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  • Stuff That Makes You Feel Like Crap
    • Bipolar Spectrum Disorder - The Pole Dance
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  1. How much time do you spend online per day (specifically on Social media, texting, chat boards or forums)? Is the majority of your socializing online (or is it equal to in-person)? Are you "screen addicted"? With chronic dysthymia and anhedonia, I can't maintain enjoyment in hobbies or concentrate a lot on books. TV holds no interest. I've realized I have little desire to socialize in real life anymore....I just don't enjoy it and I avoid it. Feels like a hassle, I must psych myself up, get dressed, put on a smile, and all of it seems pointless. All people do now anyway is meet up for dinner & drinks (booze), take a few selfies and look at their screens half the time anyway. So I just scroll endlessly, observe the lives of others, skimming an article here & there (which I'll forget the content in 10 minutes) and passively scan through commentary - for HOURS. Pretty sad, but maybe this is normal nowadays? Seems like a waste of life.
  2. I feel really stupid to post this rant, but is it just me or does Facebook manage to make you increasingly depressed? Not only recently (crappy political stuff) but the real crazymaking for me is the lives of others, friends, acquaintances from over the years. I’m extremely sensitive and horribly envious of everything (Their families, newborns/kids, careers, house, exotic travel etc) Women have a baby and they get 500 Likes (many women credit breeding as the most outstanding achievement in life, with no thought for those couples who cannot)…they post a super-filtered Selfie and get 500 Likes….etc etc. FB breeds this contempt towards myself. People tell me to just quit or block ppl however, I’ve moved very far away and have literally no real contact (or attempts at contact) from people I know. ATM, I have no real friends. I’m afraid the tiny smidgen of connection (even if it is just Likes and Happy Birthday messages) will be obliterated and I’ll disappear into black vortex of nothingness …where I become even more invisible and alienated from modern life and humans. My life has shattered by deep depression & anxiety. I have absolutely no support. I'm approaching yet another Birthday and feel like I'm not hitting any of the desired milestones that other people are. I really try to be happy for old friends - but i just end up blaming myself for my misery, and the lack of a meaningful/happy life that i cannot seem to create no matter what I do. Even worse, the friends that constantly post trite Eckart Tolle quotes, blather or similar Wayne Dyer “Law of Attraction” type philosophies that everyone glorifies. (Dr. Dyer fancies himself a prophet, minister, or shaman. IMO, He offers nothing but sophomoric platitude, a $$ making scheme.) People do not realize how much victim-blaming & damaging these words do to people with trauma, disease, poverty, anyone with MI. He claims that everything you experience - “You are attracting to yourself” “Change your thoughts and simply change your life!!” I never intended to be mentally ill & fight thoughts of suicide frequently. I feel hurt. The statement that “Your attitude attracts everything that happens to you” That somehow, “being more grateful - you will manifest all the best things in life.” I struggle & TRY to buy into this crap, then feel like a failure because i cannot manifest anything that I dream about. What else can I do? This may sound juvenile, but I am really struggling/suffering from this problem and cannot get myself to Delete FB or block a bunch of people….is this some kind of obsession???
  3. I have been waiting to get this off of my chest for God only knows how long. When I was with a friend at home, we were looking at people's profiles on Facebook. We decided to look at one of my used-to-be friends from London and went on her profile to look at her pictures. Well for one reason or the other, my friend thought that she saw drugs in one of these girl's photos and automatically assumed that she was on drugs. Well, I believed her for whatever reason and we both decided to relay a message to her asking her if she was on drugs. Mind you, I haven't spoken to this girl in almost a decade! Of course, she responded angrily and I felt horrible, especially when something in the back of my head told me not to do it. Well, that does no conclude the story. I ended up apologizing to the girl and she seemingly accepted my apology. I actually was heading to London for a study abroad program, so I suggested that we hung out to catch up. She agreed, and we eventually did. She was her typical self, but it was cool to see her again. Not until my manic/depressive phase popped in. Well one thing led to another and I got mad at her over the course of the semester and sent her mean message on Facebook AGAIN. She obviously wasn't so pleased and this was after her mom helped me out and invited me to eat with her family at one point during my stay. She replied with a mean email, then I deleted her off of my Facebook. If this was not an irrational move, then I do not know what was. Years later, we're no longer friends and I'm still highly embarrassed. Oh, it gets better. Years later, a similar incident occurred where I sent an unwanted message on Facebook to some other girl. I went to school with this girl decades ago, like elementary school, middle school, a bit of high school and that was it. It turned out that her father was indicted for fraud and money laundering in which everyone immediately found out. I remember this pretty well, because at the time I unknowingly became very manic and hyper and felt really compelled to go around and give everyone life advice and to believe in the word of God so suddenly. I heard about what happened to my childhood friend's dad, went on Facebook and couldn't decide if I should send her an email of sympathy - in which I did anyway. I said, "Blessings to you and your family. Stay positive!" She ended up deleting me off of Facebook, mostly likely because 1) her business is not my own and 2) how rude! Months later, I can't believe I did that. All out of a manic episode. I even thought I was psychic (manic/psychotic episode) for a while and told a guy that I liked that he was going to fall in love with a girl just like me (oh, dear God) over a weekend at a bar and he ended up calling me an insane person. Great. I told my used-to-be best friend that she was always on drugs and long story short, told her that she needed God in her life and that angels did exist. She did do drugs, but her business was not my own (manic episode). WHAT the hell. I'm sure there were other ridiculous moments that I endured, but these, I really needed to get off of my chest. Bipolar created such a chain of embarrassing events and I don't know how I ever endured them. It just slaps such a hard memory on all of the things that you said and done! I don't talk to any of these people anymore, which I may be a good thing in the long run, but I can't get over the slash it put on my character! If anyone has endured anything similar, please share!
  4. Officials in the Manhattan district attorney’s office now say they need broad access to the Facebook account information of 381 people to root out Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) claim fraud. Jeff Stone reports in the International Business Times that prosecutors say they are looking at about 1,000 people who defrauded the federal government of about $400 million in SSDI benefits. Facebook has objected to the warrants, saying it believes that the government is charging only 62 of the users, and that the other users may never have a chance to challenge the warrants. Facebook fights SSDI case data call | Life Health Pro
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