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Found 17 results

  1. I've been applying for jobs. I just quit a new one because I was too anxious to make the commute. I've been checking the disability box. How do you know when it's time to throw in the towel on working? Have you been able to find a job that works with your disabilities? My GAD manifests as social anxiety and agoraphobia. It seems to be getting worse. I was too anxious to meet with a new tdoc today. How do you even begin to qualify for disability in the US? How do you get help when you can't help yourself?
  2. I'm going to see a lawyer tomorrow about disability, and I'm terrified. I don't know what to expect and my anxiety is through the roof. I keep feeling like they are going to laugh at me and think I'm not sick enough. I've had nightmares about it all week, and I keep obsessively thinking about it. Has anyone else gone through this? What was the meeting like? Any info or support is welcome.
  3. A few days ago, my husband left and called my family to come get me. I was sick out of work for a week. Husband stayed home with me that last day and then disapeared while I was napping. The next thing I knew was that my family gathered me up, brought me to another city where they live, told me to quit my job, and give notice on my rental house. I'm giving away almost all my possessions as I don't know when I will be able to live on my own again. I now have no job, no husband, no money, and no freedom. I am giving my mom power of attorney since I can't manage anything right now. I hate bipolar. So weary of being sick. My family is planning on me going on permanent disability, because I seem to be getting more unstable as I age. I feel beyond bad. My young adult son is more of an adult than I am. I know I am venting. Does anyone have any hope to offer? Right now, I'm feeling pretty out of hope.
  4. I suspect this will help a couple people here. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2016/04/12/obama-to-forgive-the-student-debt-of-permanently-disabled-people/?tid=sm_fb
  5. I'm really hoping someone here will have some insight. I was diagnosed bipolar in January 2012 and ended up on disability leave from my call center job (which I had held for 3 years). So after winter/spring 2012, It was a rough year plus on the med go round. I was hospitalized twice. I applied for and received SSDI on the first try, I had my back pay within 7 months of the initial application. I found a med that worked for me for a while, and in fall 2013 my wife was laid off. I was feeling better. So I got a job in a call center. Full time, with benefits, decent pay. After I started in October 2013, I made it about 9 months before relapse. I took an 8 week leave of absence from work in July/August 2014. After going back to work, I applied for a promotion and interviewed 3 or 4 times for the job. I prepped extensively for interviews and slayed them. I got the job. Suddenly I worked in a bank, not a call center, and I had to wear business suits and high heels. Suddenly I had clients constantly badgering me for something (usually to waive their fees), I had to source my own call lists and screen numbers through the federal do not call list, I had to shake hands with people and smile constantly and it was just a lot for me to deal with. I made it about 4 months in a hypomanic whirl and then crashed spectacularly in January 2015. Got disability leave from work, unpaid. Had to get SSDI reinstated. Went back to therapy. Changed my meds. Getting better was my job. I spent most of April and May suicidal. Eventually my mood improved as we nailed down my cocktail. So then I asked about going back to work. My pdoc and I determined that I wasn't ready to work full time, but she encouraged me to try part time. So I submitted the documents for a reduced work schedule and my employer said nope, just stay on leave until you come back full time. Okay. So I can't do my job full time, but they won't let me do it part time, but I feel well enough to be able to work some, and I'm fucking broke. Enter my wife's employer, which is a competing financial institution. We'll call it "the co-op." They have a part time job opening doing marketing/telesales at a call center. They recruit me heavily. I interview for the position and blow it out of the water. They offer me the job. They increase the starting pay by $1.50 additional per hour due to my resume/experience. I accept the job. I started at the beginning of July. So I go to orientation at the co-op. It's a little embarrassing the fuss people are making about me. I already knew a lot of the employees from attending work functions with my wife. After orientation I show up at the "co-op" and