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I'm new. I'm not new to bipolar, but it keeps me on my toes. I have trouble sleeping when I should, at night, and I'm trying to work out new meds with my psychiatrist to help me sleep. I drank too much until recently (8 mos.) and now I'm working to drink only infrequently. I'm having more success than I've had in the last eleven years. I chew tobacco and am working on quitting. It'll be the patch for me. I've tried cold turkey, and it's no fun and I can't do it. I start a lot of sentences with "I" when I'm having to write but am not at my best. Sorry. Make my sentences more interesting I will, hmm?! After getting a decent start on college, I decided to major in astronomy/astrophysics.Then chemical engineering. Bam. Hospital after a year of treatment. Back to school. Tried to run 25 miles in the middle of the night without shoes on. Zot. Hospital again. Attacked by a psychopath with a knife. Slice. Hospital. The evil bastard is out there somewhere if he isn't already dead. Computers seemed to be a practical path so when I went back to school I chose that. I hate computers I only know one other person who is bipolar -- that I know of. I don't know what to expect from this board, but I've never had a friend to discuss this with, although I've told a few a little about what I've been through. I'm fascinated by the phenomenology (why not use the biggest word I can think of?) of psychosis, as I've been dxed with bipolar with psychotic features (very fun and exciting sometimes). Long story short, I did not pass muster with the secret-agent people. I was disappointed. Telling the difference between MI-induced changes in personality and the natural changes of leaving adolescence and approaching middle age is something I'm having trouble doing. How early was a affected by mental illness? What about me is me and what is bd-altered me? (I'm myself either way, but I still wonder.) I go to see a person on campus weekly. She's great, the kind of person who makes me want to become a therapist (too late for that, but my roommate and wife think I'm being a naysayer -- I wouldn't like it anyway, probably). I hope everyone here has found good help or finds it soon.