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I’ve just hit menopause and started a very low dose of bc pill. I can only find mood fluctuations in side effects, not anxiety. Anyone else have issues with hrt?
hi all, i'm new to this forum. i'm not sure where to post what i'm about to type so i thought here would be best, if not i apologise. i'll also try to explain as thoroughly and as coherently as i possibly can, i haven't gained a GCSE in English so forgive me for mistakes in spelling, grammar, punctuation, the way i construct my sentences etc etc... i'd like to point out a TRIGGER WARNING for those that are SENSITIVE to SUICIDE so, don't read this if you are. also, this is a long post so if you aren't interested in someone waffling on, y'know TL;DR (too long; didn't read), all that nonsense, this post may not be for you. with that being said, i'd like to get some advice, opinions or thoughts on my situation from anyone that care enough to read this. - i'm a 25 year old MTF pre-HRT transgender woman that wishes to start HRT and transition into the woman that i feel that i am. i currently live with my family in our family house/home and i want to move out, but i don't have any money or a job. my relationship with all of my family members is strained, the extent of our interaction/communication involves saying a 'hello' or 'morning, how are you?' 'i'm fine/good/doing well/alright etc etc and that's it. i don't have any friends/people that i hang out/go out with or speak to and find it incredible difficult to go out and socialise with others because i have issues with my hearing, which makes things extremely difficult and awkward whenever someone is speaking to me because i always struggle to understand the exact words people are saying to me so, in an effort to not embarrass myself or those that speak to me, i tend to not put myself in position where extended conversation may take place and my life is pathetic, i have nothing of great interest to discuss with anyone, i feel that anybody that i speak to will most likely have friends of their own and a busy life with varied things going on for them. so, for them to speak to me is like, what's the point. i have (undiagnosed) clinical depression and have constant anxiety all the time, everyday because of the aforementioned issues/predicaments. my life is worthless, essentially and the ONLY reason why i haven't ended my life yet is because in these past few months i have been getting counselling and i am due to see a GP about starting HRT, near the end of this month. i feel like i am so close to actually getting the hormones and for whatever reason, should i be denied or refused hormones, i honestly see no point in continuing to be alive. i'd also like to mention that i am fully aware that taking hormones isn't going to fix all of the issues that i have in my life, making it all sunshine and roses, i am aware of that, however i do feel that once i am able to start HRT it could make me feel a bit better about myself and may improve my attitude in general. now, i hope that this post doesn't come across as somebody seeking attention and that everyone should feel pityful, telling me everything is going to be alright etc etc... i genuinely am interested to hear what anyone has to say about what i've said and can offer any advice on what i could do to improve myself if i could say anything that is positive or plans that i have lined up in these upcoming days/weeks is that i have recently been seeing a (or an) career advisor to get some ideas on training courses i could enrol onto (i've never known what i'd like to be doing for a living from a young age & still not 100% sure) and i'll also be trying to arrange an JSA interview. are there any claimants out there that know if i'll be eligible or not to claim the JSA, because i have no personal income or my own. however, i do actually want to be working and earning a living somehow. so, yeah that's it. i will be looking out for any replies that anyone might have. thanks to those who, once again, cared enough to read. (i already feel full of regret for even posting this but i've took the time to write all of this nonsense out so i might as well post and see what comes of it.)
May be triggers? Read at your own risk. ... I've had this window sitting in front of me for like 9 10 hours, without knowing what to write, but knowing that I want to write something. Thursday morning I meet with a medical doctor to have a consultation about beginning HRT. The discussion, at least at first, is going to be about doing a "trial"; Going on HRT for 30 or 60 days and seeing how I feel about it. Whether it makes me feel any better about myself, or not. I've seen this suggested by many people, but I've never been able to find any documentation about its medical recommendation. Right now, I theoretically identify as male. I say this because if I'd known what options were available to me, I would have transitioned at a very early age. Even though I have surrounded myself with LGBT people for more than 20 years, transition was something I had never even considered until recently. Mainly because I've never had what I thought of as classic dysphoria. While I've always wished I'd been born a cis-woman, with all accompanying bits, I've never had a *problem* with the parts that I do have. I've never wanted to remove anything. But I've always been a girl, even though right now I look like an overweight, bearded man. I associate with girls. I have always chosen to be the girl, in imaginary scenes as a child, to video games... especially in role-playing games. The online name that everyone has associated with me for more than 20 years is female. I don't know what I feel. I don't know what I truly want. I'm afraid of staying as I am, and I'm afraid of changing. I'm afraid of the ridicule, harrassment... I'm afraid I'll never look anything like I could have if I'd started young. I know I won't. It's not possible. I afraid to be "that freak," because I'm afraid I'll never come anything anywhere near "passing." I'm afraid of coming out. Of everything that you have to go through in transition. Coming out bisexual was easy. I accepted it in myself, I said it and it was done. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I've lost my way. I've lost the only person in the world that I want to have with me. I'm not sure I have the strength or courage that this will all require, especially since I don't know if it will make me feel any more "me"...