start doing some training. During this first week, I talked to my supervisor, whom we'll call Misty. I sat down with her and explained that I have a disability and I'm on SSDI, and I can only work a certain number of hours each month to stay under the earnings limit for social security. Misty says it wouldn't be a problem. The next week we were working together to set my work schedule for August, and I email her again that I can only work 77 hours per calendar month. She responds to the email, again saying that it's no problem whatsoever. Yesterday was the 31st of August. On a hunch, at the end of my shift on Saturday, I went into the timekeeping system and pulled the report showing how many hours I'd worked in August. I was at 76. So on Monday I come in to work and show Misty the pertinent reports and I agree to stay for an hour to return calls from voicemail and deal with various situations under my purview, and then leave for the day. Misty says this is totally fine by her. Today I come in to work and handle my stuff, eventually we have a meeting scheduled. It is uneventful. Misty asks me to stay afterwards to talk to her. She tells me that I can't have days off at the end of the month. I say okay, we will plan better next time. She starts telling me about how she doesn't think she can accommodate my hours and that the VP of marketing is going to be mad at her if she continues to allow me to work a reduced schedule. I was quiet and listened to what she had to say. I told her that I had been totally transparent about my disability from day one, and she agreed. I told her that I thought it sounded like a reasonable accommodation under the Americans with Disabilities Act. I told her that if she needed me to work more hours then the only way I could keep my job is if they cut my pay. She said that they're not allowed to cut my pay because of HR. She told me that since I'm part time they don't need to accommodate me, and told me about how they just let go two part time employees for getting pregnant. I told her I didn't understand how that was applicable to my situation, because I'm not asking for maternity leave. Misty skirted around my question about accommodations and reiterated that she hired me to work the hours that they need and I didn't tell her during my interview that I needed accommodation. She really made it sound like she felt that I'd lied to her. I asked her if this had anything to do with performance, and she said no. I'm well ahead of the goals for how many calls I need to make and how many sales referrals I need to make. Other supervisors and managers had complimented Misty on my work when I had to escalate situations to member relations. She said that she was going to have to talk to the VP of Marketing and HR and get back to me. She made it quite clear that she thought the coop would be willing/able to let me go. I spent an hour plus tonight reading over the ADA page on the EEOC website.(http://www.eeoc.gov/policy/docs/accommodation.html#general ) I didn't go to law school, but I'm reasonably intelligent and from my reading all of this bullshit is completely illegal. I do not have any obligation to inform a prospective employer about accommodations I may need. They chose not to ask me during the interview process. I am clearly capable of performing the essential functions of the job. I am meeting all performance parameters despite the fact that I work fewer hours than others do. I have done nothing remotely inappropriate. I requested accommodations immediately, both verbally and in writing. I feel that I am liked and respected at the office, and given all of the energy that all of these people put into recruiting me, you'd think it would be small potatoes to just give me 2 or 3 extra days off per month. I am mostly certain that there is no legal way for them to terminate my employment without getting sued for wrongful termination. Nevertheless, I am nervous. Has anyone else dealt with anything like this before? The coop is a smaller company than those I've worked for in the past, but they are large enough to be subject to FMLA and the ADA. How do I handle this? Do I need to have legal counsel write me a letter (one of my college pals might do it as a favor), or do I just plead my case to HR and hope I come out on top? I don't know what comes next. I don't know what I'm doing. Up until this afternoon I felt like the luckiest person alive to be able to find a job that is something that I'm good at for few enough hours to keep me sane. I love my job. I love going to work. I love feeling productive. Today I made a SICK excel spreadsheet and it was so fucking rewarding. I really don't want to lose my job. Thoughts, suggestions, ideas, all welcome.
