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  1. My apologies for the long post, I'll try to keep it as brief as possible. As the title says, I'm just picometers away from checking myself into a psych ward. I have shit going on in my life with my family that I'm just about done with trying to care about and mange. We have a live-in "stray" we picked up who is a mooch, a biggot, a homophobe (I'm gay), an a real class A ass hole. My friend and I and him got into a shouting match last night and he almost got violent with us. Of course, my mom, who is infatuated with him (and if I didn't know any better, is having an affair with him), hardl
  2. so I have sadi this before but i have had many many mnay hallucinations over my whole life time they have been there since i can think such as this thing i used to see when i was 4-7 years old they have gotten more intense over the years there on and off they can last for months or weeks (longest being 6months) and im starting to question things like i thought i saw dead people or did i hallucinate them and its only starting to happening but its hard to explain anything and i feel so numb and i cant access my thoughts can someone please give me reasons why i could be hvaing these hallucination
  3. hey im 14yrs old and I have been doing quite a lot of research into some things I am experiencing and im just not sure if im getting anywhere and would like others opinion also I am sorry this is so long. so cutting down to the point, It was only recently that I moved into my new house (we lived in our old one for 7 years) and I started to hallucinate things (we have been in this house for about six weeks) now it wasn't the first time I have had hallucinations but I thought I should look into it. ive been having hallucinations every since I was young (like 4+) when I was rea
  4. Hey all. I've been doing relatively well recently and haven't had any hallucinations for a couple months now. But last night when I was dreaming (after I had already fallen asleep), I started to hear a loud voice giving commentary over what I was doing. This scared the hell out of me, especially given that I usually have transient hallucinations rather than sustained voices. By the time I woke up, it had gone away. Has this happened to anyone else?
  5. Earlier tonight I was on computer and I thought I heard music. Everypne was asleep and all but 2 of our kids were gone. I ignored ot and went back to playing. The music persisted. I could hear the voice but couldnt make our the words. I could almost hear the instrument but I wasnt sure but might have been a guitar. Sounded like 80s rock. I looked all over the house tryong to find something to explain it and came up empty. So I went to bed. I woke up about an hour later and once again I heard a mans voice but couldnt hear the words. His tone was like that of a hellfire and brimst
  6. Hello, Im new here I have bipolar 1 and I believe I have had it since I was a child. My mental health medical history is way to long for me to write it down here now, but To make it short I have been diagnosed with a few different disorders and diseases for over a long period of time , but now the doctors finally agree that I have bipolar type 1. And I didnt start telling my doctors about my hallucinations until recently because I was so ashamed and also because I believed they where all true. I have had hallucinations since I was a child and they where always very terrifying. I have had
  7. I am 37 years old. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was 18 than bipolar at 21. For years I have thought I heard my phone ring when it hasn't my name said when it wasn't etc. All of which they said was anxiety not psychosis. With in the last few months I have begun to have visual hallucinations. Most I had decided were related to being severely anxious. Little things like seeing things out of the corner of my eyes. Being very jumpy. I recently had two undeniable visual hallucinations. Very scary. Is it normal at my age to start having these now? Is it psychosis? Schizophrenia?
  8. My auditory hallucinations are too persistent for me to focus in school anymore. I am taking a medical withdrawal. I am on Disability so I guess I will be for the rest of my life... sigh...
  9. Before I get into the neurological symptoms, let me give you a synopsis of my background and family history. Both my parents smoke and my dad was always a heavy drinker. My mom had GERD / Acid Reflux pretty much her whole life and it should be noted that she's basically 100% Norwegian (I've read that Northern Europeans have GERD and gastrointestinal issues more than anyone else - same with the Irish). My mom was also recently tested positive for Celiac Disease (our diets growing up was filled with wheat products, so connecting the dots here, I think she was being bombarded with gluten and her
  10. Last night and this morning I was terrorized by literally hundreds and hundreds of hallucinations, auditory, visual, and tactile (and combinations). The last two are New developments for me. My auditory hallucinations are generally very loud and startling, and last night was no different. Music, voices, noises, crashes, screams, crying, laughing (and remember these are all very loud), and then coupled with visual and tactile hallucinations makes for an incredibly terrifying combination. I was being attacked by animals, by the police on loudspeaker telling me to surrender with blaring
  11. One common pattern I have noticed around here is that people tend to have auditory hallucinations more than any other sort of hallucination. Yet this seems odd to me personally, because the only sort of auditory hallucination I have ever gotten is little innocuous noises due to hypnagogia, and my hallucinations overall are otherwise solely visual, be they staticky, flickery, ripply stuff or moving white coffee-stain-like splotches and waves of yellow color in (somewhat) low light. So has anyone else here had primarily visual hallucinations, as opposed to primarily auditory ones?
