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Found 13 results

  1. For too long, I was doing horribly. Multiple hospitalizations, mostly for PTSD and bipolar depression. Well a few weeks ago I started therapy with a great therapist that accepts medicaid. Her office has a giant window that looks over Lake Michigan and that almost makes me happier than the therapy itself. Well anyways, we've been doing standard talk therapy and CBT and the more I talk, the more my issues seem less important. The arguments with family, the anger at my landlord, etc. They just seem less important and don't bother me anymore.I haven't been to a therapist in a year and a half because I thought it was pointless and didn't help but I guess I never found the right therapist (with an awesome view while pouring my guts out.) I also switched from geodon to seroquel 150mg so that is helping too. I am able to drink coffee again without panic and anxiety. I am gaining more interest in things like video games, reaading, coloring. Whereas before I couldn't even shower or brush my teeth. I just stared into space for hours. I really hope this lasts. I've never felt so normal in awhile. I've stayed at depression centers for weeks and months, ptsd trauma center for over a month. Nothing did it. Maybe this is just a fluke and eventually it will peeter out, but I'm hoping for the best. Wish me luck!
  2. Perceiving value in your life is not a thought form of perception (awareness) at all. Rather, it is an emotional awareness. In other words, our emotions do not have some sort of mind control effect on us where they force us to perceive, through our thinking, our lives being good or bad to us. It is purely the emotions themselves that allow us to see values in our lives. Emotions are actually a sense like sight. They allow us to see the values that things and situations hold in our lives. It is only our positive emotions that allow us to see the positive qualities of life (i.e. the good values) while it is only our negative emotions that allow us to see the negative qualities of life (i.e. the bad values). Having neither positive nor negative emotions would be no different than a blind person. No value judgment can allow this blind person to see just as how no value judgment or mindset can allow us to see the values in our lives.
  3. Hi there, I'm new on Crazyboards but have benefited as a visitor from many a post. I have a rather unusual request/question. I have sleep anxiety like nobody's business. What I mean by this is that I worry/obsess that I won't get enough sleep AND if I wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep I get out-of-control anxiety and then, of course, can't fall back to sleep. I sweat, get heart palpitations, GI issues, you name it. And the horrible thing is, these symptoms go into the next day and then usually continue into the next night. The thing is, before all this happened I was always a naturally great sleeper. I could sleep anytime and I loved my sleep. This all started years ago when my first child was born. I went on Paxil and it worked great except for bad side effects. I have since gone off Paxil and had quite a few "sleep anxiety-free years" (always had GAD though). But this has started to rear its ugly head again, off and on for the past couple years. I have started Trintellix and have worked up to 10mg. I have also taken .5mg Klonopin for years. When I started the Trintellix my pdoc bumped me up to 1mg Klonopin but it's not working (!) and this COMPLETELY freaks me out. I have basically been going to sleep at 11:00, waking up at 3:00, and MIGHT get an additional fitful hour in there by about 5 or 6. I have started CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). I'm doing it on my own for now, using a workbook called The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund Bourne. I understand basically that I need to change my thinking about this problem if I am to make any progress. But this is extremely hard for me to imagine doing. What I am asking for is for feedback from people who have gotten only 4 or so hours of sleep a night for a period of time AND IT HASN'T RUINED THEIR LIFE. I need to be able to tell myself that this isn't the end of the world to only get 4 hours of sleep for a while (and this will be indefinitely until, hopefully, the CBT starts helping). I'm not working on an insomnia plan because I don't have sleep problems per se; I have major, unbearable ANXIETY problems that make it impossible to sleep. You might be wondering why I started the Trintellix: it is for the sleep anxiety but also for pretty intense GAD. However, I am really, really hopeful that I can manage this with CBT after some time. I may need to stay on the Trintellix, but the sleep anxiety is so horrible (it continues all the next day) that I feel I need to at least try something besides meds. I thank you immensely for your reassurances
  4. Most people who experience panic attacks only have a few per day or a few every other day. This is because panic is caused by a perceived threat (either real or irrational) which means that these people only perceive a threat every once in a while and they have control over their panic overall. However, there are very severe cases like me in which the perceived threat is constant which causes constant recurring panic attacks. These people like me have no control over this horrifying experience no matter what they tell themselves and no matter what relaxation techniques they use. People like me are unable to calm down. I have a strong phobia which is a fear of me speeding. Therefore, since the Earth is constantly speeding, that is then a constant perceived threat that caused me continuous uncontrollable panic that just might have lead me into being shot up in a hospital. I felt that I might never get it under control and that I would be doomed to be in this near constant state of panic everyday for my entire life which made the panic that much worse. My experience was that I had a panic attack which lasted for 15-20 seconds. After which, I then had 15-20 seconds of relief and then another panic attack immediately afterwards. This process continued on and I thought it might never stop. But fortunately, I now have severe chronic anhedonia (emotional numbness) which has numbed my fear. However, it has also numbed my ability to experience any good feelings whatsoever and I now no longer have any ability to experience pleasure. Usually people who have phobias (such as a spider phobia) go through exposure therapy in having a spider walk on his/her arm. This person would then panic at first, but the panic would then subside and the person would now be virtually cured of his/her phobia. This is unlike me since I could not calm down no matter what and my panic was constantly recurring. I wish to know if there are others who have also perceived a constant threat that was a part of their everyday lives that caused them continuous uncontrollable recurring panic attacks and that if these people ever managed to get something like this under control somehow.
