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Found 20 results

  1. My girl Meg Myers. Or a llama. It's a toss up. ?‍♀️
  2. hi ya, lately i have these issues that i feel like i'm going crazy. like earlier today i parked my car in a parking lot and when i went back to get it i didn't remember where i've put it and i had this panic attack that i felt i was losing my mind. i got all sweaty , i couldn't breath and teared up because i just didn't remember if i even got there by car or not (i sometimes take my bike to the city or go by foot). also i've been experiencing a lot of anger lately, i'm angry at everyone for no reason and when people come around with stupid stories or excuses (like at work) i feel it boiling up like hot water. i've been having panic attacks since august this year, not much have changed in my life to be precisely all stayed the same. i feel like i have this anxiety or panic disorder that i carry with me everywhere it is so upsetting. i'm not much of a talker about my feelings and my closest relatives don't even know that i experience this (i don't think i need to tell anyone my feelings as why would they matter to another individual?) so never ever have opened up to anyone about anything. is there someone out there experiencing the same stuff?
  3. hi, I need some consultation on what I am dealing with. There appears to be this problem where I will see things in life that aren't there. For example, just the other day I noticed that my window is broken. This is impossible since my window is impenetrable. Moreover, I am seeing this illusion where my money inside my safe is no longer there. Funny right? I have tried taking meds to get rid of this optical illusion, but nothing seems to work. Other than optical illusions, I also can no longer see where my bed is and I often trip on my way into it when I go to sleep. Also, I keep missing my mouth when I go to insert food into my mouth. This has been happening ever since I took a break to watch the eclipse with my pet dog. Someone please help.
  4. Hi, i started on 25 mg of Seroquel on January 21. This was prescribed for OCD. After starting it I started getting even more anxiety than I had. On February 3 I had a full blown panic attack. To the point I couldn't walk or talk and thought I was dying on the spot. It lasted for two hours and then I fell asleep for two more. The following week was hell. Exhausted and even more anxious. I had another panic attack out of nowehere again on Feb 10. It wasn't quite as bad and didn't last as long, but again thought I was dying on the spot. After looking up the side effects and what Seroquel can cause, I'm convinced it is this medicine that has basically turned me into a crazy person. Anyone else experience this? I'm quitting this medicine immediately. I have a moderate case of OCD which is a result of Lyme disease. I don't think Seroquel is a medicine that will help me. I think it has just about killed me the past 3 weeks. Would love to know if anyone else has felt like you are going crazy on this med, or had panic attacks from it. Thanks!
  5. I get it I really do, im not normal and I really dont care to be. I cant remember a time in my life that pain wasint a form of medication I used to treat myself. Its been a nightmare when it comes to relationships and ive tried hard i really have. It seems that every time i get something good in my life its inevitable for it to be destroyed and i do mean destroyed. Ive been to doctors ive been in and out patient and everything remains the same. I cant lie to myself even though i lie to everyone eles when i say that im fine when im really not. I think about things that i cant share with anyone eles and i enjoy things that no one eles does and because of that i know they will only see the crazy side of me. I fear having friends because i know hat at some point i cant hold back who is really inside and they will run away just like everyone else has. Is it so bad to enjoy life in a way that others cant? i mean its lonley i know but when im being me im happy and I feel really good about myself but then i hate it because i know it cant stay. Why cant I just have friends who know my mind instead of treating me like a damn rubix cube.
