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I know it's not a competition in any way, with illness. But had a surprise when a friend messaged me to ask how I was doing. I replied &thanked her, said it was really nice to hear from her (particularly because I've been lonely, isolating myself, depression, etc). She literally responded with "Well, I got cancer so I'm sure it's worse than you..." That's all she wrote, no elaboration. What would you make of this reply? I'm empathic, and assume she's hurting or afraid. (btw I don't know if she still has it, or successfully treated already) I literally had no idea what was going on and I gave her support, told her I'm here for her for anything if she wants to talk, but in a way, I feel hurt, because of the way people with illnesses always "one up" and diminish each other, like experiencing one type of illness, trauma or pain is much worse than another?

Hi all, I haven't posted here in nearly a year I guess. Not because I've had some miracle recovery from depression but mainly because I have been managing to survive day to day with a bit of help. I'm on no meds apart from 1 or 2mg per week of lorazepam for panic attacks or sleep. I cut right back from 3mg per day over the last year. Now it is more PRN. But the last month my mood has gone super low again. I have been looking for a part time job but I realise due to my mental state and physical health I have so many limitations it is almost impossible. My care worker has tried to bring forward my Pdoc appointment, it has been over a year since I saw a doctor. I don't see how they pdoc can help as I have tried so many medications over the years. I also have physical issues going on for years - chronic pain - I had surgery to fix my knee last year which helped a bit but not as good as I had hoped for. I still have pain.. I'm waiting to see a rhematologist now to see if there is something inflammatory going on. Yes so I feel super low and suicidal again. Plus this week now my mom, the only person I have any real connection with, is waiting on test results to see if she has cancer. This has totally freaked me out. If she has cancer and dies then there is basically nothing left for me at all. I feel useless. I have failed at study. failed at working. failed at making friends and failed at having a life. my life is 24/7 internet or computer. pathetic.