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Here's the deal... I have never posted on this website but I am drunk as hell off a 6 dollar bottle of bourbon and trying to figure out what the hell to do with my life. I want to make the way my mind works work for me. I don't want to just take a bunch of lithium and seroquel and try to be a boring ass accountant. I'm not saying I'm super talented or anything, and I know I may fail, but if there's a chance it actually could then I want manic depression to actually work for me for once. I'm bipolar 1 by the way and I've been through the whole delusion thing (I thought women on the el train could read my mind, I thought the whole world was a science experiment created by higher beings to see how long it took for a version of me to form...) But after going from being some high IQ 19 year old sent to a fancy private college to make his uneducated yet lovable midwestern family proud to a 24 year old fuckup wandering the streets talking to himself at 5 am who steals liquor from grocery stores to sell to drug dealers for rent money I have realized I need to straighten things up and get my shit together But I want to do it in a way that's true to myself. I don't want to fight my nature every day. I want to embrace how I think while also functioning. I know this means medicine and all that jazz but am I an idiot to even dream of this? And I do take my medicine now btw and it works for the most part I guess... I'm writing a novel that might completely fucking blow but I think it could also be good. And I think being bipolar might be a reason I could make it good. Could any of you guys give me reason to believe that it's at least hypothetically possible to make bipolar work for you? I think we have advantages, us nutjob folk, and we should find strategies that employ them. Am I even writing coherently at this point? who cares. Just tell me things you love about being bipolar and how it gives you a jumpstart on the competition...
We got a call from the union that handles our insurance coverage, saying the company hasn't been paying their part of the premium... they can't cover the cost themselves anymore, as they have been for months in the hope that they could work it out. Sooo in the event that they don't work this out in a week or so, we are without insurance. I have been jumping through hoops with Medicaid to try to get us in it but apparently we are too rich. Yeah right. I sent them my paper filled out from the pdoc last month and it either got lost or they didn't figure that in. The healthcare.gov website kicked our application back to Medicaid so I have to resend everything again. *bangs head* This time they send a prescription form, which I had pdoc fill out as well. Maybe that will help my case. I have low cost med sites bookmarked just in case and I am squeezing in kid appts before the end of the month so we are all caught up with dentist and well checks. I am going to try to get as much of my meds filled as possible. Don't know what to do otherwise... ack.
Political correctness? Well, maybe it's just me. My currently non-medicated brain, or my insomnia WTF or even my very free/gypsy/rolling stone personality, I just not sure why political correctness sometimes just make me go "really?". Yeah, it can help in situations but sometimes it goes too far, to where you cant even voice a freedom of opinion without "offending the wrong person". But this thread isnt exactly about political anything. Instead, I dedicate this thread to the funny, sometimes offensive, shit people put out there. And it's not to piss people off, its just to make people say "WTF??" and laugh at the earth and the people in it. Here is some of what I found today on the internet... WARNING: some of these pictures, phrases and names WILL be offensive! source: http://www.businessadministration.org/blog/advertising-so-bad-it-s-funny-pics And in the past several days I was on the internet, and by FAR the most innapropriate name for a company would be a cmpany who sells doggie wheelchairs, and their catchphrase is "Life doesn't have to be a Drag for Handicapped Pets". And if you are ever feeling in a giddy mood, maybe perhaps youre as sleep deprived as I am, just check out Amazons Offensive list! You make em' we tag em!
Hi, my name is Steve (anenome), and I suffer from many many many things. Have all my life. Been there, done that. I've tried every shrink; psychotherapist; social worker; as well as every chatroom (most useless); every med...anti-psychotics; anti-depressants; mood stabilizers; uppers; downers; hypnotics; hallucinegentics; alcohol; sedatives; anti-anxieties;...you name it, and very few have worked. It has gotten to the point (and I just came across your site a couple days ago), that if this doesn't work...I'm fucked. At this point, I could use a few people who think they have alternatives (other than death), as well, the only thing keeping me going at this point is helping others...it helps me feel better about myself when I can help someone else. I have no ego, no nothing...in fact, I have hit a point of anhedonia that has even scared the last few shrinks I went to turn me down...literally. The last two I saw said my conditions are 'so acute', I am in need of a specialist...not a behavioral clinic or stress center etc. I'm talking donating my brain/body to science it's that bad. So, as you can see, I have absolutely no help...no friends, no relatives, no nothing to turn to (I'm on disability and medicaid, but medicaid is turning down...giving me a spend down next month Jan. 2012 that I cannot possibly meet, so I won't be able to afford even one or two of the 13 different meds I take daily...some several tmes a day. I'm fucked. So, talk to me please, I could use some good conversation, and should you have an option I haven't tried, tell me about it. If you need help and advice...please tell me...I'm a good listener and have MUCH experience with many things, and besides, it will give me a chance to take a break worrying about my situation. So please, I've been in total isolation/seclusion/agoraphobia for years and CANNOT just go outside and deal with people. This is going to have to be a major step-by-step process for me. Drop me a line if you are interested. My email is: [edited to remove private information - please send PMs] P.S. NO RELIGIOUS BIBLE-THUMPERS ALLOWED! NO PREACHING!! I'VE STUDIED THEOLOGY, PHILOSOPHY, ETC. ALL OF MY LIFE. YOU CANNOT CONVERT ME!!! I don't mind if you have your own beliefs that get you by, in fact, I would by intrigued by that. But don't push your ideas on me. That is all I ask. Thank you and hope to hear from you soon. Steve (anenome)