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Hello good people First post on CrazyBoards and I apologize if this isn't in the right section. I'm a 37yr old male, single and financially stable. However since the last few years, my emotional health seems to be on a steady decline and has now reached a stage which is starting to freak me out. I don't have a traumatic past per se (in terms of physical or mental abuse), even though I had a spell of extremely stressful months 4 yrs ago when my dad passed away after a long drawn battle with bacterial meningitis. I don't know if that is a part of the problem but I'm yet to come to terms with it. I have always been a happy go lucky kinda guy. I still try to be jovial around friends but I believe that's just a defense mechanism, subconsciously I perhaps don't want them to sense that something might be wrong with me and so I end up talking more than I should just to cover up. Again this isn't intentional, but something I can't control either. Apart from this, I have insomnia and am always agitated. I smile but I'm not happy, neither sad. It just that nothing affects me anymore. I keep myself away from people and friends because I don't want to pass on the misery to them and secondly, I fear that I might say something that would end up hurting them. I flip out at the slightest of provocation. I work from home so technically I don't have to go to work but still this is affecting my work. I don't even feel like talking to anyone for the same reasons I don't want to meet friends. I'm starting to really hate myself for being this way. Nothing makes me happy anymore. Honestly, I don't even know why I'm writing all this, maybe I just needed to vent anonymously without having the fear of being judged. Thanks for reading my rant and I apologize if this pisses off your mood in any way.

I like seeing funny pictures and memes and I also like to post stories that make me slap my knee they are soo funny . Life is effing weird.. let's hear what makes you laugh. These pics made me laugh today

so I am diagnosed with recurrent major depression and this has been going on for about 3 years. Recently I have had some mood changes which are unusual to me after coming out of a depressive episode.... I have been staying up until 6am and consistently running on 3 hours of sleep. I have been highly energetic and productive, I cleaned the house today because I felt like it and I have studied for my A Levels several topics ahead of where we are in class. I got kinda impulsive too, the other day while I was out with my friend I suddenly decided out of nowhere to get some facial piercings even though I applied for several jobs in catering and retail recently which probably prohibit piercings.... I have been reading about hypomania but I still can't tell if my state is hypomanic or if I am just extremely happy. If anybody has had similar experiences to me, it would really help me figure out where to go from here if you could share. Thanks in advance x

I'm making a happy playlist & I need some song suggestions? Any songs that make you happy or get you through tough times

For me it would definitely be Monty Python's Life Of Brian, it shows another take on life, in the end

I feel good and safe and sane tonight. I worked 14 hours yesterday this morning, and I got some sleep when I came home. It's hot as anything here, but the sleep and a good shower really helped. I'm getting my tax situation straightened out too- I sent in my first tax form out of the six I need to finish. I do have to re-up my meds this week, which means trying to get in to see my p-doc, and I think I don't mesh well with my therapist, so I might have to ask for another one. But right now I'm managing. The reason I'm writing this is not because I think I'm special or that my experience is so singular. It's because so many posts here are about pain, and trying to stay stable, and dealing with flawed health care systems, and being let down by other people or by our wonky brains. I think that sometimes it's good just to read that someone is doing ok and actually feeling happy.