  6. I'm new here! My name is Jen I'm 30/ yrs old just recently came out to my loved ones looking for friends who want to u defeat X my craziness ??❤️
  7. So, lately, I’ve been feeling really off. I feel disconnected from the world, I do things without thinking and I can’t concentrate. I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m only 13 so I know most people are going to say “its just puberty related”, but it doesn’t feel like it. I self-diagnosed myself with depression and anxiety about a year ago (by researching symptoms and comparing them to how I felt). I know depression and anxiety are common at my age so I don’t really worry that much about them, except when it gets really bad. I self harmed for a while then quit because I saw no point in hurting myself when it didn’t even help me, but lately I’ve started again. And I don’t really know the reason, but while I’m doing it, I know it makes me feel happy to see what I’ve done to myself even if after I know I’ll regret it. It started at the beginning of the school year. At first I was just really giddy and my thoughts were everywhere, my behavior confused me though. But I thought maybe it was just the excitement of seeing my friends again and the nervousness that this was my last year before high school, but the weirdness continued. A while later I began to have very violent thoughts-some towards myself, some towards others. That really terrified me. My brain started to feel really murky and I would always drift off into trances. I can barely concentrate on anything now, conversations are short and I’m very easily angered and offended. My hands are almost always cold and my whole body is often very shaky. I react to things the opposite of how I should most of the time, like for example, when I get yelled at I find it funny and I often laugh or smile. I’m always tired. At night it’s the worst. I always feel like there’s something watching me from the shadows, observing me and laughing at me. I have to distract myself from my thoughts to sleep, so I watch YouTube or read mostly, until I feel like I can sleep. But even then I find myself thinking strange things. When I wake up, I always feel like I didn’t get enough sleep even though I know I have. I always feel dizzy and sometimes it almost feels like I’m dreaming, but I know I’m not. I get these weird pains all over my body. I get headaches and I never really feel like doing necessary things (eating, getting up in the morning, going to school, etc.). In fact, my efforts in school have dropped drastically. I used to strive to get good marks and rush to get my homework done on time, but now I just don’t care. I haven’t really told anyone yet because I just don’t feel comfortable but I know I need help. I find myself having conversations with the air and myself without realizing what I’m doing. I just feel really, well, crazy. Now, most of this just sounds like depression, right? But I just don’t know. I feel like I’m going insane. I told myself to give it another week to talk to someone. I just don’t feel like myself. I feel like I’m in a different world most of the time. Even now, while I’m writing this, I feel like I’m drifting. Anyway, I’m just posting this in case anyone is going through the same thing and/or knows what’s happening.
  8. Hello to you fellow human who has seen my post and wanted to know about me. I have been struggling with Bipolar for about a year and surprise surprise,I have anorexia and bulimia too. I have been snapping at everyone,I'd punch myself and cut myself for no reason (or that what you think) and next thing you know all that anger disappears and I become this depressed freak of nature who doesn't care about anything and everything and only thinks about ways to kill myself. I am younger than most of you may think,but I have the mind of a 50 year old. Anyways I feel rather honored that you have finished my boring story and haven't died of boredom.
  9. crtclms

    pensive darwin

    From the album: Random Goodness

    © &crtclms

  10. Where do I start? My friend and I were recently talking about how we feel weird with our t shirts and posters of a particular celebrity, because we have this weird and disconcerting feeling that they can see us, hear us, is watching what we do and judging. Yes..... we are crazy. I've had this feeling pretty much my whole life, and thought I was alone, until my friend confided in me that she feels uncomfortable when wearing her t shirt. I Googled it, and was surprised to find loads of questions on Yahoo Answers from teenagers who felt like their posters were watching them. They even said they couldn't get changed in their own rooms because of their posters. What the hell is this? It's physically impossible, absurdly crazy, for a human being to see and hear through an image, a picture taken in one second, one moment, years and years ago. It seems to be worse if the celebrity is deceased - perhaps they're spying through the paper, cotton, plastic etc. from another dimension, giggling at our private moments. Is this OCD, paranoia, social phobia, what? Is this really more common than anyone realizes?
  11. Angeni Mai

    Bone head

    From the album: Unedited variety

    My uncle wearing his N.Am . Headpiece. Boneheaded man!
