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Showing results for tags 'insane'.
How am I supposed to feel when I'm labeled crazy or not normal? A confident told me I'm not normal. Naturally at first I felt defiant, nah that ain't me. But when it hits and you start to believe it, loneliness becomes reality. Invisble barriers start to form. A pinge of panic sets in. Obviously you can't share crazy with just anyone, it has to be another self-identified crazy person. And that same person that called you crazy gives you support then takes it away suddenly to see if your marriage will fail because you are crazy and your normal husband cant handle/help you. I dont know where I'm getting with this. I felt hurt. Anyone want/need to rant about being labeled insane? What is your story?
I'm totally and completely new here, and have no idea really what I'm doing, but I felt the need to just GET MY THOUGHTS OUT OF MY HEAD. I feel like they're circling around in my brain, slowly chipping away at my sanity. Am I okay? WTF is going on?? I just feel like I'm going freaking crazy! Half of the day, I lay around on my floor (no joke) and either watch TV or go online, feeling like a lazy depressed slob, the other half of the day I feel agitated and the need to move around, clean, organize shit, etc. I've been seeing my psychiatrist 2x a week for the past several weeks (started with an every day meeting while I was inpatient for non-psych related medical issues). Currently he's out of the office for a week and a half...that's two visits that I'm missing, and I feel like I'm going to EXPLODE...or implode. I constantly feel like I need to punch/throw things (though I don't, because I feel guilty about feeling that way)...I should probably mention that I've been dx-ed with MDD, with aspects of GAD/OCD, which I suppose is true (I have a bit of a problem with psychiatric hypochondria, if there is such a thing). I feel like I don't know what's wrong with me, I know something is, I think...I don't know... GOD I just feel like screaming and tearing my hair out! It's been a week and a day since my last psych appt, and I'm going NUTS. I talk to him about stuff I never talk about to anyone else, and it's all building up inside me. I keep getting thoughts popping into my head...weird morbid stuff like gory images, SI/suicidal stuff (ps: just thought, not action!) or just insults from the back of my head talking to me, like "lazy", "loser", "moron" etc, etc. I tend to get obsessive about thoughts and feelings in particular, and tend to analyze them to DEATH (pdoc says it's my defense mechanism). I just feel so confused and scared. Sorry for the rant... I think I just really need someone to talk to.