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Can I ask how does weed affect you? And if you'd say what "disorder(s)" you deal with? Just wondering, it seems too have different affects on different people.. Wonder if it's got something to do with how you're already wired. Personally,. PLEASE INPUT?
I have a few times heard people wrong. Like really wrong. They are real people and definitely talking and I hear them as them..I said "why don't you just leave him alone get out of here" when apparently they were NOT fighting and were very happy. I heard a full blown argument etc. This has happened other times I just wondered if it was common or had a name I usually don't react
So, lately, I’ve been feeling really off. I feel disconnected from the world, I do things without thinking and I can’t concentrate. I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m only 13 so I know most people are going to say “its just puberty related”, but it doesn’t feel like it. I self-diagnosed myself with depression and anxiety about a year ago (by researching symptoms and comparing them to how I felt). I know depression and anxiety are common at my age so I don’t really worry that much about them, except when it gets really bad. I self harmed for a while then quit because I saw no point in hurting myself when it didn’t even help me, but lately I’ve started again. And I don’t really know the reason, but while I’m doing it, I know it makes me feel happy to see what I’ve done to myself even if after I know I’ll regret it. It started at the beginning of the school year. At first I was just really giddy and my thoughts were everywhere, my behavior confused me though. But I thought maybe it was just the excitement of seeing my friends again and the nervousness that this was my last year before high school, but the weirdness continued. A while later I began to have very violent thoughts-some towards myself, some towards others. That really terrified me. My brain started to feel really murky and I would always drift off into trances. I can barely concentrate on anything now, conversations are short and I’m very easily angered and offended. My hands are almost always cold and my whole body is often very shaky. I react to things the opposite of how I should most of the time, like for example, when I get yelled at I find it funny and I often laugh or smile. I’m always tired. At night it’s the worst. I always feel like there’s something watching me from the shadows, observing me and laughing at me. I have to distract myself from my thoughts to sleep, so I watch YouTube or read mostly, until I feel like I can sleep. But even then I find myself thinking strange things. When I wake up, I always feel like I didn’t get enough sleep even though I know I have. I always feel dizzy and sometimes it almost feels like I’m dreaming, but I know I’m not. I get these weird pains all over my body. I get headaches and I never really feel like doing necessary things (eating, getting up in the morning, going to school, etc.). In fact, my efforts in school have dropped drastically. I used to strive to get good marks and rush to get my homework done on time, but now I just don’t care. I haven’t really told anyone yet because I just don’t feel comfortable but I know I need help. I find myself having conversations with the air and myself without realizing what I’m doing. I just feel really, well, crazy. Now, most of this just sounds like depression, right? But I just don’t know. I feel like I’m going insane. I told myself to give it another week to talk to someone. I just don’t feel like myself. I feel like I’m in a different world most of the time. Even now, while I’m writing this, I feel like I’m drifting. Anyway, I’m just posting this in case anyone is going through the same thing and/or knows what’s happening.
Hey! I am here to eat your heart... Okay not really,, but I'm new and my current diagnoses are Bipolar (their wrong,) Depression NOS (Major Depression,) and Anxiety.... My current Rx is Wellbutrin SR 100mg (needs to go up) and Lorazapam .5mg. SO I am here to learn more and be a part of a community of crazies like me I guess. PS: I also like cats! =)