  12. Hi I live in Fl with 3 dogs, cats and a parrot . I also have a hubs and 25 yr old daughter here , too. Right now I'm in a crazy and burn cycle. I'm anxious, semi-panicked, depressed, angry, nervousness, irate, etc. My pdr diagnosed me with PTSS , ADD, OCD, bi-polar , depression and anxiety. I'm not going to argue. After being on celexa 10, adderall, ambien with an occasional xanex for years, I was put on a heart med that changed everything. I can no longer take any of the regual anti-depressants I've taken for yrs. Although they didn't help 100%, they did mostly kept the edge off and that was enough. I could function on a semi-adult level.. I thought I could handle being off the celexa but after 2 wks I wanted to die..I started with the irrational over the top fears and everything else that goes along with stopping something like that. Dr gave me a sample pack of Viibryd, the only thing i can take with Flecanaide the heart med. It sucks ..two days and I feel like I'm carrying a sack of cement on my head and the restless legs are awful. I have an awful taste in my mouth and my lips feel weird. Oh and can that stuff be any more expensive???? I know I need meds to function, and my family will attest to that..I'm a horror to be with without them..Mean, nasty, sarcastic. (but pretty funny) constant mood changes., etc Anyway..."hey all"
  13. Hey guys, just wanted to say hello to all you OCD'ers out there and thought I'd start a thread for OCPD. As msot of you know, OCPD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, which I was diagnosed with about 2 years ago. Essentially, it means that you don't have a compulsive trigger & response, (checking, counting, turning knobs certain ways, etc), but rather entails your entire life being something you want to manage and alter to a state of perfection in any way possible. I've attached an interesting description of OCPD that's from the OCD Foundation itself, which includes indications, possible triggers, and behavioral patterns found in people with the disorder. I personally had regular OCD when I was about 10 (obsessive hand-washing), but was able to get rid of that. I think that, while I was able to get over the hand-washing, the OCD just morphed into OCPD as time progressed, and just continued to get worse. Now, my medication cocktail keeps me pretty stable, but I'll occassionally have episodes that cause me to revert back into OCPD mode, and only realize I'm in that mindset after arguing with somebody over how something should be done, etc. It's kind of freaky, but I just thought I'd post the following in case any of you guys were interested. I used to fit this description all-too-perfectly, especially during my first two years of high-school, but after taking larger doses of SSRI's mixed with some longer half-life benzos, things are pretty much under control nowadays. Thanks for listening! Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) What is Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD)? OCPD is a type of “personality disorder” with these characteristics: Rigid adherence to rules and regulations An overwhelming need for order Unwillingness to yield or give responsibilities to others A sense of righteousness about the way things “should be done” ruled under OCPD demands can be very frustrating and upsetting, often leading to conflict. (Staff note: the balance of the article was deleted to protect CrazyBoards from being prosecuted for violating the copyright laws. Please click on the link below if you would like to read it in its entirety.) Author: Barbara Van Noppen, Ph.D., University of Southern California Copyright © 2010 International OCD Foundation (IOCDF), PO Box 961029, Boston, MA 02196, 617.973.5801 http://www.ocfoundation.org
  14. Hey everybody, I just thought I'd post an introduction with a little info about myself & why I decided to join the forum. Anyways, I'm an 18-24 y/o male who has struggled with mental health issues since I was about 12. At first, I primarily had anxiety issues, but I quickly developed a fairly severe case of depression at the age of about 13, as well. I started seeing psychologists when I was 10 years old, and eventually started seeing a Psychiatrist right after turning 14 because talk therapy wasn't helping me at all. I was put on 100mg of zoloft after a standard titration, and at first it seemed to help. However, my anxiety was still pronounced and difficult to deal with, especially during the first couple years of high school. In the summer between my sophomore and junior years of high school, I fell back into my depression worse than ever, and was riddled with anxiety over the smallest events / problems that came up. My appetite became essentially nonexistent, and I pretty much just stopped eating. To make a long story short, I went from weighing 125 pounds at 5 ft 11" during May to 75 pounds by November. During the period, I knew I was losing significant amounts of weight, but didn't feel inclined to do anything about it. Eating was difficult - not just psychologically, but also physically due to the lack of an appetite. I also have severe IBS which made eating just always seem like a risk (IE - "If I eat this sandwich my stomach is gonna kill me and I'm either gonna be constipated or sh*&ting piss for the next 12 hours. The depression was so severe that in many ways, I felt like death was inevitable and almost comforting. During October, when I was at my worst / lowest weight, I realized that I could very well die from anorexia. That realization wasn't a scary