  5. Around 8 months ago, my psychiatrist decided that I might benefit from CBT for my SZA and AsPD. I'd had a worsening of symptoms around four years previous that earlier pdoc's had attempted to treat with meds, but had met with limited success. Anyway, finally got with the new pdoc who was the first to suggest therapy and on to the waiting list I went. Fast forward to last Friday and I receive a text message from an NHS therapist saying they will call me today for a review and find out how they can best help. "The wait is finally coming to an end" I thought. Let's see what they have to say. 30 minutes ago, I receive a phone call from the therapist who had sent the text. She asks me a few questions about medication (which I thought would have been forwarded by my pdoc) and then finally about my diagnosis... Which is where things got a bit silly. Turns out that the NHS team I was referred to do not offer CBT for psychotic illnessess. She felt she might have been able to help with the AsPD, but as I was also diagnosed with SZA she would not be able to see me. She did tell me that new legislation is coming in for second-line patients where specific therapists are hired for individual treament, but wasn't sure when that was happening. Eight. Fucking. Months. I have a pretty hard time trusting MI professionals at my best, but after this massive balls-up I know everybody is going to be accusing everyone else of being in the wrong. It's the most basic piece of information to be passed on to someone, how can it have been forgotten/ignored? The trust goes out the window and I am back to square one. I phoned my case worker as my pdoc is away on holiday at the moment. I put the question to him and asked him to find out what had happened. He's as much use as an inflatable dartboard though, so I'm not holding my breath for answers. And now I'm left in Limbo. Symptoms are still there, medication not really working but I've been managing to get by. Next pdoc appt is not until next Wednesday, so looks like I'll be waiting until then to find out what the next step is. Once again the NHS is showing it's absolute disregard for MI patients. I just wish I had been surprised when everything went to shit again.
  6. Do you resist it and do you know why? Or, why don't you resist it? I resist it, but I'm not really sure I know why. Am I just being a jerk? I don't resist meds at all and get a lot out of my individual and group therapy. My tdoc is very into CBT and after just a few sessions of getting to know me, he dove right into the work of it. I resisted right from the start, but kinda got into it, did the work for a while but mostly because I knew I needed help of any kind. I researched it online and thought a lot about my resistance. He seems to have just given up after I said that I didn't really see the model as complete or covering everything or even making much sense to me. Now we focus on what I've been thinking and writing and doing or having a hard time with. But, our sessions do get off track sometimes. Sometimes it feels trivial. We laugh a lot (which I think is great!). Yet, I wonder if we need some more structure...? But, hell No, not CBT (or DBT, AIG, STH, or any other damned thing)! You?
  7. Does anyone have any experience with the dbt or cbt? Does it help? Can it be a realistic alternative to meds?
  8. Just wondering has anyone been in a CBT group, aimed specifically for people with Bipolar. I was referred to the group by a community psych nurse who knows me well. There will be 8 people in the group and it will last 6 weeks. The therapist is a psych nurse and also qualified as a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist. Not too sure how the Group CBT will work and a bit anxious about it * Mods :Not too sure if this should be in the therapy section or the bipolar section, so feel free to move it to appropriate place
  9. Has anyone been able to go beyond the periodic med management and receive such services as cognitive behavioral therapy while on Medicare?
