Search the Community

Today started off well enough with me relaxing and watching a documentary. Everything was just peachy until I got to work. The most minute things my manager did made me feel absolutely furious! I had to try keeping my mouth shut in order to keep myself from going off at her. She didn't even do anything major, she just wasn't grabbing the register and left it to the rest of us to do... and also wouldn't help us with making smoothies unless we asked her to... and a few other things-- okay, so she freaking sucks as a manager, that makes sense. But the degree of my anger was absolutely uncalled for. I found myself wanting to scream at her, burst into tears in the middle of my shift (even though I wasn't even that stressed), floor the gas pedal on the way home, and be pretty destructive overall. I did none of these things, thank god, but the feeling was still there. I heard people with bipolar disorder can be irritable, angry and aggressive sometimes as a symptom. Is this true?? This irritation and anger feels like it came out of nowhere. D:

Ok where to start... hate this... ok I'm 21 and I'll tell a brief of my story. I had a great infancy lets say before 9 years blahblahbla but at some point I started to get more and more introverted and "fragile". Later got bullied in school. My adolescence was conflicting. at 18 i started to use LSD, it was fantastic and so I realized that I needed help for my depression. ok. Soon I started to do cocaine and soon alot of coke and u know- rehab bolocks. in the meantime got various "suicidal" attempts (but never intended to kill myself, just self-harm or so). OK thats a just little of my life and would be impossible to write it all cuz i dont remember alot. THE POINT IS. Im diagnosed with Major Depression, Borderline Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, Bipolar and ADHD (is it even possible to have all of these disorders together, if not more?). Thats what I know cuz my psych hides the rest. I can say that I tried almost all antidepressants/antipsychs/stimul/anxiolytics and never got good results. also many illegal drugs. So far, recently i've switched my ritalin 60mg to vyvanse 100mg. I must tell you, it changed my life 180 degrees. Now I can feel normal, positive, calm, motivated etc. and not anymore irritable, depressed, craving drugs/alcohol, self-harmfull etc. Why vyvanse solved all the problems that the others didnt? is that possible cause I dont see so many people using it as a anti-depressant other than just for ADHD? What i mean, vyvanse makes me awesome because makes me fell normal. I know its an amphetamine and is addictive blah blah. I really dont care as much as i dont get tolerance (which i'm not). I don't feel euphoria, feel nromal happyness. It also feels natural. Sure taking a higher dosage would be euphoric, but i dont plain to do so, its like im healed from drug abuse now. Anyway I like to share my experience, maybe some others with resistant-depression who dont respond to traditional ad's should try this shit.