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Showing results for tags 'child abuse'.
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Hi All- I endured neglect / abuse from my biological mother from the ages of 0-4...so yeah, I have issues. One of my biggest is anxiety in relationships. I have an amazing boyfriend who I KNOW I can trust deep down. However, I still have anxiety, panic attacks and turn into a mess when he does something as simple as go out with friends. I know this is so irrational, and I have nothing to worry about (except my irrationality driving him away). I just want to be "normal" and say "bye, have a great time" and just hang out at home, get a hobby, etc. But I find myself sitting here paranoid and anxious as hell. And then I text. And then I ask when he'll be home. And then I ask who he's with ... if you've experienced it, you get it. I'm at a loss of what to do. I've been on a cocktail of meds in the past year and diagnosed with everything from bipolar to borderline, and finally I have a doctor that I think I can trust. He's told me anxiety with a bit of PTSD is my main problem, and has put me on Zoloft starting at 50mg. I'm looking for anyone who has attachment anxiety on here to let me know if Zoloft has helped at all? And if so, what has -- medication wise and therapy wise? THANK YOU
Long story short, I only recently realized what I experienced as a child was abuse. I have not been diagnosed with PTSD but have been told I am suffering from the trauma caused by this abuse. This realization, along with recent actions by this person, have caused me to relive this trauma, and I am broken. I've recently gotten some distance from my abuser, but not much. They happen to be a family member and the rest of my family doesn't want to cut them out. Which is their right, but makes it impossible to get away. Every time I hear this person's name, or any detail that makes me think of them, I get a panic attack and feel sick and I can't stop crying. I can't get this person out of my life. I live at home, have no job, no money, (at least not enough to get me somewhere else) and no options. I am trying to find a new tdoc, which is very difficult, but even if I found the right person tomorrow, there are years of therapy ahead. I don't know how to hold on in the meantime. It is only a matter of time before this person will re-enter my life in a much bigger way, and I have no control over that. I see no light, I am angry with the concept of hope, I just want to run. But I have nowhere to go, no friends either. It's just that this is killing me, I feel like I'm dying inside. I don't know what to do. I will see my pdoc this week, but I'm not optimistic. Thanks for reading. anemone
Hi all! First time posting and I'm new to the site. I have struggled for large stretches of my life with depression, anxiety, self-harm, trichotillomania (chronic hair pulling-out) etc. In the past couple years I've found an amazing therapist and gotten on Zoloft for depression and Buspar for anxiety. I have a wonderful Spouse, a great job (despite a rough boss,) and a stable home with adorable pets. Overall life is pretty good these days. I have around 10 alters. Some have come out of nowhere, some have splintered off from other alters over time. They all basically have jobs: protection, regression, self-soothing, order, fun, sex, etc. I have some lost time and amnesia but overall we're all pretty co-conscious these days, sharing experiences and memories. Mostly. I think I'm getting to a point in therapy where I am about to figure out some of the root cause of the DID. I know I was sexually assaulted by another kid (a bully/"friend") at least once when very young, but I don't think I was every assaulted by an adult when I was a child. But my parents moved me and my siblings around A LOT. Like 25 times before I was 16. All over the world. Hotels, relatives' homes, friend's apartments, etc. Could this lack of consistency, home country, and sense of "home" in general ...BE the root cause for my apparent DID? Could this continued and forced reinvention of identity be the cause of my DID? I don't have an official diagnosis yet due to going to a free clinic, because insurance reasons. But my therapist has said, "unofficially," that I do seem to have DID, and we talk about it all the time. Did any of you who have DID develop it without a "clear childhood trauma?"