  6. So I've been wondering if my illness is severe enough to apply for disability. I've never been hospitalized, but my illnesses make it very difficult for me to work. I was only able to keep my last job for 4 years because of fairly special circumstances. It was part time (15 hours a week) and I was able to work completely alone without anyone bothering me. Still, it was difficult for me to balance the job with the rest of my life and I know for a fact that it contributed to at least one major episode, requiring me to take time off work. I eventually quit because the position became too complex for me to handle anymore: it was contributing to a major depression. And I know that working a regular 8-5 job would be straight out for me because I KNOW I can't handle the stress of working 40 hours a week and trying to run a family at the same time. My sleep and eating will get all out of whack and then I'm in real trouble. I just seriously doubt I'll ever be able to find a job that is low stress enough that I'll be able to keep it. I also have trouble just managing my day to day life. My house isn't unsanitary or anything, but it's a mess. And I can't bring myself to cook most of the time so we eat out a lot. I just know that my illnesses severely affect my quality of life. Being on disability would give me at least some income, which would be a mood boost since I wouldn't feel like a total loser who can't contribute to the family. I'm just not sure if I should bother applying, since I'm not sure if I'm "sick enough". I suppose it can't hurt to try, but I wanted to hear others' stories (not necessarily their medical opinion or anything) about their circumstances and the application process.
  7. Some background info in case those reading are part of the 10% and don't know about this.. or in case this whole story is really yet another lie from the powers that be about what is really going on in my life. http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message1874111/pg1 http://atmosphereofthought.com/ Anyway I have been a non-reader for 15 years now with "readers" all around me. I have had my mind read (and tortured ) by everyone around me since my early teens, and never really knew what to think about it. All i knew/know is that everyone around me knows what I think. and I mean EVERYONE. I have never seen/heard of another "non-reader" since anyl of this has started. Today my mom said something to me that yet again confirmed my beliefs. I talked to her about everything i have learned from this forum earlier today. then at one point i started feeling very bitter and angry and so i asked her if i could please just burrow money for some beer cause everything is doomed for me anyway. and she said, "if you have blue eyes, you can't make them into black eyes" I know she's right. there is nothing I can do. everyone around me will always read my mind and I will never be able to do the same. Anyway my mind is weak. I blame myself for being a non-reader. i feel i have poor self-control over my mind and my actions so i guess i deserve whatever hell i will be in for the rest of time as i know it. but at this point it just feels so unfair because i will never get out of this segment of reality as a non reader no matter what. so no matter how much i try to improve in my mind and actions, - i.e quit drinking, etc, it essentially wont do me any good. My only hope in life is to learn to block the "readers" all around me with some kind of psychic shield if that is possible, and just try try try again to become a better person and find serenity in my life.
  8. I've already used double the amount of time off i have and I'm potentially losing my heath insurance Friday and I'm still in a day program (Partial Hospitalization Program) for treatment. I'm losing money by the day and my therapist says "you should be eligible for short term disability benefits" - but mine does not cover mental illness and/or pre-existing conditions. I work in Massachusetts, does anyone know if there are any options for short-term disability coverage for mental illness? I don't even know if I can file a claim after the fact, but it's so frustrating that it is so impossible to find any information. I'm jealous of people who have jobs that provide advocates for them to figure this crap out for them. Any help or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated! Thank you
  9. Today I received a Direct Express card mail card in the mail, the accompanying paperwork stated that I requested it. I have done no such thing. I have had direct deposit to my savings account for the last 3 years. What gives? Has anyone else experienced this? This is such a headache, especially since I was expecting to get paid next week. I hope that I can resolve it in time to meet the rent and be able to make my scheduled automatic payments.
