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Found 21 results

  1. HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER TYPE II, AND ALSO I HAVE SOCIAL PHOBIA. I HAVE HISTORY OF DRUG ABUSE, AND I HAD BEEN ADDICTED TO XANAX FOR 2 YEARS. THEN, BY FOLLOWING ASHTON MANUAL, I FINALLY MANAGED TO DROP OFF THESE MEDS GRADUALLY. AND I HAVE BEEN CLEAN FOR 18 MONTHS NOW. BUT MY LIFE GRADUALLY BECOMES IMPOSSIBLE AND 1 WEEK AGO I TOOK XANAX( AGAIN) AND IT HELPED ME TO DO DAILY TASKS WITHOUT ANXIETY ISSUES. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I HAVE THE FEELING THAT WITHOUT BENZOS MY LIFE IS NOT AS IT SHOULD BE WITHOUT XANAX I AM LOCKED IN MY HOUSE, BARELY ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH STRANGERS, EVEN WHEN NEEDED.
  2. I welcome you to rate all the psychotropic drugs which you took in the past or are taking in the present. A short explanation of your experience with the drug(s) would be helpful, so that we better understand your rating. Oh, and please tell us which conditions you treat(ed). Thanks. Rating Scale is from 0 to 5... "zero" being the worst, "five" being the best. _______________________________________________________________________________ Sertraline 2 / 5 - subtle effects. Did help with psychosomatic ailments, derealization and cognition, but caused SSRI-typical apathy &
  3. Soo, Iv been on seroquel XR for 3 years on 150mg, and recently about 2 month ago, I started drinking more and did some coke every couple days, so when I was doing coke I wouldn't take my meds cuz i didn't know how they would react to each other. Did that for 2 month now I just got my refil and I'm gonna start taking them regularly again, and I took on last night after not taking on for 3 or 4 days, and I feel anxious still and sick to my stumach, but I'm really tired like more tired then when I was on it regularly. I'm kinda concerned and i hope that it goes away, any advice would
  4. So, i have more than a year excerzicing, i lost in the beginning like 10 kilos or more. But this past months ive loosing my motivation ans starting gaining belly fat, in part due to my anxious eating i accept it. Right now im always tortured by the fact that im getting more fat againg even if people around me say that no, im convinced i am, also if i dont feel the nergy to exercise one day or i cant exercise for whaterver reason that day i feel like crap, obssesed about the fact that i didnt exercise and that im going to get even more fat. Its hell, also it mixes whit the fact t
  5. So the story is really complicated but I don't know how to move on with my life after it. To summarize, I got married 4.5 years ago and we moved here together. From the beginning he constantly threatened me with divorce which took its toll on my mood (I tried commiting suicide a few months after moving here). I never wanted to cheat but in addition to threats of divorce, he always called me oversexual and suggested I see a doctor (I wanted sex once a day... not unusual for a guy). Despite all of this I worked hard at a job I hated to support the both of us (he wouldn't work, he was a full
  6. I looked at a number of threads and blogs about meds for MI and how frightened people are and how they hate the side effects and so on. More then one person has commented that looking for personal opinions about a drug are screwed up because its like the news. Reporting bad news is the norm. Reporting good news? Not so much. So what I hope to do with this thread is to hear from people who had a problem (Like Depression etc) and were prescribed something that worked. My first visit to crazyboards was me having a stroke worried that MI drugs would veg me out, ruin my brain, turn me into
  7. Hello Everybody It's my first time on this board and it looks like the right place for me with my current condition so I just wanted to say hey A little about me : I'm 23 years old and recently after developing psychosis :/ (about 3 weeks ago) and its really freaking me out ; racing thoughts, paranoia, delusional thinking, inability to form a sentence when talking to people, hard to concentrate when people are talking to me as my mind would race, fear people were judging me , isolating as a result, and to top it off , a bad bout of insomnia because ofthe racing thoughts. (I would have
  8. Alright--first post, so bear with me here. It took me about five minutes to figure out what to type after that sentence. As much as I'd like to write a memoir on this forum about my insane drug-induced disordered life, I'll try to make my questions simple. Really, I couldn't decide if I should post in this thread or the OCD, social phobia, depersonalization, or addictions one. I used to be a crazy, outgoing kid that loved going out in public. Pulling pranks on people in grocery stores and getting in trouble at fast food drive-thru's were my favorite hobbies. I had been like this my w
  9. So my husband and I are working on another baby, and of course my thoughts turn to all of the meds that I'm taking. My pnurse and I decided I should only take max 1-2 drugs. After some research, only one of the things I take is relatively safe for me to take (Wellbutrin). Everything else will need to be tapered if at all possible, and just stopped if not. I'm just curious what experience the rest of you might have had with tapering meds for pregnancy. Did you have a lot of trouble being off your meds? Did you have a plan for going back on them after birth? Anything you can share wou
  10. I doubt anyone remembers me but I made some blog posts and forum posts a month or 2 ago about my snorting focalin and doing benzedrex inhalers along with other addictions and unsuccessful meds. Well, since then I've just stopped thinking of my mental disorders as concrete things and just consider myself bipolar NOS because it's easier. I got the whole motherload of schizoid adhd paranoid sometimes manic depressive disharmoniushellride. But after almost locking myself in to a rehab during the interview, they gave me a tour and it was just like the crisis unit, thorazine zombies and one flew ove
  11. I never know if I feel normal, or if I even remember what normal feels like, or happiness even. When I was 12 years old, I was happy. I got bullied, I was fat, lazy, but I was happy. I had motivation and emotions. But I remember stumbling upon a bottle of xanax on top of my fridge, looking at it for weeks, contemplating taking one. I eventually took 1, and I remember feeling like everything was alright, none of my problems mattered. It started as a once a week thing. And then an every day thing. And then, I found a bottle of adderall, when I was 13 I think. Xanax and adderall, my life was perf
  12. If yes, why? If no, why do you think so? I am a pot smoker myself and when I first started I thought hell no but now I believe that it is. I speak for myself.. I did try harder drugs after that. It wasn't because marijuana didnt get me high enough. I enjoyed the different effects other drugs and how it was so strong such as pain killers.. Those would be my drug of choice. So yeah.... Thoughts??