  12. For the longest time I thought the only auditory hallucinations I have been gotten was the little noises I have heard while falling asleep or waking up. However, one thing I have noticed is a tendency to hear speech as scrambled and unintelligible even though whomever I am talking with is speaking plenty loud. This happened when talking with my pdoc yesterday, and so I brought it up. She thinks this is a form of auditory hallucination, even though I am not hearing anything being added to what I hear at all, even though from what I had read this is not a positive symptom. So I am not sure what
  13. Since going on 50 mg of quetiapine I have been getting visual hallucinations. They essentially look like a constant static, a constant flicker, constant rapidly moving transparent lines, or looking through the open doors of a supermarket on a cold winter day, encompassing my entire visual field. I used to see these same hallucinations before I went on risperidone a long time ago, in any mood. Now that I am at 100 mg of quetiapine they are more pronounced (e.g. I now see this in my computer screen where I did not at 50 mg), and I assume that they will become even more pronounced with subse
  14. I am on 400 mg Seroquel at night to sleep and as an adjunct for treatment resistant depression and bipolar II. At this dose it works well for insomnia and I have not had a bipolar episode for 7 years. However, I do have auditory hallucinations. It seems as if a radio is on in another room that I can just barely hear. Or as if people are having a conversation I can't make out. I have a PhD in Clinical Psychology and an MD in Emergency Medicine. These hallucinations are not disturbing because I fully know they are a side effect of the medication. I actually try to make out the words or the
  15. I was in san Bernardino awhile back w my boyfriend. And i just remember these noises at night throughout the city. Stuff like roaring/hissing, dogs barking, alarms, other stuff, but it sounded like it was being played on a SPEAKER. & the sounds were always the SAME so it wasnt very "lifelike" like the rawring wasnt frightening bc it was like prerecorded as well as other stuff. That place was crazy. We both were hearing this stuff at least describing the same thing, so wtf? Looking back it seems far fetched that the city would just "play sounds" over multiple speakers, i mean, for what reas
  16. So, you may have read my post about Deep TMS and how it saved my life. Unfortunately, my feelings were short lived. My last treatment was Wednesday 4\27\2016. As soon as I tapered down to one treatment a week, I was sent into a depressive fog. I became suicidial, depressed, isolative, and started to self injure. My treatment team is very aware and I live in a boarding home so I am pretty safe. I am on suicidial checks and also just hang out in the community. I, still am on the end of my rope. So, next step: ECT. I hope it works. Peace.
  17. this will not be a short post. i thought that I had everything sorted. I honestly believed that I had these answers and they were correct and I wouldn't have to worry about anything else. how naive am I! here is the rundown of my known issues. major depression, generalized and social anxiety, paranoia, and panic attacks. nothing has been officially established about my paranoia, but it's been getting worse. all of my symptoms have, since I left home. I'm currently on welbutrine (150mg), and amnytriptyline for sleep. I also smoke marijuana, which I've done regularly for over two years (I rea
  18. So hi, I guess :I My name is The Squid Kid. It's not my real name, just on here. My real name is Henry and I'm 17, and my name my voices gave me is 12. So I hear voices. Some days are good, some voices are good too. But I feel like I've been lapsing out of reality into a world of nightmares I was admitted for a week because I couldn't get a psychiatrist, I built a tower in my backyard, and I tried to stab my mom. Usually I can know if my voices are telling me to do something bad, and I can restrain myself. BUT THAT TIME I COULDN'T D: I now am diagnosed with Psychosis NOS and I think
  19. I haven't slept for 4 days and I'm wondering what would happen if I keep going on like this. I started taking sleeping pills yesterday but they don't seem to work. I'm kinda losing it and seeing and hearing things that aren't there probably because of tiredness and it's kinda why I can't sleep too now... What would happen if I keep going on like this, I just can't switch off..
  20. I've been losing my mind lately and believing a dead person (or ghost...not sure yet what they are yet) is following me and talking to me. She told me to get a oujja board so I can try to communicate to her. I've been losing my mind lately, can't sleep very well, struggling to concentrate at college. I've been going out really late at night when the voices get too loud and I've been into a fight with a drunk, I got irritated because he called a 'puff' which is not true and I wonder why I got irritated. I am really happy at the moment but I don't think I am manic. That's what my key worker said
  21. So I don't hallucinate according to my psychiatrist, and I haven't had any psychosis for almost 2 years now. The only psychosis I had was during a severe anti-depressant-fostered manic episode, and even then, I didn't hear voices. However, now, I've been feeling particularily depressed, but with high levels of energy, irritability, and anxiety. I started getting periods of even more severe anxiety than usual (which is usually very severe) which last anywhere from 10 minutes to 1 hour, and during these periods I get intrusive thoughts - which are my thoughts, and I can't hear them out loud.
  22. yeah I do wonder what is going on with me, I just got kicked from chat for saying my dleusion in response to someone talking about liking grandeur delusions...so the archangels built a monument for me for my gettinng to familiarise myself with their part of the universe, they also introduced me to my astral lover on a different part of the universe....not going so strong now since I got switched to orals and am not taking them except using rauwolfia to clam down the excess of dopamine receptors from my time adapting to the various antipscyhotic I been on for the majority of the time for almost
  23. My name is Allison or Alliy but I might not remember that tomorrow. I am 22 years old almost 23 and am a housewife who stumbles through mental illness one confusing, chaotic, messy day at a time. I have been diagnosed correctly after years of medications and doctors who would rather write me a script that listen to my distorted mumblings but that is beside the point. I was finally diagnosed as Major Depression Disorder with Psychosis which only happened after a minor nervous breakdown and a stint in a hospital. I was released yesterday after 6 days and 1 spent in the er trying to get a bed f
  24. I've been having a lot of auditory hallucinations before I go to sleep. I've never noticed them much before, but within the last few months I haven't been able to go to sleep before one or two in the morning because of these random voices that jolt me back to reality. I know that they are inside my head; yet, I can tell that they're echoing from a hallway, or spoken to the right of me. Typically, they're people I don't know talking about really random stuff -- sometimes, that stuff is just weird associations (my sister says "idolatries" a few moments later she says "toilet paper", obvs my mi
  25. Greetings, I've been lurking for a bit and decided to step out of the shadows to introduce myself. I suffer from schizoaffective disorder - bipolar, PTSD and I have issues with substance abuse (which I'm actively fighting). I've lived with mental illness for most of my life and by my age (early 40s), I've learned to cope much better than I ever did and if there was hope for me, there is hope for anyone. The bipolar symptoms are under control but my psychotic symptoms are not. I have been to the pdoc recently for a med adjustment because of this. The angel of death walks nine steps behin
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