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Found 19 results

  1. My mom died recently. She was young; I am still in my twenties and she was in her fifties. She was my best friend. There's a quote or something (or I possibly made it up, who knows) about how when someone dies, for the rest of your life they will only be further away. I can't deal with that. She was my best friend. And she died so painfully, so horribly, so needlessly. I am beginning to cry a little writing this. Sometimes I feel like sleepwalking. Sometimes I think I'll hear her voice and I'll look up and she'll still be there. But she never is. She was gentle, beautiful,
  2. Perceiving value in your life is not a thought form of perception (awareness) at all. Rather, it is an emotional awareness. In other words, our emotions do not have some sort of mind control effect on us where they force us to perceive, through our thinking, our lives being good or bad to us. It is purely the emotions themselves that allow us to see values in our lives. Emotions are actually a sense like sight. They allow us to see the values that things and situations hold in our lives. It is only our positive emotions that allow us to see the positive qualities of life (i.e. the good values)
  3. My partner died 3 months ago of a heroin overdose. It was extremely traumatic, as you can imagine. He is not my first partner to pass away in this manner. He and I unfortunately only got to be together for 3 months and it was unlike any relationship I had ever had. I let my guards down and allowed myself to be loved and I truly loved him. Our relationship was amazing until he relapsed. It was recognized to me by many people after he died that our relationship was very unique and that not many people get to have something like that ever. He was my soul mate. I was with a man for 5 years and nev
  4. Hello, This is my first post on this board. I was diagnosed and treated for bipolar 1 from 2002-2015. Last year I went off medication, and have been med free since Oct 2015. I went off because I believed the medication was hurting me more than helping and making me sicker. I felt I had nothing to lose. As a result, I regained mental clarity but had one long mania cycle and I am now in a very depressed cycle which is difficult to.endure. I am very depressed from stress but mostly from the fact that I now see clearly how my bipolar has wrecked havoc in my life. I am seeing it clea
  5. Hello. I was evicted on Monday morning, meaning on Sunday night, I had to get as much stuff as my friend could get into her car and leave home. I had to leave 90+% of my belongings behind including 99% of my books. It took me 15 years to collect those books. They were all hard cover because I had always planned on having a library in my home to put them in someday. Ever since I had to leave them behind, I have experienced profound sadness and grief when I think about them. I miss them so much and want them back. I am angry that they are lost forever. I recently lost my dad. He died 3
  6. Depression (including anhedonia which is an absence of pleasure) are, in a way, sort of like the flu. It comes and goes. You first get sick. But over time, the mind and body heal themselves and you are back to being completely well. This is because it is vital to get back to the state of your full normal well-being. Otherwise, your chances of survival (thriving in life) are slim. So it is vital that your mind and body restore its survival mechanisms. This would even include pleasure since pleasure is something vital for our thriving and survival in life. Far more people feel depressed having a
  7. For starters, I'm in my mid-twenties, and my general issues are with anxiety and OCD, but right now, I'm struggling with something else. I am feeling majorly depressed. And I need help. I am very close with my grandparents. We live in the same city and I try to see them as often as I can. Over the last couple of weeks, my Grandma, who is generally fairly healthy, started feeling very tired and weak all the time. She has only been getting out of bed for a couple of hours out of the day. This week, we found out that she is in stage 4 cancer, and it is apparently too late for treatment. I don
  8. My happiness is the only reason for me finding good meaning about me as a person and finding good meaning in this life. Without that, there would be nothing good about me as a person or anything good in my life. I can just use my thoughts alone to perceive me and my life being good even without my pleasure. But these are nothing more than neutral (neither good or bad) thoughts and that would not make me or my life anything good at all regardless of how much I help others and do great things in my life. Therefore, since I no longer have any pleasure 24/7 due to my anhedonia (emotional numbn
  9. hi, im a 12 year old boy from Ireland and I don't know why I think about it but I keep thinking about my mam or dad dying and I just randomly cry and I try to not show it to them. In my dreams I have dreams and I wake up so scared and I always have to go check.. does anyone know what I can do! im so scared
  10. You sit in the shadow of sorrow seeking, searching for the magic that will make the pain go away Weep what you must weep, not only for this loss,but for all other losses you have sustained in this life Surrender into the memory of what once was, and can no longer be This winter of your life will pass, as all seasons do Stay in your season of winterness as long as need be, for everything you feel is appropriate There is no right way to grieve - there is just Your way It will take as long as it takes It is important to be ever so gentle, kind, loving and giving to yourself right now
  11. Is it selfish of me to self-grieve? I found out a few years ago I suffered a congenital lung disorder (restrictive lung disease/RLD, where your lungs are restricted from the outside from expanding to proper capacity whilst breathing). RLD eventually causes excessive pressure in the arteries leading to the lungs, as your body is starving for oxygen due to insufficient lung volume. The excessive pressure is known as pulmonary hypertension and is dramatically life-shortening. My doctors, at the time, said 20-30 years more and that was it. I was sort of glad to hear that, since 20-30 more
  12. How on earth does one on the spectrum manage the feelings of sadness/stress/fear for an ill loved one while another healthy grief stricken family member demands help and attention? My grama is very ill, and my mom is reasonably quite upset, but unreasonably sending me very very frightening and alarmist messages to drop my entire day and plans and life because she's practically dead- oh, wait, we're going for lunch. Or- oh, wait, she just really needs fluids but she'll probably be okay. I've talked with her about it, but I doubt she really gets it at all or why it isn't okay to do that.
