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Found 11 results

  1. I know.. I am not the only one who has this fear, some people are afraid of trains , boats etc. I have not been on an airplane in over 15 years, shit prolly more. It's my Mom's 60th Birthday in August, and she wants to go somewhere, my dad took a week off and the only thing that was really stopping us from planning something was our sick dog, which sadly she has passed away 2 weeks ago. I think of being up there and not being able to get out etc and knowing I am up 35k+ feet. I don't know what other drugs I could take, It's already June, and I am already freaking out. Maybe I can convince them to rent an 80 ft RV haha. What would you do??
  2. For those of you who experience paranoia as well as panic, how do you cope? I had a bad attack yesterday where I felt something was behind me, and the only way I could feel somewhat safe was to put my back against the wall. This continued until my anxiety meds finally kicked in. I also called my on call facility to have someone to talk to. Anyway, does anyone have any other ideas on how to deal with something like this. It is freakin scary and I would love some answers. Thanks, Poem
  3. Putting ice down my shirt drawing where I want to cut Going straight to bandaging Snapping a rubber band against my skin Biting my lip Squeezing where my scars are Writing in morbid detail where and how I'd like to cut Imagining cutting myself Tracing scars in pen taking a cold shower I do all of these EVERY DAY, yet I still self harm close to 5 times a day. Please tell me your strategies
  4. Understanding someone with chronic pain (Link to a wiki page) I thought it was pretty spot on. Just passing it along.
  5. We have parts with parlor opposite personalities. We isolate so that we don't do anything that would be destructive to ourself or get us into trouble. How do you handle that and still have a life? I'm afraid I'll be out and one of my parts will end up seeking out abuse or contacting someone who almost killed us before. We know where he is and he'll always welcome the chance to abuse us again. Even staying inside we have to work so hard at not reaching out to those toxic kind of people. I admit that sometimes we fail and it happens, but because we're so afraid to leave the house, it's rare that we act on it. Some parts are feeling shame to admit this.
  6. HI, I'm Eddy. I have a long list of disorders, but my big hitter is Bipolar disorder. I have been married and it has come and gone, at least I was young. I have had one eating disorder or another throughout my life as well as self harm. I have doctors and therapists and counsellors, I am living on my own for the first time in my life at 30. (had roomates, parents, husband). I take 18 pills a day and wonder sometimes if I can even remember how it felt without them. As suggested, I am new, so please be gentle. I have a sense of humour, but not terribly ha-ha about my mental health.
  7. So, my therapist of about two years now was offered a job across the country, closer her to her family and boyfriend. Of course, I'm very happy for her and this great opportunity, but I'm really going to miss her. I've been bounced around about 4 different therapists now and I finally found a good fit with her. I'm also just starting school again, and I'm so scared to go back without her. Part of it is that I've gotten the farthest in therapy with her, part of it is just that I like her so much. I'm not coping well with this news and I've been crying on and off for the past couple of days. Really, I'm not too concerned about having to get a new therapist; she's recommended me to one of her coworkers that she believes will fit quite well with me and I trust her judgement. I've also done well with all my other therapists, too, I just like this one the most. Anyway, the point is I can tell I'm really emotionally attached to and dependant on my therapist and I'm scared. I think I'll be okay therapy wise, but I just really want to be able to keep talking to her. I mean, I know that's not possible because of the professional nature of the relationship, but it doesn't stop me from wishing I could even email her every once in a while and see how she is. It just really sucks because I know even my therapist doesn't really want to leave me and would take me with her if she could. She even said that in our last session and how she was going to miss me. My mom, her and I all cried and it was sappy and gross, and I'm really upset about her moving away. This might be kinda irrelevant, but I'm only 16 so it's really hard for me to detach myself from her. How can I cope with this? I keep thinking, "maybe I can just ask her if I can keep talking to her when she moves away," but I know that's not possible and I feel stupid for even thinking it. This just feels like a huge loss I just don't want to have at all, let alone now where I'm kinda in a delicate position with my mental health with school starting up again. What can I do?
