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So... my nurse once said that I probably have avoidant personality disorder. According to Myers–Briggs test I have INTP personality which really fits me, but also seems to be this personality associated with all personality disorders from schizoid to borderline disorder. So either this means I have fucked up personality or that my personality disorder is effecting my results. How nice. Lately I've been getting worse with my anxiety. I've always known I'm fat and average looking, but lately I've started to think: "What if my personality is ugly too?" It probably is, but it's kind of soul crushing observation to make. Even though I didn't have friends growing up I always used to think I was at least good person to some extent. Few years I've tried to be more social, but it's not easy. More time I spend interacting with people around me, more it makes me feel like there must be something seriously wrong with me. Everything I say seems to offend people even though I don't actually mean to offend anyone. Also my emotions are all mixed up. I'm so emotional and sensitive when it comes to what people think of me, but on the other hand I feel like I could probably sell my own grandmother if I wanted to. It just doesn't seem normal, but I don't know what I should do to change things either. When surrounded by friends I feel lonely and leftover. When I try to go to sleep it gets even worse, which is why I usually stay up all night. Maybe I should just find a hole to hide in and never come out again? I just feel so tired of being so lonely, but unable to spend time with people without thinking they must actually hate me or at least think I'm disgusting. I don't know what anyone could do with this information I've given, but hopefully someone can relate. I guess I'd like to know if there is someone out there who feels the same way at least. Does this sound like avoidant personality disorder to you?