  13. Hi crazy people, I'm a 28-year-old guy currently living in Las Vegas. I make films as a career - but I'm taking a much needed break - to work on myself mentally, learn how to play poker, and become a bartender. I have some form of clinical major depression and some kind of anxiety -- once the science actually figures out how to narrw this down, I'll let you know too. I've been using state provided mental health services because I can't hold a job right now... it's helpful for getting you free drugs, but the therapy side is a bit lacking. Aside from group options, I've been waitin
  14. DAMN! Triggered myself replying to another post a few days back. Started thinking about how it would feel if I just had one more hit. Then started thinking about how I would go about scoring.... organising a place to shoot up... how to hide it from family... how will my meds react to it. AHHHHHH CRAP! I'm gonna relapse for sure. I gotta think about about the negatives. Psychosis Money work Health Family I'm on a fricking community order EVERYONE will know.... for sure I can't afford another trip to psychosis valley.... But still these cravings are gonna win. I haven't made any so
  15. I've been having the physical sensations of a panic attack for two days. My chest is starting to ache as my heart won't stop racing.. My hands shake, I can't take a deep breath. All this because of shame. I am consumed by shame and self hatred (due to recent behavior) and all the self soothing skills I'm trying are barely taking the edge off. I'm 28 and have borderline personality, and am in therapy. My therapy goal now is to get me back to work after two years dedicated to getting a handle on my MI. Frankly, the idea of going to work absolutely paralyzes me with fear. Two nights ago, the wa
  16. Addictions are not only dangerous during the abuse of the drug or alcohol, but afterwards as well. Suffering the after math of it is certainly no easy feat, but I suppose this is the price you pay for it. There is no use now wishing that it never happened. It is over now, and all that is left is suffering the damage it left and moving forward. I never smoked a cigarette or did hard street drugs. I smoked weed for awhile, and when I was denied any other type of street drugs since all the dealers were actually looking out for me, I turned to pharmaceutical drugs. I would say I was a pill-popper
  17. I need a narrative or some kind of master, in this way... The point of this narrative must be that it gives me some kind of identity or goal. I understand a job can be part of this, or so can something like an educational goal, as could, I suppose, having a family or a hobby (not that those are comparable). Whatever it is that this constitutes has to challenge me or build me and to form my identity and advance me. I think it must have a sense of progression or of building, but none of my jobs I have had have ever been considered by me as a form of identity, or who I am, though they obviou
  18. For context about what I have been going through, and for how long, please see my recent post http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/66238-things-i-am-ashamed-of/ After many years, I talked to an old friend I was out of touch with and told him what I was going through. He was very supportive, and we talked about many things. One of the things he said was He offered to score drugs for me. I am middle aged and have never been interested in illicit drug experiences, and have actually always been afraid of the consequences. I don't even drink alcohol, although I did in college. He s
  19. Going through this forum section has made me reminisce about years of very stupid teenage behaviour and whatnot, but I am curious about something. I tried Ecstasy probably around 5-6 times and it never had any effect on me whatsoever. A couple of those times I even took multiple pills and I've never met anyone who hasn't had some kind of reaction to this drug. It is not because the drugs were placebos or just generally ineffective (as far as I know). Anyone else ever experience this (or hear of this happening)? It always struck me as strange and often made me frustrated because I wanted to fee
  20. Hi there all, I'm very new here. in fact, i haven't even posted yet but i wanted to pose this query first because i've been interested in it for a long time. I believe that this post may be insulting for some. In advance, i apologize.. I'm 19 still living at home . The only thing i have been diagnosed with so far is ADD, and that was many many years ago. I stopped taking adderol after high school because of how it made me feel socially.. I haven't gone to see anyone for my problems yet, But i have been self diagnosing for quite a while, and im very sure that i have Depression, General A
  21. Hello everyone, I'm new here and I'm completely terrified. I had a very extensive drug history when I was younger and I am very proud to say that I was able to get myself clean without the help of rehab (I tried once before, but it failed) 6 months after I got clean I fell pregnant with my daughter and I can honestly say she's kept me on the straight and narrow. I more or less replaced my addiction to drugs with an addiction to doing things with my daughter, which isn't really a bad thing. When I'm having a bad day and start thinking about things I shouldn't, I take her out and we have a girl
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