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  • Stuff That Makes You Feel Like Crap
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Found 9 results

  1. How many people here work consistently (full-time or part-time?) and how are you also able to also manage this condition successfully? Is your job high-level/stressful or is it a relief/distraction? Have you ever had to take medical leave, had frequent hospitalizations or have you ever been "let go" due to your issues? Also: Do you live alone or with roommates or with your parents? Have great supportive friends that regularly check-in with you? Do you worry about losing your health insurance and being able to afford treatment? I'm just curious how other people here cope.
  2. What kind of job do you enjoy? I really enjoyed working in security for quite a while. Always time to socialize, adaptive to both low and high energy states. Always new situations to manage. Need space? Do a perimeter check, or pretend to read important stuff. Need to keep busy? Create a new filing system, or help someone out with whatever they're doing or forgot to do. In a sucky job right now and brainstorming. Also interested in what everyone else likes to do and why. En Todas! -Toas
  3. One thing I have heard that pdocs and tdocs not infrequently tell their patients with psychotic disorders is that they should lower their expectations and not expect to have any kind of meaningful career. (One example that sticks out in my head is Elyn Saks being told she should quit law school and instead become a cashier.) I had never run into this in the past; of course, I was being treated as primarily having a mood disorder, with the psychotic element of it having little attention until recently. But something my tdoc said recently really stuck out, which was that I was actually doing really well, since I have a decent job, which of course implies that having a decent job at all - even though a good amount of the time I have been essentially flailing at it over the past year - is exceptional, and that I should not expect to have one at all - even though I had never even thought of not having a job (aside from when between two different jobs), or even taking off from my job (except when I have to go IP), even at my very most ill, as even a possibility So have any of you ran into this sort of thing yourselves?
  4. i've had one too many jobs. I'm aware I'm beginning to wear myself down of places I can work here. What's worse is I don't have my drivers license, or even remotely have a clue HOW to drive. Every time I lose a job, I immediately hunt for another one. I'm beginning to think I may as well have a damn felon record (no offense to anyone who does) because I feel like with how many jobs I've quit, employers are gonna look at me twice. I'm a very honest and hard working person, but no one wants to give me the benfit of the doubt. My disability finally has been approived, but I'm also by no means ready to live on my own. I can't. I have to have someone with me. I lost my best friend, and my boyfriend lives in universit housing. Although they are apartments, but I can't be on the lease and I technically can't move in. But they won't care. The only other issue is my parents don't know we're together. I'm just tired of feeling like I dug myself a hole I cant escape from... its really depressesing me.
  5. Hi I don't really know if I am posting in the right place. So modificators, feel free to move, thanks. Hmm so I have a big problem with identity. It's like, I don't have any hopes and dreams, or knowledge of what I like or whatever. Even if I did, I don't know how it'd relate to getting a job or what job field to go in. So my question is, is there any advice service that can help with this? Or something? I feel like recruitment agencies are only a big parade leading to them doing what I could do anyway for free. I hate my current job with a passion, I hear people laugh uncomfortably when I tell them I spent 50 hours a week wishing I were dead (at least), but it's not a joke (travelling time is ideation time, if I'm not asleep). Don't tell anyone, but my current job makes me dissociate (maybe), and I cry a lot (it's dumb), and have nosebleeds (it never happened before, and I'm pretty sure I haven't been near any radioactive waste recently). I'm good at being sober in general, but the only way I feel like I can face work is being high off my ass or drunk as hell. All my good qualities are neglected. I'm losing my integrity. I'm really, really overqualified. I make people laugh so much. There's a good relationship with other workers because it sucks, but really all their lives are about is, how shitfaced they got on Saturday/Sunday/Wednesday night. I take a razor to work a lot. I don't use it because that would be unhygienic but sometimes I just contemplate it. I want to move. I mean, I'll take a decent job in any country in the world.