  10. Dear Mom, One thing it seems to me that people in general are particularly deaf about is the statement, "I have no money." In my experience, the only people who truly understand this are other people who have been homeless and the DMH [Department of Mental Health] caseworkers. Maybe some therapists. Mark, the millionaire many times over, also seemed, oddly, to understand. To everyone else, "I have no money" seems to mean "I'm low on money," or "I'm feeling a financial pinch," or "I'm awfully strapped for money." I don't mean that. I mean I HAVE NO MONEY. There is no money in an account I have access to. There is no money in my wallet. There are no bills under my mattress. There is No. Fucking. Money. It REALLY pissed me off yesterday when the allergist said, "You don't need a prescription for the allergy covers." Uhh, yeah, big deal. I need a prescription to get Medicaid to PAY for them. That's why I told the receptionist, "The only way for me to get the allergy covers is for me to go to Target and steal them." People do this sort of thing all the time. I was talking to the lady who was going to schedule the interview. She started to give me instructions about parking--people do this all the time. I interrupted her and said, "I don't have a car." Oh! she said, slightly taken aback. Because who, in America, doesn't have A CAR? Adam Lastname used to do exactly the same thing. Bob used to do exactly the same thing. Gabriel just evinced that he does the same thing. Betty? She was so stone deaf about it I ended my friendship over her deafness. Susan and John? I think they live in some sort of hallucinatory world where somehow my once having money, or my once being able to get a job to make money, somehow translates into a present where I do have money. It's the Susan and John causality time-warp. When I used to borrow money from people, something Adam Lastname was always recommending, and they start asking me all these QUESTIONS, I have to somehow keep from shrieking: "I have no money! Don't you think I THOUGHT of X, and Y, and Z? Don't you think it OCCURRED to me that I might try P, and D, and Q? Short of selling my body on the street corner, which would be awfully hard given my relatively chunky state, I HAVE NO MONEY! I HAVE NO PROSPECT OF GETTING ANY MONEY (until January 1). It's not a prospect of having MORE money, or SOME EXTRA money, or A LITTLE MAD money, or a TIP, or a "MAYBE THIS WILL HELP OUT A LITTLE"--it's the FACT, the present, stark, true, undeniable, incontrovertible FACT, OF HAVING NO MONEY!" That's why, in order to try to take some advantage of Gabriel's "present," I had to steal coffee filters from Walgreens. I suppose I could have gone to a public bathroom somewhere and taken a whole lot of paper towels and used them for coffee filters. But that is the sort of completely-without-dignity behavior I had to engage in when I was homeless, and I'd rather throw the fucking coffee away then be reduced to doing that. I am not asking you for money. I have food stamps and will be able to survive. I'm just venting about deafness in general.
  11. Please celebrate with me the SSDI approval **passes out home made cookies** I checked out the SSA website and found out just now I was approved. Question: What happens next? Is SSI automatic? Thanks in advance for your assistance .
  12. I made a decision last night I cannot work anymore. My mental health is declining, my faith in my recovering is shattering, and the whole time at work I am a mess. I will be applying for disability for my bipolar...any advice, and how do I bring this up to my doc and counselor? My mood is low and my anxiety is high. I have been in this prison too long, its time to be free to finally have time and help to recover.
  13. If you are not sufficiently outraged by NPR's This American Life piece on Social Security disability here is a follow-up on the subject: Ira Glass’s fact problem
  14. The American way of life is to work 40+ hours and to do so for many years in order to have a descent retirement/health care plan. So what about someone like me? I havent been able to stay at a job longer than 3 years, and that was over 10 years ago! I am a single mother who has to pay childcare during breaks from school, and with no degree I am paying out about half my earnings to childcare. Recently diagnosed with bipolar about 4 years ago, Ive had the most manic episodes over the past 5 years than I ever had. I have great trouble keeping a job due to stressors. My most recent job, working as a deli clerk in a health food store started out wonderful, and ended up with me putting in my one months notice due to a need for surgery, and them telling me not to come in anymore because I am a liability.I should mention that I also have numerous herniated discs throughout my neck and back, mild scoliosis and cervical kyphosis (straight-neck). So I am dealing with mental disability as well as physical disability. The problem for me is Ive applied numerous times for ssdi and been denied. I applied again at the urging of my counselor, but I cant get over feeling like I should be able to achieve The American Way of life. My bf is non-supportive of my diagnosis, and I have no one else to support me. When I say no one, I mean NO ONE. I dont speak to my mentally ill adoptive family, rarely speak to my birth-mom who thinks I need to pray to solve my problems, and just recently lost a 23 year friendship over religious differences (her Christain decision, Not mine) So here I am once again, unemployed, applied for ssdi and wondering what to do next????