  10. Background info that may help frame why I have certain questions: I don't have an official BPD Dx and p/tdoc isn't wild about applying labels to anything. On paper, I still essentially have no Dx (not even the recurrent depression and anxiety I have meds for) even though I've been seeking professional help for nearly 8 years. And all 4 d&tdocs I have worked with for decent amounts of time have deliberately avoided putting formal Dx's in my files. I didn't ask for that, they just all went in that direction. Its not because they think nothing is wrong with me. They all say/said that professional help is appropriate. Its been made clear to me that I should not worry about them thinking I'm a hypochondriac or drug-seeker or anything. I understand the insurance crap reasons for minimizing Dx's on paper. Its just that in actual practice, its not always clear to me how to proceed with choosing and implementing recovery tools, particularly behavioral therapies. I've explicitly asked many times, including just this morning. General helpful directional avenues have been identified, but its the specific parameters of an explicit course of action that elude me. I don't expect step-by-step instructions or anything but I need *some* explicit parameters in order to objectively assess progress (or lack thereof). I am not sure of how specific a course of action is optimum. I asked today and basically got told that what I'm doing with workbooks by myself seems to be helpful. No recommendation of joining DBT groups or seeing a supplementary tdoc specifically for "programmed" therapies he doesn't do himself. I asked again because I was unsure then left still feeling not confident that I am doing the best things possible! That said..... 1. How important is it to fully and (relatively) exclusively buy into one mode (school of thought?) of therapy? I ask because I think that belief buy-in, even if temporary and conditional, can help quiet the cacophony of distracting "what if's". 2. How do you recognize what that optimal fit may be in the absence of a clear professional opinion? I am not seeking "perfect" fit, just the most optimal of currently available resources. Besides the obvious "know thyself', what else have you prioritized as decision making criteria for yourselves? 3. How important is professional guidance and structure to doing things like DBT, CBT, etc as well as possible? 4. Similarly, how rapidly did any of you with professional guidance progress (effectively) through workbooks compared to self-guided efforts? 5. Am I asking the right questions? What else should I be considering or made aware of? Am I asking too many questions and should just focus on doing what I have already started with workbooks?
  11. Over in the Mystifying Narratives and Trends thread, the OP decided to make it super-combative and angry and cranky and whatever while also bitching about CBT. That's not my deal here. My deal is, plain and simple: CBT is billed as the evidence-based therapy. (I'm not even going to attempt to qualify that, just read this page about evidence on the National Association of Cognitive Behavioral Therapists website that effectively claims CBT is the ONLY evidence-based therapy, if you don't believe me.) Not only that, but it's supposed to work! Fast! Work fast to cure your MI! This isn't just hearsay, either: In fact, let's look at a website run by respected physicians, such as, oh, The Royal College of Psychiatrists, where it's claimed that "A course may be from 6 weeks to 6 months. It will depend on the type of problem and how it is working for you." (it's way down the page there) People advocating CBT for OCD on OCDRecoveryCenters.com (along with Exposure Response Prevention) say "When administered on a weekly basis, CBT may take 2 months or more to show its full effects. Intensive CBT, which involves 2 - 3 hours of therapist-assisted E/RP daily for 3 weeks, is the fastest treatment available for OCD." Even Behavioral Associates, a therapy group based in NYC making the least "aggressive" claims I've found, with no date stamp, say "CBT is a shorter-term therapy because it deals with the present and works aggressively to treat unwanted behaviors." Yeah. Okay. The relevant bits of my post, as quoted from that other thread I mentioned at the beginning: "I personally feel like CBT was more of a band-aid for me. I don't think it's the end of my therapeutic journey, but it was a great beginning, and I'll continue to apply the techniques I learned." Then, in a different topic titled "Worrying All The Time", I went on to say: CBT did not really help with my anxiety at first, just so you know. I went through CBT-type therapy for four years [emphasis not in original post], and for the first two years, I was breaking down so often that I couldn't manage to apply CBT to anything, and then for the next few years, it felt like CBT was all about how I "should" be acting in any given situation and it made me really pissed off, actually, because: a) not only was my anxiety telling me I was doing everything wrong, but b) then the CBT training would kick in and say "okay, now manage it this way and this way" and I couldn't do it on any sort of regular basis, which made me feel like even more of a failure. Meds helped me pull out of that spiral, and then having other types of therapy to apply (ACT, some DBT stuff, the type of therapy I'm doing now) was also extremely helpful. ---- I really feel like if CBT weren't touted as this panacea, and generally SEEN THAT WAY, even by experienced mental health practitioners, I would've been encouraged and offered different types of therapy in an attempt to find a therapy that actually worked instead of trying to force myself into a mold that did not fit me at all. When I try to think about it charitably, I acknowledge that I have major mental health issues, and CBT is maybe for people who've experienced a couple episodes of depression, or who have recently had anxiety take over their life. Not for someone who's been like this for the best part of forever. Mostly I cannot think about it charitably because I