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So I’ve recently had my heart broken by someone I thougth was the love of my life. The way he ended the relationship was disrespectful, disregarding our years together and just overal shattered my heart into a million pieces. The first two weeks I was going on fine, I kept myself busy, I was barely home and I didn’t give myself the time to even think about it. It has been in the last week that it has really hit me. How much I invested into the relationship, only to find out that I was the only one. How much love I still have and have had for this man, only to find out that he didn’t feel the same. How many years I’ve spent building something together, memories, a life, only to be all taken away in a second. I think what hurts the most, is the when I realized how easily he ended things. Withouth remorse, without so much as a blink of an eye. That really made me realize how little I ment to him. And that’s what hurts the most. Someone being your whole world, and you not being even a speck of theirs. How could I not see it all along? My friend told me, that it’s because I really did and still do love him. I couldn’t see that he was not as invested as I was. She didn’t see it either. How do you guys deal with heartbreak? I haven’t been able to eat, sleep or think straight since it happend. And the urges of a relapse are really really strong. I’ve already relapsed in my eating, I don’t want to do it in SI too. What is something that helped you through a rough breakup? When you feel really worthless, unimportant and just broken?

It's originally here though I'll add the short part where i spoke about crazy boards and where I had linked back to this fascinating site. "Do you know that in my search to find like minded people who actually ‘get’ my words…I came across a forum called crazyboards. This forum basically represents normal people going through life who have been ‘Diagnosed’ with different ‘syndromes and illnesses’ based on how they feel/think and how they deal with their emotions. They have genuinely authentic symptoms; both mental and physical and some are on different medications. Now that’s fine, the point I’m trying to make here is that when you go through life being absolutely ‘honest’ with how you feel/are, you end up being ‘categorised’. Whether intentionally or unintentionally. When I read their comments, they sound like ‘normal’ people to me, because guess what, they ARE! I felt like the odd one out on the board because I’m not on meds nor have I seen a physiatrist. Yet their ‘dialogues’ and ‘emotions’ were more ‘real’ and made more ‘sense’ to me them more than half the people I sometimes meet in a week! Simply because they’re being ‘genuine’ about who they are and what they feel. Even though have been ‘set aside’ (in a sense) to be so. So yes. In a judgmental society I Do feel sh*t scared about displaying my (acceptable) inner thoughts and feelings." Hope you liked the excerpt x