one, seeing as at that weight, your brain essentially stops working as it should. I was so numbed to the outside world that opinions of others meant nothing to me at all, and would kind of "float" around feeling as if I was ghost. Up until the end of October, I didn't experience any serious physical side effects due to my weight loss, but that all changed very quickly. Within about 10 days, I went from being able to run up the stairs 2 at a time to having to physically lift my legs with one hand from stair to stair while my other hand fraily held onto the banister to prevent falling. Essentially, my body started to eat through my muscle, primarily in my thighs. After a few days of this, horrific scenario, my parents admitted me to a state-run Psychiatric hospital, where I spent 33 days. I was placed in the adolescent eating disorder unit, where I did meet some fascinating individuals, but also was subjected to the horrors of being at an inpatient Psych hospital. From the day I was admitted, I knew my options were to either be fully compliant and get out quickly, or put up a fight just to get an NG-tube stuck through my nose and esophogos to fill my stomach with Ensure 24/7. It wasn't at all difficult for me to start eating again, which was kind of bizarre and shocking to everybody on staff, and I actually would BEG for them to give me more food during rounds every day. The problem was, because I had been eating so little beforehand, I developed refeeding syndrome almost immediately, and had to be monitored very closely for about 10 days. Refeeding syndrome is something that occurs after the body has adapted to very low daily intake of nutrition, and essentially causes your body to process larger amounts of food as poison. In turn, I had to keep my legs elevated above my chest at all times to prevent a heart attack. I can remember the Edema in my feet causing them to swell to about 2 times their normal size, which was kind of funny for me to see while in that fucked-up state of mind. My vitals were surprisingly stable for somebody in my condition, but my blood levels were pretty out of whack during that time, so I was under CONSTANT supervision to make sure I didn't die. Anyways, I demanded as much food as possible, used the most caloric optionable condiments for anything I could (butter on EVERYTHING!), and would finish every single edible scrap served to me - regardless of how disgusting it tasted. During my time there, I was started on lorazepam as a PRN med, but due to my anxiety being so severe, they decided to make it a standing 3x per day medication. Problem was, I F-ing HATE short acting benzos, so I demanded them to switch it to clonazepam asap. The klonopin helped greatly, mostly because SSRI's are not effective without a certain amount of body fat, so it was pretty much my only option in terms of anti-anxiety meds. I was thankfully able to avoid atypical antipsychotics, which I personally have problems with (I think they're SUPER overprescribed, especially in psychiatric hospitals for the sake of sedation,) since I still could function intellectually at a level that shocked all of the doctors on board. After 33 days of living in what felt like a more strict version of "Girl, Interrupted," I was released. I had gained 55 pounds within 33 days, and had no feelings of guilt, self loathing, or remorse due to the weight gain. Life since getting out of the hospital has been difficult, and I've tried dozens of medications to try to deal with my diagnoses. Currently, the diagnoses that've stuck through the years are social anxiety disorder, general anxiety disorder, treatment resistant major depression disorder, chronic insomnia, Psoriasis & Psoriatic arthritis, and obsessive compulsive personality disorder. I've also recently had some problems with alcohol, but have been diagnosed or described by doctors as more of a "problem drinker" than a typical "alcoholic." Diagnoses that haven't stuck / have been dealt with have included anorexia nervosa, bipolar disorder (the new ADHD, it seems), borderline personality disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and being a self-harmer [Due to occassionally high-risk behaviors, but I've never cut myself, burned myself, injured myself, or risked my life deliberately beyond the eating disorder episode.] Currently, the meds I'm on include..... -150mg Zoloft (Sertraline) daily -5mg Valium (Diazepam) 3-4x daily -30mg Vyvanse (lisdexamfetamine) daily -10mg Ambien (Zolpidem Tartrate) nightly -250mg Antabuse (Disulfiram) every other day -50-100mg Benadryl (Diphenhydramine) nightly PRN for sedation -45mg Stelara (Ustekinumab) Injection every 8-12 weeks for Psoriasis & Psoriatic Arthritis Past medications I've tried / been on..... -300mg Welbutrin XL (Bupropion XL) daily -.5mg Ativan (Lorazepam) 3-4x daily -.5mg Xanax (Alprazolam) 3x daily -.5mg Klonopin (Clonazepam) 4x daily -10mg Sonata (Zaleplon) nightly -100mg Trazodone nightly I'm pretty sure there are other meds I've been prescribed in the past, but it's hard to remember all of them at the moment. I'm very happy with my current medication regiment, but have found that the Antabuse (Disulfiram) makes me feel a bit numb / irritable, and seems to make the benzos less effective. I've only been on it for about a week, but feel that it definitely is reacting in some strange way with my other meds. Anyways, sorry for the super long introduction, I just wanted to let you guys know a bit about me so you have some background if you see me posting on the forum. Thanks & be well!!