feel like trying to apply CBT to my own thought processes has forcibly pushed me away from accepting myself (not to mention finding techniques that actually work for me) and instead encouraged me for years to try to "reprogram" how I think in hopes that that would make some difference in my mood, which... yes, it has a bit. I'm not going to deny that. However, I would venture to say that 4+ years of therapy, no MATTER the modality, would make SOME impact on a person with depression and anxiety, however, and that CBT was, on the whole, more harmful to me (because I took it to be a requirement that what I felt and thought was "bad" and "wrong") than it was helpful. Yes, I still agree it was a great beginning, because CBT displayed that there are tools to treat this kind of thing. But if I could've done CBT for a few months and then moved onto ACT or DBT or IPT or IFS, I think I would've gotten further on my road to recovery much more quickly. Interestingly, Cerberus posted (on that other thread, again) that "Also, some people are more cognitively predisposed to success with CBT because of the way they approach introspection, logical analysis, objectification of emotional states, and systemization of thought patterns." I think this statement has a lot of truth to it. I would, however, caution against someone reading that and assuming "oh, cbt will work for me because I'm totally an introspective, rational, analytical person!" Because, truthfully? So am I! (mostly, I'll admit the 'rational' bit is arguable ) I've kept an online journal since I was 12; I analyze everything, etc etc. I always have. But CBT didn't work for me because it fed into my existing thought patterns of "how I act, how I behave, the things I do are wrong wrong wrong" and added to that "how I think is also wrong wrong wrong, it's making me worse and I'm such a horrible person I can't even do what I'm supposed to do to fix it. " I feel pretty confident in saying that obviously, Cerberus did not intend to insult me personally with that statement, rather he was attempting to point out why CBT does work for many people. BUT, again, the flaw I see in this idea is that having these qualities do not make the success of CBT more likely going in: in other words, if what he said is the truth, it's still not a predictive statement, it's really a statement that can only be made in hindsight/retrospectively. --- So, CB denizens, what are your thoughts about CBT?
  12. More specifically, I got told there was nothing they could do for me ever. So, today I had the second session of a two-part assessment with the psychology department in my CMHT. What was meant to happen - so I was told - was that they would assess me, then they would collate the information from this assessment with the info from my assessment with the eating disorder team, and then the team at the CMHT would offer me therapy. I made this vow before I started these assessments that this time I was going to make it work. Because I can't keep dropping out of therapy over and over again, or else I'm never going to get better. By doing it I was just indulging in typical borderline behaviour. So I'm promised myself that I would stick with it this time. Except that now there's nothing to stick with. I would type up everything that happened this session, but I can't because I keep getting all emotional and wordless... and anyway it would make this post too long. Basically, amidst this woman insulting and belittling me, she informed me that there was absolutely nothing the CMHT could offer me. No talk therapy, no CBT, no nothing. I was told quite clrealy in no uncertain terms that they couldn't do anything at all for me ever. According to this woman, there is not therapy available from the CMHT at all for me. She also informed me that the eating disorder unit will not be offering me therapy either because I'm not that ill and don't need it as much as other people. Inpatient treatment is out, intensive day treatment is out. Those are both done through the CMHT. Apparently in the entirety of South England there is only one option available to me, which is at least 18 months of day therapy, mostly group therapy, which requires me coming off some of my meds, and would mean that I would have to drop out of uni altogether. I just feel kind of broken right now. I had promised myself that I would make it work, but now there isn't anything to make work. I don't know what to do...
  13. Hey everyone. I've been diagnosed with Bipolar I. I also have ADD and slight anxiety. I was fired from my 5 1/2 year job in Dec. First time ever in my 44 years of life being fired. In July I was fired from my new job. Collecting unemployment both times... so I am at a crossroads in my life. After being fired twice from a field I have 14 years experience in, but don't really enjoy anyway, I am wondering what career I'll pursue from here. In 2009 I began getting mental health help and was diagnosed. Following that I found myself in an abusive relationship. Shortly after that I was put into IOP (Intensive Outpatient). Also diagnosed as Codependant (or however you spell it). During that time I learned alot with CBT, group settings, and twice a week visits to monitor my meds. By summer 2010 I was on track. Since I've lost my job, I lost my insurance. No meds..... from bad to worse. I've found a place that charges based on a sliding scale according to what you earn. I just want my meds back. Now I have to go to group twice a month, see a therapist twice a month, and meet a new phsych. Who knows what meds they will give me. Anyway... They have put me in DBT groups. Not so sure I like it. I'm not BPD... these people I'm in group with are much sicker than I am.... Well, as of right now, that's where I am in my journey. Not sure how crazy I am, but I'm sure society thinks I'm a fruit loop. I do and have felt broken most of my life. Like a toy firetruck who's siren sounds like a dog barking instead of a siren.... Wondering if I can ever lead a "normal" life even with my manufacturer's defect. Miss317
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