  15. Hello, So under the advice of psychiatrists on the inpatient ward I've started the process in B.C. of applying for Income Assistance, with the intention of applying for Persons With Disabilities. I'm not sure if there's anybody here from B.C., but I thought I'd give it a shot just in case. 1. I'm having some problems with my application. They wanted a medical note, but when I went to my doctor's office today he wasn't there and the note I ended up getting wasn't sufficient according to the person I submitted my documents to at the office. She said to just get it in as soon as possible, and didn't seem to catch what I was asking for when I asked if it was actually possible to put an extension on my case file. My doctor is back in on Tuesday, the last day I have to submit documents, but the person I need to take me there can't do so until Wednesday. Part of the problem with my illness is that I can't do these things, especially not alone. Should I be calling my original contact person to request an extension? 2. I have a sub-account under my mother's bank account; she owns the account, but mine is below her account as a separate area. It has its own account number, its own bank card, its own bank statements, mum can't withdraw from the account with her debit card but can see what's going on with the account when she logs in via the bank. They say I'm not allowed a joint bank account, and I'm not sure if this counts. Does anybody know? 3. I'm so absolutely scared that I will be rejected. I know that you can appeal if you're rejected, but the process to me seems so threatening and just downright scary. Does anyone in B.C. know of some advocates that I could contact if I need them that are familiar with the mental illness aspect when it comes to applying for assistance? If I don't appeal, does anyone know how long I have to wait to reapply? Thanks
  16. Not only do I suffer from BPD and really bad depression, I manage group homes for people with developmental disabilities in NJ. Recently, our agency has been expanding into the mental illness field and I am having a very difficult time helping one young woman who suffers from the most severe case of BPD I could ever imagine. She has been diagnosed with bipolar and schizophrenia in the past but those were definitely things she made up. She also suffers from a cognitive impairment, so she does not have the functional coping skills that people with average IQ have. She is also deaf, but wears hearing aids, speaks ASL, and reads lips. Her impulsive, self destructive behavior (such as having unprotected sex during breaks, jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend to girlfriend, violent outbursts that I myself have been a victim of) has gotten her kicked out of 2 day programs so far. Those programs did not provide the intense 1:1 therapy she needs. After days and days of research, I have yet to find a program for her that can treat both her mental illness AND her cognitive impairment... this is a sad sad case, and I am trying to be a role model for her by sharing my similar feelings and experiences but it's hard when I myself have been suicidal and wanting to leave my job and file for disability myself... This is just a sad situation that I thought some people might have some thoughts to share on the subject.
  17. Sorry to interupt anything, but I don't know where else to turn. I need advise and I need it FAST! Let me give you the rundown: Disorders: Schizoaffective (bipolar type 1 mixed); Panic Disorder; ADD; Severe Social Phobia; Acute Anxiety; Severe Agoraphobia; Severe depression Now); Chronic Pain Disorder; severe obstructive sleep apnea; severe EDS/Narcolepsy; late stage hypothyroidism; high blood pressure...and more I'm sure... Meds currently on (some for decades): Geodon 80 mgs daily; Prozac 80 mgs daily; Clonazepam 6 mgs daily; Neurontin 1200 mgs daily; Adderall 60 mgs daily; Oxycontin 80 mgs daily; Oxycodone 45 mgs daily; Baclofet 75 mgs daily; Lisinopril 25 mgs daily (blood pressure); Synthroid 75 mcgs daily; and some misc.; antibiotics, etc. Income: Was a writer/designer for about 25 years, applied for disability in 2006 and was turned down but in appeal (as of today, it's still in appeal for back pay). Attorney advised to apply a second time and was given immediately last year, and considered 'lifelong' chronic disorders, but only $1,000 per month. I also took Indiana Medicaid and Food Stamps. Story 1: I have had no luck with shrinks in a couple years and fired my last one about a year ago. My doctor has been keeping me up on my meds including pain specialist, sleep disorder specialist. But for a year now, I have been trying to find a competent shrink that takes medicaid...but have had no luck. Last two shrinks I saw...one in May 2011, and one in Oct. 2011, both said my conditions were 'too acute' and didn't have the resources etc. to treat me. They also said (and I agree from experience) that my conditions are too acute for places like