  6. Last month I wrote a post about losing my job from panic attacks. After a month of searching and preparing, I managed to secure a new job as a website developer for another small company. There are not many options in this city for this type of work, so I really need to make this one last! The deal is that I will be working on a three month contract as a front-end coder to pick up the slack for backed-up projects. I'm confident in my abilities as a developer and I feel like being away from the designing end of things will give me a chance to do something more structured and less stressful than having to squeeze out creativity during a high-anxiety period. If in the next three months I prove myself a worthy investment for the company, my contract will end and I will gain a full time permanent position. The office holds about eight employees, all young women with the exception of one who will be the lead I work under. This will be a first working in a female-dominated environment. I get along fine with people, male or female, so I am not afraid, I just don't know what to expect on that front. I don't know if there is a difference working with mostly women compared to working with men. I am more comfortable working in a semi-private location that is still close to the action of the office. This particular office has no such arrangement. I will be working in a completely open (and small) space so it will be difficult to find a quiet place if I need a break from the noise. My coworkers have been descried as 'close-knit' so it is imperative I fit in and mesh well with the personalities of each person. I need to blend in to the dynamic of the workplace, there is no room to be disconnected or quiet. In order to help combat my fears, I have been to the local mental health clinic for assessment. I was told I was being given 'urgent status' on a waiting list for two group therapies. I was told to expect up to two months to be contacted for one, and a few weeks for the other. I have not heard anything since then. I was not given any further information about the groups or their location, nor was I given contact information. I saw a new doctor recently and he has put in a referral for a psychiatric assessment of my mental state and my current medications (which I know are not working for me right now). Although progress is in the works, I still do not have any form of therapy and my medication is not under control. I am basically floating without any help whatsoever. What I would like to know is how others cope with work. What type of interim solutions are there for people who have no choice but to carry on with a normal life without any aids? Although there may be a little more flexibility at this company because it is small, I will still need to show up every single day (historically a difficult point with me), I will need to be calm in the face of my coworkers, and I will need to be fit to complete my work within given deadlines. I would really like to have anti-anxiety medication to help me while I wait for my psychiatric assessment, but the most recent doctor I have seen did not want to touch my medication himself, and a previous doctor I saw wanted to have my previous health records first (but my previous doctor has a policy against releasing her notes and will not do so). Is there a way to get a prescription, from these doctors or elsewhere, to help me? Any comments are valuable and appreciated!
  7. Probably a stupid question. I've never had any direction career-wise. Other people look at their skills and interests to figure out what jobs/careers are right for them, but I've never been able to come up with a single idea. As far as I am concerned, I have no skills... And, strangely, I don't have any real interests. I have racked my brains for years but no job seems right for me at all. The only thing I know is mental illness.... I've had severe social phobia (possibly bordering on agoraphobia) for years, plus depression, generalized anxiety, and a little OCD. Actually I started out with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, which I'm fairly sure I still have. My self-esteem is non-existent; minus zero. I'm in a constant battle with myself. I know how all of it feels, because I've been there. So, I was wondering if maybe my career is staring me in the face? Maybe I should help other girls with poor body image and social anxiety? Could I even do that? I mean, I've got a hell of a long way to go. I'm in CBT, and I still struggle leaving my home. Could I ever be well enough to help others? I know there are lots of different ways someone can work in mental health, so I'm not sure what would be "right" for me, if anything. I live in the UK.
  8. I want to start out by saying I'm not stuck in self loathing and depression - just having a bad day where I miss the dreams I had before accepting and being diagnosed as bipolar. If any one would like to jump in and have a post of self pity, have your way. I wanted to be a Navy SEAL, a state trooper, or some kind of Agent. I worked hard all through school, stayed in extreme shape, and clear of trouble so that I would have the best shot possible. I'm a master marksmen and have a love for firearms that my family instilled and taught to me. (please no anti-gun or pro-gun talk, this isn't about firearms) But in a moment of acceptance in a P. Dr.'s office it was all stripped away. My wife as lovely as she is and as understanding as she impressively is it makes both of us sad when she can't grasp whats going on inside me. I've been med's for a few years and my life is WAY better now than ever thanks to them but some aspects still remain and affect my life from time to time. When they do it's hard for my wife to understand which is totes understandable. Obviously being bipolar affects us all and our loved ones in all kinds of ways. Many wayyyyy worse than mine and I'm not trying to be all poor poor me. Just wanted to take a moment and grab a virtual beer with some fellow bp's! (is that a thing? bp's?)
  9. Hi Everyone, I don't want to have a blog or anything and I have no idea where else to post this, but I wanted to share for a couple of reasons. 1) I didn't want anyone to worry about me since I have been MIA since Thanksgiving. I wanted to let everyone know that I am perfectly fine, just really busy because I got the job that I had been interviewing for! Yay! I'm so excited. Mostly because I love the job, the work, my boss the company everything. 2) I just wanted to share my joy with everyone since I don't have a lot of friends or family and all of them are like finally you got off your ass and got a job. They don't understand how difficult it was for me being bipolar and all. Plus all of the anxiety I went through with the process of applying then worrying that they didn't like me or that I didn't have the skills, then the phone interview and the anxiety with that then the in person interview, then the offer, then the background check then orientation then actually starting. Whew. I can get anxious about anything! But now I'm all settled in and doing well. So if anyone is trying to get a job and they suffer from mental health issues I want to let you know that it is possible. I know that some of you are not as high functioning as I am and that this totally doesn't even apply to you at all, but some of us do want to work or have to work and it is difficult to go through the process. Also it is difficult if you get fired for your mental illness like what happened to me at my last job. Just don't give up. There is a job out there for you and you will find one that is a good fit for you. If I'm not around as much as I used to be don't worry about me I'm probably just busy. I'll check in from time to time though. Take care everyone!
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