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I am 28 years old and I am facing these symptoms for some time now. I have been told that these symptoms fall on the OCD spectrum. I never thought OCD would be like this. I just wanted to know if anyone has been facing these symptoms- 1) I have a tremendous fear of going mad. In fact my symptoms started because I thought I was going mad. This was a year ago. I always think I might hear or see something, or lose touch with reality. As a result, I am constantly scared. 2) I have very vivid dreams and at times get confused as to whether they actually happened. As a result, it happens that when I wake up, I am confused as to whether the dream actually happened or not, and it is only after sometime that I convince myself that it did not happen. When I wake up, I feel completely helpless and think that I have lost my grip on reality. 3) I have an overactive imagination. As a result, I often act out scenarios in my head. When someone says something, I imagine that they will say this or that next. As a result, I am constantly berating myself and scared, as to why am I imagining stuff? I try to hold my imagination back as I am scared I will confuse it with reality. 4) Usually in the morning, I feel extremely anxious and feel I have lost my grip on reality, so much so that my teeth chatter from morning to afternoon. 5) I keep on getting mental images of things that happened long ago. For instance I will get images of things or incidents from the past that happened about 10 years ago or more. I do not want to think about these things or incidents, and yet I get these images. For instance I will get the image of my house that I used to live in 10 years ago. Since I have not visited these memories in a long time, I have forgotten how I used to feel about these things from long ago, and as a result, I feel extremely unnerved and spooked out when I get these images. 6) I also get images of things and places from my imagination/dreams out of nowhere. These also cause me to get taken aback and be startled and unnerved, as I think that I can no longer distinguish between reality and dreams/fantasy. I try my level best to distinguish these images from reality, question as to why am I getting these images, and somehow put them in a category that will reassure me that I am not going mad. 7) Sometimes I get distorted images of past memories. As these things never happened, they cause me to get startled and think I am losing touch with reality. 8) There are period of time when I am extremely confused and cannot make sense of things. During these times, I will catch myself, and think I am losing touch with reality. I will think that my thinking has become illogical. 9) I am scared of my imagination running away and causing me to lose touch with reality. I will often try to imagine "what happens next" in a scenario, and then get scared and think, why am I doing this? This is delusional thinking. I am losing touch with reality! For instance, if a person is sitting in the room next to me, I will think "they are probably doing this or talking to someone" This causes me discomfort and panic as I think that this is my imagination and causing me to lose my grip. 10) I also get memory problems. This is probably because I am thinking of my mental problems and not paying attention to things. But can this be a symptom of OCD? Do oCD sufferers get mental problems? Is this OCD or something worse? This has been happening for a year now. There are period s of time (1-2 weeks) when I am completely fine though.
When I was first prescribed Zoloft I had very vivid feelings of deja vu, so after two weeks I stopped and switched to Wellbutrin 300mg (SR at first and now XR, prescribed for fatigue and depression). The deja vu persisted for a week or so and then tapered off to be much less frequent and much more mild (12 weeks later). However, as of late, I've been experiencing what is a much sneakier and more subtle type of deja vu, if that is what it is. So background info: I am very active on social news websites, as well as various channels on YouTube and listen to podcasts frequently (sometimes all day long); also I am a college student. So now when I come across various types of information and media, I feel like someone has told me about it. I don't immediately recognize it as fabricated, and sometimes I remain unsure even when I recognize it might be false. For example, when watching an HBO miniseries, I feel like someone has told be some background information and various specific details before. I never remember the source, but when seeing something that would be recognizable when rewatching it, I'm like ohhh, THATS what they were talking about! There was a shot in the show that depicted a giant arch made from two sword sculptures. I noticed it looked rather CGI, and then had this mild flashback where I thought someone mentioned how bad it looked in the show. This sort of stuff would happen once or twice per episode, as well as when someone tells me some new information. I see whatever is new, and try to draw connections to something I've heard in the past. The reason I mentioned that "background info" is because how I am combatted with a huge amount of information per day, playing games and listening to podcasts at the same time, watching lots of shows, and closely following a variety of news. I've heard that wellbutrin can cause seizures and after some online research I found that it affects the temporal lobe in the brain, which is responsible for long term memory. Also I believe I read somewhere that deja vu is a symptom of a mild seizure, because it is basically a hiccup in memory from the pathways being short-circuited (oversimplified, I know). My current hypothesis is: Because of the stress induced by forcing recall for various exams for college, coupled with the additional [unnatural] amount of information ingested thanks to the speed and convenience of the internet, I am able to make more connections between information than I could without these tools. But this high rate of connections also accounts for a high rate of misses (loose decision criterion). Further more, due my medication affecting the temoral lobe, I have trouble distinguishing these misses from actual connections, possibly attributed to the common seizure side-effect altering memory. The reasoning I came up with for this phenomena could be just "Medical Student Syndrome" (not a med student, but I've been thoroughly researching potential causes and side-effects for my diagnosis). Maybe I am reaching too much for a third-variable, when in reality it may just be Wellbutrin causes deja vu/siezures, or not allowing myself time to decompress without constant learning leads to me having too much vague information in my head. However, I am certain that the deja vu/incorrect-memory-connections occur semi-frequently. Thanks for reading this block of text. I love you. (links: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simple_partial_seizure; http://www.drugs.com/sfx/wellbutrin-side-effects.html)