 6 week holidays and I was having a pretty good time spending it with my girlfriend and loved ones. However it's currently 1:15am and I have just purged after weighing myself. I look in the mirror and all I see is a fat, ugly, slut! I hate her and I don't even know who she is anymore. Every night I have had alone when there's nobody with me I fall back into purging and not eating. I hate my weight. I used to be so thin but this recovery has made me fatter than ever and I just want to punch the walls and scream! I just need people to rant to who understand. I just want to be more open with Bulimia and talk to people who feel the same - I feel like ranting is a good option right now.

I've had bulimia for15 years, with small periods of treatment and recovery. I'm really struggling right now- I cannot stop myself from bingeing/purging. I have eaten away most of my money and I feel like crap most of the time. I have decided that today will be a binge-free day and I really want and need to be successful at this. I feel like if I can have one good day under my belt I can improve my chances of keeping it up. What helps you keep from bingeing? Looking for some support and/or advice, maybe even just some words of encouragement... Thank you, Van

I had to abruptly end Intensive Outpatient (previously in partial hospitalization) 3 months ago. I was doing alright (never underweight, but lost very fast which put strain on my heart), but now ANA is back. I had an incident this weekend that I purged out of nowhere. Dr. wanted me to contact him if my weight fell to a certain point, it went under and after the incident I called yesterday. He called me back and told me I need to seek treatment right away and I could die. I am not underweight, but I am restricting. Right now I know this is a problem, but I don't see that it is that serious. I have no intention of losing more, but I can't get myself to eat more/exercise less. Many say that I am in denial. I don't see how I could die if I'm not underweight.

I finally got the courage to talk to a Doctor about my bulimia today and feel like he was completely dismissive of it. I was in to discuss something else (pain meds) and he asked if my general health was okay, I told him I had been really worried about my health due to being sick most of my life (14 years), he asked if it was recurrent sickness but when I said that I had been doing it myself he said that the pain makes things feel worse and I would feel a lot better about it after I've managed to get some sleep. I am on pain relief for a minor operation I had last week - I hardly think that when I've recovered from that half a lifetime of being sick will feel less serious to me, I have been worrying a lot since before Christmas as I finally made myself face up to the long term problems and have wanted to have a health check since then. I have improved a lot over the last few months but still relapse sometimes. I had a friend at work with the same problem and we were going to help each other but it just made me relapse due to her being older and skinnier than me (she also binge exercises about 2 hours a day). I feel really humiliated that I dont feel I was taken seriously after finally getting the courage to speak up so I dont really see where else there is to go from this.

I'm a person who has used Naltrexone as per the Sinclair Method (1 x 50mg 1 hour before drinking alcohol) to beat my destructive drinking and save my life. Now I no longer drink alcoholically the old binge, comfort eating and bulimia has come to the fore. I've always had a tendency to over eat but I can be so controlled at other times. I'm also an athlete but do have a proper nutrition plan which I do stick to however when I let loose I really let loose. This is affecting my confidence, my work and my sport. I am really fed up and want to change. Since I already have a Naltrexone prescription and support from my GP (I'm UK based) I'd like to explore using it to help with these issues. I've also had approximately 60 hours of therapy with a PCC/TA private counsellor, which I'm currently doing as part of a group although I've booked myself a 1-2-1 this week so I can bring this issue to the fore instead of thinking I can deal with it and it'll go away. If anyone can help me with how to use Naltrexone as part of this I'd appreciate it. I'm not on any other meds although I was prescribed Prozac about 15 years ago. If anyone would like to know what the Sinclair Method is here's a link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinclair_Method it works on directly breaking the link between alcohol and endorphins, for me this means I no longer have any cravings for alcohol whether I take Naltrexone or not. I only have to take the Naltrexone when I drink in order to maintain this, and I drink like a 'normal' person - ie can get drunk if I want, or decide one glass is enough. Alcohol just doesn't bother me on the days I don't drink or take the med.

I'm just wondering if anyone has tried naltrexone for bulimia or binge eating disorder? I'm pretty sure treatment of eating disorders is an "off label" use, but I've heard of it being prescribed for this purpose. I'm considering talking to my psychiatrist about it as I feel like I have a really strong physiological addiction to binging and purging at this point that I am hoping might be helped by this medication... Has anyone tried naltrexone for this purpose? If so, did it help? What was your experience? Thanks!