  8. I wasn't 100% sure where to post this, but the man was treating me for my bipolar so it ended up here. I don't know how many people have had this experience, and I had honestly never considered it happening to me. My doc had put me on the "doing well" 6 month appointment list so I hadn't heard from him in a while. Two weeks ago I went in for my therapist appointment and learned he had been diagnosed with leukemia in March, just after I saw him, and had passed away in April. I was pretty inconsolable for while. He was the best psychiatrist I have ever had. He knew me and actually listened to my hormonal issues and was already ready to be flexible with my treatment. He was also just a cool guy. He was 83 (he looked 60 something) and I think I was his only patient under 40. Ever since finding out I feel kind of lost. I cried a lot the first day and still get pretty down. A part of me feels really stupid for being this upset, but his death is so unsettling. I'm also really anxious about having to find someone new. My therapist suggested someone and I will see him in July. I left my last psych because she couldn't tell me from any other of her patients without looking at her notes and was completely inflexible about my treatment plan. I worry I've been put back into the difficult search of finding a doc that clicks well with me. I guess I am just looking to process what happened and see if anyone else has been through this. I would love to hear how other people overcame an obstacle like this or even just thoughts on my situation. I am feeling very alone and a little scared.
  9. So here's the deal. I am totally sick of the way my OCD screws with my relationship. My partner (long-time boyfriend)'s 17-year-old daughter recently moved in with us, which is stress-tastic, but even before then this problem would crop up from time to time: someone interferes with my ability to satisfy my compulsions, and I just lose it. Anxiety, panic, anger, running away. It's never pretty and it hurts other peoples' feelings. I'm tired of bad interactions with people I love just because I happen to be crazy-pants. In terms of the Six Types, I'm mostly a cleaner and an orderer. The cleaning part is obvious, although there's also the fun twist of occassionally wanting to throw away everything I own. I only recently realized that my extreme extreme minimalism was a compulsion that I've been feeding for years. Whoops. The ordering mostly manifests itself in terms of scheduling. Like, I need for things to happen on time, when they have been planned for or scheduled, and I need to know when things are going to happen. I am also on medication and seeing a cognitive-behavioral therapist to reduce the symptoms as much as possible, but I would love to get input from people about how they deal with it when something interrupts the performance of the compulsion, and/or how they communicate productively with other people about it when the compulsion is coming on, to prevent the train wreck of OCD versus Normal People. Thoughts?
  10. Hi Everyone, Just thought I'd start this thread so we can share who has been great in our lives lately. Or who has not been so great for whatever reason. I thought we could share the good, the bad, or the ugly when it comes to the people in our lives or the people we stumble upon and either wish we didn't or thrilled we did. So: Who has been great in your life lately? Or, perhaps, not so great?
  11. I used to cut a lot when I was in my mid teens, I often end up in cycles of depression, suicidal thoughts but tbh they never last long so I've never seen a doctor. I stopped for a few years, my mum found out and I felt too guilty to continue. I told a few friends at the height of my SI, they were shocked, and then never mentioned it ever again, probably too weirder out to bring it up, the whole thing just made me trust them less and less. I guess at the time I wanted support but didn't get it. I'm a fresher at uni, with exams coming up. I've moved to a different country to attend a good university, but there's a lot of pressure here. I've started to cut a bit again, mostly where no one will see, a few scratches elsewhere. What I find strangest is that last term I had a very dark period, I was crying alone a lot, very homesick, and even though I'd never do it, images would just flash in my head of me jumping down flights off stairs. It passed though without any SI and I thought that maybe I was finally done with it. This term I don't even feel that depressed, and yet was totally overcome with the need to cut. I feel like I'm lying to my new friends though. I love them all so much, and they've confided in me a lot about their lives, and I'm overcome with guilt that they share their secrets, but I can't, the thought of it just sends me into tremors. I don't want them to be watching me like I'm some convict who needs to be stopped from doing bad things. I just need it to cope, I don't want them to try and stop me, but I don't think they'd understand that. I've already ruined friendships with people over this before, I just got so ashamed that they knew, that I dropped them from my life completely. I'm living with these girls though next year, and I'm not sure that its a secret I can keep. Does anyone else have experiences with this? Any kind of advice you can give me would be great.
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