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Found 5 results

  1. Since starting Wellbutrin last august i have felt fairly stable as far as my depression goes. I have felt normal and sometimes almost upbeat in a way that did not slip into euphoria. I started taking Ritalin last year or this year due to insurance issues with my nuvigil for narcolepsy. I also had a......traumatic?? life experience where I learned that my husband had cheated on me and may have gotten this girl knocked up. We are trying to work things out, and I've been dealing, but it is hard. It constantly plays through my mind. She is always between us. That had a big triggering effect on me. Since then, back in April, I have been utilizing my support group and working on building myself back up and redefining my reality. It is a lot of work, but I have managed and I am learning to deal with it better. Lately though, I have felt my anxiety crawling up. I have also been super emotional. Crying for no obvious reason (in that moment, i will be fine and then something as minor as a sigh can trigger tears). I am aware that wellbutrin can cause issues with anxiety. Mine has always been very high though. Can anxiety cause you to cry like depression does? I'm not saying I'm not depressed right now....Just...I don't even know what I am trying to say or ask. I can't think. My thoughts are so disorganized right now. I did have two cups of coffee this morning.. One day I'll be perfectly fine and stable. The next day I may be overly emotional. The next day I may be good again. The next,awful or bad. I started keeping a mood chart about a month ago and it looks like an active seismograph! From day to day I cannot say how I might feel. To my knowledge I have not been diagnosed with rapid cycling anything, but my pdoc is still getting to know me. I was already medicated when I started seeing him with tweaks here and there. I've also learned I do not deal well with change. My husband started a new job and works as a mechanic during the day and a tow truck driver on nights and weekends so it feels like he is always gone. It going to take a lot of adjustment and I have not been handling it well. I've spent the last year applying for jobs and I cannot get hired anywhere. Part of me is thankful because I"m not sure how I would handle working around people, but a part of me is highly disappointed because I want to work. It feels so controversial. I do not want to just bum around and be completely dependent on anyone, but at the same time I am TERRIFIED of getting into the workforce again. I haven't worked in years because I have been home caring for children. Now, they are all in school and I worry, if I find a job then who will be home with them when they are sick? Who will take them to appointments? Things like that. What if I get a job and I can't control my emotions? I break down or have a very irritable day/s? I stay irritable. I always have. I can fake the happy personality, but I won't excel at my job doing that I don't think. I learn slow. I would once again have to adjust to something new. I avoid watching most tv, and listening to a lot of music as well as being around most people because I'm worried I'll be triggered into one emotion or another and not be able to pull myself out of it. People have asked me more than once why have I not applied for SSI? It seems so final I guess. I guess I'm worried that there will be no turning back if I do that. What else am I going to do though? I'm not doing anything currently except for being a money pit. I need to do something to help our household. I feel...what is the word...inept? useless? I'm not sure. I do not even know if my symptoms are uncontrolled enough to qualify if that is a thing. Do you have to be constantly uncontrolled to qualify? I am sorry the post was so long. I apologize again for being all over the place. I needed to get all of that out, but I had no idea how. I tell everyone that "I am fine." /sigh
  2. Hey there! Long time no post and I wanted to pop in and get chatting about something that's recently cropped up for me and got me thinking about things. So I'll cut to the chase. I've recently been enrolled in some group therapy after a few years of no meds/therapy/contact with mental health services. After the group I had a chat with the therapist running it and explained about the intense mood changes I'd been having etc. Anyway, she put me in touch with someone who gave me a phone assessment and the questions asked seemed to be the checklist for Borderline. She then said, "ah yes it sounds like Emotional Intensity". This is something I've never heard before in this context. I've heard of emotions being intense or emotional intensity as a symptom but she seemed to use it as a diagnostic term. I did some googling and discovered that Boderline is starting to be "rebranded" as EmOtional Intensity (here's one of the articles I found http://www.awp.nhs.uk/news-publications/trust-news/2016/march/raising-awareness-of-emotional-intensity-disorder/ ) I wondered, have you ever heard of this Emotional Intensity term being used and what are your thoughts on it? -TOLBY
  3. So about 3-4 days ago through today (when I got my period) I became increasingly angry. I would snap at everyone, act like an entitled brat (when I am not usually one), horrible anxiety, rage, crying, so many emotions all at once. It was awful. I almost got kicked out for my behavior. This is not usually me. It's the PMS. If anyone on here takes Birth Control or Progesterone or any kind of hormone assistance, please share your experience, the name of the product you are taking and if it has made an impact on the emotional aspects of your PMS. The period part is fine, my periods are light and easy to handle...the PMS - emotional side, not so much. Also, please don't recommend an AD because I am not allowed to take those. Thanks in advance!
  4. I used to be in a special ed class (For high schoolers with emotional issues like bipolar for instance) now we are both on independant study-but are planning to go back next year-and haven't seen each other since really early October. He is a year younger than me but honestly he's smarter than me so I don't notice haha. Well I thought I was gay/lesbian until Saturday. But we went to see the Great Gatsby Saturday He's just so... what I've been looking for. Anyways he said he wished he could find a girl as fun as me that was straight. That made me think "Does he like me?" And my mom has been saying "You know I think he has a little bit of a crush on you." So I used that as excuse to say "My mom says you like me. Be 100 percent honest with me. Is it true?" And he being the smart guy he is (Which I like about him) made it sound complicated and I couldn't tell if it was yes or no. So I asked "What does that mean lol" and he said "I mean if you wanted to date me I'd say yes." and then we talk in a "what if" way until i said "I want to date you." and well now we're dating!!! My last "relationship" I was 13 and we weren't really "dating" or anything so... Yea I think I'm bisexual and I am just so happy!!! We updated our facebook relationship status' and everything!!! I'm so excited!!! He's so sweet and kind and smart and understanding and funny. Whoo!!! I didn't want to put this in the relationship section because it says its for issues... this isn't an issue LOL
  5. Dali

    Color of Grey

    From the album: My Work

    A small portion of my Senior Exhibition.
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