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Hi everyone I'm an expat who moved abroad to live with my partner and I would describe my situation as "failure to thrive." I've had depression in the past as well as anxiety. I used eating disorders to cope for many years. I just started some treatment for my anxiety (beta blockers), but it's not yet touched my depression. There is a lot of self-loathing happening. I am homesick and not getting out much because I am unemployed (although I do volunteer and work on a casual basis). When I moved here a few years ago, I had just graduated with the top of my class, was freshly married, and things were looking up. However, I was so stressed from it all that I kind of collapsed into a depressed state. I had a few temp jobs and applied and applied for many jobs, but never did find anything permanent. It really crushed my confidence and now I let the fear of rejection and fear of being labeled a failure cripple my job search. I'm feel like I'm stuck in a whirlpool of being motivated for a job search, knowing that I'd be a great employee with even a modicum of support, and then a crash back to being paralyzed when I know I won't even get a chance. I'm fairly isolated and have only made a couple of friends here and I'm just sick my predicament. I'm hoping that I will find (and give back) the support here of like-minded individuals who are looking to affect positive change in their lives. Thanks for reading.