  15. Hi. I'm Unstrung Harp. Currently wading through my umpteeth major depressive episode. Haven't figured out how to attach a signature yet, but I'm a long-time unipolar depressive, with GAD, panic disorder, and maybe some other things, on Zoloft, Buspar, Abilify, Deplin, and (starting tomorrow) Wellbutrin. Going through a rough patch right now, and hoping for some contact to keep me outside of my head a bit. Hello.
  16. I'm totally and completely new here, and have no idea really what I'm doing, but I felt the need to just GET MY THOUGHTS OUT OF MY HEAD. I feel like they're circling around in my brain, slowly chipping away at my sanity. Am I okay? WTF is going on?? I just feel like I'm going freaking crazy! Half of the day, I lay around on my floor (no joke) and either watch TV or go online, feeling like a lazy depressed slob, the other half of the day I feel agitated and the need to move around, clean, organize shit, etc. I've been seeing my psychiatrist 2x a week for the past several weeks (started with an every day meeting while I was inpatient for non-psych related medical issues). Currently he's out of the office for a week and a half...that's two visits that I'm missing, and I feel like I'm going to EXPLODE...or implode. I constantly feel like I need to punch/throw things (though I don't, because I feel guilty about feeling that way)...I should probably mention that I've been dx-ed with MDD, with aspects of GAD/OCD, which I suppose is true (I have a bit of a problem with psychiatric hypochondria, if there is such a thing). I feel like I don't know what's wrong with me, I know something is, I think...I don't know... GOD I just feel like screaming and tearing my hair out! It's been a week and a day since my last psych appt, and I'm going NUTS. I talk to him about stuff I never talk about to anyone else, and it's all building up inside me. I keep getting thoughts popping into my head...weird morbid stuff like gory images, SI/suicidal stuff (ps: just thought, not action!) or just insults from the back of my head talking to me, like "lazy", "loser", "moron" etc, etc. I tend to get obsessive about thoughts and feelings in particular, and tend to analyze them to DEATH (pdoc says it's my defense mechanism). I just feel so confused and scared. Sorry for the rant... I think I just really need someone to talk to.
  17. I don't know how many people get through university so easily. It's so hard. I used to be smart, at least I got good grades. And I understand every topic in my classes, I can write circles around people, at least that's what my professors tell me. All these differences in opinion, all these 'at leasts' make me so confused. I can't even force myself to go to class anymore, to do my papers. I do them in my head but I can't bring myself to write them, I convince myself I'm going to fail anyways. There's a constant war in my head, logic telling me this is stupid, the other voice telling the previous one to shut up. All this controversy is making me feel hopeless. I've cut for 6 years, on and off, but this time it's getting to be the worst of them all. There's something different this time, it's not coping anymore, it's not trying to get better or take away the stress, there's a part of me every time that wishes this'll be the one- the one that's just too deep. And every time it gets closer, I feel that moment of relief, then panic, then relief. It's a psycho cycle. Uni is supposed to be the time of your life, and I feel like it's going to end mine. Am I crazy? Damn I hope not, that would just be the cherry on top of this disastrous thing we call life.
  18. Hey there....think I'm going crazy half time. I keep everything I'm prescribed hidden from family and friends. Can I live the rest of my life doing this??
  19. Well, just wanted to say hello and stuff. Goodbye now.
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