behavioral clinics and stress centers (been to both several times). And they weren't the first to say maybe the only option left is ECT because I have tried every (or most) anti-psychotics and anti-depressants, and mood stabilizers with no luck. I only had some luck with Geodon (which I take now), but I've gained about 50 pds and the paranoia and phobias are still strong. Abilify helped some, but gained weight, was maxed out and they took me off it. No luck with anti-depressants. Part 2: Because I had lost all hope for disability long ago, when I finally got it last year, I was in such bad shape (I was hospitalized 3 times in 5 months before and after I began getting it. Indiana medicaid sent me a letter a couple weeks ago saying I should have reported that income. Stupid me!! I figured...disability, both federal/state run; knew situation, etc. I thought it would automatically be known by state government, but I guess not. So, they immediately, without warning, cut my food stamps from $200 per month to $50 per month, and the biggie; they cut my medicaid and gave me a spend down of $300 per month before they provide anything. I immediately appealed it, but nothing has been set yet. The Problem and hope for advise: About 8 months ago, I was pretty much homeless, but came across a so-called 'friend' I knew since grade school. Known her over 35 years. She was informed of the situation, and gave me an offer I couldn't refuse..I had no other choice. (Keep in mind, we are just friends, not lovers or anything like that). After a couple months of talking, she made an offer of: I move to Lebanon, In close to her and she would be my provider until I could get the mental and physical help I needed and was stable...including help cleaning, finances, pay my bills, laundry etc. (I can no longer do daily tasks), and all I would have to do is find and establish a rapport with a shrink, therapist, doctors etc. I warned her it might take several months in my condition, she said 'quit worrying about it'...so I put my trust in her. She took everything I made including food stamps and medicaid covering everything except a $36 monthly copay for meds and found an apartment, got me set up etc. and budgeted everything so I would end up with about $150 to $200 per month left over (on good months), but after about 2 weeks of me getting in the apartment she bailed on me and won't have anything to do with me. And with my disorders, I can't do it all myself. I have also had two unsuccessful back surgeries and my pain specialist wants me to see another specialist for a third surgery. I can't do it. (Don't forget I have extreme agoraphobia; social and socio phobia (fear of public places as well as people in general). So I rarely go outside unless I have to. But with these cuts medicaid did to me, instead of just $36 per month for meds, I have to pay everything until the first $300 is paid. I DON'T have it! Like I said, I barely have $150 to $200 left per month and much of that is for emergencies like: higher utility bills depending on season etc., other meds; food that the $200 per month food stamps wouldn't take care of (yes, it's next to impossible to live off of $50 for a 7 day week of groceries, especially when you can't make it to the grocery store and you just live off frozen overpriced shit from the 24 hour CVS pharmacy across the street). So with this new spend down and cut in food stamps, I figured at minimum, I would end up at least $75+ in the hole every month. I can't afford two of my meds let alone 13! I live very cheaply. I don't have a phone, I don't have cable TV, no entertainment except the computer (which is my only way of contact with society). I have exactly 30 days of meds left, still no shrink, I've tried every resource I can come up with and I'm at a dead end. I still need part time live in help...I go a month+ without a shower or brushing; I have no clothes; I don't have a washer or dryer; I don't even have broom or vacuum cleaner...shit, I don't even have a bed...I sleep on the couch. I am waiting for replies from my last two possible resources. A social worker/case manager, and because of everything else, I going to try to find a psychologist I can talk to and maybe he can pull some strings. Does anyone have any suggestions? Is it possible to go to another country as a visitor and get proper medical treatment without losing my disability? Is there a law or exception for people like me to get this spend-down reversed? ANYTHING!!!???? I'm so sorry to take up your time, but I just have absolutely nowhere else to turn and I'm afraid I'm just going to end up being another statistic in a very short amount of time. A mentally ill nobody living on the street. I won't last two months. I am not street wise. I was decades ago, but not anymore. Again, I'm so sorry to bother you, I just don't know what else to do. Any suggestions would help and I thank you in advance...sincerely. Steve
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