My name is Lux, and I am a 23-year-old force of nature. I make money as a bike messenger and freelance reporter. In my spare time, I like to write fiction, dabble in photography, and watch quality films. I have been in psychiatric treatment since I was 14. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, anorexia, bulimia, alcohol addiction (recovered), and a dissociative disorder. I have been on nearly every psychotropic drug there is (quite literally). I have been in mental hospitals and eating disorders hospitals about six or seven times. I currently just got out of a six-week stay at an eating disorders facility. This time, I am truly very motivated to get better and working hard at it, although it is a struggle. http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php?/gallery/image/6533-there-goes-my-soul-again/ http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php?/gallery/image/6535-image/ http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php?/gallery/image/6534-dolled-up/

I've been in recovery for anorexia/bulimia for a month now. I didn't have some glamorous story, I didn't almost die, nothing like that. I was just a teenager who got caught. I was doing really well recovering, until I found the scale again... I've lost three pounds in a week. The worst part is, everyone thinks I'm still recovering. I have to see my nutritional therapist this week and she will weigh me.. This stuff is scary. I also have lots of OCD tendencies. Can I hear other people stories? My height is 5'8 I was at 100. Then I got up to 108 and now I'm back down to 105. Have an awesome day, hope everyone is well

Hey everyone. I am a diagnosed bulimic and I have major issues with binge eating. For my 5'4" frame, being over 160 lbs is torture due to my anorexic past of being underweight. Anyways, I realized I couldn't live like this anymore and just started doing the day intensive treatment program at the Renfrew Center in the US. Has anyone been to an ED treatment center? Did it help? I'm having issues sticking to my meal plan and not binging horribly at night, mainly due to my fear of going to bed on an empty stomach and insomnia-like tendencies. Anyways I started mid-week last week and would like any input from you all!

Hi everyone, My name is Jaclyn. I've been lurking on these boards for a while and finally decided to join. I'm 19 and a student (or at least attempting to be). I've been struggling with MI for quite a long time. I'm diagnosed with major depression and am tempted to say that it has been present for my entire life. I remember being like 4 or 5 years old and just wanting to die ALL THE TIME. When I was 11, a few traumatic events occurred in my life which set off a very bad case of OCD and anorexia nervosa. I was totally impaired by the OCD (washing my hands hundreds and hundreds of times a day, unable to go outside, fear of touching anything, fear of the air (pollutants),...basically just afraid of EVERYTHING) which eventually brought me to a state of desperation culminating in a suicide attempt at 15. I survived but continued to struggle with many of the same issues. When I was 17, the anorexia converted into bulimia nervosa (probably as a result of nutritional deficiencies, but who knows?), and I have been dealing with that over the last two years. In May I kind of hit rock bottom with the bulimia (basically doing nothing but binging and purging ALL DAY LONG and unable to think, study, or work), and I ended up spending some time in a psychiatric hospital and then in an eating disorder treatment facility, which helped some. Right now I'm just kind of at a frustrating place where I feel like I am doing everything that I'm "supposed" to be doing (weekly therapy, appointments with a nutritionist, meditation, yoga, pursuing my goals by attending university [i dream of becoming a doctor], going to and ED support group, taking my stupid meds), but I am STILL STRUGGLING SO MUCH. Even with all this support I am still binging and purging at least two times per day, cutting, and frequently suicidal. I guess it just makes me feel like a waste of all this treatment and support. Like there is no hope for me to ever be happy or at least productive and functional. Anyway, I'm glad to be here and hope I can offer support to others. Current diagnoses: bulimia nervosa, major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, social phobia, borderline personality disorder (only symptom is self-injury) Past diagnoses: Anorexia nervosa If you struggle with any of these issues feel free to message me. Or if you don't but just need some support feel free to message me as well. Stay strong <3

I have bulimia which I can reasonably control, some general anxiety - also not too bad but I've had trichotillomania for several years & now it's really bad. I've tried two SSRIs Zoloft & Lexapro 50mg & 10mg but the nausea side effects of both were so bad that I couldn't keep taking them as they were causing a serious bulumia relapse. I am seeing the doctor soon & the two main side effects I cannot deal with are nausea & weight gain. Is it worth trying any of the a-typical anti-psychotics as the seem to all cause weight gain? I've tried Seroquel 25mg and it just made me insanely hungry but not sure if the dosage needed to be higher. Am considering an MAOI like Mannerix but people seem to say meds for tics and tourettes work well also - any advice at all would be so helpful. Finally I live in Ireland so some drugs you guys have aren't available here & my doctor needs me to educate her - most doctors here really don't know much about trich.

Hey there. I'm a 22 year old female borderline (as I suspect) and social phobic. I've been treated for bulimia, substance abuse, and bipolar (I'm a college psych major and I've done a lot of research trying to figure myself out, but my psychiatrist did not listen to me when I tried to tell her my mood swings were too quick for bipolar). I started having binge eating issues when I was about 12, which progressed to more emotional issues, bulimia, alcohol and drug use... it's not a fun life. I left my last psychiatrist because (like I said before) she would not listen to me and seemed extremely apathetic and irritated with me all the time (I don't really blame her, I feel the same). It seemed silly to keep spending so much money to get help from someone like that. I still live with my mom, who can't stand me because I'm so moody. But I can't afford to move out because I spend too much on booze and drugs... I've had the same job for 4 years, and a really cool dog who's my best friend. Those are about the only things I have going for me. I have no friends outside of the people I talk to at work and at class, a few ex boyfriends I occasionally hookup with, and the people who I buy drugs from (some of those people overlap). I escape in music and drugs. I've been known to self-injure or threaten suicide when things get really bad. I guess that's all. I'm not really a bad person, I'm just looking for some support and advice. I don't know where else to go.