  13. Hi there! I'm working on my first essay for this term (yay), and I thought I'd ask your opinion on this topic. I have my research, notes, and my own ideas. But, I really value the ideas and opinions of others. So... My essay is to discuss this statement: For many people, death is a taboo subject in spite of the fact that it is of universal concern. I have to discuss a few points, but I would really like your honest opinion on Why is death treated as taboo? How might treating death as taboo affect the dying person and the grieving person? Fire away!
  14. this post is about supporting my daughter rather than myself, so i hope it's still appropriate to ask questions. my daughter is 21 and has had three significant relationships with boys in her life thus far (i say boys because to me they aren't quite men yet). boy #2 hung himself just over a year ago. she was devastated. she still looks at his pictures, and has his name tatoooed on her forearm so that she'll never forget him. boy #1 hung himself a few weeks ago. he was the single most important person in her life, even though they've been broken up for about two years. they stil
  15. I just have no motivation right now. Since one of my best friends died on Saturday I've just given up. I've just sat myself on the sofa, and not moved. I just don't know what the hell to do with myself, I don't want to go out, people have offered to come see me; I don't want to see anyone. Has any one got any tips? Any ways they've picked themselves up?
  16. Today at 3 a.m. I found out that one of my best friends, also my ex-girlfriend, had passed away of an accidental drug overdose. I've been crying all day but it's still not real, I'm expecting someone to tell me that it's just a fucked up joke and they were lying. That she's not dead. I always loved her and I always will, you never really stop loving someone. She had MI and I knew since I first met her there was a possibility that this could happen, MI and addictions don't go well together. I wanted to see her succeed, and you know, be adults together (we're 21.) The worst part is, we were m
  17. Here I am, Cookiekins, a level 73 gnomish warlock....Oh. wait. That was years ago. This is my life now. I am a 50 something, widow. My last kid moved out, took one of the dogs to keep her company. I found out my late husband, in a state of dementia used all the money we had set aside to take care of me after he died to try to save his business, because he forgot how to bill his clients, and he didn't want anyone to know. His family pretty much told me Sayonara after the funeral, much to my shock. My parents paid for the funeral, because my very wealthy father in law couldn't spare the cash.
  18. Well. I screwed up. I've been struggling with the self injury for years but most acutely for the past several weeks.I used to do it because of really intense feelings but now I find myself doing it because I don't feel anything. Just got back from the E.R. Thank God the staff there were familiar with S.I. They were very understanding and not demeaning at all. I denied suicidal intentions so they didn't even make me go through an evaluation for possible hospitalization. I was in and out in 35 minutes which I thought was pretty impressive. The thing is, when I denied being suicidal, I was l
  19. Hi all, I've been checking out this forum for the past couple of days so I thought I'd join to be able to interact. I'm 26 years old and live in the greater NYC area. I was recently diagnosed with major depression with psychosis. I think the trigger was the passing of my dad after a painful battle with prostate cancer at the end of September. It's been a tough road, but I have a loving family and boyfriend who keep me going. I've really gotten a lot out of reading the posts on everyone's experiences here, so just wanted to say a big thanks for that! Best of luck to everyone here.
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